Brightest

by Rochelle Allison

  Jude came out of the shower, still damp when he flopped down next to me. “Ahh, I remember that,” he chortled, pointing at a picture of Tommy and Miles with cake on their faces.

  “Is he really trying to grow locks now?” I asked, examining Miles’ hair in the picture.

  “He's been saying that for years,” said Jude. “But he always gets over it after a few months and shaves his head.”

  “He’s silly.” I resumed scrolling.

  “Always,” Jude said, tapping the screen after a moment. “That's a nice one.”

  I went back an image. It was me and Nora, building sand castles with the girls. Sydney was half in my lap, reaching to put a shell on top as a finishing touch.

  I grinned. That had been a great day. “I love that one.”

  “You’re good with the girls.”

  “They’re the best.”

  Jude kissed my neck, my ear. “I can see you with kids.”

  “One day. What about you?” I asked, cringing away from the shivery, tickly sensation of his mouth.

  He moved to the other side of my neck. “One day. I like kids.”

  “Me too.”

  “Maybe with you,” he said, toweling his hair lazily. “One day.”

  Wide open warmth bloomed inside of me. “Yeah?”

  “Mhm.” He went back to my neck, sucking on a spot, probably leaving hickies.

  “They’d be beautiful,” I whispered, melting, eyes closed.

  On the other side of the duplex, a wail went up. Silas. My eyes popped open.

  Jude paused, smiling against my skin. “But not for a while, just saying.”

  I pulled him down to kiss some more, imagining our playtime cut short by cute, but needy, babies. “Not for a long while.”

  ~

  I woke before my alarm on Monday, kissing Jude as I rolled out of bed.

  By the time he’d joined me in the kitchen for coffee, I was showered and dressed. And trying not to be an anxious mess.

  “It’s gonna be great,” he assured me, sleepy and warm and bed-tousled. I wished I could just creep back beneath the covers with him.

  “I know.” I nodded jerkily, spilling coffee on my shirt. “Shit!”

  Taking my coffee, Jude pushed me back to the bedroom. “I’ll make you more. Go change.”

  Rushing back to my room, I slid into option two, a sleeveless, blue blouse, and tossed the stained one into the sink. I wet it, hoping the stain wouldn’t set, and returned to Jude, who handed me a travel mug. “I’ll lock up when I leave,” he promised.

  “Okay.” Brushing my new, long, bangs from my face, I kissed him and headed out. My new island car was better than the one Theo and I’d shared, mostly because it looked half as shitty and ran twice as well. Wrenching the door open, I tossed my old backpack into the passenger seat and cranked the a/c. My hair was already frizzing, but that was nothing new. I’d been dealing with that my whole life back home.

  Traffic was mild—for me, anyway—and I got to UVI’s campus ten minutes sooner than I’d anticipated. Nora, Jude, and I had already walked around the day of orientation, so I found the marine biology department with ease. Inside, there were several familiar faces, including Bishop, a pale, bearded hipster-type from New Hampshire, and Cordelia, a dark-skinned girl from St. Thomas. She’d had her hair braided back into corn-rows last time we’d met, but today it was loose, a thick mass of tight curls.

  “Hi, Alina,” she said, smiling over Bishop’s shoulder. He tossed a glance back, arching a bushy eyebrow.

  “Hey, Cordelia. Bishop.” Waving, I joined them at the table, setting my bag down.

  “Hey, yourself,” said Bishop, tucking his hair back into a beanie. “I hear we might be going out to Salt River as early as tomorrow,”

  “For real? That would be great,” I said, genuinely glad to hear it. I was as nerdy as the best of ‘em, but nothing beat actual field work in the outdoors.

  “I told this one he’s gonna need to invest in sunblock,” cackled Cordelia, poking at Bishop’s already-pink arm.

  “Yeah, yeah.” He rolled his eyes. “Tell me something I don’t know.”

  I laughed, the knot of anxiety in my gut effectively loosened. So far, so good.

  ~

  We fell into our new way of things, me at school and Jude at work. There was some overlap when I had shifts at the restaurant, and I tried to hang out whenever I could, but gone were the easy, breezy days of summer. I didn’t mind. I missed Jude, and he made it clear he missed me, but I loved being back in the classroom…back in the field.

  Sometimes, if he was driving home late and I was doing homework, we talked on the phone. It reminded me of the old days, when we’d been apart. Thankfully nowadays he was a quick drive—and not a plane ride—away.

  “Did you call the cops?” I asked one evening, organizing the day’s notes while Jude told me about an almost-fight between tourists at the bar earlier. He was at his house and I was at mine, both exhausted after our respective long days.

  “Nah. Bodhi was around,” he finished, yawning into the phone. “He’s always got my back.”

  “Glad it didn’t go any further,” I said, catching the yawn. Putting down my pen, I stood and stretched.

  “No kidding. Last thing I need is some drunk fucks making a mess.” He paused. “Miss having you around, though.”

  “I know, me too. It might be like this for a while, though, at least until I can figure out my schedule.”

