Traces of Guilt

by Dee Henderson

  “You’re an odd man. See, I can do left-handed compliments too.”

  They both laughed, and he said, “Now that was comfortable,” and they laughed some more. After a moment, he added, “I’m a long ways toward being a settled man. I’m beginning to appreciate what that means. I think you don’t have many ‘settled things’ in your life yet, Evie. It sounds like Rob does, which is why you’re uncertain about what to do there. He’s got a life and a place for you in his world if you want that. You’re just not sure you do.

  “On my side of things, there are some similarities here in Carin,” he continued. “You’ve pretty much seen my life. You’ll eventually decide if you want something like this. I’ll stick as a friend, because I figure you need someone to ground you occasionally, same as Ann does. She sees a lot of herself in you. And I’m curious where you do end up one day.”

  “In case you’re wondering, I’m not going to marry Rob Turney,” she said, toying with her soup.

  “I know.” She glanced up, and he smiled. “Listen to yourself, Evie. You don’t want to marry anyone yet. You sure don’t want to think of being old and alone, but you’re not ready to attach yourself to someone, make the effort necessary to make it work. You like being single. Why not just accept that . . . at least for now?”

  “I’ve already told you I really don’t like going home to an empty house either, Gabe. Springfield is many things, but not much of me. I’m mostly the work I do.”

  He split his slice of bread in half, buttered it. “It’s a season in life. You’re proving yourself on the job, wanting to do the same with the task force. Ambition is fine. It doesn’t have to preclude a personal life. Look at Ann. She’s built a lot of friendships while being good at the job. She’s good at being married too. Open your eyes to what is around you as you work. You can box up the cases and move on, but there’s no reason you need to box up the people too.”

  “You wouldn’t mind if I stopped in to see the Thane family, particularly your mom, on occasion? Maybe even you?” She grinned.

  “Not at all.” He grinned back.

  She nodded thoughtfully. “I like you, Gabriel. Probably a lot. But you’ll understand if I say I don’t know what to do about that right now.”

  “Evie, that answer doesn’t surprise me a bit.”

  She nodded again and gathered up their empty bowls. “Trina makes good soup.”

  And thus endeth the conversation, he thought with a little smile at his formal wording. He didn’t mind. “You’d be smart to take Trina’s cookies with you for the drive home. No one does chocolate macadamia better.” He finished his bread. “When you pick up the dogs at Will’s on Sunday, give yourself an extra hour. The family is going to be out there helping him hang new drywall after church. Karen offered to put together lunch. You don’t want to miss that.”

  “Four sweaty guys with hammers? I definitely don’t want to miss it,” she joked. “What about the yellow shirts?”

  He gave her an amused smile. “Hopefully they’re deep-sixed.”

  “Oh, I’m keeping mine for next year,” she said, tipping her head to watch his reaction. He looked pleased. She had no idea where she would be next year, but she’d keep her options open.

  “Dad does the measuring,” he said, back to the remodeling discussion, “I handle the power saw. The hauling and hammering are for Josh and Will.”

  “Keeping Josh busy so he’s not pining for Grace and Angel?”

  “Something like that.”

  “I’ll leave time,” Evie promised.

  Gabriel accepted his coffee from the server with a thanks, cut into the omelet Karen had prepared. The Fast Café was busy this Saturday morning, but it was local folks, no reporters in sight. It felt normal, and that was a very good thing.

  His brother reached across for the pancake syrup. “The ground’s too muddy to get any useful searching done today,” Josh said. “I figure I’ll take the boat into the inlet, scope out the shoreline and those bluffs. After the rain and wind last night, there’s likely more washout. If there’s anything worth finding there, it may show up.”

  “Want company?” Will offered, working on his third waffle. It wasn’t often the three met for breakfast, but they had the routine down. The breakfast orders didn’t change, and the first one at the table put it in for all.

  “I could use another set or two of eyes,” Josh agreed. “I’ll be busy enough trying to keep the bottom of the boat from snaring on debris.”

