Love Hime or Leave Him

by Sara Daniel

  This time Mrs. Parker tottered in. Behind her, Matt backed his truck to the entrance. As soon as the elderly lady cleared the threshold, Toby opened the truck bed to reveal a large piece of equipment lying on its side.

  Becca squinted. “Is that a treadmill?”

  He grinned and nodded.

  “I had it in the farmhouse for years,” Mrs. Parker said. “Mr. Parker thought we needed one, but he did so much work outside he never wanted to walk once he came in, so it just sat in the spare room until I moved into town. Then it ended up in my garage behind a pile of boxes. Toby suggested you might like it here to get you started.”

  She’d love it—if she could afford it. “How much do you want for it?”

  “Want? Not a thing.” The woman sounded offended at the mere suggestion of money. “It’s a gift, the least I can do after your brother gave up his weekends to help an old lady get organized.”

  Toby had done what? Here she’d been complaining about him blowing her off to hang out with his friends when he’d been volunteering for the elderly instead. He’d also fixed the rowing machine and now had arranged for this treadmill. She hadn’t given him nearly enough credit for having his act together.

  At a loss for what she could say or do to make herself worthy of the gift, she stood, holding the door open. Within minutes, Matt and Toby had the treadmill plugged in and situated in a corner of the room. The electronic screen lit up, and Toby began trotting in a light jog.

  “Works great,” he said, sliding off the end and jumping to the floor.

  Becca’s eyes stung as she turned to Mrs. Parker. “I don’t know how to thank you.” She looked at Matt and Toby. “You guys too, for all your work.”

  “Invite us to stay for the party,” Matt said.

  “Party?” She didn’t have anything to throw a party with, least of all energy. She was simply going home to collapse in her broken chair and veg out in front of The Travel Channel, something she hadn’t done in forever.

  “A folding table and more chairs are in my car,” Rochelle said, walking in with two metal chairs.

  Toby immediately took them from her and opened one for Mrs. Parker. He hadn’t looked the least surprised by the mention of a party.

  “I have lemonade,” Veronica announced, following Rochelle in with a giant pitcher, her niece Jenny carrying a stack of plastic cups. “Is Pauline here yet?”

  “Ten minutes, she just texted,” Matt replied.

  “She’s finishing boxing the food up,” Rochelle added.

  This party was a coordinated effort? Becca’s head spun, trying to keep up.

  “Good. That gives us just enough time to hang the TV,” Jake said, entering behind the ladies.

  “What TV?”

  “The one I’m taking from my living room to watch while I’m on the treadmill.”

  Accepting a treadmill from a lady too unsteady to safely use it on her own was one thing. “Jake, I can’t—”

  “If you think I’m going to jog with nothing to distract me from my misery, I’ve got news for you,” he said. “The TV is non-negotiable.”

  Yes, a fitness center needed a television. But she couldn’t take this one. “I can’t take the TV from your house.”

  “Sure you can, and as my personal trainer, you should. If I want to watch TV, I have to burn fat while I do it. My La-Z-Boy is now in your living room. I owed you a chair.”

  “You did not. I’m at fault for holding the class in a too small space and creating unsafe conditions.”

  “You break it. You buy it,” Jake quipped. “You still have a hole in your living room wall, though. I thought maybe we could call it even with this TV.”

  “More than even.” Again, she stood by feeling both useless and awed as Toby and Matt worked together to secure brackets in the wall near the ceiling.

  “Chicken parmigiana,” Pauline announced, walking in the door.

  “Who’s running the diner?”

  “No one. We’re sending all the customers over here for free food and to sign up for classes and memberships.”

  As she said that, a middle-aged couple Becca knew casually from the store stepped into the building, looking curiously from one end to the other. She walked over to show them around and invite them to share in the food.

  Veronica produced a couple of clipboards with blank paper for sign-up sheets. “I know you haven’t had time to make brochures yet, but you can use these to record people’s information and what they’re most interested in.”

