By Any Means

by Kurt Ellis

  It was late on a Saturday afternoon and they were in Backstage, a small poolroom-cum-shebeen located behind the Zoom nightclub. The afternoon matinee crowd was made up mostly of high-schoolers and teenagers. In a few hours, these teenagers would catch the last of the taxis to go home and the twenty-somethings with their own cars would start filtering into the club.

  The air at Backstage was heavy with the scent of tobacco, beer and cologne. Music from the nightclub could be heard in the room, but it was soft enough for them to talk in their normal voices.

  Captain straightened from bending over and prowled around the pool table to line up his next shot. “So how are things with you and Amia?”

  Kyle smiled. “I think things are great.”

  “That’s good.” Captain dropped the black ball. “And that’s the game. Well played.”

  They dropped the cues on the table and walked over to the corner, where Bruge, Lester, Wahied and German sat drinking from a crate of beers. Captain took one of the opened brown bottles and took a gulp. He burped, then took another, smaller sip.

  Kyle looked around the room and turned to Lester. “Where’s Jimmy?”

  “He met up with a bru of his. They went to swaai in the jol.”

  Their chatter was raucous. Laughter and teasing was flowing freely, but even though Kyle joined in the conversation, his mind was elsewhere. His mind was with her. His mind was always with her.

  Slowly the group had grown in size as more Godfathers and friends joined. Wahied turned to Kyle. “What kind, Kyle? So I’m hearing you off to Joburg soon, outie.”

  Kyle nodded. “Ja, playing a match up there for some scouts. It’s going to be hectic, bru. I’m as nervous as hell. I’ll be leaving in a week or two.”

  “Lukka. But don’t be nervous,” said Spider. “You’ll be aight. Good luck, bru. Make it happen for the bruinous. Fuck Bennie, Kyle is in the eighteen area.”

  “Yeah,” German chipped in. “And don’t forget the brus when you make it. Hook us up some tickets and shit.”

  Kyle smiled. “Imagine you guys in the director’s box. Sitting on beer crates and smoking zol. You’ll be making the people nervous.”

  They laughed.

  Jimmy came in and squeezed a seat for himself between Kyle and Captain. Soon, more beers arrived and Jimmy reached out to take one.

  Captain looked at him sternly. “And what do you think you’re doing?”

  Jimmy smiled. “I was only gonna open it for you.” He handed the bottle to Captain, who smiled in acceptance, took a large gulp and passed it on.

  “So …” Jimmy started, and then went silent.

  “So … what?” Captain replied.

  “This year is nearly over, and I … er … turned sixteen four months ago.”

  “Okay?” Captain responded, looking puzzled.

  “You said at the beginning of the year that when I was sixteen I could get the chuppie. That you’d open the books and I could become a Godfather.”

  Kyle looked at Captain in dismay.

  “Did I?” Captain replied softly.

  “Yes, you did.”

  Captain leaned closer to Jimmy as he spoke. “I know what I said. But let me be honest with you, Jimmy. There’s no way I’m going to let you become a Godfather. No way in hell.”

  “But …” Jimmy began to protest, but Captain continued.

  “I’m sorry to have lied, but have you ever seen an old gangster? There aren’t too many around. They’re either in jail or worm food. And those who aren’t are sitting on the same fucking street corner that they were sitting on years ago. Made sweet fuck-all of themselves. And I’m not going to let that happen to you. You are better than this, Jimmy. You’re a smart kid. The top of your class, bru. No, this is not for you. You will get your ass into a university. You will get yourself a degree. Be the first in our family with one. Shit, Jimmy, you will get more degrees than a thermometer. And then if you want to be involved with the Godfathers, then you get yourself a degree in law. Become a lawyer, and then you can keep my dumb ass out of jail.”

  Kyle grinned and looked at Jimmy. He couldn’t have felt prouder of Captain than at that moment. Jimmy looked as if he was about to continue his protest, but then decided not to.

  Captain stretched his back and tapped Kyle and Jimmy on their shoulders. “Gents, shaaiser. My feet feel like they’re on fire. I’m in the mood to swaai.”