  “We’ll all go,” Gabriel decided, “so we’ll only have to do this once. Between us maybe we get back out of that inlet in one piece. I remember strong currents, wicked underwater obstacles.”

  “We’ll take it slow, be thorough,” Josh said.

  Will picked up his orange juice. “I saw Evie on my way in—she’s at the post office.”

  Gabriel nodded. “She’s doing a final review of the Florist case, boxing up what’s on the wall.”

  “Karen wants to invite her to dinner tonight at my place, unless you’ve got an objection.”

  Gabriel wasn’t going to touch that one. “Invite away. I already mentioned Sunday at your place for a late lunch.” He shifted the conversation by pulling out his phone and passing it to Josh. “Grace’s daughter sent me her official portrait since I’m the sheriff and need good luck, she says.” She was wearing angel wings, a halo, and smiling just like one.

  Josh grinned. “That looks like our Angel.” He laid his own phone on the table. “Mine’s better.” Angel was wearing her cowboy outfit, chaps, pink boots and cowboy hat.

  “Yeah, that’s our girl.”

  Will nodded toward Josh’s phone. “Forward it, I’m feeling left out.”

  “I saw you showing Angel photos of your lambs and dogs, doing just fine making friends yourself. You were all she wanted to talk about when I was saying goodbye to Grace—she wants to visit ‘that brother with the baby lambs.’ As soon as she wears Grace down, she’ll be back for a visit.”

  Will smiled, finished his waffle. “I’m good with kids.” He glanced at the time. “What do you think, five hours on the water, give or take? I’ll tell Karen I’ll be back to pick her up at four.”

  “That’ll work.”

  Will nodded. “Give me a few minutes.” He took his coffee with him and sauntered through the employee door.

  “You can practically hear him making plans for them,” Josh remarked.

  “Will does go after what matters to him,” Gabriel agreed.

  “You think Tom Lander is going to be a concern around here?”

  Gabriel had been pondering it. “I think it’s time we hired someone of our own to watch what he’s doing, see if we can’t collect enough evidence to put him in jail for something. I’ll feel a lot better when he’s not walking around thinking he’s not got a care in the world.”

  Josh nodded. “Thought I might go put eyes on him while I’m visiting Grace in Chicago, just to get a firsthand look.”

  “Will’s probably thinking the same.” Gabriel had accepted the inevitable, knowing Will. “I’m thinking it would be a nice wedding present for Karen to have word that Tom Lander is no longer a concern. It would take a top-notch PI, but we can afford to pay a guy for a few months. I’m certain Paul knows the name of someone worth hiring.”

  “Arrange something,” Josh said. “I’ll help with the cost.”

  Gabriel nodded. “How are things with Grace?”

  “It’s in an odd place,” Josh replied, folding his napkin, then his hands. “She’s in too much inner turmoil to figure out how to handle even a friendship right now, so I’m just leaving the end of each conversation with a reason I’ll be in touch again. Angel helps. A more happy, normal, full-of-life kid I’ve never met. She likes me enough it makes it easy for me.”

  “Grace is doing a good job with her.”

  “The father isn’t around. Grace didn’t say more than that. Ann said the same.”

  “Grace has a lot of hurt to work through,” Gabri
el said, “all that’s been inflicted on her, and some she did to herself. And I see a woman who’s willing to deal with it. She has a daughter, she finds the courage to talk about the past with a doctor, she tells Ann, she comes back here. I’d say she’s determined to lay the past to rest, however that road has to be traveled.”

  “I’d say the same,” Josh said. “I still care about her, Gabe. More than I thought I would. Even crying all over me, she was at times the Grace I remember. You look at her daughter, and like I told Ann, it’s Grace without the shadows. She’ll be clear of this one day. I want to be there to see that. I want to find out what we might have then.”

  Gabriel smiled. “You’re a fortunate man, Josh. You have the time to put into what matters to you. That book you’ve been mentally writing, a friendship with Grace—they’re both mostly time and attention, and you’ve got the freedom to give both. I’d say enjoy it. You’ll be helping Grace, however that story turns out.”

