Love Hime or Leave Him

by Sara Daniel

She squeezed his shoulder. “Whatever happens, we’ll get through it, you and me.”

  The fitness center came into view. The half-open door didn’t surprise her. Connor had likely rushed out to tell her the news, and that door was more finicky than the grocery store’s.

  “Someone broke the window,” Toby said.

  Not just broke it. Shattered it. She swallowed. She hadn’t expected to encounter anything truly violent. Glass glittered on the ground in front of the building with a couple of brightly colored hand weights mixed in. Connor had used the word trashed, but she’d envisioned a small mess or a silly prank like a spilled soda bottle or candies spewing from a fast-moving treadmill.

  Someone had targeted her building with the attempt to destroy. Her chest crumbled into as many pieces as the window. She made herself get out of the car and walk through the front door. Once inside, she couldn’t take another step. Big purple letters screamed from the walls, Go away, Becca. We don’t want you here.

  She’d assumed this place was temporary when she began, only a diversion on the way to her true dream. But running a fitness center, training her friends, and being surrounded by people she loved had been a dream come true for every single morning she’d lived it.

  Now the dream transformed into a nightmare. The people she loved didn’t love her back. They wanted her gone.

  Just like in high school, the townspeople she’d expected to embrace her had turned against her. Whether because they believed she was responsible for the damage to the grocery store or for some other reason, she didn’t know. It hardly mattered. They didn’t care about her side of the story. They simply wanted her to leave the only home she’d ever known.

  Connor’s arm slid around her waist, solid and dependable, with the support she’d longed for when she’d answered her front door. “You need to sit down.”

  He was right. She couldn’t stay strong. She had nothing left to stand up for.

  Connor held onto her, slowly lowering her to the cold, hard floor as she crumpled. “We’ll find out who did this, and we’ll fix it.”

  She shook her head. What could they fix? She couldn’t make people believe a truth they didn’t want to believe. “I don’t have anything left to stay here for.”

  …

  I don’t have anything left to stay here for. Becca’s words bounced in Connor’s head like a jumble of ping-pong balls.

  What about me? I love you. Stay here for me. It was true. He loved her. In fact, he’d returned to Kortville because he’d never stopped loving her. A hundred times he wished he’d spoken the reply aloud, and a hundred more times he was relieved he hadn’t. Just because he loved her didn’t mean he had anything to offer her. Even while he’d been in the same home as her, he hadn’t been able to keep her safe.

  That night the nightmares returned, but they weren’t of landmines in far-off lands. Instead, right in Kortville a faceless enemy pelted Becca with hand weights and treadmills while he ran and ran trying to save her. The harder he ran toward her the further away she became until he collapsed from exhaustion, unable to take another step.

  The phone rang, pulling him from the depths of his failure and pain, back to the reality of his ragged breathing alone in his dark room. He fumbled with the receiver. “Hello.”

  “Officer, in Becca’s driveway, I see him.”

  “Zelda?” Connor pushed away the last vestiges of his troubled sleep and returned to reality. “Didn’t Toby tell you his plan? He’s come up with a great surprise for Becca.”

  “Not that,” Zelda said impatiently. “The vandal. He’s spraying, ‘Go away’ on Becca’s car now. Never mind, I’ll stop him myself.”

  “What? Zelda, no. I’m on my way.” But he was too late. The blasted woman hung up on him.

  He threw on his uniform, grabbed his weapon and dashed down the street, wishing he’d thought to ask Zelda who he was going after. From six houses away he could see a hoodie and the silhouette that fit the profile of a young male, but the person was turned away from him.

  “What are you doing? That’s my car. Stop.” Becca ran out of her house straight to the person.

  He straightened and faced her, and now four lots away Connor recognized the young man as Nick. He held up his paint can and pointed it at Becca. “Don’t move, or I’ll spray this in your eyes.”

  Connor opened his mouth to shout a warning.

  “What are you doing, Nick?” Toby asked from the doorway.