  The cousins climbed the three stairs out of Backstage, followed by a small group of Godfathers. They walked down the dark corridor and towards the thumping music and flashing lights that was Zoom. Straight ahead was the nightclub itself. To their left was a mirrored passage with red lights that led to the exit. The club was bursting at the seams with bodies. The music was deafening and the flashing lights were blinding. An epileptic person’s worst nightmare. Kyle knew it was just the way the club-goers liked it. Zoom was the club to be at if you were coloured. It had the reputation for being a dangerous place, especially if you were not a bruinou and didn’t know the unwritten rules of “bruinoudom”. Rules like you do not stare at someone you do not know. Rules like tramping on somebody’s tackie could easily result in the tramper being stabbed, accident or not. Kyle remembered when an incident like this had occurred a few months earlier. That was the last time he had been to the club until that afternoon. Captain and the Godfathers were at Club Zoom every weekend. The reason they were at the club, which was located in Durban’s CBD, was for both business and pleasure. Most of the drug sales they made were on a Saturday at the club. And considering that Lazarus was a silent partner in the club itself, they were treated almost as if they were VIPs.

  They squeezed their way past the clubbers, towards the group of girls and guys who were moving their bodies to the rhythm of the music. Amia was amongst them, and so was Nazneen.

  Captain bounced over with the music. He seemed so relaxed and he oozed confidence when he danced. Kyle felt a lot less comfortable. For someone with great foot and eye co-ordination on the sports field, he felt as clumsy as a camel on rollerblades on the dance floor.

  Their circle grew larger, and even Jimmy joined in. One by one, dancers entered the circle and claimed the centre of attention. They’d do a solo dance to chants of either “Tear, stekkie, tear” or “Tear, lightie, tear”. Soon this led to burn-outs, when two people would go into the circle and challenge each other as to who could dance better … or funnier.

  Kyle studied Amia at the opposite side of the circle and she smiled back at him. She wore a short black dress and knee-high boots and looked incredible. Her hair was moist and curly and as she moved, it swayed like a black curtain in a sea breeze. He wanted her. He imagined if they could be alone at that moment and he could … He checked his thoughts guiltily. What would she say if she knew what he was thinking?

  He was physically pulled from his fantasy by Captain, who tugged him nearer and shouted in his ear, “Check who’s here, cuz.” He gestured across the room with his head. And there she was. The girl that gave Jimmy heart palpitations. Sarah was rhythmically moving to the music on the dance floor, looking stunning.

  Captain abandoned his grip of Kyle and pulled Jimmy towards him. “Now is your chance, outie. Go swaai with her.”

  Jimmy stood there, terror in his eyes, his mouth agape. “I c-can’t.”

  “Fuck, bru,” Captain said. “I’m not saying go over there and talk to the girl. Just go dance there. Anywhere over that side. I’ll come with you. We won’t even dance with ’em. Just in that … general area.” Captain’s patience seemed to be wearing a little thin.

  But Jimmy remained unmoved. “I can’t.”

  Captain stood stock still for a few moments. Then a sly smile curled his lips and he grabbed both Kyle and Jimmy by the arm. “Come with me, gents.”

  “Where are we going?” Kyle asked.

  “To get my boy here some courage.”

  Captain pushed his way to the bar and looked at Jimmy. “Do you know what they call courage in Mexico?” he ask
ed and Jimmy shook his head. “Tequila!”

  Captain ordered nine shot glasses of tequila.

  “Whoa, bru,” Kyle protested. “You know I don’t drink.”

  “I know, but today we are supporting our man James here. He needs all the support he can get. You don’t wanna let Jimmy-boy down, now do you, Kyle?”

  Kyle smiled and surrendered to the pressure. This was the first time Captain had ever bought Jimmy a drink – in fact, the first time that he would allow Jimmy to have a drink with him.

  “It’s time for you to become a man,” Captain said. “On three, you shoot ’em, one after the other. Down the hatch. You ready?” Jimmy nodded.

  “Okay – one, two, three.”

  Kyle and Captain tossed back their tots in quick succession. Jimmy took a bit longer to empty all three glasses. He gripped the bar with both hands, grimaced, lowered his head and began to cough.

