My Mum Tracy Beaker

by Jacqueline Wilson

  When Mum left, I cried into my pillow. I burned all over, hating Sean Godfrey. I knew I seemed spoiled, but he was the one who had spoiled everything. I ended up thumping my pillow hard. If Miss Oliver had seen me she’d have said I had Anger Issues too.

  Or perhaps she wouldn’t. Miss Oliver seemed surprisingly understanding nowadays when people at school treated me so differently. All the girls in my class wanted to be my best friend, especially Aleysha Roberts, and the boys wanted to be my mate. In fact, Piotr asked me if I’d be his girlfriend!

  ‘Shove off out of it,’ said Tyrone. ‘Jess is my girlfriend.’

  ‘No I’m not! I’m not anyone’s girlfriend!’ I insisted.

  ‘Yes, but if you were you’d choose me, wouldn’t you, because we’ve been mates for ages, since before you met Sean Godfrey,’ said Tyrone. ‘When can I come and meet him again, eh?’

  ‘This Saturday,’ I said. I knew that Tyrone’s mum wouldn’t bring him so I said we’d come and pick him up.

  ‘You promise?’ he said.

  ‘Promise.’

  ‘You’re not having me on?’

  ‘No, I said. I promise promise promise.’

  ‘Wow! Hey, you lot, listen!’ Tyrone went rushing all round the playground stopping every child to tell them he was going to Sean Godfrey’s house.

  They all started begging for an invitation too. It was all a bit much. I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings, but I couldn’t have the entire school to tea.

  Luckily Miss Oliver was on playground duty. She came over and tapped me on the shoulder. ‘Can I have a word, Jess?’

  The children melted away.

  ‘Let’s go to the Peace Garden. It looks as if you could do with a bit of peace!’ said Miss Oliver.

  I nodded. I hadn’t been to the Peace Garden for ages. Miss Oliver and I sat on the little wooden bench and listened to the trickle of the fountain.

  ‘It’s lovely here, isn’t it?’ she said.

  ‘I used to hide here,’ I said shyly. ‘I was scared of Tyrone then.’

  ‘But then you made his nose bleed!’ said Miss Oliver.

  ‘It was an accident!’

  ‘I know. I bet you never thought you’d end up friends.’

  ‘I never thought a lot of things,’ I said, sighing.

  Miss Oliver looked at me carefully. ‘How’s life now then?’

  ‘I’ve got a dog!’

  ‘Yes, I’ve seen him when your mum picks you up from school in her amazing car. He looks like a lovely dog,’ said Miss Oliver.

  ‘He’s called Alfie. He’s the best dog in all the world. I’m ever so lucky,’ I told her.

  ‘I know you are. Dogs are wonderful companions.’

  ‘Alfie’s my best friend,’ I said. ‘Actually, everyone wants to be my best friend these days.’

  ‘Everyone thinks you’re ever so lucky because you and your mum are living with a famous footballer. Even the staff are in awe!’

  I snorted. ‘They don’t know what he’s like,’ I mumbled.

  Miss Oliver was suddenly on red alert. ‘Isn’t he kind to you then?’ she asked.

  It was tremendously tempting to tell a story and say he was really mean and horrible to me. Then Miss Oliver would be sorry for me and it would be bliss. But she might report it and talk to Mum, and Sean Godfrey might get into trouble, and I certainly would.

  ‘He’s OK,’ I said reluctantly. ‘He’s kind to me, I suppose. Yesterday he took me to Chessington World of Adventures and bought me a wolf.’

  ‘From the zoo?’ Miss Oliver asked, startled.

  ‘Not a real wolf, a toy one. He’s forever buying things. He bought Mum that pink Cadillac, just like she wanted, and a big flashy diamond ring.’

  ‘Goodness. And your mum’s happy?’

  ‘Yes. Ever so.’

  ‘But you’re not?’

  ‘Well. I am sometimes. But I don’t like living in that huge house. I like Rosalie – she does the housework and the cooking – and I like the swimming pool, but it’s not like home,’ I said. ‘I wish we could go back to our old flat, but Mum’s going to tell the council we don’t need it any more.’

  ‘I can see that your whole life’s been turned upside down, Jess. Even at school,’ said Miss Oliver.

  ‘And that’s another thing,’ I wailed. ‘Mum wants me to go to a posh school now, like my friends Ava and Alice.’