  Nick grabbed Becca’s arm and shoved her against the trunk of the car, spraying her hand with purple paint as she attempted to push back. “I want to know what my supposed friend is doing? You promised as soon as your sister left I could move in with you. Instead, you’re trying to keep her here.”

  “You trashed my fitness center,” Becca said furiously, trying to wrestle the paint can from him.

  Connor wished he could convey the message to stay calm and take Toby’s approach to keep the boy talking, not antagonize him. He drew his weapon and tried to run both faster and quieter at once, afraid Nick would panic and hurt Becca more if he caught sight of the approaching officer.

  “Duh.” Nick swung the can like a bat this time, causing Becca to flinch away. “We had a deal, Toby. I helped you with the bike rack and the library. When you worried you might have to pay for the damage, I spray-painted Jake’s store to help you make more money.”

  “How could you say that stuff about Jake?” Becca demanded, rounding on him as Zelda limped none too quietly with her cane from the opposite direction.

  “I’m going to spray on your face what I think of you.” Nick held the spray can within inches of Becca’s eyes.

  Only one house away. Connor crossed the street, diagonally marking the shortest distance to reach her as Becca squeezed her eyes shut and turned her head aside while swinging her arms and kicking at Nick.

  “Why the grocery store?” Toby asked, his voice such a dead calm Connor knew the kid was stalling to allow him to reach the scene. “There was nothing for me to earn money fixing there.”

  “It started looking like Becca might not leave town at all. I had to get her fired to make her leave, so I’d have a place in your house.”

  Behind him, Zelda lifted her cane in both hands.

  Nick centered the paint can on Becca’s face again. “Why couldn’t you just leave? Why did you start that stupid fitness center?”

  Zelda brought the cane down in an overhand whack on Nick’s head.

  Eyes crossed, he crumpled into Becca’s waiting arms, the spray-paint can falling harmlessly to the ground.

  “So my friends will have the strength and coordination to protect themselves and each other,” Becca murmured. “Nicely done, neighbor.”

  Connor ran the remaining distance to her. He and Toby lifted Nick’s weight, just as the boy regained consciousness.

  He’d been too far away to protect her. All he’d been able to do was swoop in after it was too late. Just like his nightmares. Just like with Kevin.

  …

  “I’m sorry,” Toby said to Becca, as Connor led Nick down the sidewalk in handcuffs and neighbors from every direction began showing up and milling around the yard.

  “For what? You did nothing wrong,” Becca told him. “Well, except for the bike rack and the library.”

  “Yeah, but I’m really responsible for everything. I had these grand plans of living in this house, and I invited Nick to live with me as soon as you were gone. His parents have been threatening to kick him out for almost a year, and last month they told him as soon as he graduates he has to find somewhere else to live.”

  Becca pushed her index finger under his chin, lifting it until his gaze met hers. She and Toby had both made mistakes, but they still had each other. “It’s not your fault.”

  She looked out at the sea of people who had suddenly congregated, some watching her and Toby, others talking to each other. “Word gets around fast. How did everyone immediately know we caught the vandal?”

  “Ac
tually, they were all coming here anyway. You have a five a.m. exercise class to run, and if you can’t go to the fitness center, I figured the fitness center could come to you.”

  Understanding dawned, and she wrapped her arms around him. “I have the best, most loyal brother I could ever have asked for.”

  His lips curved first into a smile and then a cocky smirk. “I guess you raised me right, then.”

  She grinned in return. Somehow, more by accident, than any clue what she’d been doing, she had. And she had to believe her mother would have been proud of both of them.

  “So are we going to exercise or what?” the mayor demanded. “Because if we’re just going to stand around, I’m going over to the convenience store for a doughnut.”

  Becca looked out over the thirty-some people. She didn’t know whether to be more awed Toby had contacted them all for her or that they’d actually shown up to work out at the crack of dawn. “We’ll exercise first, Wilbur. Then you can get a doughnut. Does anyone have any music I can borrow?”

