Lean on Me (The Mackay Sisters)

by Verdenius, Angela

  Minx’s purr was a balm to her troubled soul and she read into the afternoon, steadfastly trying to ignore the disturbing memories nagging in her conscious. Finally she fell asleep, her dreams as disturbed as her thoughts, a mix of Tommy’s angry face, Matt’s furious expression, hot, dark eyes and even hotter kisses.

  When she awoke, Minx lay quietly beside her and Lori came up on one elbow, squinting at the alarm clock on the bedside cupboard, surprised to see that it was four o’clock in the afternoon.

  Her head felt heavy, the memories of the day’s happenings flooding back, and she turned to Minx with a small, sad smile. “Thank God I have you, Minxie. What would I do without you? You’re the only one I can count on, aren’t you?” Reaching out, she stroked her gently between the ears. “Just you and me, Minx, against the world.”

  Minx remained quiet and that was when it dawned on Lori that something wasn’t right. Moving closer, he heart clenching, she looked down at the old ginger cat.

  Minx lay still, so very still. Curled up in a little ball, head tucked between her paws, she wasn’t breathing.

  Hands shaking, throat tight, Lori touched her. Her body was cool.

  “No,” she whispered. “Oh Minx, no.” Tears spilled out, sliding down her cheeks even as she curled her arm around the little cat’s body and cuddled up to her. “Oh, Minx. Oh, baby. No, Minx. No.”

  Heart breaking, Lori sobbed.

  Minx was gone.

  ~*~

  Seeing Tommy hug and kiss Lori in front of the café was like a knife going through Matt. Disbelief was followed by hurt when he saw Tommy standing at the window smiling sadly at Lori, and anger was fast following.

  Turning the car around, he’d driven straight home, his mind whirling. Why had she lied to him? She’d said there had been nothing between them, and then Tommy hugged and kissed her in public? What the hell..?

  By the time he gotten home, his head was thumping, his heart was heavy, and fury warred with hurt.

  What hurt the most was that Lori had lied to him. It was betrayal of the worst kind.

  When he’d seen her car in the driveway a couple of hours later, he’d stormed across to give her a few choice words, but it hadn’t stopped the hurt. She’d fired up, all indignant, which was hypocritical of her. Or so he’d thought at the time, his anger having swept away any common sense.

  The hurt and yes, the sense of loss. But now he’d had been home for several hours, time ticking by helping to uncloud his mind, and when he thought of how he’d treated her, shame trickled through him.

  Especially when those words came back to haunt him.

  “Believe me, even if I could, I wouldn’t. This isn’t your business, it’s no one’s business. It’s not even my damned business!”

  How could it not even be her business? Those words chased themselves around in his head, followed damningly by “But it’s not what it seems.”

  The longer he sat in the lounge nursing an unopened can of beer, the more things started to eat at him.

  Lori Winters wasn’t a liar. Something had happened between her and Tommy, however new it might be, and Matt had attacked her for it, something he should never have done. Hell, it wasn’t as if she was going out with Matt, they weren’t a couple, he’d never even hinted at his intentions towards her, so to go barrelling into her house with accusations, that had been a shitty thing to do.

  For whatever reason, Lori wasn’t revealing anything and he didn’t have any rights to demand an explanation. Just, when he’d seen her and Tommy, his heart had stuttered and…

  Rubbing his eyes, Matt grimaced. Goddamn, now he felt shitty. Everything was shitty - what he’d seen, his overreaction, his words, his actions.

  He’d even kissed her in anger, how much shittier could a man get? Force a kiss on a woman and then walk away.

  His mother hadn’t raised any quitters and she sure as hell hadn’t raised self-righteous pricks, either, and that’s exactly how he’d acted, like a man who was entitled to explanations and demanding them.

  He had to go and apologise. Whatever was going on between Tommy and Lori, it wasn’t his business, but his friendship with Lori had been marred, badly marred, and he wanted to fix it. Maybe he couldn’t have her as any more than a friend, but he’d take what he could get, platonic as it was apparently going to be.

