My Mum Tracy Beaker

by Jacqueline Wilson

  ‘Look, Mum’s bought us flowers,’ said Mum.

  ‘You can’t beat roses and lilies,’ said Carly, glancing at the daffodils on the table.

  Sean Godfrey stood up and took the flowers, blinking in astonishment as Carly flashed her teeth at him.

  ‘So you’re the lucky man, eh? Wow, Tracy, he’s quite a hunk, isn’t he? You’ve done all right for yourself there, darling!’ she said. ‘Give your future mother-in-law a kiss then, Sean.’

  ‘I’m glad we’re going to be family,’ he said, and kissed her. She kissed him back and left a red smudge on either cheek.

  Cam stayed sitting where she was and gave Carly a little wave.

  ‘Oh, it’s you,’ said Carly.

  Mum introduced her to Rosalie, but Carly barely nodded at her. She was honing in on me.

  ‘My little Jess!’ she cried. ‘Come and give me a hug, sweetheart!’

  I had to suffer the hug, and the kissing treatment too. Alfie wasn’t at all sure about this, and bounded up to us, growling. They were only little what’s-going-on? growls, but Carly reacted as if she was being attacked by a werewolf.

  ‘Get back!’ she cried, swatting at him with both hands.

  Alfie thought she was playing and jumped up excitedly, which made her shriek.

  ‘Get him off me, Sean!’ she cried.

  ‘Alfie’s not Sean Godfrey’s dog, he’s mine, Granny! He’s just being friendly,’ I insisted.

  ‘He’s getting his muddy paws all over my white dress!’ she said. ‘Down! Down, I say!’

  I’d been trying to teach Alfie to lie down half the morning without success, but now, awed by Carly’s commanding tone, he lay down flat on his tummy, his tongue lolling.

  ‘Oh, Alfie, you clever boy,’ I said.

  Carly brushed at non-existent marks on her dress. ‘Whose mad idea was it to get Jess a dog?’ she demanded, frowning at Sean Godfrey.

  ‘Don’t look at me,’ he said. ‘I wasn’t too keen on the idea myself, but we thought it would be nice for the kid.’

  ‘It was my idea,’ said Cam calmly.

  ‘Oh, well,’ said Carly, sniffing. ‘So why didn’t you get her something cute? A little chihuahua or a French bulldog, not this scruffy mutt.’

  ‘He’s beautiful, Granny! He’s a special rescue dog from Battersea,’ I said indignantly.

  ‘Oh, well, I might have known,’ she said. ‘Anyway, Jess, put the dog in the corner and see what I’ve got for you.’ She handed me the carrier bag with a flourish.

  My heart sank. It was clothes.

  ‘Go on, have a proper look.’

  It was a bright pink top with the word Princess spelled out in sequins. And there was a skirt that stuck out like a ballet dress, very short and flouncy. I looked at them in utter dismay. I am so not a pink, sparkly, flouncy sort of girl.

  ‘Aren’t they darling? Go and try them on at once, Jess – you’ll look such a picture! Why on earth you wear those dreary old T-shirts and jeans all the time I’ll never know,’ said Carly, glancing at Cam pointedly.

  ‘She’ll try them on later, Mum. We’re in the middle of tea right now,’ said Mum. ‘Sit yourself down. Try a slice of Rosalie’s chocolate cake – it’s fantastic.’

  ‘Oh, I was forgetting! I’ve brought you cake. I ordered it specially,’ said Carly. She opened up the cardboard box. Inside was a huge iced cake that said Congratulations Tracy and Sean in silver lettering, with little red hearts and pink cherubs all the way round the sides.

  ‘Oh, Mum, that’s fantastic!’ said my mum.

  ‘Wow, Carly – amazing cake!’ said Sean Godfrey.

  ‘Beautiful,’ said Rosalie politely, but she didn’t sound as if she meant it.

  ‘Lovely,’ said Cam, and it was clear that she meant the exact opposite.

  I don’t think Mum even noticed because she was cutting the first slice of cake excitedly.

  ‘You put your hand over mine so you’re cutting it as well, Sean,’ she said. ‘It’s your cake too.’ She gave Cam and me a little nod to show us that she was happy to share nowadays. Then she closed her eyes. I think she was wishing, even though all her wishes had already come true.