  “Is it more or less intense than your course load back in Miami?”

  “Mm, probably about the same.” I yawned again.

  “You sound sleepy…I’ll let you go.”

  “Aren’t you?”

  “Yeah.”

  “I love you, Jude.”

  “Love you, too.”

  ~

  Caroline flew in on a drizzly Saturday in early September. We were late, thanks to Jude’s last-minute decision to clean out the back room. Tidiness was cool, but his tardiness was not one of the things I found attractive about him.

  “Sorry, babes,” he said, looking appropriately sheepish as we barreled down the highway. “You know I’m on Cruzan time.”

  “I don’t want to hear it!” I snapped, checking my phone to make sure her flight wasn’t early. According to Skytracker.com Flight 376 was on “Cruzan time” too, but I wouldn’t be telling Jude that. “You are always late!”

  He sighed, slouching guiltily in his seat. We didn’t argue much, but when we did, it was usually about this.

  I pushed my hair into a messy bun. An abrupt wall of rain slammed into the windshield, lasting about two minutes before disappearing completely. And I’d thought Florida weather was nuts!

  As usual, things were bustling at the Henry E. Rohlsen airport. Jude dropped me at the curb before zooming off to find a parking spot. Sure enough, Caroline’s flight was late, so baggage claim was a total zoo by the time she met up with us.

  “Alina!” she cried, throwing herself at me.

  “You’re back,” I sang, inhaling her yummy hair conditioner as the wind blew her hair into my face.

  She looked good, if not a little skinny. I knew from experience that Caroline lost her appetite when stressed. Ugh, stupid Jeremiah. I hoped he stayed gone this time.

  Caroline squeezed the stuffing out of me. “I might not leave this time,” she said softly, smelling of rum.

  I stepped back, snorting. “Are you drunk, Caro?”

  “Just a little tipsy,” she said, wiping her eyes. “Just something to take the edge off. I’m on vacation, Alina.” She glanced at Jude, brightening. “Hey, bartender man.”

  “Hey, Caroline.” He hugged her, taking her carry-on. “You check any bags?”

  She smirked. “I’ll be here for two weeks. What do you think?”

  We headed over to the baggage carousel, which had just switched from one flight to another. Caroline’s bags were enormous. “Damn girl…you planning on moving in? I kinda miss being roommates.”

/>   “Hey,” she said, her eyes cutting over to Jude. “Don’t tempt me.”

  “I’ve never seen your hair this long,” I said, once we were in the car. It was nearly to her shoulders now, her tightly coiled curls healthy and shiny.

  “Yeah, I’ve been using new stuff.” She fluffed her hair. “Shit, it’s as humid here as it was back in Miami.”

  “No kidding,” I said, grinning at Jude. I’d been complaining to him about it all morning, so it was nice having a little back-up.

  Unlike last time Caroline had been on island, when everything had been new to her and even to me, she had opinions about where she wanted to go and what she wanted to do. “That beach you brought me to. And then the other one. With the jet-skis. And I wouldn’t mind a motorcycle tour. Preferably with one of Jude’s hot, single friends.”

  Barking out a laugh, I peeked at Jude, who looked back, mouthing, “Miles.” Indeed. Caroline was a beauty and that boy would be on her like white on rice the second he saw her.

  After dropping Caroline’s bags at the duplex, we headed over to Larsen’s for a late lunch. It seemed like Cruzans stayed indoors more than most during the rain, so the bar was quiet for a Saturday.

  “I remember you!” said Bodhi, pausing on his way back upstairs, apron half undone and hanging off as usual. “Miami Hurricanes, baby!

  Caroline wasn’t into football, but that hadn’t stopped Bodhi from grilling her during last year’s Thanksgiving dinner. “I remember you, too…Bodhi?”

  Bodhi winked. “You got it.”

  “Ayyy, the ladies are hungry,” Jude said, slipping behind the counter. “Any snapper left?”

  “At least two.” Bodhi saluted Jude and jogged upstairs, whistling a tune.

  Ivy cocked her head, smiling. “Welcome back, Caroline. What can I get you?”

  But Jude was on it. He opened a longneck fresh from the cooler, a sharp hiss piercing the air. “I’m thinking Caroline’s a Hammerhead girl for sure.”

  “Jude’s the beer-whisperer,” I teased, thinking back to how he’d guessed my type of brew soon after we met.

  Caroline moaned, swallowing down her beer. “Oh, that’s good. So good.”

  “The first of many, m’lady,” I whispered, hugging her from behind. “We have two whole weeks.”

  “Good.” She tilted her face to mine, and for a moment, I saw the sadness in her big, brown eyes. “Because I just want to forget about him.” Her voice broke, and she turned back to the bar.

  I’d never seen Caroline this vulnerable, this broken-hearted, and we’d seen each other through a lot. My heart hurt for her.

  Still, she was one of the strongest girls I knew. “You will.”

  ~

  Caroline was out by ten p.m.