  Feeling lower than a snake’s belly, Matt put the unopened beer back in the ‘fridge. Going outside, he noted how quiet the Mackay house was, no movement at the windows, no sound. Maybe she was out seeking solace with a friend.

  With Tommy?

  So what if she was? He’d just go and see her later, if she came back. Meanwhile, there was Ghost’s cats to feed.

  Even the mischievous antics of the cats couldn’t lift his mood and it was with a heavy heart that he locked the door and strode down the path. As he turned onto the street he glanced at the Mackay house, catching a glimpse of someone moving past the front bedroom window, a shadow behind the curtains.

  Lori was home.

  Not wanting to leave things so damaged between them, he went up her footpath and onto the veranda, pressing the doorbell and stepping back to wait.

  When she didn’t answer, he pressed the bell again. He heard movement in the house but when she still didn’t respond, he knocked loudly. No way was he going home without apologising.

  Still no answer. But he knew she was home.

  Jumping the side fence into his own yard, he hurried down to the backyard and then simply hauled himself over the fence into the Mackay backyard. Turning, he saw her.

  Lori was standing on the back veranda, her arms folded, her head bent.

  “Lori?” He started towards her.

  She started, her head lifting, but when she began to back away, he lengthened his stride. “Lori, wait.”

  Partially turned away, she muttered, “What?”

  Stopping at the foot of the steps leading up to the veranda, he said softly, “I’m sorry, love.”

  She shrugged.

  “No, really. It was a shitty thing for me to do. You’re right, I don’t have any right to interfere or question you.”

  “It’s okay.” Her reply was muffled. Hoarse.

  Matt frowned, concern creeping through him. “Lori?”

  “It’s okay.” Turning around, she started for the back door. “Goodnight, Matt.”

  Only it wasn’t okay, he could hear the thickness of tears in her voice.

  Christ, she was crying. Because of him? Because of what he’d said and done to her? That felt like a claw ripping right through his gut.

  Jumping up onto the veranda, he reached for her, his hand on her shoulder stopping her. “Lori, please, don’t cry. I’m so sorry, so very sorry. Please don’t cry.”

  She shook her head.

  “Oh Christ, Lori, I didn’t-”

  “It’s not you.” She wiped her cheek. “It’s not you, okay?”

  It wasn’t? He stared down at her. If it wasn’t what he’d said, then what was it? Moving around, he stopped in front of her. “What’s the matter?”

  Again she shook her head but he couldn’t miss the sudden jerk of her shoulders. Something had happened, something that had shaken her badly.

  Instantly protective, he reached out to lay a finger under her chin, lifting it gently. “Talk to me, love. What’s the problem?”

  She looked up at him and he was struck immediately by the tears glittering in her eyes, her wet cheeks, the total misery and loss that filled her expression.

  “Oh, Lori. Come here.” In one movement he slid his arm around her, pulling her in close to him, worry biting at him. “Is it Ali? Ghost?”

  “No,” she gasped, “it’s Minx.” And then she burst into tears.

  Instantly, he knew what had happened. It wasn’t hard. Minx was old, very old, and if she’d been alive then Lori would have been at the vet’s with her, not at home crying. “Oh, love, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

  Lori just sobbed.

  Tuc
king her head under his chin, Matt held her close, one hand on her back, the other smoothing down the tumble of brown, glossy hair that spilled over her shoulders. “It’s okay, love,” he crooned softly. “I’m here, baby. Lean on me. I’m right here.”

  He didn’t know how long they stood out there, the breeze cool around them, the sun shining in the sky, the world still turning as Lori sobbed in his arms, her own personal world shattered.

  All he knew, all he was certain of, was that he was so glad he was there for her. The thought of her being alone when her beloved cat had died was heart-wrenching.

  He didn’t know how long it was before her sobs quietened but when the storm of tears had passed, he continued to hold her until she finally stirred in his arms, and then he only loosened his hold on her enough for her to pull back a little. One of her hands was still clenched in his shirt, the other wiping at her tear-drenched cheeks.

