Fortress Besieged

by Qian Zhongshu

  As though reciting an “Epitaph for a Child,” Mrs. Liu began singing its praises, saying how clever it was, how well-behaved, how it slept till dawn the moment it was put to bed. Since no one was paying any attention to her, the boy’s older sister opened her eyes wide and having heard all she could stand, put in, “He does too cry. He wakes me up at night with his crying.”

  Miss Liu said, “Who does the crying? Who’s so big and still grabs things to eat? When she can’t beat up little brother, who screams at the top of her lungs? Aren’t you ashamed?”

  Upset, the girl pointed exultantly at Miss Liu and cried, “Auntie is a grown-up, and she cries, too. I know, that day—”

  Her parents hushed her and scolded her for not being in bed yet. Miss Liu pulled her inside, certain the guests had not seen the color of her face. After that, trying to carry on the conversation was like using artificial respiration to save a drowning victim. No life could be brought back into it. Miss Liu did not show her face again.

  When they had said goodbye and left, Hsin-mei remarked, “Children sure are frightening! They’ll tell everything. Miss Liu is so quiet and happy on the outside. Who’d have thought she ever cried. I guess everyone has his own troubles. Ai!”

  Hung-chien said, “It doesn’t matter about you and Miss Fan. I’m indebted to Liu Tung-fang for having helped me once, but I’ve no intention of getting married here. Mrs. Wang really wasted her time and effort. I’m sure to have a misunderstanding with Liu over this some day.”

  “It won’t be that bad,” said Hsin-mei, brushing it off lightly. He often asked Hung-chien what he thought of Mrs. Wang and wanted Hung-chien to help figure out how old she was.

  Miss Sun’s correspondence with Lu Tzu-hsiao weighed on Hung-chien’s mind like a rat gnawing on something in the walls. He was disturbed by it all evening and couldn’t stop thinking about it. He almost wrote Miss Sun a letter advising her as a friend to be careful about whom she made friends with. In the end he convinced himself to let her get close to Lu. He wasn’t in love with her, so why should he be looking on jealously and meddling in her business? It was all Chao Hsin-mei’s fault. His joking had put the idea in his head, like someone in a hypnotic state who has been given a suggestion. What usually happened in such cases was that other people kept on joking until the person involved really did fall in love. He’d seen it happen many times and certainly would never be that foolish himself. Still, he felt in the end as though he’d been wronged somehow. He hated Miss Sun and despised her besides.

  That afternoon, much to his surprise, there was a knock on his door and in she came. At the sight of her all the ill will in Hung-chien’s heart dissolved like the nighttime mist under the morning sun. She had come several times before but never made him so happy as now. Hung-chien remarked that he hadn’t seen her since returning from Kweilin and asked her how she had been spending her winter vacation. She said she had been meaning to come thank them for the things he and Hsin-mei had brought her from Kweilin but had had two bouts of fever and chills. Today she had come over with Miss Fan to deliver some books. Hung-chien asked with a smile if they were plays for Hsin-mei. Miss Sun replied with a smile that they were.

  “Have you gone up to see Uncle Chao?” Hung-chien asked.

  “I wouldn’t make a nuisance of myself!” said Miss Sun. “I didn’t go up at all. She wanted to come see Mr. Chao and asked me whether he lived upstairs or down and what the room number was. She didn’t want me to guide her. I agreed not to go up with her and told her I had something to do here, too.”

  “Hsin-mei won’t necessarily be grateful for your guidance.”

  “It’s all so hard!” The smile on Miss Sun’s face as she said this indicated that she did not find it very hard at all to know what to do. “I didn’t know until she came back last night that Mrs. Wang had had a party.” This was a commonplace remark, but being oversensitive, she felt it was quite beside the point and quickly changed the subject by asking, “You’d seen the famous beauty Mrs. Wang before, hadn’t you?”

  “The business last night was all Mr. and Mrs. Wang’s nonsense—I’d seen her twice before. She carries herself well. Is she a famous beauty? This is the first time I’ve ever heard of it.”