  We’d spent hours at Larsen’s, migrating from the bar to the restaurant for dinner, and by the time we’d headed to my place, she was totally sloshed. After a quick shower she fell into bed, snoring before I made it to the bedroom door.

  Jude yawned as I walked out into the hall. “I'm gonna head home,” he said, running his fingers through his hair. “I know you guys have catching up to do.”

  “Maybe if she was awake,” I said, sighing. “I’m glad she’s resting, though. She’s going through it right now. And she works hard, you know?”

  “Sounds like someone I know.”

  “Yeah, but she hates her job.”

  “That sucks.”

  “She’ll be all right.” I smiled, closing my eyes as I leaned against the wall. “That’s why she’s here. To regroup.”

  “Well, I hope this vacation gives her what she needs.”

  “I hope so, too. She and that ass were on and off for so long I think she forgets what life’s like without him. She needs to like…detox.”

  Jude chuckled. “He’s that bad, huh?”

  “It’s hard watching people you love making the same bad decision over and over. My mom does that shit.” I shrugged, not in the mood for the dark feelings this conversation was starting to conjure.

  “I get that.” Jude reached over and tugged me close. “Sometimes you have to let people do what they’re going to do, though.”

  “I know.” I wrapped my arms around his neck. “I’ll understand if you want to go home. I’m about to fall asleep, myself.”

  He chuffed quietly into my hair, breath tickling me.

  I smiled into the curve of his neck, tempted to lick the salt off his skin. “What?”

  “Never thought I’d be one of these fools, but here I am.”

  “You’re gonna miss me tonight, huh?”

  “Yeah.”

  “We are those fools,” I agreed. “When did that happen?”

  He laughed lowly. “I don't know.”

  Rising to my tiptoes, I kissed him soundly, missing him before he was even gone. We stayed that way awhile, making out in the darkened hallway between my room and the living room.

  “Thanks for today,” I whispered.

  “It was my pleasure.”

  I slipped my hands up under his t-shirt so that I could feel the warmth of his skin. His sharp intake of breath told me he was just as affected by me as I was by him. “Love you, Jude.”

  “You trying to seduce me into staying?” he groaned. Poor guy was sporting a boner now.

  “Sorry,” I said, backing off. We walked to the front door, where he kissed me one last time before stepping into the cool, wet night.

  “Love you, too, eh?"

  My heartbeat followed his footsteps, wishing he was walking to me and not away.

  ~

  I awoke to Caroline's repentant face, crazy hair, and raccoon eyes; vestiges of her wildness the day before.

  “You hate me,” she croaked. “I’m that friend. The drunk, pathetic friend.”

  I grabbed my pillow from beneath my head and put it over my face, giggle-snorting at her melodrama. “Uh, pretty sure you’ve taken care of my drunk ass more than once. I love you."

  “That’s true. Like the time you and Theo went to that music festival in Tampa…”

  I let her ramble awhile, affectionately reacquainting myself with her voice, her face. Caroline was one of those people who didn’t need lots of makeup; she was just naturally put-together looking with her full lips, upturned eyes and high cheekbones. She was elegant even when she was hungover.

  “So, what’s with you and Jude? He didn’t stay?”

  “He wanted to give us some time. He’s opening today, anyway.”

  “Well that was sweet.” She flopped onto her belly. “He’s so fine, girl. You sure he doesn’t have any brothers?”

  “No brothers, but he does have some very cute friends.”

  “For real? Someone I didn’t meet last time?”

  I frowned, trying to remember who she’d met over Thanksgiving. “Not sure, but Jude knows, like, everyone on St. Croix.”

  Her expression turned sly. “How’s the lovin’ been?”

  I smashed her face with my pillow. “Nunya business.”

  “Don’t be a prude,” she said, muffled.

  “Fine. He’s a real stud between the sheets.”

  “Could life be any more perfect for you?” she asked, sighing loudly. “Makes me want to vomit on your nice, soft sheets.”

  “Life’s pretty sweet right now,” I agreed, sweeping my hair into a messy bun. “But it’s not perfect. School’s already starting to ramp up…I don’t get to see Jude as much as I’d like to. Not, like, quality time.”

  “That’s grad school, though,” said Caroline, wrenching the pillow away. “Last year was pretty much the same, wasn’t it?”

  I nodded. “I guess it just feels different now that I’m in a committed relationship.”

  “Ah.” She nodded. “You can’t just hole up in your room all the time, huh?”

  “I mean, sometimes I have to. I have shit to do.” I shrugged, eyes wandering to a picture of Jude stuck in my mirror. I’d taken it with Nora’s Polaroid in our backyard. “Anyway, I’m hungry. Yo
u want omelets or pancakes?"

  “Can’t I have both?”

  After a long, leisurely breakfast, I took Caroline to Shoy’s Beach, her favorite from last time. The sun was brilliant by eleven, with no sign of the previous day’s gloom. Sundays were always crowded, and today was no exception. We dodged mommy groups and tanning couples, finally finding a sweet spot on the far end of the beach.