  ‘Oh dear. Yes, I suppose she would.’

  ‘But I don’t want to.’

  ‘Well, I shall miss you if you change schools. You’ve been a joy to teach, Jess,’ said Miss Oliver.

  I was taken aback. Miss Oliver often told me off, and she didn’t always give me top marks for my work, and Mum had shouted at her. I hadn’t always been sure that I liked Miss Oliver, but now I was totally certain.

  ‘I shall miss you too, Miss Oliver. Ever so,’ I said fervently.

  WE PICKED TYRONE up after lunch on Saturday. It was so strange being back on the Duke Estate. We’d only been living at Sean Godfrey’s for a few weeks but it already seemed a lifetime.

  ‘Dear goodness, it’s a right old dump here, isn’t it?’ said Mum, looking around at the abandoned mattress and the burned-out car and the mess of paper and boxes strewn everywhere from the chippy and the Chinese and the KFC.

  I could see that Sean Godfrey agreed, but I was peering up at the windows of the fourteenth floor of Marlborough Tower. There was our living-room window with the velvet curtains and the mother-and-baby china dogs walking along the windowsill. Well, I couldn’t actually see the ornaments, but I knew they were there.

  ‘Mum, can we go and get the china dogs?’ I asked urgently. ‘And the balloon ladies and the birds and the teddy bear’s picnic and—?’

  ‘Oh, Jess,’ said Mum, but I could see that she was missing them dreadfully too. ‘Well, we could take the china dogs – and you could have the teddy bear’s picnic in your bedroom. Hang on, let’s see if I’ve got the door key in my bag.’

  ‘No!’ said Sean Godfrey, snapping her bag shut again. The cheek of it! ‘For God’s sake, I thought we agreed. You don’t need any of that old junk. We’ll get you some brand-new ornaments if you’re desperate to clutter up the house.’

  ‘Yes, but I think Jess really wants some of our old stuff,’ said Mum.

  ‘Don’t let’s start an argument now. We’re late as it is. We’d better find this kid Tyrone. Where does he live?’

  I thought I’d somehow have to summon up the courage to go into Devonshire Tower and walk along the balcony and knock on the door and face the scary mum, but Tyrone was waiting for us downstairs.

  ‘There you are!’ he yelled, charging up to the car. ‘I’ve been waiting ages. I was sure you weren’t coming. I didn’t think you’d really come for me, Sean Godfrey!’

  ‘Call me Sean. Hop in, son,’ he said.

  Tyrone got in the back of the car with me. ‘Sean Godfrey just called me son!’ he mouthed.

  It didn’t seem like such a big deal to me. I’d have absolutely hated it if Sean Godfrey had called me daughter. But Tyrone was over the moon. When we got to the house he was over the stars as well. We took him on a tour, and he walked on tiptoe across the pale rugs, though I saw he’d tried to scrub his ancient trainers clean. He went into the glass extension and circled the swimming pool in awe, but shook his head determinedly when Sean Godfrey invited him to try it out.

  ‘Ain’t got no swimming gear,’ he said.

  ‘I’ll fix you up. I’ve got some shorts that will do you.’

  Tyrone still shook his head.

  ‘Can’t you swim, Tyrone?’ I asked.

  ‘Course I can. Right to the end and back, easy-peasy. Don’t even mind going out of my depth,’ he boasted, but he’d gone red.

  ‘I bet you’re more of a football guy,’ said Sean Godfrey. ‘Fancy a kick-around? We’ll let the ladies have a little splash in the pool while us guys have fun.’

  I decided I might like him a little bit
after all. He was great with Tyrone, running around and teaching him all kinds of tricks. Tyrone’s face got redder and redder. He looked as if he was going to explode with happiness.

  ‘He’s a funny kid, but he’s quite sweet really,’ said Mum. ‘Though if he ever knocks you over again I’ll still wring his neck.’

  ‘I hope Tyrone’s mum won’t wring my neck if I accidentally knock him over again,’ I said.

  ‘I bet she’s nowhere near as fierce as Sean’s mum. It’s a huge relief that he’s not really in touch with her any more – though he bought her a fantastic house when he first started earning big-time. She’ll have to be invited to the wedding! She’ll probably throw stones instead of confetti,’ said Mum.

  I edged up to her. ‘Are you really and truly getting married?’ I asked.

