“But I’m a carrier, and they all know it. They think I’m weak. They won’t want me to order them around, especially after watching my father and my brother knock me around.”
“They might not be happy about it, but once you’re their alpha and you have the council’s support, they won’t have a say in it. We won’t throw you into the middle of the band with no help, Josiah. If you accept, you will have a council team with you. They will be there to protect you and to make sure the coyotes stay in line. As long as you need them, as long as you don’t have control over the band, they will be there for you. And the reason for that is that the council wants a carrier alpha.”
Josiah wrinkled his nose. “There’s never been a carrier alpha. I know Chris is supposed to be one, but his father isn’t about to die or to step down. It’ll be a while before he has to step up.”
“You’re right. There’s never been a carrier alpha. That’s why we want you to be the first one. If we had other options, we wouldn’t ask you to do this. I personally think that you’ve already been through too much and that you should say no. But the council wants to take a step further now that we have the majority. We want you to be the first carrier alpha in the forest, and we’ll support you in that.” Julian paused. “There’s also the council member thing.”
“Jacqueline is the coyote council member.”
“Because your father nominated her. But if you become the alpha, you can nominate a new council member. That would give our majority even more weight. That’s what we need now that we have humans looking at everything we do.”
Josiah tightened the blankets around his shoulders. “So basically, if I say no, we’re all fucked.”
Julian could help but smile. “I wouldn’t have said it like that, but it’s a possibility. If you say no, I’m pretty sure that Jacqueline will push for her son to become the alpha. Since there is no one else, I doubt the band will say no or ask for someone else. That means that Jacqueline and her son will have control of the band, and while they won’t have the majority on the council, she will still be a council member, and she’ll make our life as hard as possible at every turn. Besides, the human team won’t be happy if her son becomes the alpha. They want peace in the forest, just like us, and since they’re sticking around, they’ll be able to see that’s not what we’ll get with Jacqueline and her son.”
“So I have to say yes.”
Julian shook his head. “You don’t. It would be the best outcome, but we won’t force you. If you say no, then it’s a no, and we’ll never talk about it again. I promise. I represent you on the council, and I’ll make sure that your rights and your will are respected. That’s why I accepted this job.”
Josiah cocked his head. “You didn’t want it, though.”
“I didn’t. I thought that I would finally be able to live my life the way I wanted it. I was finally free.”
“Yet you said yes.”
“I felt it was my responsibility. I might not be over the moon happy about it, but it’s the best thing for all of us. I represent the carriers, which means that I can protect you and everyone else. It might not be the life I expected for myself or the one I dreamed of, but it’s a life I’m proud of. It’s not an easy job, but someone has to do it, and since all of you had so much faith in me, I couldn’t say no.”
Josiah rubbed his face. “I’ll think about it. That’s all I can promise. I understand where you’re coming from and what problems I’ll create if I say no, but I can’t say yes, not right now. I need to think hard about this. You know how abused I was, and I’m afraid that going back will push back my recovery. I’m fine physically, but not mentally, and I’m not sure I would be a good alpha. I don’t want to say yes just because you expect and need me to. If I do agree, I want to be a better alpha than my father and my brother were. Since I can’t promise that, I don’t want to say yes.”
He was taking this much more seriously than Julian had expected, and Julian was relieved. “Of course.” He rose from his chair. “I’m afraid I can’t give you more than a few days to think about it. Luther, the human leader, wants to meet you, and while he hasn’t been pushing, it won’t last forever. We really need to know what the next step will be and to plan accordingly.”
“I’ll let you know. I can’t promise anything more.”
Julian supposed it was better than nothing.
* * * *
Kaspar was nervous, even though he shouldn’t be. He already knew Morris wouldn’t have a problem with him staying with the cete. This wasn’t even necessary. He probably could have stayed with the cete without talking with Morris, but he felt he owed it to the alpha to tell him to his face that he wasn’t coming back.
Which was why he was nervous. No matter how Morris reacted, he was still Kaspar’s alpha. It was always slightly intimidating to talk to him.
“Do you want anything to drink?” Morris asked.
“No, thank you.” It was strange to be back in sleuth territory. Kaspar had been allowed to move back and forth between the sleuth and the cete for a few weeks now, but he hadn’t yet used that opportunity. He hadn’t wanted to leave Julian and the other carriers alone, even though he didn’t have to go through other territories. The cete and the sleuth bordered each other, and with the alliances between the two, Kaspar was still home.
But he hadn’t been here in weeks. It didn’t feel like his home anymore, and he wasn’t quite sure why. He wasn’t sure it mattered, either.
“What can I do for you?” Morris asked as he sat behind his desk. “Are you coming home?”
Kaspar sucked on his lower lip. “I’d like to stay with the cete.”
Morris barely blinked. “I’m not surprised.”
“You’re not?”
Morris arched a brow. “If I expected you to come home, I would have mentioned something sooner. I was surprised to see you here today.”
“I wanted to talk to you.”
“That much is obvious. Just like it’s obvious there’s something between you and Julian and that he’s the main reason you want to stay with the cete.”
