by Linda Taylor
‘So he stays with Robson then? No home of his own?’ Peter continued to ask.
‘Not as far as I know. You’re right though, Pete. We will have to be more open. He says ‘things aren’t as they seem’ and I must trust him. I do trust him too and not just because I love him. He said I was safer not knowing. That scares me.’
‘Mm. I must go now, old bean. M.O.D. is calling. Take care of yourself. We’re looking into the photograph of my old man and that ugly set he was with too. Catch you later.’
It seemed everyone had someone they were working with. Daniel and the nefarious Robson. Peter and his ‘contacts’ whereas I, I had no one, not now that my beloved Aunt was gone. How I missed her.
John Connelly rang me back and I went to see him again that afternoon.
I told him about the uncanny music box and its tune.
‘The same as in your dream? The tune I mean?’
‘Yes. I loved receiving it from him, especially as it was his brother Jacques’ but I cannot bring myself to listen to it.’
‘Understandable,’ replied John kindly.
‘And this is a family heirloom and now you carry his child?’
John stopped to blow his nose loudly. He had an awful head cold and the room smelt of vapour rub.
‘I hope you don’t get this cold, Louisa.’ He added’ but I do think time is of the essence and that we need to get ahead with our dream work, so I didn’t want too long a gap between sessions.’
‘I do understand. But what do you mean by putting those facts together exactly?’
‘Ah. Well, the still small voice… ‘ he paused and took up his spectacles from his desk top.
‘It’s just there is some more research going on about the unborn. The womb and its echoes…’
‘You’ve lost me there,’ I responded.
‘I’m on shaky ground, myself,’ his face tensed.
Then he continued to explain:’ some people believe that within the womb we are entire, spiritually. They believe we lose abilities once we suffer the trauma of being brought into the physical world. You may have heard people explaining that dimple,’ he leant over and touched above my upper lip,’ some people will say it is a mark from God or whatever’s finger, which is set there to silence the all-knowing newly born! A nice idea, that, eh? Not that I hold with it as being quite like that. But the unborn and its innate abilities is still an area that we need to know more about. The unborn responds to music; he can be seen to be smiling or is it wind? What about the unborn’s skills at influencing you, its host?
‘What do you mean?’
‘Your dream, of course. Is it your dream or is it your unborn child sending you the dream? How can anyone know ? We know when someone is dreaming but we don’t necessarily know why or how, or even what, makes the dream, what puts it into some sense. You see, if the brain is just a store cupboard of experiences, then why do some of these change, mutate even, into a dream and a dream that can seem like reality? Wouldn’t you agree?’
‘Goodness me, yes. The fear is real enough. But is the unborn baby’s brain even there?’ I asked ignorantly.
‘Oh, it is developing of course. But I am talking about spiritual here, or if you like about the mind.. no one can pinpoint and say ‘this bit is the mind’, now can they? How can we ever gauge the maturity of the unborn mind or spirit? But I digress somewhat. Let’s try a massage and go back into that dream of yours. Have you had it recently?’
‘No. Not recently.’
‘Do you ever have it, Louisa, when you are with this man?’
‘Daniel’ I corrected him.
‘Sorry, yes, Daniel’ He blew his nose again and turned away to use an inhaler.
‘Not so far. But we have had a strange experience.’
‘Tell me about it. I’m just going to move behind you and start on your head massage. Keep talking’.
I related the experience of my seeing the grey lady at the bottom of the bed when Daniel was with me and how he had said he too saw a figure and that he knew his figure was of his mother.
John stopped the massage momentarily.
‘It sounds as if this man is either humouring you, would he?’
‘No. No I think he meant it and his phantom was as real’.
‘Or he is spiritually akin to you, just as sensitive, as well as being your lover? Do you think you could be, what we term psychic?’
I moved my head and he stopped the massage.