  Hung-chien felt rather nervous when he saw her, and his hands were continuously toying with the four-colored supernorma pencil on his desk which he had brought back from Germany. Miss Sun asked for the pencil, pushed out the red lead, and drew a red mouth on a blank spot of the ink blotter. About an inch away she drew ten oblong, pointed red dots, five in a group, to represent fingernails. Beyond this there were no other facial features or body. When she had finished, she said, “These are Mrs. Wang’s—main points.”

  Hung-chien thought for a moment, then burst out laughing. “It really does bear a resemblance. I have to hand it to you for thinking that up!”

  The significance of a remark in the listener’s mind is often like a strange cat, which enters the room without making a sound. You don’t notice its presence until it gives a “mew.” When Miss Sun said at the beginning that she had something to do at the faculty dormitory, Hung-chien hadn’t paid any attention to it. The remark now awoke in his consciousness as though from sleep. Maybe she had come to see Lu Tzu-hsiao and just dropped in to see him on her way. The pang of jealousy he felt inside was like a chestnut roasting on a fire about to burst from its shell in the extreme heat. Anxious to get at the truth, but afraid his personal questioning might leave a trail, he remarked, “That Miss Fan is an interesting one, all right. Yesterday was the first time I got to know her. You’re roommates. Are you very close?”

  “She only respects Mrs. Wang. Now of course there’s Uncle Chao. Mr. Fang, did you offend Miss Fan yesterday?”

  “No, why?”

  “She came back cursing you—oh, goodness, I’m gossiping.”

  “That’s strange! What did she curse me about?”

  Miss Sun said with a laugh, “Oh, it wasn’t anything special. She just said you wouldn’t say anything, paid no attention to anyone, and did nothing but eat.”

  “What nonsense,” said Hung-chien, reddening. “That’s not true. I did speak, though not much. I just went yesterday to make up the number for the dinner party. It didn’t involve me, so naturally all I did was eat.”

  Miss Sun threw him a quick glance, and toying with the pencil said, “What Miss Fan said was nothing really. She also called you a blockhead and said you didn’t even know whether you wore a hat or not.”

  Hung-chien guffawed and said, “I deserve a scolding for that! It’s a long story. I’ll tell you about it some day. But that Miss Fan of yours—”Miss Sun protested that Miss Fan was not hers.

  “OK, OK, that roommate of yours, I don’t think she’s very good. All she does is criticize other people behind their backs. If Hsin-mei really did marry her, he’d have to break off with all his old friends. She mentioned you last night, too.”

  “She couldn’t have had anything good to say. What did she say?”

  Hung-chien hesitated, and Miss Sun said, “I’ve got to know. Tell me, Mr. Fang.” All suggestion of a smile faded, and she was sweetly stubborn.

  Hung-chien had seen this expression on her face once before. It aroused all his tender feelings of protectiveness, and he said, “She didn’t say much. She didn’t criticize you or anything. I don’t remember exactly. She just said something about someone writing you letters. That’s common enough. She just likes to make a big fuss over nothing.”

  Such an expression of rage came over Miss Sun’s face that Hung-chien did not dare look at her. Her face turned completely red as quickly as a bucket of gasoline when a spark is dropped into it. Pounding the pencil against the table, she exclaimed, “Shit! I can’t stand him, and she even spreads rumors around for him! I’ll have to get even with her for this.”

  The knot in Hung-chien’s throat loosened; he said quickly, “It’s my fault. Don’t pay any attention to her. Let her spread rumors if she wants. No one’s going t
o believe them anyway. I for one don’t believe them.”

  “The whole thing’s so annoying, but I can’t figure out what to do about it. That Lu Tzu-hsiao—” Miss Sun was so revolted by these three words, she seemed almost unwilling to allow them in her mouth. “Last year around the time of the final examinations he suddenly wrote me a letter. I didn’t write a single word in reply, but he still kept on writing me letter after letter. During the winter vacation he came to the women’s dormitory to see me and insisted on inviting me out to eat—”

  Hung-chien asked nervously, “You didn’t go, did you?”

  The question made her lower her head involuntarily. “Of course, I wouldn’t go. That guy is really crazy. He kept on writing letters. The more he wrote, the more ridiculous they got. The first letter said that to save me the trouble of answering, he had enclosed a sheet of paper with a question written on it.” She flushed again. “Never mind what the question was. He said if my answer to the question was—was affirmative, I was to write a plus sign and send him back the paper. Otherwise I was to write a minus sign. In the last letter he simply wrote out a plus and a minus sign, and I was supposed to cross one out. Now isn’t that ridiculous and infuriating?” As she spoke, her eyes were mirthful, while her lips pouted.