  Josh looked at him a while. “Odd that you aren’t doing a little more considering yourself, Gabe.”

  He accepted the jab with good humor. “I see what’s in front of me, Josh. Green eyes and a nice smile and a good sense of humor and a curiosity I admire.” Gabriel could visualize Evie clearly enough as he described her. “You ever go chasing one of those birds you like to watch, know there’s no way you’re going to get that photo you’re looking for, so you just have to stop the chase and let it go?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Evie is like that. Try to catch her, she bangs her wings against your hands because she’s caught. I’m noticing that guy up north isn’t calling her this week, tagging her, checking in, and if that isn’t deliberate strategy on his part, I’ll eat my paycheck. He knows if he closes his hand on her, she’s gone. She’ll enjoy Christmas with him, clip her own wings, maybe let it go on with him a few more months because she wants to have it be a fit. Maybe it will be. But you won’t catch her by wanting it. Evie has to decide to land, and right now she’s mostly seeing how close the walls are getting, and taking off before they can shut her in.”

  “I’d say you’ve mostly got her figured out,” Josh kidded. “But let me ask this, would you like to be married to a cop?”

  Gabriel smiled. “Detective. There’s a difference. I imagine Paul looked at Ann, decided she was the one, and the rest he would work out. I sincerely doubt he’s ever regretted that decision. I like the person I see in Evie. But I’m not as flexible on the details. I was born here and I plan to die here. And I like being Carin’s sheriff.”

  Josh nodded. “You tell her about Elizabeth?”

  “I did.”

  “Okay.” Josh pushed back his plate. “Ann’s going to teach Evie to fly, not that that changes matters, but it’s going to put a thumb down on the geographical problem. A Christmas gift from Ann and Paul. You might be thinking something practical—or not so practical—to make a statement of your own.”

  “Already done,” Gabriel replied. The yellow convertible Evie had been driving around would title in his name and get parked in Will’s barn. It wasn’t worth much, given its accident history, but she liked the fun of it. She needed an excuse to come visit Marie and the rest of the Thanes, enjoy a drive. He’d give her that excuse by mailing her a set of car keys and an invitation to bring her dogs to visit their new buddies at Will’s.

  Will returned from the kitchen. Josh, eyebrows raised, gave him a long look. “You’ve got lipstick where a guy just looks funny wearing it.” Will rubbed the heel of his hand across his face as Josh laughed. “A good shade on you, though.”

  His brothers would rag on each other for the next hour if he didn’t divert matters. Gabriel paid for the meal and added a sizable tip. “Let’s go get a boat and get out on the water, guys.”

  The wind was stronger than Gabriel would like, but it was blowing them straight into the inlet. He looked back at Josh, efficiently controlling the shallow-bottom boat with the trolling motor. Too much debris below the surface made even thinking about using the more powerful engine impossible. “Watch that you don’t get pushed into either bank,” he called back. “Straight in, then straight back out. As slow as you can.”

  “Got it,” Josh called back.

  They’d have to do this strategically—it wasn’t worth trying to come back in with the dangerous mix of debris and current. “Will, the first pass, just look for whatever appears out of place. Think about those animal trails in the woods above here. If he was bringing a car through the woods to the lake to dump it, he had to maneuver all the way to the bluff. I’m thinking the center section of that shoreline”—Gabriel pointed—“is the only place it could have been done.”

  Will nodded. “See how that cliff face has been undercut,” he called, “and then it sheered off and dropped into the lake?” He too pointed. “Trees as well as a huge amount of dirt and rock have gone down with it. Whatever this inlet looked like when Grace’s parents disappeared, it wasn’t anything like what we now see.”

  Gabriel knew that was a big part of their challenge. “The inlet has been cutting further into the shore and woods with each passing year. So look down, as well as at the cliff face. If a car got sent over the cliff and buried under a falling slide behind it, it’s spent years being hammered by winds, water, and tides.”

