by Red Phoenix
Her father would close the curtains while Brie got the projector ready and her mother made a bowl of popcorn. Brie called her clips “My Hilarious Life” as a joke, since living in Nebraska was anything but hilarious—being the snooze-fest that it was.
However, each week, along with the clips of her parents moving through their daily routines, she captured something simple and unique that other people often missed: a lone dandelion blowing in the wind in the middle of an abandoned parking lot; an adorable colony of prairie dogs popping their heads in and out of their holes; a hawk circling in the sky making its lonely call; or a determined ant on the ground dragging its impossibly large piece of food back to its colony.
Brie found that hidden beauty existed all around her whenever she looked through the lens of her camera. That was the magic of film for her—the ability to expose rare beauty in the ordinary.
By making weekly films, Brie caught those silly moments when her parents’ guards were down. There were even times when she caught raw emotion like the time she filmed her father answering the phone. The look on his face when he got the news that his grandmother had died in a car accident was something she would never forget. It was horrible, but that moment showed a side of her father that Brie had never seen. She replayed it in private, mourning along with the devastated little boy revealed in his face.
Brie believed there were times her movies made reality even more real. It was a gift, this ability to show a different perspective of the world and be able to share it with others.
On her sixteenth birthday, she wrote in her diary in the style of Scarlett O’Hara:
As God is my witness, I will become a filmmaker…
She had kept that promise to herself, knowing her father would consider it an impractical profession with an uncertain future. To prove that she had a true gift that needed his financial support, she continued to make her weekly films well into high school, even recruiting friends to play out her first attempts at movies. It was her hope that her father would agree this was what she was meant to do and allow her go to college to follow that dream.
Yes, Nebraska turned out to be a huge blessing to her…
Brie sighed in contentment remembering those days and finally drifted back to sleep again beside Sir.
“Where are you going?”
Brie pretended not to hear Darius as she picked up her pace, her fear making it hard for her to breathe. She’d hoped after the needle incident he would leave her alone, but the tone in his voice let her know that it had only made things worse.
Head down, keep walking, she told herself.
She heard his shoes on the gravel as he ran up behind her. Brie had learned in the past not to run from Darius. It only made things worse for her when she did. Fighting that natural instinct, she continued to walk, knowing he was catching up.
Brie was surprised he did not have his usual entourage with him. Was it possible they had abandoned him after they were sent to the principal’s office a few days ago?
She desperately hoped so. Maybe she could take him on in a one-on-one fight.
Brie cried out when he grabbed her by the shoulder, spinning her around to face him. “I asked you a question, girl.”
She slowly dragged her gaze up to look him in the eyes, taking note of the position of his crotch. She planned to kick hard and run fast, but she knew she only had one chance, and she would pay dearly if she missed.
Darius grabbed her chin and forced her to look up at him. “Well…?” His eyes held a dangerous look, one she hadn’t seen before, and her stomach twisted in fear.
His smile was cruel, his white teeth gleaming against the darkness of his skin. Brie suddenly realized that his entourage had actually been a blessing for her. Even though they held her down, at least they were witnesses. Without an audience acting as a deterrent, who knew what he was capable of?
Brie glanced around, realizing they were alone here. Anything could happen here…
Darius grabbed her wrist and twisted it, forcing her to her knees.
“No…” she cried out piteously.
He frowned. “No?” Twisting a little harder, he made her cry out again. It was obvious he was enjoying his power over her, so she clamped her mouth shut, not wanting to give it to him.
Glancing around desperately, Brie prayed for rescue.
Darius’s eyes became dark with rage. “You snitch. You got me in trouble with my old man.”
He twisted her arm again, bringing tears to her eyes, but she remained silent.
“And I hate my old man,” he growled, spitting in her face.
Brie looked down at the ground, wiping her face with her free hand.
Without warning, he slammed his fist into her chest, causing her to fall violently onto her back.
Her chest exploded in pain and she gasped, struggling to catch her breath. He straddled her, holding her wrists down.
“You know the only thing that got me through the beating?”
Brie stared at him, saying nothing.
His smile spread as his eyes flashed with dangerous excitement. “I imagined how I would make you pay.”
Brie felt a cold chill, wondering what terrible thing he had in mind as punishment.
He released one of her wrists and wrapped his hand around her throat, squeezing slowly. Brie struggled under him, the blood pounding in her head as her body fought for oxygen.
He let go and laughed when she coughed, desperately gasping for air.
Before she could regain her breath, he wrapped his hand around her neck again, choking her harder. Her eyes grew wide and she saw flashes of light in her peripheral vision. Her body instinctually thrashed, trying to break his hold.
Darius released her before the darkness closed in.
Brie sucked in the air she needed and began coughing violently. Darius only stared at her, no sympathy in his eyes.
Was he planning to kill her?
A force she never knew existed boiled up inside her and suddenly erupted. With an angry howl, she bucked her hips, and he was momentarily thrown off balance. She struggled to get out from under him, growling like a demonic animal.