‘I have never thought of it. But then with my Uncle and his history of attending séances and mediums, I have never wanted to think of myself like that. My parents always mocked such things.’
‘Yes. I remember you saying so. They could be your angels, these phantoms, for both of you. Do you remember we talked of them before?’
‘I do. I must ask him again how he really feels about seeing her. I know mine doesn’t trouble me –she never has, but then I don’t recognise her.’
‘Yes. I would like to know. But if he has been seeing her some time, I guess she is nothing to fear either at this stage.’
‘He says she is his mother and she is crying and looking for his brother. He doesn’t know where his brother is. But I think I might soon know more.’ I couldn’t help telling John my suspicions. I knew how much he needed to get to know me in order to help me and trust had grown quickly between us.
‘Another reason perhaps that he is drawn to you?’
‘I don’t yet know what happened though, or why, John.’
‘Time might not be relevant here. But don’t be alarmed Louisa, but tell me, is this brother of his dead and you know it?’
I sat forward and found myself beginning to cry.
‘Yes. Oh yes. I fear the poor lad is!’
‘Do you understand now about the links that might be here?’
‘I’m trying to,’ I said, drying my tears with a tissue he handed to me.
‘So am I, dear girl. So am I. I am in the business of trying to see, he smiled down at me’ I think we should leave the session today and maybe continue tomorrow?’
I readily agreed.
Chapter 14
I was laying some carnations on Aunt and Uncle’s grave. It had been raining heavily and we were having a wet, sunless summer so far. My mobile phone began to throb inside my raincoat pocket. It was Daniel and he said we must meet urgently. I suggested the church where I was, as here we could talk in the doorway unseen. He readily agreed.
I waited in the doorway out of the rain. The wooden gate lead onto the main road and I could see if anyone was coming easily from there. A car pulled up and parked and Daniel was driving it. He was alone and hunched up with his hat pulled over his brow. I watched him walk up the muddied pathway, looking anxiously behind him as if he feared he was being followed.
He kissed me warmly and took my cold hands in his. He rubbed them and kissed them too.
‘I came as quickly as I could when you suggested here,’ he remarked’ I hope you haven’t got too cold?’
‘I’m fine, now you are here.’
‘Do you know of somewhere quiet that can serve us a hot coffee or something hereabouts?’ he asked
‘What about my place?’ I began.
‘No. Better we go somewhere less known. I have some things to tell you about, although not all. And something I need you to do for me.’
We found a small café in a side road. I had passed it but never been inside before.
We ordered hot chocolate drinks and they were too sweet but nice and hot.
‘Louisa. I promised to tell you more, didn’t I, when the time was right?’ he sounded so very serious.
‘You did. Do you own that car then? Why don’t you use it?’
He smiled back at me and kissed me again.
‘Dear Louisa. Yes, It is mine. But it suits my purposes not to use it, to let Robson think I have to go everywhere on foot. That way I can be freer of him without his even knowing. We haven’t that much time darling and I have things to say. I
want you to pretend we have parted. Don’t be alarmed. It’s just to be on the safe side.’
‘Parted? He knows we have a child coming…’ I began
‘I don’t want you in any danger, especially now. And if he thinks we have parted- I shall say the child isn’t even mine, he’ll believe that as he hates women. This way you needn’t ever see him again and I can confide in you safely. Promise me you won’t ever open the door to him. Use that spy hole you have and put your answer machine on always?’
I nodded my consent. ‘Daniel, does he have some kind of hold over you? What is it about him? I felt something that day I met him on holiday.’ I had to ask.
‘He thinks he has a hold on me and that’s the way we want it. But no, he’s an evil bastard and I don’t want him anywhere near you and our baby.’
‘I had no idea you felt like that. What IS going on? And who are WE?’
Daniel looked anxiously at his wrist watch.
‘I cannot stay too long. Be in the Red Bull at 7.30 Wednesday. I shall come in with Robson and a blond woman who will be holding my hand and looking lovingly at me.’