  A few minutes later, Janis entered, glancing around the space. “I’ve been slacking off over the winter, but I need a good workout routine to get me back in shape for the adult softball season.”

  “Pitcher, right?” Becca remembered, diving into suggestions for arm and full-body workouts, while everyone else filled their plates and balanced cups of lemonade, crowding around the table. Her friends had gone to such effort to create this special event for her. She’d never find this love and dedication anywhere else. She didn’t ever want to leave to attempt to look.

  But despite the crowd of walk-ins and friends, not everyone had come. Becca kept scanning out the window, hoping perhaps he was just patrolling the streets. But even when on duty, he usually managed to stop in wherever crowds gathered. Despite being surrounded with good food, a fabulous new enterprise, and her best friends, her chest ached.

  She’d fallen in love with Connor. No, she’d never stopped loving Connor. And her life—in this town or outside of it—would never be complete without him.

  Someone pressed a plate into her hands as the crowds began to filter out, leaving her alone with her original circle of friends. Becca set down the clipboard that was now three-quarters full of names. She had enough interest for an evening class—probably two evening classes, one early and one late.

  She raised her fork to her mouth, and the door opened again. Connor walked in, and her heart swelled, clinching the realization she’d come to earlier. Becca pushed away her food and ran to him, not caring they had an audience, as she jumped into his arms. “You have to see this. Mrs. Parker brought me a treadmill, and Jake gave me a TV, and oh gosh, I’m crying.”

  Seeing him for the first time after he’d defended her to Simon—defended her despite having no concrete proof of her innocence—she was overwhelmed by how much she’d missed him, not just today but from the years after Dennis’s lies had broken them apart and she’d had no one to turn to. Now she wanted nothing more than to cling to his solid, strong chest forever. God, she loved this man.

  “Hey.” He smoothed her hair back from her face, his green eyes full of concern. “What’s wrong?”

  “Nothing.” She smiled through her tears. “Everything is absolutely perfect.”

  “Then why are you crying?”

  “Because everyone has worked so hard to give this center a wonderful christening, and I didn’t want any of it unless I could share it with you.” She cupped her hands around his cheeks and turned his face toward her. Afraid to share those three potent words and have them greeted with silence, leaving them both awkward and embarrassed around each other, she instead chose to share her feelings physically, kissing him squarely on the mouth and tangling her tongue with his.

  Desire, tenderness, and need welled inside her. She’d kissed Connor before, both in the past week and twelve years ago. Those had been the best kisses of her life, but they were nothing compared to this absolute certainty that their mouths and bodies belonged together. In Connor’s arms she came alive.

  “You know, if you’d rather turn this into a private party, just say the word and we’ll clear out,” Veronica said.

  Becca pulled back, suddenly self-conscious of their audience. As much as she wanted Connor, she couldn’t ditch the party everyone had put together for her.

  “The party’s not going anywhere. I was just welcoming Connor to join us.” She managed to keep her tone light, but she couldn’t meet Toby’s gaze. She’d never ever brought a guy home or let Tob
y see her going out with anyone. Ever since Mom had died, they had been alone together, never depending on anyone else.

  “It’s been a heck of a long time since I’ve been welcomed like that,” Mrs. Parker said.

  “If my ex ever welcomed me that way, he wouldn’t be my ex,” Rochelle observed.

  Connor’s hand shifted onto her knee as they sat next to each other at the table. He dipped his head toward her, speaking into her ear. “I went to the VA office today. Thanks for the welcome. I sure as hell needed it.”

  Tears flooded her eyes again, as she realized her emotion swing was nothing compared to what he’d gone through. She entwined her fingers with his, keeping him close as the conversation flowed around them. She appreciated him for the person he was right now. His presence mattered. He mattered. If he kept hearing it from all sides again and again, he might begin to believe it.