  ‘What do you think this is all about?’ Mum held out her left hand and wiggled her fingers so the diamond sparkled in the sunlight.

  ‘Couldn’t you just stay engaged?’ I asked. ‘If you don’t marry, then we won’t be stuck with Sean Godfrey for ever and ever, until death do you part.’

  ‘I want to be stuck with him, Jess,’ said Mum.

  ‘But you often have rows,’ I said.

  ‘I often have rows with everyone. Even you.’

  ‘Yes, but we only started having rows when you hooked up with Sean Godfrey,’ I pointed out.

  ‘Yes, because you’re so blooming difficult with him!’ said Mum. ‘Like you keep calling him Sean Godfrey all the time.’

  ‘Tyrone does too,’ I said.

  ‘Yes, but he says it in a hero-worshipping sort of way. You certainly don’t.’ Mum gently tweaked my nose. ‘Look, you’ll like the wedding, I promise. I fancy having the ceremony in a castle. What do you think? Then you could have a fairy-princess kind of bridesmaid’s dress.’

  ‘But not pink,’ I said. ‘Ava wants the bridesmaids’ dresses to be blue.’

  ‘Yes, but Ava isn’t going to be a bridesmaid, so it’s what you want that counts,’ said Mum.

  ‘Well, you know what I want. No wedding at all,’ I said.

  ‘We’re going round in circles here. You’re the most obstinate kid I’ve ever known!’

  ‘And I wonder who I take after?’

  ‘Shut it, Miss Lippy,’ said Mum, putting her hand over my mouth.

  ‘No, you shut it,’ I said, putting my hand over her mouth.

  We started wrestling. We were only mucking about, playing at fighting, but Alfie took it seriously. He rushed over, barking anxiously, trying to protect me. Sean Godfrey came running over too.

  ‘What are you two doing?’ he said, trying to pull us apart.

  ‘Stop it – we’re just having a bit of fun,’ said Mum.

  ‘What …? Women!’ he said, turning to Tyrone.

  ‘Yeah, women!’ Tyrone echoed happily. ‘Can we go on playing footie for a bit, Sean Godfrey?’

  ‘Course we can,’ he said – but Alfie had got so worked up he wanted to play too, and kept trying to catch the ball, though his mouth was much too small.

  So we had tea instead. Rosalie had baked a lemon meringue pie this time, and Mum made her fairy cakes again.

  ‘Fairy cakes?’ Tyrone said doubtfully – but when he saw that Mum had iced each one with a football he thought they were seriously cool, and ate two, and two big slices of Rosalie’s pie. Then he asked for yet another slice, plus a third fairy cake.

  ‘Don’t you make yourself sick now, Tyrone,’ said Rosalie warily.

  ‘I could scoff a whole pie and it still wouldn’t make me sick,’ said Tyrone. He looked at me. ‘Do you get pies and cakes like this for tea every day? I’d give anything in the whole world to swap places with you, even though you’re a girl.’

  That made me feel ashamed. I was forever bleating about my life, but everyone else thought I was the luckiest girl alive. Except Cam.

  When we had taken Tyrone home and were driving back, I asked Mum if Cam could come to tea next.

  ‘I miss her so. We haven’t seen her for ages. And she hasn’t really had a proper visit. She had to share it with Granny Carly,’ I said.

  Mum blew through her bottom lip, remembering. ‘Yes, I’d love her to come,’ she said. ‘Though I get the feeling she doesn’t really like it at Sean’s.’

  ‘She’s probably jealous,’ said Sean Godfrey smugly. ‘Didn’t you say she lives in this scruffy little house with a lot of mad teenage girls?’

  ‘Cam’s not the type of woman to be jealous. And I was a mad teenage girl once,’ said Mum, giving him a dig in the ribs.

  ‘You’re still mad now, babe,’ he said. ‘Tell you what. Why don’t you and me go off castle hunting for the wedding next weekend, while Jess goes to stay with Cam?’

  ‘Oh yes!’ I said.

  ‘Don’t you want to come and check out the castles too, Jess?’ Mum asked, disappointed. ‘We might even find one with a tower, and then you can look out the window and pretend you’re Rapunzel.’

  ‘Mum! I’m not a little kid any more,’ I said. ‘Please let me stay at Cam’s.’

  So I went, and had a lovely weekend. It was like I’d slipped back into my old life, though it was much better because I had Alfie. I even had my own room – one of the girls was on a home visit so her bed was going spare.