  Kyle patted him softly on his back. “You all right?”

  Jimmy nodded.

  Captain wrapped Jimmy under his arm again. “Now you’re a man. Now you must act like a man. Do you want Sarah?”

  Jimmy nodded.

  “Don’t fucking nod at me. Open your mouth. Do you want Sarah?”

  Jimmy laughed. “Yes, I do.”

  “What? I can’t hear you. You heard him, Kyle?”

  Kyle smiled and shook his head. “Didn’t hear a damn thing.”

  Jimmy laughed harder, and said louder, “Yes, I want Sarah.”

  “Then what are you waiting for? She’s not gonna come to you. Now go get her, outie!”

  Kyle had never seen Jimmy looking more confident than he did at that moment. Confidence seeped out of his very pores. He watched his cousin turn with a look of determination chiselled on his face and walk purposefully towards the dance floor.

  And that was when the tower of confidence he and Captain had just built came crashing down on top of Jimmy. Sarah was smiling that pretty smile of hers. And she was laughing at whatever the guy next to her had whispered in her ear. She stood there on the dance floor and was very clearly flirting. Kyle felt his heart contract with pity for Jimmy.

  Captain’s face registered dismay. “Shit, bru,” he said, taking a step towards his cousin, putting a consoling arm around his shoulders. “Forget it, bru. It’s not worth it. She’s …”

  Jimmy shrugged violently, shoving the reassuring arm off his back, and stormed off.

  “Jimmy, wait!” Captain called as his cousin pushed his way through the crowd. He looked as if he was about to go after Jimmy, but Kyle grabbed him by the shoulder.

  “Let him go,” Kyle said. “He probably just wants to be alone right now.”

  29

  Kyle was seated in one of the booths. His legs were sore and had gotten more sore as the hours passed. His left calf, in particular, felt unusually tight. Before he had joined Captain at the club in the afternoon, he’d spent the morning training with Charlie on his own. Charlie had banished any work with the soccer ball that morning. He’d made Kyle run more laps around the field than he could count. This was followed by hanging knee raises from the crossbar of the goal and suicide sprints in the eighteen-yard box. Then a session in the gym with work on the weights. Squats, lunges and leg presses. Charlie had ended the training session by having Kyle drink a powdery protein shake that tasted awful.

  But whenever the pain started to get too much for him and he wanted to quit, Kyle remembered the words of his grandfather: By any means necessary. The thought that each knee raise was a knee raise closer to seeing Amia also helped him to push through the pain barrier.

  And it was worth it, because at that moment he was sitting with her. Bruge and his girlfriend Carla also sat with them in one of the red booths that lined the walls of the club.

  “I’m a little nervous,” Kyle said to Amia. “I would rather have played in Durbs. I don’t know why the game must be in Joburg.”

  “Don’t worry, Kyle,” she said. “You’ll be great. I know it.”

  “But I don’t want to be away from you for so long.”

  She laughed. “It’s only a weekend. Stop being so silly.”

  Kyle’s lips ached for her. Even though he kissed her often, each time their lips met, it was like the very first time. His nerve ends would tingle and the butterflies in his stomach would go wild. He was just leaning in to kiss her when he heard his name being called.

  “Kyle!” It was Adam. Some of the Godfathers had come rushing over. “Where’s Captain, ek sê?”

  The look of panic in his eyes made Kyle tense up. “I don’t know. Why? What’s going on?”

  Adam’s face was knotted in pure alarm. “Come with me quick! Jimmy’s fucked up, ek sê. He’s fucked up something bad, bru.”

  Kyle reacted instinctively, without thinking. He leapt over the back of the seat and called to Amia, “Go get Captain! Quick!”

  Questions raced through his head. Who could’ve hit Jimmy? And why? Are they out of their mind? Do they know what Captain will do to them? Fuck, do they know what he’ll do to them?

  Adam led him hurriedly through the crowd and down the mirrored passageway. They turned right into the first door beyond the shiny tube and into the men’s bathroom. There were a lot of boys and young men milling about, looking confused. Jimmy was lying spread-eagled on the floor. Beads of sweat covered his forehead and a rivulet of white froth trickled from the corner of his mouth.