Kaspar wasn’t ashamed to be so easily readable. “He’s not the only reason, but you’re right, he is the main one.” Kaspar licked his lips. He wasn’t used to talking about feelings, be it with Morris or anyone. The only person he did that with was Julian, and their relationship was still recent. Kaspar was used to keeping what he felt to himself, but right now, it looked like Morris wanted to know what was going on. “Julian and I are in love. We’re together.”
Morris beamed. “I’m happy for you both.”
Kaspar had to ask. “Even though both of us are carriers?”
Morris leaned back in his chair and looked at Kaspar steadily. It made Kaspar want to wiggle, but he forced himself to stay as still as possible as he stared back at Morris.
“You already know some people are going to have a problem with your relationship,” Morris said.
“I’m aware of that.” Kaspar didn’t care. Whoever thought that didn’t matter to him.
“That said, I honestly don’t give a shit. I want you to be happy, and if Julian makes that happen, that’s more than good enough for me. I have never sold or bought a carrier, and I never planned to do it. It was never fair to keep you prisoner, and I’m glad that you’re now free to be with whoever you want. The fact that both you and Julian are carriers doesn’t matter. You’re both human beings and men. That is what matters to me.”
Kaspar had expected that answer, too, but he couldn’t deny he was relieved at hearing the words coming out of Morris’s lips. “Thank you.”
“I want you to know that you’re always welcome to visit or even to move back. I’m glad you found a family, though. I know your relationship with your parents has always been a little tense, and I’m sure that my behavior had a role in that. But I was trying to protect you. I wouldn’t have kept you isolated otherwise. I realize now that it probably wasn’t the best way to
go about things, and I apologize.”
Kaspar’s eyes widened, and he shook his head. “I already know that, and you had no fault in this. It’s true that my parents have always been a bit distant, but it was more because I’m a carrier than because of what you did. Just like you said, you kept me safe, and that’s all that matters. I’m grateful for everything you did for me.”
Morris smiled. “Don’t start feeling guilty for leaving us behind. You’re living your life, which is what we wanted when we decided to vote in carrier laws.”
“It’s just strange. The sleuth was my home and my family for twenty-five years. Then I moved in with the cete, and suddenly, my life was flipped upside down. Sometimes, it’s hard to wrap my mind around it.”
“A lot of things have changed lately. It looks to me like you’re doing just fine, though. You have a boyfriend and a new home. I know you’re close to most of the carriers who share the Bishop House with you. You should be proud of yourself.”
“For what? I haven’t done anything but hide.”
“If I know you, Kaspar—and I like to think I do—you’ve done a lot more. Don’t tell me you haven’t been there for the other carriers. You’re only twenty-five, but you’re one of the oldest ones, right?”
“The third oldest now that Julian lives with us and Philip is leaving.” It had been weird in the beginning, but Kaspar had gotten used to his role as a big brother of sorts.
“You’ve always been a caretaker, and I’m sure you take care of the carriers who need you. You found your place in life, and I’m happy for you. I’m happy to see that what we’re working so hard for is bearing fruit.”
Kaspar could never thank Morris and the other council members enough for the way they’d been fighting for the carriers. They had risked a lot, and Thomas had lost his house. But that hadn’t stopped them. Kaspar felt like he owed it to them to live his life to the fullest now that he could.
He got to his feet. “That is all I had to tell you. I wanted to thank you for the opportunities you gave me, and the way you kept me safe. I feel guilty for leaving you and the sleuth behind.”
“Don’t be. You have nothing to feel guilty for.”
Kaspar was starting to realize that.
He didn’t know what the future held for him and Julian, but he did know they would be together, and that was all that mattered right now. He knew eventually he and Julian would have to find a house and that he would have to get a job. That would be tricky, since even though carriers were now free people and had the same rights as everyone else in the forest, it would take some time for people to get used to having them out in the open and trusting them. A lot of shifters might be in support of the carriers’ laws, but even so, it was ingrained in them to see carriers as weaker and merely baby-makers. It wasn’t offending to Kaspar, but it wouldn’t help him find a job when he looked for one.
But that was a problem for another day. Right now, he had to head home. Home, where Julian was waiting for him. Home, something he’d never thought he’d have, not the way he did now.
Chapter Seven
Julian was stunned that Josiah had agreed to meet with the human team. He was surprised Josiah had agreed to leave the Bishop House, period. He was proud of Josiah, but he did wish this didn’t have to happen.
Josiah hadn’t been away from the Bishop House since he’d been brought there after being found in coyote territory. He’d been in bad shape, and while he’d healed physically, mentally, things hadn’t changed. He was obviously terrified, even though he was doing his best to keep his chin high and look everyone in the eye. Jacqueline, the coyote council member, wasn’t helping. She’d insisted on being here since she was a coyote shifter and their council member to boot, but Julian wished he could tell her to fuck off, and he wasn’t one for swearing usually. That was how much she got on his nerves right now.
“The band hasn’t approved this,” Jacqueline said.