  All the girls thought that Alfie was marvellous, even big scary Jax. She squatted down and held out her arms, and Alfie rushed up to her and licked her face. I’d never seen her smile before.

  We had a cosy morning, all hanging out together in the kitchen, baking.

  ‘Though maybe we’ll steer clear of muffins this time,’ said Cam.

  We chose cornflake crispy cakes. They were ever so simple to make, and yet they tasted really good. I loved Rosalie’s cakes, but they sometimes filled me up too much and made my teeth feel funny.

  Then all the girls lounged about posting stuff on their phones while Cam caught up with her writing. I’d brought my felt-tip pens, so she found me some A4 paper for me to draw on. I drew a castle, but there was no wedding. I was looking out of the tower window, and my hair had suddenly grown long and straight and golden, and I was letting it hang down like Rapunzel. Alfie was beside me, and his ears had grown too, almost as long as my hair.

  Then I drew four more windows in the main part of the castle. Mum had the biggest. Cam had a big window too. Alice had a little window under the turrets. Even Tyrone had a window. I didn’t include Sean Godfrey, but I drew an arrow pointing underneath the castle and wrote: I reckoned he was down there. Not locked up in chains like a prisoner – he hadn’t actually done anything really wicked. There might even be a gym so that he could keep fit. He just wasn’t allowed to come out. There was probably a big strong door with an enormous lock. I drew a big key on a gold chain hanging around my neck.

  After lunch – sausage and mash – Cam and I took Alfie for a long walk. She had brought him some packets of expensive dog food, but he politely made it clear he’d much rather share my sausages. After he’d come back from his walk he ate the dog food too, and then he curled up on some cushions and went fast asleep, even though the girls were playing loud music and dancing around the living room.

  I did a little dance too, but I felt a bit silly. Jax laughed at me, but not nastily. I expect I’d have laughed at me too. Cam and I went off to her room for a bit of peace, and she read me The Hundred and One Dalmatians, which was absolute bliss as she did all the voices.

  ‘Shall we go back to Battersea and find a Mrs Alfie, and then my two Alfies could have lots of puppies like Pongo and Missis?’ I suggested hopefully.

  ‘In your dreams,’ said Cam. ‘One Alfie is quite enough. And anyway, all the dogs at Battersea have a little operation to make sure they can’t have any puppies.’

  ‘Poor Alfie. Well, maybe one day we could adopt just one little puppy from Battersea and Alfie could be a foster dog,’ I said.

  ‘That’s a better idea,’ said Cam. ‘Though you’d better get Alfie a hundred per cent house-train
ed and obedient first.’

  ‘Did you have to be house-trained and obedient before they let you foster?’ I giggled.

  ‘Very funny,’ said Cam dryly.

  ‘Do you really like fostering?’ I asked.

  ‘Well, I seem to be doing an awful lot of it at the moment. It gets a bit much sometimes! I never, ever thought this is what I’d end up doing. It all started because I met your mum when I was writing an article about life in a children’s home.’

  ‘And she was having a royal strop.’ I loved hearing this story.

  ‘Yes, she was. She had a lot of them in those days,’ said Cam.

  ‘She still does,’ I said. ‘But not with me. Well, not much. She gets a bit narked if I moan about Sean Godfrey.’

  ‘Do you think Tracy really is happy with Sean?’ Cam asked, suddenly serious.

  I thought about it, screwing my face up to concentrate. ‘I think she is. I mean, she seems happy most of the time, and she gets all lovey-dovey with him, which is revolting – though sometimes I think she’s just acting. She wants to have a nice husband and a big house and all the rest of it, but she can’t really want to be stuck with Sean Godfrey for ever, can she?’

  Cam sighed. ‘I don’t know. Is she going to get another job now that she’s not looking after Ava and Alice?’

  ‘There’s a job going as a receptionist at Sean Godfrey’s gym. She found out when she went to her kick-boxing class. She thought she could do that, but he went bananas and said he wasn’t having his fiancée working there. He couldn’t understand why she wanted to work when he could buy her anything she needed.’

  ‘I hope your mum went into one of her famous strops!’ said Cam.

  ‘Yes, she did! But he still wouldn’t let her take the job.’

  ‘He sounds like a dinosaur from the past. What does he expect her to do – waste her time shopping and going to the hairdresser’s and having her nails done?’