  “What the fuck happened?” Kyle rushed forward and knelt at Jimmy’s side. His skin was hot to the touch.

  “He … he took some eckies. Too much eckies,” one of Jimmy’s friends managed to squeak.

  Kyle pulled at Jimmy’s arm. “Quick, help me here!” he called to Wahied.

  Between the two of them they managed to get Jimmy to his feet and bend him over the basin. Kyle opened the tap wide and held Jimmy’s head under the stream of cold water. He slapped water on his face and shouted, “Jimmy! Don’t fucking sleep, Jimmy! Wake up, you bastard!” He tried to force some water down Jimmy’s gullet. “Can you hear me, Jimmy? Can you hear me?”

  Captain burst in through the door, his face a mixture of panic and fear. “What the hell is going on?”

  “He took ecstasy tablets,” Kyle replied.

  “How many?”

  “I don’t know.”

  Captain turned to one of Jimmy’s friend and slammed him into the wall with his hands wrapped around his throat. “How many did he fucking take?”

  The boy’s eyes were like saucers. “I d-don’t know. He was upset about Sarah, so –”

  “So you give him ecstasy, you little shit?”

  “Captain!” Kyle called out. “We need to get him to the hospital! Now!”

  Captain did not seem to hear him. Kyle sensed the fury burning through his veins. “Anthony!” he called again. “Hospital! Quick!”

  Captain dropped the boy. He reached into his pocket and felt around. “Fuck!” he said. “I haven’t got my car here!”

  “That’s okay,” Wahied said. “Lester’s got his car parked outside.”

  Captain and Kyle draped Jimmy’s arms over their shoulders. “Go get us a bucket of ice,” Captain ordered Wahied. “Quickly, ek sê!”

  As Kyle and Captain dragged Jimmy out of the toilet, people plastered themselves against the walls to allow them through. There were whispers of “What happened?” and “Oh, my God, is he dead?”

  “Stay with us, Jimmy!” Captain said, looking into the face of his cousin.

  “Don’t you sleep, Jimmy!” Kyle echoed. “Stay awake, cuz!”

  Jimmy’s head was flopping about like a marionette’s. He moaned softly, his feet dragging behind him. The three of them stumbled down the stairs and pushed their way out of the door. Lester was waiting for them just outside, the engine of his VW Jetta growling with life. Captain opened the door and dragged Jimmy onto his lap after him. Kyle slid in as well, while Bruge jumped into the passenger seat with the bucket of ice Wahied had handed him.

  Lester
floored the accelerator and the car shot forward.

  “Go to Addington!” Captain ordered. “It’s the closest!”

  The tyres squealed on the road as the car skidded around a corner. Kyle sat in the back seat with Captain and rubbed handfuls of ice on Jimmy’s face and neck in an attempt to bring his scalding temperature down. He shoved some ice cubes into Jimmy’s mouth. Some of the ice had melted in the bucket, so they splashed the freezing water onto him as well.

  “Don’t you dare die, cuz!” Kyle kept on repeating. “Don’t you dare!”

  30

  Kyle hated the smell of the hospital. It reminded him of his mother. It reminded him of death.

  Captain had his cellphone pressed to his ear. He was talking to Spider. “Ja,” he said. “It looks like he’ll be fine. But I can’t get a hold of his ma, or my mother. Do me a favour and get a message to her for me, please, bru.”

  Captain listened to what Spider said, rubbing his forehead hard. “Aight, bru. Shot. Thanks.”

  Captain ended the call and sat down on the bench next to Kyle.

  “The lightie is lucky.” Captain said it softly. Kyle remained silent in agreement. “How could he have done what he did?”

  “He just wants to be like you, Anthony. He idolises you,” Kyle said.

  “Shit, man. I am like me so that he doesn’t have to be.”

  A minute of silence passed before Captain continued, “I just think the men in our family are all fucked up in the head.”

  They laughed through the grief before a heavy hush crushed them once again.

  “Nazneen’s pregnant,” Captain finally said softly.

  Kyle’s eyes widened. “Should I be saying congrats, bru? Is this good news or bad news?”