  I had a slice of the cake. It was actually a bit of a disappointment. The icing was so hard you had to bite into it like toast, and there wasn’t even any butter-cream inside, just jam dividing the sponge layers. I knew Carly would make a fuss if I left any, so I ate and ate and ate, and at last it was all gone apart from a few crumbs. Alfie wanted to help me demolish it, but I thought iced cake wouldn’t be good for his teeth. I wasn’t sure if it was good for my teeth either.

  The trifle and the chocolate cake and the muffins were still untouched. I hoped Sean Godfrey would help himself – he seemed capable of eating at least half a cow – but he shook his head.

  ‘Sorry, I daren’t,’ he said, patting his washboard stomach. ‘You can’t own a gym and prance about with a flabby belly. I put on weight so easily too. Remember what a tub I used to be, Trace?’

  She laughed fondly. I already had a pain in my tummy, and that look she was giving him made it worse.

  ‘You’ve got room for some trifle though, haven’t you, Sean?’ she said. ‘I made it specially.’

  ‘Just a spoonful then, darling.’ He opened his mouth as if he wanted her to feed him like a baby. He looked totally disgusting.

  Mum gave him a smallish portion in a bowl, but he stuck to his guns and literally had just one spoonful.

  She looked disappointed. ‘Isn’t it any good?’ she asked.

  Sean Godfrey said it was utterly delicious – so why couldn’t he have eaten a bit more to please her?

  ‘Would you like some, Mum?’ she asked Carly.

  ‘I’m totally full up with cake, sweetheart,’ she said.

  ‘I’ll have some please, Tracy,’ said Cam.

  ‘Me too, Mum!’ I said.

  ‘I’d love some, Miss Tracy,’ said Rosalie.

  Mum’s trifle really was delicious. It wasn’t too difficult to get it down. And then Rosalie offered her chocolate cake to everyone, and she looked so hopeful that I simply had to say yes. She gave me a big slice.

  It was the best chocolate cake I’d ever tasted, very rich and creamy. It was light too, but it seemed to get heavier and heavier as it went down into my stomach. I couldn’t even give it to Alfie because I knew chocolate could make dogs very ill.

  I was starting to feel very ill indeed, but there was still a plate of Cam’s muffins on the table – and she’d made my favourite blueberry ones. I knew Cam wouldn’t make a fuss if I didn’t have one. She’d understand. But I felt so sorry for her – she always had to be the grown-up person – that I helped myself to one.

  ‘Why don’t you save it for later, Jess?’ she said quietly. ‘You must be totally full up now.’

  ‘I’ve got to have one of my favourite muffins,’ I said determinedly.

  I took a big bite, and then another. They were great muffins, soft and sweet and truly scrumptious. They really were my favourites but I was finding it hard to swallow. I thought of the muffin going down my gullet to sit on top of the chocolate cake on top of the trifle on top of the big iced cake – until my entire stomach was a massive stew of sugar. I suddenly heaved.

  ‘Quick!’ said Cam.

  I charged out of the kitchen to the loo at the end of the passage. I didn’t quite get there in time.

  Mum came and mopped me up. After I’d been sick I still felt shivery and tearful, so she took me up to the bedroom for a lie-down. But it wasn’t my bedroom at home with all my things, and the bed wasn’t my little bed – and Mum didn’t even seem like my mum any more, though she gave me a cuddle and told me not to worry.

  But Alfie was still my dog, and he came and lay next to me, as still as still, just very gently licking my arm. He knew I felt dreadful and did his best to comfort me. I couldn’t go to sleep, and when I tried reading, the words waved up and down and made me feel giddy, so I just lay there, Woofer by my cheek and Alfie
by my side.

  After a while Mum looked in to make sure I wasn’t going to be sick again. ‘I wish I could stay with you, sweetheart, but it’s getting a bit sticky downstairs. Mum keeps on getting at Cam, and Sean keeps yawning because he’s so bored. I need to keep an eye on them!’ she said, giving me a kiss.

  Then Rosalie came, and I said I was very sorry, because she’d had to clear up the mess in the hall.

  ‘Don’t you worry, sweetheart,’ she said. ‘I’m used to it. My Jane has a delicate stomach. I’ve often had to clean up after her.’

  ‘Who’s Jane?’ I asked.

  ‘My little girl.’

  ‘I didn’t know you had a daughter!’

  ‘I have a son too – my Nick. I don’t like to mention them because I might cry. I miss them so. I’m so proud of my children. I wish you could meet them, Jess.’