  Hung-chien couldn’t help observing with a smile, “That’s a professor’s—a professor’s letter, all right. When we took tests in ‘General Knowledge’ class in junior high school, the teacher always gave us questions like that. But Lu at least is sincere in his feelings toward you.”

  Miss Sun’s eyes flashed angrily and she said, “Who wants him to be sincere toward me! He keeps on sending those letters. If other people find out about them, it’ll make me look ridiculous, too.”

  “Miss Sun, I have an idea for you,” said Hung-chien as though mulling it over carefully in his mind. “You haven’t thrown out any of the letters he’s written you during all this, have you? It’d be best if you haven’t. Tie them all up in one bundle and have the errand boy return them to him. Don’t write a single word.”

  “Should I write his name and everything on the outside of the package?”

  “No, don’t. He’ll understand well enough when he opens it up. . . .”

  If a psychoanalyst heard all this, he’d know at once that the subconscious was up to tricks. Hung-chien was avenging himself on someone else by using T’ang Hsiao-fu’s method of sending back his own letters.

  “Simply rip up the letters before wrapping them up—no, don’t. That would be too hard on him.”

  Miss Sun said gratefully, “I’ll do just as you say. It couldn’t be wrong. I really do appreciate it. I don’t understand anything, and there’s no one I can talk it over with. I’m so afraid of doing the wrong thing. I just don’t know how I should behave. It’s all such a nuisance! Would you teach me how, Mr. Fang?”

  It was all too much like the poor, ignorant, weak, little girl. Maybe Hsin-mei was right when he said she was playing the fool. Hung-chien’s suspicion flitted by without stopping like a swallow over water. Miss Sun not only sought his advice, but was ready to follow his every word as well. This pleased him so much; it left no room in his mind for suspicion. They talked a bit more; then Miss Sun said she wouldn’t be going to Hsin-mei’s that day. She wanted to return directly to the dormitory and told Hung-chien not to see her out. Hung-chien had not wanted to see her out in the first place for fear of attracting undue attention, but when she said this, he could only reply, “I’ll walk you back—just halfway—to the door of the dormitory.”

  Miss Sun stood staring down at the floor and said, “All right, but you don’t have to be so polite. There are—uh—lots of rumors going around. It’s so annoying!”

  Hung-chien gave a start. “What rumors?” he asked. He immediately regretted having asked the question.

  “If you—if you haven’t heard,” said Miss Sun haltingly, “then never mind. Goodbye. I’ll do what you told me to,” and shaking hands, she smiled and left.

  Hung-chien collapsed weakly into his chair. He felt cold and hot all over as though stricken with malaria. Damn! he thought. Damn! What is this “rumor” all about? Whenever two people get together, somebody always starts a rumor just like the way a spider spins a web whenever two tree branches meet. I was too talkative today and said too many things I needn’t and shouldn’t have said. Wasn’t I just substantiating the “rumor”? Maybe I’m wrong, but it seemed Miss Sun’s parting remark was said with special emphasis. So now her marriage is all my responsibility. Isn’t that just great! He became so fidgety that he could neither sit nor stand still and began pacing around his room. If I don’t love Miss Sun, why don’t I just mind my own business? Or am I in love with her—just a little bit?

  A peal of feminine laughter along with footsteps clattering on the stairs like a greenhouse collapsing interrupted Hung-chien’s thoughts. It was immediately followed by Hsin-mei’s voice, “Watch your step. Don’t fall down again like yesterday.” Then there was another peal of feminine laughter along with the sound of several doors upstairs and down suddenly opening, then closing softly. Miss Fan really can do it up, thought Hung-chien. Those two peals of laughter all but amount to an announcement on the president’s bulletin board to the entire school that she and Chao Hsin-mei are sweethearts. Poor Hsin-mei. How angry he must be. Though sorry for Hsin-mei, he was relieved at the same time, feeling as though the “rumor” about himself had lost some of its gravity. He was just picking up a cigarette when Hsin-mei came in without knocking and took it away from him.