  “Eat your dinner before it gets cold,” Pauline admonished everyone. “And mark Tuesday on your calendar. Last week’s creations were so abysmal I decided to extend the cocoa contest another week. I’ll prepare enough cocoa from each couple’s recipe for a taste test. Everyone who comes in the diner will get four numbered cups to rate. I’ll announce the winner that night.”

  “Can kids rate them too?” Jenny asked.

  “Of course you can.” Pauline beamed at her.

  Connor squeezed Becca’s hand. “We’ll blow everyone out of the water with your banana cocoa.”

  She shook her head. “Your turtle is better.”

  His hand slid across her palm, settling high on the inside of her thigh, warming every delicious place inside her until she wished she’d taken her friends up on the offer to give the two of them a private evening.

  …

  “Officer, Becca left the house at 4:45 a.m. again,” Zelda reported. “I know you explained she’s going to be doing it every day, but I’m telling you it’s just not normal.”

  Connor wiped his forehead and found it clammy but not dripping with sweat as he’d been accustomed to. “It’s normal for her. She’s a morning person, and she has a five o’clock exercise class to run at the fitness center.”

  “What was so wrong about running it out of her house? I bet she misses the convenience now that she has to drive across town.”

  Connor grinned but refrained from mentioning Zelda’s daily complaints about the home classes. “You know, she’s starting a special class at six thirty that I bet would help you stretch and strengthen your hip.”

  “I have cable TV. I don’t need to pay someone when I can get a class for free inside my living room.”

  “My treat, and it’ll give you an excuse to check out her new digs.”

  “Hmm, six thirty, you say? What are you going to do about your run today?” Zelda asked. “It’s raining buckets of cats and dogs.”

  He looked out the window at the dark gray sky barely visible through the torrents of water running down the window, and his grin widened. “Good thing the fitness center now has a treadmill.”

  After spending a couple more minutes assuring himself Zelda would come, he finished dressing and then drove to Becca’s already thriving business. He did his best not to disturb the class in session as he worked open the stubborn door and crossed the room with a sweat towel draped over his shoulder.

  “And reach for the high cabinet. Dishes on the left. Now cups on the right. Dishes. Cups. Dishes. That’s right. Nice job, Jake. Rochelle, I know you have high cupboards at home. You can do this. Stretch your body all the way up your arm until your fingertips tingle.”

  Connor turned on the treadmill and started at a walk, then bumped it up to a slow jog and then a full run. He’d planned to turn on his iPod but found it more entertaining to watch Becca push and encourage her students. Her energy never flagged. Her ponytail never stopped bouncing. Her voice never turned annoyed or censorious, and she was as cheerful at the end of class as she had been at the beginning.

  After everyone except Jake cleared out, Agatha and Mrs. Parker came in. Becca was just setting them up with some simple stretches when Zelda appeared uncertainly in the doorway. “You’re just in time,” Becca proclaimed. “I assume you know everyone.”

  “Everyone, but you. You never speak to me,” Zelda admonished.

  Becca blinked. “Because I’m still terrified you’re going to yell at me for trampling your flowers. But Connor assures me you’re a sweetheart,” she rushed to add.

  “Connor brings out the sweetheart in every woman, I imagine.”

  Becca caught his eye, and he knew she was thinking of him as a blue-haired ladies’ man again. “That he does.”

  He winked at her, hoping she realized he was only interested in one sweetheart.

  Becca seamlessly drew Zelda into the group, treating her with the same deference and familiarity she bestowed on Agatha and Mrs. Parker. After the stretches, she gave the ladies very light sets of hand weights and Jake a heavier set and began introducing them to simple arm movements.

  After the session, she personally escorted each lady to her respective car under an umbrella, then returned to focus on Jake. She showed him her pushup form, explaining the muscles activated with each up and down thrust, then repeated the explanations for the plank position.

  Connor enjoyed the way her yoga pants showed off her firm hips and buttocks. As her muscles flexed, he pushed the treadmill speed higher and clenched the handrails. No matter how much he attempted to work out his physical frustration on the equipment, relief and pleasure remained across the room—out of reach but not out of sight or mind.

