NIGHT WIND'S WOMAN
Page 17
"She met with Jason," Tom said. "But it didn't go well. Jason didn't even look at Brianna. He isn't the least bit interested in being that baby's father."
"What?" Shane's head reeled with sadness, confusion, a rush of guilt-ridden relief. "I don't understand."
"Jason asked Kelly to lunch so he could present her with a document outlining a financial settlement. He's willing to pay for 'his mistake' as he put it, but that's as far as he'll go." Tom leaned against the counter. "I got the impression from Kelly that Jason was acting on the advice of some high-profile attorney, offering a settlement so he didn't get slapped with a paternity suit."
The sadness in Shane's chest grew deeper. An ache for Brianna. Could the baby feel her father's rejection? "Kelly doesn't want the money. She never did. All she ever wanted was for Jason to care about his daughter."
When Shane's statement drifted too close to home, they both fell silent. Tom pulled a hand through his hair, and Shane studied his dad. Suddenly he saw reflections of himself, features he had never noticed before, little things – the arch of their eyebrows, length of their fingers, shape of their nails. Similarities that reminded him of the physical traits Brianna must have inherited from Jason.
"Shane?"
Realizing he still clutched their dinner plates, he set them on the table, his hands as unsteady as his heartbeat. "Yeah?"
"I know why you let Kelly go, why you encouraged her to give Jason a chance."
"That doesn't matter—"
"Yes, it does," Tom interrupted, his voice edged with shame. "It's because you didn't want Brianna to feel the pain of being shut out of her father's life. You didn't want her to suffer the way you had."
The tightness in his chest intensified. The ball of emotional confusion. "This isn't your fault, Dad. I've forgiven you for the past. We've both worked through that."
Tom's eyes turned a paler shade of blue. "But it still affects your life. Your decisions." He paused and let out a breath, the pork chops sizzling on the stove beside him. "Kelly loves you, son. Loves you with everything she's got."
Shane's unsteady heartbeat quickened. "Did she say that?"
Tom shook his head. "No, but she didn't have to."
No, but she didn't have to. Hours later Shane sat on the edge of his bed and picked up the phone, his father's words echoing in his mind. Dialing the number the information operator had given him, he waited for the other party to answer.
When a man came on the line, Shane squared his shoulders, knowing his first encounter with Jason Collier had just begun.
* * *
Two days later Kelly sat across from her mother at their dining-room table, toying with her breakfast. She appreciated her mom's effort, the perfectly round stack of golden pancakes, but she didn't have much of an appetite. The single daisy on the table was a thoughtful touch, too, but it only reminded her of Shane and the wildflowers he'd picked in the rain. She missed him desperately, and the reminder hurt.
"Eat up, sweetie, or you'll be late."
Kelly sighed. She had never been late for work a day in her life. "All right." She cut into her pancakes and took a small bite, wondering if the ache deep inside her would ever go away.
Most people had weekends off, but Kelly worked them now. Evenings, too. It was the only schedule that fit into her current lifestyle. Neither she nor her mom could bear to have a stranger watch Brianna, so Kelly worked the opposite hours of her mother, leaving Linda free to baby-sit.
"I'm proud of you," Linda said. "You did the right thing with Jason."
She met her mother's gaze. "Thank you, that means a lot to me." Telling Jason to go to hell had been easy. She didn't want his "I'll-pay-for-my-mistake" money. She would provide for Brianna on her own. She would love and nourish her child. They wouldn't be rich, but they wouldn't be poor, either. Kelly would work extra hours to make holidays and birthdays special. And her mom would always be there, helping out. Like today. Fixing breakfast, baby-sitting Brianna and offering to drive Kelly to work since her own car was in the shop.
Linda lifted her tea. "I'm sorry he hurt you."
Kelly adjusted her napkin. "What I felt for Jason was just an infatuation. It's Brianna I'm worried about. She deserves better."
"Sweetie, I was talking about Shane."