  ‘Why can’t I?’ I asked.

  ‘They’re back home in the Philippines. My mother looks after them. That’s what we have to do. My grandma looked after me when I was little while my mother was nursing over in England. I trained as a nurse too, but I make more money as a housekeeper. One day I will have earned enough money so my children can be with me,’ said Rosalie.

  ‘Oh goodness, it must be awful for you. And them,’ I said.

  ‘But I get to go home for three weeks every summer. Mr Sean pays for my plane ticket. He is such a kind man,’ she said.

  I didn’t think it was that kind – Sean Godfrey obviously had lots and lots of money.

  He put his head round my bedroom door too. ‘You all right now, kid?’ he asked.

  I nodded.

  ‘Have you got that dog on the bed?’ he asked.

  I nodded again, because it was obvious.

  ‘Well, I suppose we’ll let you just this once, as you’ve been poorly.’

  What did he mean ‘we’? It wasn’t up to him what I did or didn’t do. He wasn’t my dad. Thank goodness.

  He was laughing now and shaking his head. ‘There I was, thinking you were a picky eater, and yet you scoffed so much at tea you made yourself sick!’ he said, as if it was a great joke.

  I didn’t say anything. He ran out of things to say too, and headed back downstairs.

  ‘We still don’t like him one bit, do we, Alfie?’ I whispered, and he agreed.

  We didn’t have any more visitors until Carly came up to say goodbye.

  ‘There, you never even got to try on your lovely new outfit,’ she said.

  ‘Sorry, Granny,’ I mumbled.

  ‘Oh well. Wear it next time I come, so I can see if it fits. It’ll match that ridiculous car of your mother’s. Why on earth did she choose such an old crock? She’ll be a laughing stock. Dear oh dear, I don’t like to see that animal on the bed with you! It’ll get the covers all dirty – and you’ll probably get fleas!’ she said.

  ‘Alfie hasn’t got a single flea!’ I said indignantly.

  ‘Don’t use that tone with me, Jess!’ She looked around the room. ‘My, your mummy’s done well for herself at last, hasn’t she? Sean Godfrey! Even I’ve heard of him, and I don’t know anything about football. He’s quite a catch!’ she said. ‘Don’t pull that silly face, Jess!’

  I didn’t even know I was.

  ‘You’re very lucky. There’s not a lot of guys happy to saddle themselves with someone else’s kids, but he seems to be making a real fuss of you,’ said Carly. ‘You mind you do your best to behave yourself. And stop being such a greedy-guts! You’re too old to make yourself sick like that!’

  I didn’t feel very lucky because of Sean Godfrey. I felt very lucky that I wasn’t a little girl from the Philippines, because then Carly might be looking after me instead of Mum.

  Cam came up a little later. She lay down on the bed beside me and gave me a gentle hug. Alfie licked us both.

  ‘You poor thing,’ she whispered. ‘I feel awful. You didn’t have to eat my boring old muffin on top of everything else. No wonder you were sick.’

  ‘I love your muffins,’ I said. ‘I was just trying to make everyone happy.’

  ‘I know,’ said Cam. ‘It’s difficult, isn’t it!’

  ‘Carly thinks Mum’s done very well for herself,’ I said. ‘Do you think so, Cam?’

  She paused. ‘Most people would think she has,’ she said eventually.

  ‘Yes, but do you think so?’ I persisted.

  ‘She’s got the house of her dreams – and the car – and her own swimming pool. You must love the swimming pool, Jess. And I think it’s ridiculous, a perfectly fit man having a housekeeper, but Rosalie seems lovely.’

  ‘And do you think Sean Godfrey’s lovely? Carly thinks he’s a hunk.’

  Cam snorted. ‘I think he’s probably more Carly’s type than your mum’s,’ she said. ‘But Tracy seems very fond of him. Much fonder than she’s been of anyone else.’

  ‘I’m not fond of him,’ I whispered.

  ‘I know that, chickie. I can’t say I am either. I wasn’t that keen on him when he was a kid, though it wasn’t really his fault. He’d had to grow up tough. I admire the way he’s worked hard and done so well. And I suppose he’s kind in his own way. Very protective. He’s been good to lots of kids with the football training. And Carly’s right, he is a hunk. It’s just …’ She pulled a face.

  It was my turn to say, ‘I know.’

  Cam laughed, and I did too. Alfie made snuffly sounds as if he was joining in.