  Matt opened the door of his truck and cranked the stereo to full blast.

  “Perfect,” she approved. “Let’s start with a simplified sun salutation. Reach your hands to the sky, and then bend down and touch your toes.”

  She counted out a beat of ten and then straightened. The friends, neighbors and acquaintances in her yard lifted in unison. Jake steadied Mrs. Parker’s arm. Jenny ran across the lawn and picked up Zelda’s cane as she dropped it.

  “You actually enjoy making people bend over and touch their toes every day?” Toby asked. He didn’t join the group as they reached for the sky. Instead, he pulled out some cleaning supplies and started rubbing the offensive words off the back of her car.

  “Yeah, I do. A lot.” She transitioned her followers into some side stretches.

  “You know, I looked over the rowing machine in the fitness center, and it still works. You may have it for the rest of your life. I think it’s indestructible.”

  “Good to know I’ll always have one piece of equipment, no matter what,” she said, smiling as the yellow and orange polka dots on Wilbur’s shirt caught the sunrise and made tiny little suns dance across her vision.

  “Would you really rather do that than sit on a tropical beach somewhere?” Toby persisted.

  “I’d still love to visit a tropical beach, any beach for that matter.” For a few days, but then she’d want to come back to this. This was the daily routine she loved. She concentrated on motivating each member of the class to turn their warm-up into true calorie burning exercises. Twenty minutes later, the majority was tiring, so she closed out with some cool-down stretches. “And relax.”

  The words barely left her mouth before the crowd swarmed around her.

  “I hope you’ll rebuild the fitness center,” Harriet said.

  “Call me if you need a hand fixing your equipment,” the town mechanic shouted.

  “Let me know as soon as you’ve reopened. I want to buy a membership for my family,” a stay-at-home mom who always had a full cart of healthy groceries called out.

  “Stop in and see me when you have a chance, and we can talk about a business start-up loan,” the bank president said.

  A loan? She’d never considering borrowing money. In order to pay back a loan, she’d have to be completely committed to a long-term fitness career.

  Her mind whirled. She needed to sit and think, but people pressed in, offering words of support or asking personal fitness questions. She longed for a few minutes with only Connor’s presence to center her, but he was consumed with the responsibilities of his job too.

  At last, only a few people remained on the trampled grass, talking amongst themselves. Seizing her chance to regroup, she stepped toward the house.

  A hand settled on her shoulder before she could escape. “I owe you an apology,” Simon said.

  “Yes, you certainly do.” She met his gaze without flinching. She honestly didn’t care if she received that apology though. She didn’t work for him anymore. She’d moved beyond the narrow life where his approval mattered.

  He swallowed. “You have every right not to make this easy on me. You were a model employee for eleven years, and I should have given you the benefit of the doubt. Obviously, Nick’s been having a rough time lately. If you drop the charges against him, our family will pay for all the damage to the fitness center. I’ve already told Mrs. Parker we’ll pay for everything at the library.”

  Becca met Toby’s eye. “Nick didn’t damage the library alone. Toby played a part too.”

  “My family will pay for everything,” Simon insisted. “We want to make this right.”

  She couldn’t help being tempted by the offer to use his deep pockets, but she kept her gaze on Toby. “Our mother raised us to take responsibility for our actions. Toby will pay his own portion of the library damages.”

  Toby nodded once, with no argument, simply regret and determination to atone for his mistakes. “I’ll tell Mrs. Parker now.”

  Simon shook his head in amazement. “Don’t give your mother the credit. She’s not the one who’s been guiding him for the past eleven years. Nick had two parents at home the whole time, and look how he turned out.”

  “These boys aren’t even done with high school. They haven’t ‘turned out’ yet. They still have time to get their heads on straight,” Becca assured him.

  “I hope you’re right,” Simon said. “Listen, I know you’re all into this fitness stuff, but business success doesn’t happen overnight. Your job is waiting for you at the grocery store. I’d really like you to come back.”