But Darius was far stronger and wrestled her back down, both hands around her neck this time. The smirk on his face as the darkness closed in around her terrified her. Brie gave a strangled cry, the blood pounding in her skull.
Darius laughed when he finally loosened his grip. “I like seeing your eyes bug out like that.”
He looked her over with a cold gaze when she grabbed her throat, coughing uncontrollably. His eyes landed on her open shirt, several buttons having broken off in the life-and-death struggle.
She felt a new level of terror when his expression changed.
Darius took hold of her wrists against, pushing them painfully to the ground as he got uncomfortably close to her face. “I want you to do something for me.”
Brie shook her head.
His cruel smile returned. “Show me your titties.”
She shook her head more violently.
“Yes…” He released her arms again, resting his full weight on her pelvis as he stared at her chest. “Unbutton your shirt and show them to me.”
Again, she shook her head, her bottom lip trembling.
“Show me,” he demanded.
Brie was only twelve, her chest still flat like a boy’s. There was nothing for him to see, but she couldn’t bear being exposed to him like that.
His eyes flashed with malicious anger. “Do it.”
Brie looked around, hoping against hope that someone would walk by and save her.
Darius only chuckled. “It’s just you and me…Brianna Bennett.”
Brie couldn’t bring herself to do it even though she knew he would hurt her if she did not. After several moments of waiting, he smiled strangely at her.
She hoped he was having a change of heart, but those hopes died when he wrapped his hands around her throat again.
Brie whimpered as he squeezed even
tighter. Her body, having experienced it before, went straight into panic mode. No matter how desperately she clawed at his hands, she could not break his hold. This time, he did not stop—he squeezed until the twinkling lights in her head faded to black and she lost consciousness.
The return was frightening and confusing. She first became aware of a lone dog barking somewhere far off. Her vision seemed blurred—seeing but not seeing—and she found every breath painful. It took several minutes before her brain could process as she slowly came back to reality.
The dark form in front of her slowly crystallized into Darius. He was still straddling her with that smirk on his lips. “Welcome back.”
Brie swallowed hard, the pain in her throat causing her to wince.
“You know what I want.”
Rescue wasn’t coming. She was completely on her own, and she wanted to live. With shaking hands, she fumbled at the remaining buttons, but her fingers refused to cooperate. Darius appeared to take pleasure in watching her struggle and made no move to help her.
Brie closed her eyes, tears falling, the humiliation she felt threatened to swallow her whole as the first button finally gave and she went to unbutton the next…
She dropped her hands in shame and defeat when she was done.
A cold breeze swirled around her skin when he pulled the material of her shirt away, and a sob escaped her lips.
“Don’t make a sound,” he warned her. A chill like ice coursed through her veins when he touched her. He said nothing as his hands ran over her flat breasts and the tiny buds of her nipples.
Brie kept swallowing hard, her eyes closed tightly, trying to keep herself from sobbing. She was completely unprepared when she felt his lips on hers.
Brie shook her head violently, breaking the kiss.
He grabbed her chin, holding her still as he did it again. It felt so wrong, like eating poison, and she suddenly felt sick.
Her body froze when she felt one of his hands move lower.
“No,” she begged.
His hand did not hesitate as it slipped under the material of her jeans. Her whole body became cold as a terrifying numbness took over.
No…
Bile rose up her tender throat and she started thrashing as she began making retching noises, Darius jumped off her just in time to avoid being covered in her vomit. She rolled over, getting on her hands and knees as she threw up violently, her body expelling the contents of her stomach.
When it was over, she looked up and saw that Darius had fled. Wiping her mouth, she sat on her heels and tried to button up her shirt, but her hands wouldn’t stop shaking. She closed up her shirt, hugging herself as she sat there.
The dog continued to bark in the distance.
Daddy…
Why had no one come?
Brie closed her eyes and the tears fell as she began sobbing uncontrollably. She sat there in the dirt for what felt like hours.
Alone.
It felt surreal when she finally buttoned her shirt back up, stood up on shaking legs, and began the long walk home, avoiding people at all costs. Everything around her was the same. Same streets, same houses, nothing had changed—but everything had changed for her.
Brie stumbled into the house. Her mother was singing to the song “Don’t Worry, Be Happy,” a Bobby McFerrin favorite, as she prepared the night’s dinner in the kitchen.
“Brie, is that you?” she called out.
Not wanting to face her, Brie answered in a hoarse voice. “I’m going upstairs to study.”
Her mother popped her head out of the kitchen. “You’re late. I was starting to get worried.”
Brie was barely holding on by a thread emotionally. She couldn’t face her mom—not now. Holding out her backpack to hide behind it, she said, “Gotta head upstairs…” Brie bolted up the stairs, but her mother called from the bottom step.
“Brie, what happened to you? You’re cover in dirt from head to toe.”
“It’s nothing, Mom,” she insisted, trying to move up the stairs faster.
“Stop right there, young lady.”
Brie stopped on the last step, her heart beating out of her chest, wishing the earth would open up and swallow her.