  ‘I’m so happy I’ve got Alfie,’ I said.

  ‘I’m glad. I was dreadfully irresponsible, taking you to choose a dog before you were even living here – but I’m so pleased I did, even so,’ said Cam.

  ‘Do you think Mum’s really going to marry Sean Godfrey?’ I asked.

  ‘It looks like it.’

  ‘And I’ll have to be the bridesmaid?’

  ‘Your mum will be really upset if you’re not,’ said Cam.

  ‘I’ll be really upset if I am,’ I replied. ‘But I suppose I’ll have to. So long as the dress isn’t pink.’

  ‘Just hope and pray your mum doesn’t go shopping for it with Carly,’ said Cam, and we both laughed again.

  ‘Imagine what she’ll wear to the wedding!’ I said.

  ‘Oh goodness yes. The mother-of-the-bride outfit!’

  ‘What will you wear for your foster-mother-of-the-bride outfit?’

  ‘Don’t! Oh help – what will I wear? Even I can see that a T-shirt and jeans won’t hack it.’

  ‘Will you wear a dress and a fancy hat?’

  ‘No! I wore posh trousers and a silk shirt when Liz and Jane had their ceremony. They’ll do. But definitely no hat.’

  ‘Not even one of those little fiddly ones you wear on the side of your head?’

  ‘A fascinator? Oh goodness, imagine me in one of those!’ said Cam.

  We were still laughing when Mum came into the room.

  ‘You feeling better, Jess?’ she asked. ‘What are you two giggling about, eh?’

  ‘We’re just wondering what Cam will look like when she wears a fascinator to your wedding,’ I said.

  ‘Oh Lord, I can’t wait!’ said Mum, laughing too.

  ‘What are you going to wear, Tracy?’ Cam asked.

  ‘Definitely not a white meringue. And nothing too low cut or tight. I don’t know. I haven’t even got a ring yet,’ said Mum. She did a twirl. ‘Imagine, Tracy Beaker the blushing bride!’

  MUM WENT OUT to choose the ring with Sean Godfrey the following Saturday morning. She wanted me to come and help her decide, but I thought that would be a bit weird. So the two of them went off together, while Alfie and I stayed home with Rosalie. We helped her with the housework. She gave me a clean j-cloth to do the dusting. She gave one to Alfie too, but he mistook it for a ball and kept wanting me to throw it for him.

  ‘You and that dog!’ she said.

  ‘You don’t mind him, do you?’ I asked.

  ‘Of course not! He’s my furry pal, aren’t you, Alfie?’ and she made a fuss of him.
<
br />   ‘I know Sean Godfrey doesn’t really want him here.’

  ‘Oh, Mr Sean is very particular,’ said Rosalie. ‘He likes everything kept immaculate. No mess, no smells.’

  ‘Alfie’s had a few little accidents, but he doesn’t mean to,’ I said anxiously.

  ‘I know, dear. Don’t worry.’

  ‘And I was sick on the floor! I’ll be ever so careful this teatime. My friend Alice is coming to tea, with her sister, Ava, and her mum, Marina. If they bring a big cake I’ll just have one bite, I promise,’ I said.

  ‘And one bite of my cake too. I’m making a coffee-and-walnut,’ said Rosalie. ‘And Miss Tracy told me she’d make fairy cakes for the children.’

  ‘Will you call her Mrs Tracy when she marries Sean Godfrey?’

  ‘I expect she’ll want to be called Mrs Sean.’

  ‘Mm, maybe not. It does seem odd, you calling people Mr and Miss and doing all their work for them. Like we’re in olden times,’ I said. ‘Still, maybe you’ll find a rich man like Mum found Sean Godfrey.’

  Rosalie laughed. ‘I think my husband might have something to say about that!’

  ‘You have a husband!’ I said, surprised.

  ‘Yes, of course I have. I told you, I have two children, Nick and Jane. Here!’ She took her mobile out of her pocket and showed me their photos. They were smiling and waving.

  ‘They look lovely,’ I said.

  ‘Wave back!’ said Rosalie. ‘I do every time I take a peep! And this is my husband, Eric.’

  ‘You don’t need a husband to have children,’ I said. ‘My mum’s not married to my dad.’

  ‘Yes, I know, but we’re stricter in the Philippines. We’re all good Catholics.’ Rosalie was smiling and waving at Eric too, so I copied, just to be polite.

  ‘Is he in the Philippines too?’