  She missed the constant flow of townspeople and catching up with the events in their lives, but she didn’t miss keying in purchases and taking the brunt of frustrations over food quality or high prices. At least if people became frustrated in the fitness center, she had the ability to personally address the cause of their problems. “I’m not interested.”

  “Becca, the store needs you.” A hint of desperation crept into his voice. “Everyone is overworked. The customers are complaining because they have to stand in line for so long. I can’t call suppliers and check on deliveries or set up schedules because I’m constantly working damage control at the front of the store. I had no idea how much you actually handled on your own. No one knows the store and our system like you do.”

  She smiled, enjoying herself now. “Thanks for finally appreciating me, even if it came too late. When I have the fitness center fully operational, I’ll give grocery store employees a fifteen percent discount on memberships and classes. You sound like you need a good workout to de-stress.”

  Simon gaped. He obviously hadn’t expected her to decline. “You don’t have to come back full-time. Even part-time, thirty hours, twenty, even ten would help us out.”

  The store was an important part of the town, so she had to at least consider helping them out. She wasn’t just a citizen with one foot out the door anymore, but a business owner and permanent resident. She’d made a home where people trusted her word, helped her bounce back from adversity and supported her as a friend. “I’m going to be really busy in the next few weeks getting the center ready,” Becca said. “If my schedule slows down and you still need me, then I’ll consider it.”

  Simon might have fired her to begin with, but now she left on her terms. She thought she’d have to travel the world to liberate herself, but both freedom and her dreams had been right here in Kortville all along.

  …

  “The paperwork on these vandalism cases is going to be the death of me.” Connor pinched the bridge of his nose and leaned back in his desk chair, exhausted from the week of extra casework, driving to the VA office in Chicago for counseling sessions, and his normal duties. He still hadn’t done his afternoon rounds, and worst of all, he’d been putting off returning Becca’s calls because he had no idea what to say to her. He was more than a cop, more than a guilt-ridden ex-solider, but the exact substance of that “more” and if it amou
nted to anything worthwhile, he still hadn’t sorted out.

  “I hear you,” Larry agreed from across the room. “I sure don’t miss that part of being police chief.”

  “It’s what you want, though, isn’t it?” With the events of the past weeks, he barely remembered his concern over losing his job to Larry. He certainly hadn’t had time to worry about it.

  “You know, I went from one extreme to the other. I burned out as police chief, so I retired, but doing nothing bored me to death. I love patrolling and checking in on everyone. I live for the sense of community that comes from being so connected to the town. But Harriet and I like to hang out at flea markets and antique shows too. I’d have to give it up or scale back if I was a full-time chief. The truth is, I actually like being a deputy. I get to stay connected and protect the town and still have my freedom.”

  Connor considered him. If Larry could admit he didn’t want it all, Connor could be man enough to admit he couldn’t do it all. Becca had taught him that asking for help took more courage and strength than pretending he could handle everything on his own. “I need backup. I didn’t realize until you returned how much I appreciate having someone else to call on, whether I need to take off for a few hours or just bring in manpower for a big case.”

  “Kortville’s growing,” Larry noted. “Wilbur and I both agree if it’s big enough for a full-service fitness center, absorbing the cost of a part-time officer going forward will be no problem.”

  The fitness center. Becca. Connor closed his eyes. The community had responded with an outpouring of support over the damage she’d sustained, but with all the offers of help, she didn’t need him and he didn’t know where he fit into her plans. He did know that each session with the VA counselor left him feeling like an emotional train wreck. He wasn’t sure he’d ever get rid of enough baggage to feel worthy of her. But he’d started dreaming she could be his anyway.

  The station door jingled. He opened his eyes to find Becca standing in front of his desk. He wished they were back at her house with her unraveling the towel from around his waist. He’d relived that perfect morning so many times during the past week he couldn’t believe they’d only had one opportunity to be together.