  “I’ll try them at home,” Jake said, “and save myself a little bit of pride.”

  “You should be plenty proud of yourself,” Becca insisted. “You’ve been coming to exercise for a week. You kept up the momentum through back-to-back classes this morning.”

  “And I didn’t break any furniture,” he added sardonically.

  “Even better, you were able to snap your pants. You’ve already increased your energy and muscle mass, while losing inches and fat. Don’t let anyone take away your pride in the person you are inside and the physical body you’re sculpting on the outside.”

  His gaze softened. “Thanks, Becca. I couldn’t have done this without you.”

  “Oh yes, you could. But you can’t do it without believing in yourself,” she said fiercely. “You will succeed, Jake, not because of me, but because you want it badly enough.”

  Connor closed his eyes as he continued to run in place. Yes, Jake could make his weight loss goal without her around. But Connor couldn’t achieve his goal without her. She embodied everything he longed for but had for years believed would never be his—love, laughter, vitality, sanctuary. His hands itched to finally reach out and grasp for it, but the possibility he might come up short kept them by his side.

  …

  “You’re a hot, sweaty mess,” Becca proclaimed, grinning at Connor as he turned off the treadmill and stepped to the floor. So far, the morning had been absolute fitness perfection, and she looked forward to extending that perfection to her personal life. “Lucky for you, I happen to like hot, sweaty messes.”

  “Yeah, well, unlucky for both of us, you don’t have showers and a locker room in here yet. And I smell like I’ve run ten miles at a full sprint.” He rubbed a towel over his entire head making his short, dark hair stick up on end.

  “Which you did,” she pointed out, having witnessed his speed on the treadmill. Gosh, she loved the sweaty, adorable, rumpled look. “You can use my place as a locker room.”

  Connor stopped in the process of running the hand towel over his face. “My house is six doors down from yours. There’s no reason for me to shower at your place unless you want to…” His voice trailed off.

  She met his gaze, all doubt dissolved by burning desire. “Yes, I want to.”

  He dropped the towel, his eyes blazing. “You’re sure?”

  She tightened her ponytail and stepped toward him. “Yes. Make love to me
, Connor. I’m not sixteen, anymore. I’m not scared of getting pregnant and being stuck here. I want whatever you’re willing to give me.”

  “In bed,” he clarified.

  “Of course in bed.” She had no illusions that one visit to the VA office had made him capable of giving more. But eventually, hopefully, maybe someday…

  “Okay. I’ll follow you home in my car.” He turned away without touching her.

  She stood rooted to the floor, disappointed he hadn’t hugged her and swept her away with passion before second thoughts invaded her mind. He’d stripped her of a handy rationalization for later. She wouldn’t be able to chalk this up to a hasty mistake. Consciously, she had to let him into her life knowing his demons still ruled him, knowing he may or may not fully trust her yet, knowing her future with him was uncertain at best.

  Her eyes were wide open, allowing for no regrets. She rewrapped her hair high and tight on her head, the best armor she had for giving her a confidence boost, then left the yoga mats and weights in the middle of the room. She’d come back and wipe everything down and stow them later. Right now she had a man to love—and love well. She led the way outside and drove home through the last remnants of rain as a hint of sunlight attempted to break through the clouds.

  While she pulled into the driveway, Connor parked on the street directly in front of her house. If Zelda and the other neighbors were paying attention to who she’d invited over, in broad daylight no less, she’d give them plenty to gossip about today. She’d lived through a storm of lies and snide remarks as a teen. Rumors were still swirling about the way she’d been fired from the store too. Well, she had nothing to hide. Let them talk.

  She welcomed him into her house, retrieving a full-size towel from the linen closet. “You can shower first.”

  He took the towel, looking like he’d prefer to take her instead. “You want to come in with me?”

  She swallowed. Oh my, she certainly did want to join him. But she wasn’t quite ready for the familiarity of showering together. She patted her smoothed-back hair. “Let’s take this one step at a time.”