Kelly caught her breath. How many years would pass before she stopped wondering where he was or what he was doing? "I'm okay, Mom. I'll survive." Because she had to. Because she had a baby to raise. A precious little girl with Kelly's fair skin, Jason's clear blue eyes and Shane Night Wind's heartwarming smile.
* * *
Shane entered the restaurant and took in his surroundings. He had never been to a country chub before, but he thought the place was appealing in an austere, refined kind of way. He also knew that he didn't fit in, not with his rugged denim clothes and Western boots. But then he had agreed to meet Jason Collier on the other man's turf.
As the hostess led him to the back of the restaurant, he noticed several big picture windows overlooked acres of green. Golf. A sport Shane knew nothing about. He was definitely out of his element. A tall, broad-shouldered Comanche wearing plaid and putting after some little ball didn't quite cut it.
When the hostess directed him to his table, Shane came face-to-face with his opponent. Jason met his gaze, then stood and extended his hand. Proper, Shane thought. And wary. They were both wary.
He sat across from the other man and noticed the color of his eyes. Bright blue, like Brianna's.
"So you're from Texas," Jason said, his manners slipping as soon as the hostess was out of earshot. "The big, strong cowboy-type."
"Sorry," Shane corrected, the mockery setting him on edge. "I'm more the big, strong Indian-type. Comanche. We're a warring tribe."
Jason leaned back casually, but Shane knew he hadn't missed the warning. Suddenly, scalping the other man seemed like a damn good idea. Jason's light brown hair was styled with a bit too much mousse for Shane's tastes.
"Hmm." Jason studied his manicured hands, then looked up. "Now I'm not so sure you're on the level. Maybe Kelly sent you to kick my butt. Or up the ante."
"Kelly doesn't know I'm here. And your money has nothing to do with why I came."
The waitress interrupted with two tall glasses of water, a slice of lemon floating in each. Jason flashed a charming smile and ordered lunch, and when the waitress sent Jason an admiring look in return, Shane figured that practiced smile had fooled Kelly, too. She was too sweet, too trusting.
Shane declined to order, and the smitten waitress departed. "Okay, so you're on the level," Jason said, resuming their conversation.
"That's right. I want to adopt your daughter. And marry Kelly, if she'll have me."
"Fine." Jason reached into his pocket, removed a business card and handed it to Shane. "That's my attorney's number. You can work out the details with him. He'll be more than glad to accommodate you."
Stunned, Shane stared at the card. That was it? "Don't you even want to know anything about me? Aren't you curious about what I do for a living? If I go to church? Pay my taxes? Don't you care about what kind of husband or father I'll make?"
The other man raised an eyebrow. "Not particularly, no. If you want Kelly, you can have her. The kid, too."
A muscle twitched in Shane's cheek. He could feel it ticking like a bomb. Telling himself to relax, he took a deep breath. "Look, you're only twenty-four years old. Someday when you're older, you might wonder about your daughter. I'll understand if you want to keep in touch, if—"
"I'm twenty-five. And kids don't interest me."
Cocky bastard, Shane thought, wishing he saw just a flicker of emotion in those icy blue eyes. Brianna deserved more. Much more. "Then just listen, okay? I'll be the best parent I can be, but I won't lie to Brianna about who her biological father is. For the rest of your life, you need to remember that there's a little girl out there who carries your genes, and someday she might come looking for you." Leaning across the table, he drilled th
e other man with his gaze. "And if she ever does, you sure as hell better be good to her."
With that said, he pushed away his chair and stood. As he made his way to the door, the waitress passed him with Jason Corner's lunch. Shane nodded to the girl, then pocketed the attorney's card without looking back.
* * *
Tired and glad her workday was about to end, Kelly stood in the check stand, ringing groceries for a familiar customer. She knew most of the people who shopped at the market, and they, of course, knew her. Not personally, but enough to chat and smile. Unfortunately chaffing and smiling took energy, and today hers was nearly sapped.
Glancing up to ask the last customer in line to pull the gate, an adrenaline rush hit her like a fist. Her knees threatened to give way, and the cereal box in her hand stumbled over the scanner, missing its mark.