  “I’m sorry,” she said, a catch still in her voice, tears not far away.

  “No need,” he replied softly, raising his hand to cup her cheek, running his thumb along the damp skin to catch the last of the tears.

  “I just…Minx…” Tears were close to the surface.

  Prepared to continue soothing her, Matt waited.

  She just shook her head and looked away.

  He continued to wait, his hand still stroking through her hair comfortingly. In a move that touched him, she laid her cheek against his chest and just stood, leaning against him, shivering slightly.

  Minutes ticked past and Matt would have gladly stayed there with her in his arms except he felt the shiver go through her as the air grew a little chillier. “Come on, love. Let’s go inside.”

  When she would have retreated, he simply kept his arm around her back, drawing her into his side as he turned them both and crossed to the door, opening it and letting her through first.

  She stood in the kitchen, lost, and he steered her over to the table, sitting her down. “I think you could do with something hot to drink.”

  “I’ll be fine.” She looked up at him. “I have to bury…” A sob escaped and she clapped a hand over her mouth to silence it.

  Squatting before her, Matt brushed the hair back from her cheeks, his hands on her arms as he waited patiently while she closed her eyes, battling the sobs that again fought to be free. Finally she opened her eyes, removing her hand from her mouth to take a deep, though somewhat shaky, breathe. “I have to bury Minx.”

  “I can do it.”

  “No, I’m her mum.”

  Understanding her completely, he didn’t laugh at her words. “Then we’ll bury her together.”

  Tears filled her eyes but she nodded, unconsciously gripping his hand.

  Turning his hand over, he entwined their fingers. “Where is Minx now?”

  “On my - on my bed.”

  “Just like always, huh?”

  A watery smile curved her lips as she nodded.

  “Then let’s go get her.”

  Keeping hold of her hand, he walked beside her through the kitchen, down the hallway and into the bedroom.

  He spotted Minx immediately, the little ginger cat curled up on the bed where she’d fallen asleep and slipped away quietly. Crossing to the side of the bed with Lori by his side, he kept hold of her with one hand while reaching out to gently stroke the little cat on the bed.

  “Hi, old girl,” he said softly. “Decided it was time to go home, hey?”

  Lori’s hand squeezed his tightly.

  “You had a good life,” he continued softly. “It was just your time, wasn’t it?” He gave her another couple of strokes, feeling the sadness steel through him, knowing that he wouldn’t see her standing beside Lori out in the backyard anymore, or sitting with her little face turned up to the sun, enjoying the warmth.

  Straightening, he turned his head and leaned down to brush a kiss across Lori’s forehead. “Are you ready for this?”

  “No,” she whispered.

  “We can wait a bit longer.”

  “It’s already been an hour.” She sniffed, a tear welling up to spill down her cheeks. “Waiting isn’t going to make it easier, is it?”

  He wasn’t going to lie to her. Meeting her gaze steadily, he replied softly, “No, it isn’t.”

  “Okay.” Nodding, she tugged her hand free. “I’ll get her little blanket. I want her…” She choked, looked away. “To be warm.” When she looked back at him, it was with a mixture of sadness and defiance.

  He knew she was waiting for him to tell her that Minx wouldn’t feel the cold, that she didn’t need a blanket. That he might even ridicule her a little, but no way in the world would he have done that to anyone. “Good idea.”

  She glanced away and bit her lip, hands twisting briefly before she started across the room.

  “Lori.” When she stopped and looked at him, he said quietly, “I’ll fix her resting spot. Do you have one in mind?”

  For a second he thought she was going to burst into tears again, but instead she nodded and went back out to the kitchen. He followed her into the backyard and down to the garden.

  “Here.” Lori pointed to a bare patch in the garden. “This is where Minx liked to sit and sunbake. She should…”

  “Rest here,” he finished when she obviously couldn’t, laying a hand on her shoulder. “I’ll get a shovel, you do what you have to do.”

  Leaving her alone while he dug the little grave was hard, but he knew she needed time with her old cat, time to come to terms with the loss, with the burial ahead, time to say goodbye.