‘Oh yes…’ I took his head in my hands and pulled him nearer.
He smiled at this’ She will be acting the part and she can act well believe you me. She has had some practice. She can also defend herself and knows more about all this than you must ever know.
‘I want you to see us, come over and slap me across the face; Call me something choice and glare… do anything to convince Robson, and me for that matter, that it is all over between us. Can you do that?’
‘I think I can,’ I said’ ‘especially if she is slim and attractive. Not like I feel and look now.’
His eyes looked down at my growing shape.
‘Good girl. You have never looked so desirable! I must get back.
It does mean we will have to talk on mobiles only. Take this. It’s new and the number isn’t known. Await my call. Take care and be REAL, use any memory, anything to help make it REAL,’ he emphasised. I pushed the mobile phone down deeply into my pocket and we walked together, for one last time, to his car. He got in and as he began to drive away he mouthed back to me: ‘I love you, Louisa. I love you.’
But now I didn’t know when I would see him again and I was fearful for the three of us.
When I got back to the flat, the answer machine informed me that the employment agency expected me to call and that if I chose not to respond, I was off their books. I sat down wearily having deleted all messages.
That night I dreamt the dream. As I approached the chalet Robson turned to me with that look of menace. ‘You just had to come didn’t you, Louisa’ he repeated. But then he turned and picked up one of the brass candelabra and was coming towards me with it held high in his hand. I awoke sweating, breathless just as it was about to come down on my head.
It was 1am and I rang John Connelly out of sheer panic.
‘‘Louisa? What has happened?’ he sounded sleepy and still full of cold.
‘Can you come, John? It’s worse. The dream has moved on,’ he stopped me there.
‘I’m on my way, dear girl. I won’t be more than 15 minutes. Don’t open the door until you hear me say ‘Geronimo’. If you are in such distress, you must have safeguards. Geronimo and nothing less,’ he emphasised.
‘Okay, John.’
I got into my dressing gown and put the kettle on ready for his arrival.
I looked through my peep hole and then he knocked and said ‘Geronimo,’ I recognised his voice and could see his red face clearly.
‘I didn’t know if you had one of those,’ he commented on entering’ and anyway people can easily stand out of vision. Well done.’
I hugged this big kind man and he let me.
‘I am so frightened,’ I said.
He sat me down.
‘Is that coffee I can smell through this big ugly swollen thing on my face, that was once a normal nose?’ he joked, lightening the atmosphere.
I sat down and let him find his way about my kitchen. It was small and basic enough for anyone to use.
He came back in with two chipped mugs and joined me on the settee.
‘Where did you find those?’ I queried.
‘Oh cracks add flavour! Are you calmer now?’
‘Yes. I do believe I am. Geronimo! Honestly!’
He seemed pleased at this tease’ Well, I was still half asleep and needed to think quickly.’
‘I hope you don’t mind’, suddenly I felt ashamed at calling him and this early in the morning.
‘No, no. This is an ideal time. We’ll drink up and then I’ll give you a massage and you can go back in to the dream’ he said.
‘No, never, never!’ I started to shake.
‘Okay. Louisa, it was a DREAM… you cannot make it real.
It cannot harm you physically, unless you let it. Unless you believe you can make it real. That is impossible, I assure you. Tell me it. Tell me how it has progressed.’
And so I told him about the candelabra and how I had just awoken in time.
‘We never die in a dream do we? Or should I say, we never take that fatal fall, or feel that bullet killing us? Isn’t that so?’
I nodded agreement and finished my coffee. He stood behind me and began to massage my head and shoulders. He had lowered the lights and the room was dim.
I felt weary and then sleepy. I could hear his voice lowered but clear as he instructed me.
‘You are through the forest now, Louisa.’
‘Yes. I am.’
‘Can you hear more birds? Listen.’
‘Yes, I can.’
‘Where are you now?