A tall, dark-skinned man holding a blond, pink-cheeked baby waited at the end of the line.
Shane and Brianna.
She didn't have to look twice. He stood quietly, his shirtsleeves shoved to his elbows, Brianna snug against his body, the side of her face peeking out of the cloth carrier.
He made eye contact, then smiled. Kelly wasn't sure if he had the right to smile at her, but her knees reacted again, buckling a little. Rather than meet that masculine smile, she pulled the cereal box across the scanner and reached for the last few items. Her current customer dug through an oversize purse and presented a small stack of coupons. She took them, hands shaking, heart bumping.
Why was he here? How could he rip her emotions to shreds, then walk into her place of employment a week later looking gorgeous and fit?
Kelly focused on her job. Drawing strength from the adrenaline pouring through her system, she made it through the next order, then found her voice and politely asked Shane to pull the gate. He latched it behind him, his gaze searching hers.
"I stopped by your house, and your mom told me you needed a ride home," he said when they stood face-to-face.
He flew in from Texas to drive her home? "My car's in the shop," she answered, unsure of what to do with her quaking hands.
Reacting to Kelly's voice, Brianna turned her head. Shane lifted the child from the carrier and held her up. "There's your mommy, Sunshine."
A smile brightened the baby's face, and Kelly's heart melted. She reached out to touch her daughter's cheek, and as she did, the proximity of Shane's body shifted the building, tilting her world. The one she had been living in without him.
"Why are you here?" she asked.
"To talk. Can we go someplace more private?"
He cradled Brianna, his hands gentle against the baby. They looked good together, she thought. The tall, powerful man and the bright-eyed little girl. Brianna seemed happy to be with him, content in his arms, blowing bubbles and gurgling.
"I can't leave just yet," Kelly answered finally. "I still have to run a tape on my till."
"Okay. We'll wait over there."
He nodded toward the gumball machines and smiled. A shyer smile this time, one that said he was a little unsure of himself, possibly nervous about their talk. His sudden vulnerability eased her quaking hands, and she began to cash-out her drawer on steadier ground.
Fifteen minutes later they headed out to Shane's rental car and strapped Brianna into the baby seat. Kelly sat beside Shane and faced the window, unsure of her emotions. Hurt, anger, anxiety, hope … she didn't know which one took precedence.
"I noticed a park on the way over," he said. "Can we go there? It's not as hot as it was earlier."
"That's fine." The muggy day had turned pheasant, the stifling heat dissolving into a soft breeze. "When did you get here?"
"This morning."
They drove in silence the rest of the way. An awkward kind of quiet, Kelly thought. When they reached the park, she expelled a sigh of relief. She needed air. Lots of it.
They claimed a shady spot beneath a tree. Shane removed a baby blanket from the diaper bag, spread it on a soft bed of grass and placed Brianna on it. She took to the outdoors immediately and closed her eyes, her tiny fingers curling.
Shane sat directly on the lawn and drew his knees up, his jeans a fluid line of blue against long, muscular legs. Kelly lowered herself to the ground, suddenly wishing she wore something prettier. Her work shirt wasn't the most flattering garment.
"I'm sorry," he said. "So sorry I hurt you."
Her emotions struggled to sort themselves out. She wanted to touch him, make sure he was real. "I can't believe you're here."
He released a heavy breath. "I saw Jason this afternoon."
Stunned, she sat staring at him. "What? Why?"
"To talk to him about Brianna. And you." Shane met her gaze, his eyes sending off sparks of gold. "I didn't like him, Kelly. I wanted to kick his teeth in, but another side of me said 'This is the man who fathered Brianna and he deserves a chance to redeem himself.'"
The park and everything in it blurred. Tears, an oceanful, rushed her eyes. "And did he?"
"No." Shane shook his head and cast a gentle glance at the baby. "But I told him not to forget that he had a daughter, that she might seek him out someday." He fisted a handful of grass. "And if that happens, and Jason doesn't treat her right … I swear, I'll kill him."
The conviction in his voice had her catching her breath. "Did you tell him that, too?"
The corners of his lips tilted. "More or less. I figured he had it coming."