  The little grave didn’t take long to dig. When he finished he looked up to see Lori coming down the veranda steps with a neatly wrapped blanket in her arms. From the size of it, he knew Minx was inside it.

  The pain in Lori’s eyes was very real as he reached out to tuck a lock of her hair behind her ear, smoothing it back as he looked soberly down at her. When she nodded, he held out his hands.

  For several seconds she hesitated, and then she gave the blanket bundle one last hug before handing Minx over to him, silent tears once more spilling free.

  Kneeling on the ground, Matt laid the little bundle in the grave, straightening once more to check on Lori. She was crying silently, wiping her eyes, and he wasn’t sure if he should fill in the grave just yet or not.

  Moving to her side, he slid one arm around her shoulders and tugged her close against him. “Do you want to go inside?”

  “No.” She choked. “She deserves to have me here.”

  “That’s fine,” he soothed. After several minutes of just holding her, he asked softly, “Are you ready?”

  “Yes.”

  Filling in a little grave wasn’t easy, the earth slowly covering the beloved pet wrapped in its little blanket until nothing was left to sight but a small mound of dirt.

  “The earth will settle,” Matt said. “It’ll sink a little and then I can put the rest of it back on top.”

  Lips trembling, eyes full of tears, Lori nodded.

  Setting the shovel aside, he moved up to her, wrapping his arm around her shoulders and drawing her into him. “It’s okay to cry, love, she was part of your family.”

  They stood there for a long time, Lori leaning against Matt with her head tucked under his chin while he supported her willingly, his arms cradling her close, comforting her.

  The chill of evening finally had him leading her indoors, settling her in the lounge while he heated the kettle and poured both of them a mug of hot tea. Returning to the lounge, he sat down beside her on the sofa, handing her one of the mugs.

  “Thank you.” Taking the mug, she cradled it in her hands. “For everything.”

  “No worries.” Leaning back on the sofa, he took a sip of the tea.

  “After everything…” She tried again. “I’m sorry about this afternoon.”

  He regarded her steadily. “I’m sorry, too.”

  Biting her lip, she looked down at the mug in her hands. “You can go home if you want,
I’ll be fine.”

  “Do you want me to go?”

  The thick black eyelashes lifted to reveal her sad eyes. “No.”

  “Then enough said.” He lifted one arm. “Come here.”

  Without a murmur she slid over the sofa to him, fitting so perfectly under his arm as he cradled her against his side.

  ~*~

  When Lori woke up during the night, she was aware of several things. One, she was fully clothed and lying on her bed. Two, there was a big, warm body at her back and a muscular arm over her waist.

  As she lifted her head, the arm at her waist tightened, pulling her back against Matt’s body, and she stiffened slightly before remembering.

  Minx was gone. Tears filled her eyes once more but she bit them back.

  Now she remembered everything, falling asleep on the sofa, Matt waking her and kindly leading her to her bedroom. She’d lain down on the bed and without a word spoken she’d shifted over to make room for him. Without hesitation Matt had lain down beside her, gathering her into his embrace, tucking her head under his chin.

  Knowing she couldn’t face the night alone, he’d stayed with her. Not one word did she need to speak, he’d somehow just known.

  That was in itself a comfort.

  But Minx was gone. The little cat she’d had for twenty years had passed away, and that was going to take some getting used to.

  The tears spilled over her cheeks.

  Almost as if he’d heard her, the bed shifted as Matt came up on one elbow, his voice sleepy. “Lori?”

  “I’m fine.”

  His arm at her waist shifted, his hand smoothing along her hip. “Are you sure?”

  “Yes.”

  He was silent for a minute before he laid down again, fitting himself tight against her so that she felt very hard, muscular swell of his body, his breath stirring her hair at her temple as he pressed a soft kiss to her cheek before settling down once more, his chest pressing comfortingly against her back with every breath he took.

  It lulled her back to sleep.

  When she awoke in the early morning, all was quiet. A light blanket had been draped across her, and she pushed it back as she sat up slowly. Matt was gone.