‘I am at the chalet door. My breath is hard to… I cannot get my breath!’
‘Your lungs are fine. Breathe. Breathe in and out, breathe deeply in, now out.’
I obeyed.
‘Is that better now?’
‘Yes. Much better.’
‘Where to now, Louisa?’
‘I am going through that chalet door.’ I told him as it closed behind me.
‘What do you want to do about the candelabra?’
‘I want. I want to take hold of them.’
‘You know where they sit. You told me where you had seen them before. Are you ready to go in?’
‘I’m inside! I’m inside!’
‘Breathe Louisa! Breathe! You know how. You’ve been doing it for years!’ his voice was clear and close beside me.
I walked into the ill-lit room. I could hear the French rhyme again, just as it was in my musical box. The box dear Daniel had given me. My darling, my own Daniel.
I walked across to the sideboard and took up both of the candelabra. I put them behind my back.
There he stood, his look, his stance, menacing.
‘You just had to come, didn’t you Louisa!’ he said.
I raised the candelabra and went forward towards him.
I screamed at him- ‘Die bastard! Die!’
My words began to echo as if in a chamber. The room was spinning now. I was falling, falling downwards to I knew not where. I screamed. I opened my eyes. John was patting my face.
‘Louisa! Louisa! Come back now and tell me how you did!’
I sat up, wide awake.
‘John ! John! I killed the bastard! I killed him!’
He was standing over me and smiling down at me, rubbing at my upper arms that felt numbed and began to tingle, as if he already knew what had happened.
Then he said’ Of course you did, Louisa. Of course you did. But you killed a dream.’
I laughed and cried and he held me like a father would his daughter.
‘Will I have it again, John?’ I finally asked.
‘Have that dream again, the way you slaughtered it? I very much doubt it,’ he grinned.
He left me feeling strong, calm and so much more at peace, but not until he had had a rather early egg and bacon.
‘This work is playing havoc on my figure,’ h
e joked , as he left me later that morning.
I slept soundly and late and when I awoke I was feeling totally refreshed for once.
I had just stepped out of the bath when I heard Peter’s voice outside the door. I wrapped my towelling robe about me and peered through the peep hole.
‘What’s with all that?’ he asked as he came in.
‘Can you see my eye then?’
‘No. But you can see a light there and I knew you had one. But why use it on little ole me?’
‘Sit down,’ I said, ‘and all will be revealed!’
‘I have more news for you, too’ he said, sounding almost excited.
‘Let me get dressed and decent. There are some eggs in the fridge. Why don’t you make one of your famous omelettes for lunch?’
‘It’s a deal, coz. Hurry up. I want to hear your news before I give you mine.’
Peter had always had a good appetite. And he was one of those annoying people who never seemed to put any weight on, whatever he ate.
He made a fair cheese and onion omelette though: light and fluffy. I found my appetite had improved and he watched me tuck in with a look of disbelief.
I told him what Daniel wanted me to do and he made no objection but offered to be in the pub as well, but I refused his offer, as I was determined to follow Daniel’s instructions to the letter. I wasn’t going to risk anything.
‘Well, the police are after Robson aka De Vere, alright, and they reckon the driver wasn’t his target. He slipped up there. He had access to the dining room and was seen wandering into the kitchen area, according to the hotel staff, claiming he was lost. The police are quite sure he was after someone else on that coach trip.’
‘But who could it be? And the driver died on the way to the hotel, so he didn’t have access, he couldn’t have had, not yet.’
‘No, the driver stopped for a ‘wee’ stop as they call them on the way. He and Daniel sat with the driver then and he was a smoker and left the table, so one statement claims. But the wandering into the kitchen, that could have been a failed attempt to get at the right people, where the coach crash hadn’t worked out too fatal, except for the driver of course. Who knows, with the criminal mind? My source tells me they have looked at the photographs and prepare yourself, love, they think maybe he was after Ma.’