Knowing her shirt was missing several buttons, and uncertain what her face looked like, Brie couldn’t chance turning around to face her. There would be no getting out of this if she did.
“Walk back down here this instant, young lady…”
The terror she felt in the dream woke Brie straight out of her nightmare, and she screamed in the dark. Sir reached out to her, his touch in her current state causing her to scream even louder.
Sir enveloped Brie in his arms, holding her tightly and refusing to let go until she quieted against him. “Darius,” he stated rather than asked.
Oh God…how did he know with such certainty? There was no way he would let this go.
“Talk to me, Brie,” Sir insisted in a low, comforting tone.
She had no choice. They had promised to be open with each other about everything. But this…this memory was a long-buried secret she had never wanted to share.
He rolled her over to face him. “Brie.”
She couldn’t look at him when she finally found the courage to speak. “Hearing about Darius today sparked a memory.”
“Of his bullying?”
“Yes…”
“And something more?”
She cuddled against him, needing his physical reassurance.
“You’re shaking, Brie.” Sir pressed her against him, tucking the blanket around her.
Even though the memory filled her with a deep sense of shame, she finally voiced the secret only she and Darius knew. “He was mad at me for tattling about him stabbing me with the needle…”
“What did he do?” Sir asked, a hint of anger coloring his voice.
Brie found it difficult to speak. “Darius cornered me alone and…choked me.”
Sir waited, brushing his hand against her cheek.
“He made me take off my shirt…” she said, a sob escaping her lips. “He did it to humiliate me, but then he touched and kissed me.”
“And you were how old?” he asked, his voice strained.
“Twelve.”
Brie could feel the heat of his rage building. The anger in his voice was barely contained. “Did he do anything else?”
“He tried to force his hand between my legs, but I threw up.”
“Thank God for that,” Sir said, gathering her into his arms. He buried his face in her hair and shook his head, saying nothing.
Sir’s response surprised Brie. She felt no condemnation, no shame in his arms.
Needing him to know the whole story, she continued. “I headed home afterward because I knew my mom would be worried. Before she was out of the kitchen, I ran up the stairs to hide in my room. Mom tried to stop me, but I was too ashamed and afraid to face her. Thank goodness, too. I ended up having to wear a scarf for weeks to cover up the marks he left on my throat. It was embarrassing because my mom told everyone that I was going through a fashion phase, and she was so proud of my new look. She never knew what happened.”
Sir growled under his breath.
“Looking back now, I realize I should have told her. By saying nothing, it’s almost as if I was protecting Darius. My silence made it seem like what happened was okay, but I was just a little kid, and it was so weird what he did. I couldn’t really understand what had happened, and I was deathly afraid of him.”
Sir squeezed her tighter. “No fault lies with you, babygirl.”
Brie braved a look up, gazing into his eyes. “Do you know what eats at my heart?”
“What?”
“I left. We moved out a short time later. Without me there, he moved on to someone else. Because I said nothing…” Her throat closed up, and she had to force the words out. “…some other little girl became my replacement.”
Brie buried her head against him and cried.
Sir let her
release her pent-up tears but, when she began to quiet again, he lifted her chin, looking at her in the darkness. “Stop holding that little girl hostage for something that should not have been expected of her.”
“But—”
“It really is no different than the guilt I carried because I decided not to tell my father about my mother’s infidelity when I was a kid. We were young and innocent—the consequences do not lie on our shoulders.”
Brie was struck by how sad it was that Sir had blamed himself for his father’s death. It made her weepy to think of that young man grieving the loss of his father, believing he was partly to blame for it.
Brie caressed his jaw, speaking to the little boy he once was. “It was not your fault.”
“And it was not yours,” he replied.
Brie nodded. Although she would still worry about those Darius had hurt after she’d left, the little girl Brie had once been deserved her empathy.
“You might find it helpful if you told your parents what really happened.”
“No,” Brie said resolutely. “My dad never forgave himself for Darius stabbing me with the dirty needle even though he sacrificed everything to get me out of there. He would feel responsible for this, and he shouldn’t have to. My parents saved my life, getting me far away from there. I honestly don’t know how long I would have lasted.” She smiled sadly at Sir. “It’s the reason I never complained about living in a shelter with my mom. I knew I was much better off.”
“It’s a testament to your strength—the fact he wasn’t able to crush your sweet spirit,” Sir told her, his voice tinged with pain.
Brie thought back to that first day of submissive training. “If Baron hadn’t been so gentle and understanding during the practicum, I would never have made it through the first night.”
“I was confident he was the right man to guide you through the scene, but I had no idea of the severity of your past.”
“No one knew…until now.”
He took her face in both hands, pressing his forehead against hers. “May the voicing of it bring you much deserved peace, my love.”
Tears came to her eyes. “Thank you, Sir.”
They stayed in that embrace, Brie soaking in the relief of not having to bear that terrible secret in silence any longer. “Sir, I don’t know what to do about Darius now.”