  “It wouldn’t have been pulled into Carin Lake itself,” Josh said. “Feel those gusts? Everything flows into here, not out. Trees, debris, wind. Look at the erosion at the waterline. What was buried gets unburied over time. Graves do it on land, water will do the same.”

  Gabriel gave a nod. “I’ll take those field glasses, Will. My eyesight isn’t as good as yours.” His brother passed them over. “Take us in, Josh, as slow as you can while holding control.”

  They searched the inlet for over an hour, Josh moving them slowly into the narrowing channel, maneuvering across massive trees now underwater and showing only the tips of a branch or two above the surface.

  “I see something back there.” Will pointed. “Let me have the binoculars. There’s something there at the shoreline.”

  Gabriel passed them over. Will adjusted the magnification to his eyes, found the spot again. “Yeah. There’s something. Rust. I think it’s a rusty piece of metal. Josh, bring me in close so I can get to that fallen tree. I can pick my way along its trunk. A good third of it is still on land; it won’t shift under me.”

  Motor idling, Josh studied the log. “There’s got to be something better than you trying to climb your way in there,” he argued. “That dirt on the east side is fresh—you can see where part of the cliff face came down in the rain last night. The rest could slide down with only the wind triggering it.”

  “Do we, or do we not, need to know?” Will passed the binoculars back to Gabriel. “East side of the fallen oak, about two feet up on the bank.”

  Gabriel stared through the lenses. Dull. Square. Rusted. Not natural. The edges disappeared into the mud. He studied the fresh earth slide that was all too near that spot for his comfort, looked up the cliff face to where the dirt had dislodged. Maybe the rest would hold for now, but he wouldn’t want to bet it would stay in place with any further rain. “Josh, get us closer. Will, you get yourself soaked in water this cold, Mom’s going to have all our hides. Can we get to it from above?”

  “You mean slide down that crumbling slope on a couple of ropes? No, thank you. The whole face will go if you disturb the wrong spot.”

  Gabriel focused the binoculars on the hollowed-out earth under the cliff ledge, conceded Will’s point. No foundation, just air and a fifty-foot drop. Coming down from above wasn’t an option.

  Gabriel shook his head, blew out a long breath. “If he drove the car off the bluff above here, and half a ton of rock and dirt followed and dropped on the car, buried it whole, the lake has been washing away the layers of that grave for years. That rusty metal is what it might look like. Yeah, this could be it. I agree we need to know.”

  Will carefully stood up. “Go in sof
t, Josh, like you’re moving explosives. I don’t want you hitting that tree. Just come alongside it, let me reach over to it.”

  He stepped cleanly from the boat onto the log, and Gabriel echoed Josh’s relieved sigh. Josh backed them away from the tree while Will carefully made his way across the log to the shore and climbed up and over to what he’d seen.

  He knelt and used his gloved hands to push away more dirt. “Metal, all right,” he called. “Could be old sheet metal from a corn silo that’s forty-year-old junk, but I’m thinking roof of a car, maybe trunk. It’s got that original smooth finish under the rust.”

  He moved away, studying the landslide under his feet. “Look at the trees trying to grow out of this slide. We’re talking ten years or more since this area shifted. It’s being washed over when the inlet water rises, carved into, but the slide itself has been here a long while.” He pointed to the new earth from the recent rains. “That’s going to be growing a few new trees of its own soon, while this stretch gets buried again.”

  “What do you want to do?” Gabriel asked.

  “I want a shovel is what I want,” Will decided. “Go get me one.”

  “We’re not leaving you sitting there while we’re gone for an hour.”

  “You want answers?”

  “Will, come on. Think this through.”

  His brother studied the area, found a solid piece of driftwood. “I’ll improvise for twenty minutes, and then you’re going to go get me a shovel when this doesn’t work.”

  He started clearing, using the wood as a scraping tool. For ten minutes they watched him labor in the mud. When he stopped and leaned back on his heels, he pointed at the water. “I need a wave washing over this area. Use the paddles, see if you can’t kick up something.”