Julian didn’t glare at her, but it was a close thing. “The band doesn’t have to approve the human team meeting with anyone.”
She glared at him so hard that he almost expected his hair to catch fire. She crossed her arms over her chest. “I won’t take orders from him. I don’t care whose son he is. He’s a carrier.” She put so much disgust and hate in the word that Julian didn’t have to ask to know what she thought about carriers.
That probably included him. He didn’t care. She could insult him as much as she wanted, as long as she left Josiah alone.
“So?” Kaspar asked. He was present because Josiah had wanted him there, and Julian was glad. It was slightly easier to face all these people with Kaspar behind him.
“Carriers cannot become alphas,” Jacqueline answered. “It’s obvious. There’s a reason why our past two alphas did what they did to this—this—”
“Will you shut up?” Josiah snapped.
Julian blinked at him. He hadn’t expected that, and he couldn’t help but smile.
“My father and my brother were alphas before me, and the position has always been in my family. I’m the only logical choice,” Josiah said. He looked Jacqueline in the eyes. “So yes, I may be the next alpha, and if you don’t plan to obey my orders, then the only solution I’ll have will be to kick you out of the band. Is that what you want, Jacqueline? Because it wouldn’t be a problem for me.”
Jacqueline’s cheeks flushed, and she looked away. It looked like Josiah had managed to shut her up, which was a small miracle in itself. When she started bitching, she never seemed to stop. The problem was that whatever she was bitching about was usually something everyone else agreed on, like having a carrier becoming alpha. She wasn’t a good person, and she’d shown it once again.
Julian and Kaspar exchanged a satisfied glance. Jacqueline wasn’t totally tamed by any means, but for the time being, she was silent, and that was a good thing. Still, Julian needed to keep an eye on her, or maybe ask someone else to do it, since he had no idea where to start when it came to that kind of thing. He didn’t doubt that Jacqueline would try something to get the upper hand again. She and her friends had the minority of the council, which meant they’d lost a lot of power. If Josiah became the next coyote alpha, she would lose even more. Even though Josiah and Julian hadn’t talked about it in detail, Julian hoped that if Josiah became the alpha, he would ask Jacqueline to step down as a council member and nominate a new one. Choosing someone else would be hard, considering the options they would have, but at this point, Julian thought that anyone would be better than Jacqueline.
So yes, she would try something. From the way she behaved, he suspected she might attempt to contact Luther and tell him something was happening. Maybe Julian had too much faith in Luther, but it seemed to him that the human leader was a good person. A lot of people would have pushed for the coyotes to choose an alpha right now, without caring about who the alpha would be or how they would lead. They wouldn’t have given them time to choose the right person and to make sure that the coyotes would be okay.
Some days Julian felt like the coyotes didn’t deserve any of this, but they were still shifters. He could understand why they had never done anything to help Josiah. He’d seen the same thing happen with the weasels when he’d lived with them, and that was the main reason he wasn’t planning to go back. Of course, Josiah hadn’t spent almost thirty years of his life alone in the forest. Their situation wasn’t the same, and Julian wanted him to heal sooner than he had.
There was a knock on the door, and Julian was relieved. He could see that Jacqueline wasn’t done fighting, but he’d had enough of her for today. He was here for Josiah, and she was making it hard to focus on him.
A guard opened the door, and the human team walked in. Julian kept an eye on Jacqueline, and he didn’t miss the way she looked at every single member as if trying to read them. That was probably exactly what she was doing. She wanted to know who was comfortable being in a room full of shifters and who wasn’t. That would tell her
exactly who might be susceptible to whatever she had to say. Luther certainly wasn’t, but while he was the team leader, it didn’t mean the others didn’t have any influence on him. Things were getting complicated, and Julian wasn’t sure what to do about it.
“Good morning,” Luther said as he settled into one of the chairs on the other side of the long table. His gaze stopped on Josiah, and his eyebrows slightly rose on his forehead. “You’re new,” he said.
Julian blinked. There was no hostility in Luther’s tone, thank God, but there was something else, and he couldn’t quite put his finger on what it was.
Josiah’s cheeks pinked. “I am. Do you know why you’re here?”
This was surprising, too. Luther didn’t seem offended that Josiah was talking to him that way, though. He chuckled. “I know.” He looked at Julian and Calder. “You told me you wanted me to speak with the possible coyote alpha?”
Julian put a hand on Josiah’s shoulder. “This is Josiah. His father and brother were alphas before him. We’re trying to convince him to take their place now that they’re gone.”
Luther’s gaze jumped from Josiah to Kaspar, who was standing behind him, but he didn’t ask who Kaspar was. Apparently, he was only interested in Josiah. “So you’re a coyote shifter.”
“I am.” There was pain in that statement, even though Luther might not understand why. Julian squeezed Josiah’s shoulder, silently telling him that he was there for him. Josiah swallowed, then said, “Julian asked me if I would consider being the next alpha.”
Luther leaned back in his chair. “And will you?”
In Spite of Everything Page 9