She wanted to kiss that smile – that warm, sexy mouth. "Thank you." He had come a long way to champion for a child. "You really are a friend."
He moved closer. "I hope I'm more than that."
Her heart pounded against her breast. "You said you weren't."
"I was wrong." He released the torn grass, and it fluttered back to the ground. "I'm the guy who loves you. Who wants to marry you and adopt your daughter."
A knot formed in Kelly's throat. The tears fogging her vision fell, and the woman inside her battled for control. No matter how long she had waited to hear those words, she couldn't accept his proposal. Not when she knew who Shane really wanted. She couldn't hear to be a substitute for Tam, nor could she allow Brianna to hive in Evan's shadow.
"I don't think it's that simple," she said, hating the part of her that couldn't cheat, couldn't accept only half his love.
Shane glanced up at the tree, his pulse a quick, jittery ache. He could feel his heart teetering on a live wire. One push, one off balance step, one devastating answer and it would fall. Crash to the earth and die.
He brought his gaze to Kelly's, questioning hers. "You don't want me?"
She closed her eyes, then opened them, her fairy-dust freckles swimming in tears. He wanted to take her in his arms, hold what he had lost. But instead he looked over at Brianna, at her perfectly formed hands, the tiny body heaving with each sleeping breath. Her hair could have been a halo, he thought, a shimmer of golden light.
"I want you," Kelly said. "But I wish I didn't."
"Why?" He prayed he wouldn't lose his strength, wouldn't emasculate himself with tears a Comanche man wasn't supposed to cry. Kelly had a right to shed her emotions that way, but he didn't. "Please tell me why."
"Because I need to be your future, all of it, not just half." Confused, he searched his mind to absorb her meaning. The sixth-sense he so often relied on had abandoned him. She talked in riddles, and his heart hurt. He wanted to marry her, love her for the rest of his days. Wasn't that the future? "I don't understand."
She rubbed at her face, pushing away tears. "I don't want to be a substitute for Tami."
"So that's it." Shane bit back a smile. He saw jealousy in her eyes, and God forgive him, he found pleasure in it. He had meant to clear the air about Tami, but Kelly's reaction to his proposal had jumbled his thoughts. "I called Tami before I came here. We talked for a long time. I told her about you and Brianna."
She gulped a breath, and Shane let himself smile. She looked like a teary-eyed waif. A sprite little butterf
ly. A beautiful urchin with wings. How could she doubt that he loved her?
"You talked to your ex-wife about me?"
"I had to. I needed the past to be over." And he needed to know that Evan was happy and well. "What Tami and I had was youth. There was no maturity in our love. It's different with you." He lifted her chin, refusing to lose her, to let her flutter those delicate wings and disappear. "What I feel for you is real. I'm not a boy anymore. I understand my heart." And he wanted to give it to her, have her tuck it away for all time.
Kelly blinked. Happily stunned, he hoped. She leaned into him, a dizzy sort of glow on her face. "If you love me, why did you send me away?"
He inhaled the clean, summer fragrance she wore, the mist of watermelon that bathed her skin. "I sent you away because I thought I had no claim on your daughter. I thought I didn't deserve her because my blood doesn't run in her veins." He took Kelly's hands and held them. "And I was afraid Jason would lure you away, that your tie to him was stronger than what you felt for me."
"You were wrong. It's you I love." Her head found his shoulder, her body curling into his. "And now my daughter belongs to you, too."
Should he let himself cry? God only knew he wanted to. He stroked Kelly's hair and watched the baby sheep. His woman. His child. Magic and sunshine. "I kept battling with myself over Brianna. I wanted her to be mine. There were so many moments I forgot she wasn't."
Kelly pulled back to look at him, touch his cheek with a gentle hand. "You haven't mentioned Evan, Shane. Did you talk to Tami about visiting him?"
"No." There would always be a part of him that missed the little boy, but he knew Evan didn't need him. "Evan has a father. A good one from what Tami says. Too much time has passed. Me coming into his life would only confuse him. It wouldn't be fair."