  “Didn’t you see Miss Fan home?” Hung-chien asked him.

  Ignoring him, Hsin-mei lit the cigarette and took a few furious drags, then cried, “Damn that little jerk Sun Jou-chia! Why’d she have to bring Fan Yi along when she had a date with Lu Tzu-hsiao! Next time I see her I’m going to give her a cussing out.”

  Hung-chien said, “Don’t make blind accusations. Remember? Didn’t you say on the boat that lending books is the first step in a romance? Now what about it? Ha, ha. Heaven’s will is being done.”

  Hsin-mei couldn’t restrain a smile and said, “Did I say that on the boat? In any case I’m not going to read a single word of either play she brought.”

  Hung-chien asked who the playwrights were.

  Hsin-mei replied, “If you want to look at them, you can go get them yourself. They’re on my desk. Please open my windows for me while you’re at it. I’m afraid of the cold. I even had the charcoal brazier on today. The minute she walked in, the room was filled with the smell of her cosmetics. I couldn’t take it. I wanted to smoke, but she said smoke bothered her. I opened all the windows along one side, and then she immediately began sneezing, which scared me into closing them. I was afraid that if she did catch a cold, I’d never have any peace.”

  Hung-chien said with a laugh, “I’m afraid I’ll faint, too, so I’m not going up either,” and he told the errand boy to run up, open the windows, and bring down the books. In order to avoid the possibility of making any mistake, the errand boy brought down all six or seven of the Chinese and Western books on Hsin-mei’s desk, including the two plays. Hung-chien opened one of them and found on the flyleaf the words, “For Yi—the author.” Underneath a seal was stamped.

  “Such an affectionate form of address!” remarked Hung-chien. He casually opened to the flyleaf of the other book and exclaimed, “Hey, Hsin-mei, did you see this one?”

  Hsin-mei replied, “She wouldn’t let me look at it right then, and now I don’t want to.” So saying, he reached out and took the book. There were two lines in English: “To my precious darling. From the author.” Hsin-mei let out an exclamation and closed the cover to see who the author was.

  “Do you know this guy?” he asked Hung-chien.

  “Never heard of him. You want to challenge him to a duel?”

  Hsin-mei snorted and muttered, “How ridiculous! How despicable! How disgusting!”

  Hung-chien said, “Are you speaking to me or cursing Fan Yi? She�
�s really strange. Why’d she give you books to read with all this written in them?”

  Hsin-mei’s American vocabulary came out, “You baby! You mean you can’t figure out what she’s up to?”

  “It’s so obvious it makes a person wonder if she could be that obvious.”

  “Never mind her,” said Hsin-mei. “Mrs. Wang is the one who started it all. ‘Whoever ties the bell around the tiger’s neck must untie it.’ I’m going to go see her tomorrow.”

  “Please speak up for me, too.”

  “You aren’t going with me?”

  “No. I can see you’re a little infatuated with Mrs. Wang. I think you’d better not go there very often. People like us lead dull lives. Shut up in this valley with no normal recreation, we are apt to get carried away the moment our feelings are aroused. We’d better avoid stimulating them.”

  His face reddening, Hsin-mei said, “Don’t talk nonsense. That’s your own confession. You’ve probably taken a fancy to someone yourself.”

  Touched on his sensitive spot, Hung-chien said, “All right, go then. Are you going to give Mrs. Wang those two plays to pass on to Miss Fan?”

  “No, that wouldn’t do,” said Hsin-mei. “I couldn’t give them back to her today. She won’t come tomorrow in the hope that I’ll return her visit. I won’t go, of course. The day after tomorrow in the afternoon I’ll have the errand boy return them to her directly.”

  Today’s a bad day, thought Hung-chien. This is the second person to be sending something back. Taking a sheet of paper, he wrapped up the two books and handed them solemnly to Hsin-mei. “I’m wasting one sheet of paper. These books have the handwriting of celebrities on them, so tell the boy to be careful not to lose them.”

  “Celebrities!” snorted Hsin-mei. “Every last one of those writers considers himself a celebrity. It seems that when a person’s fame gets so great he can’t manage it, he’ll divide it up among several pen names. Well, I didn’t do anything today, but I’ve suffered enough. I’ve got to cheer myself up a little. Let’s go out for dinner together.”