The Intrigues of Haruhi Suzumiya

by Nagaru Tanigawa

  I guess I wasn’t the only one who wanted to remind Asahina that it wasn’t that we didn’t want to tell her—it was that she should’ve known without asking.

  I suddenly felt strangely uncomfortable sandwiched between the two silent girls, so I opened the letter and read it.

  The contents of letter #5 were as follows: “This is the end. Please tell your Mikuru Asahina to return to her original temporal posting. You are free to choose the time designation. And location as well, if you like. Do as you will.”

  “Do as you will,” huh? I wouldn’t mind hearing that phrase under different circumstances, just once. From the original Asahina, of course.

  Of course, since this is me we’re talking about, even if that wish were granted, I’d probably just stand there and faint dead away, sleeping soundly until Haruhi came along to pound wakefulness into me. I wasn’t like Haruhi—I wouldn’t wish for the Earth’s rotation to reverse. It was better to just seal away wishes you didn’t actually want to come true. The world was best left as it was.

  Which was why we had to send Asahina back. I placed my hand on the shoulder of the dazed-looking Asahina, and showed her letter #5. She seemed to be more concerned about the sender’s identity than the content, but she read it through to the end, her face showing her acceptance.

  “I understand. I’ve finished what I needed to do.” She then continued, sounding a bit lonely. “But it was an indirect order. If it hadn’t come through you, I wouldn’t be able to return to my own time.” Her sad expression soon disappeared, though, and she smiled. “Someday I’ll be able to do all of this on my own. You’ll see. That’s when I’ll come and save you, Kyon, and everybody else. I don’t know when it will happen, but surely…”

  Her wish would come true, so long as she didn’t lose sight of her resolve at that moment.

  I glanced down at my watch. “So, about the time we’ll return you to…”

  This Asahina had appeared in the broom closet six days earlier, at three forty-five PM, and at the time she’d explained she’d come from eight days in the future, at four fifteen PM— thus her correct temporal posting was two days from now, after four fifteen. Anytime before that, and her situation wouldn’t be any different than it was at this moment. We wanted to avoid another instance of two Asahinas existing simultaneously. A sixty-two-second time lag would do nicely.

  “Two days from now will be Tuesday. Shall we say four sixteen in the afternoon? That way only one minute will pass without your existence. The same place should work—we’ll send you right back into the clubroom’s broom closet.”

  “That sounds fine, since you were the only person in the room then, Kyon,” said Asahina.

  “Uniform and school slippers,” said Nagato, reminding me.

  This Asahina was wearing things she’d borrowed from Nagato. Her school uniform was back at Tsuruya’s house. But if I went with her to get them now, I’d miss the scheduled rendezvous time with the rest of the brigade. I didn’t like the idea of sending Asahina back to fetch them alone either.

  “Let’s do this. You go back to your correct time in those clothes, and I’ll get your uniform and shoes from Tsuruya later today and figure something out.”

  “I will leave that to you, then. Oh, um…” Asahina bowed, then looked up at me seriously, opening her mouth, then shutting it as though having forgotten what she wanted to say. I wondered if it was my imagination that she seemed to be worried about Nagato.

  “It’s… it’s nothing. We’ll talk about it after I get back.”

  It bothered me, but it probably wasn’t too important. If it was something I didn’t need to know about for two days, I wouldn’t worry about it.

  I would not have minded Asahina activating her time-travel mechanism right there on the spot, but she didn’t want to be seen doing it. She wanted a place where she could be alone. We went into the library and escorted Asahina to the girls’ bathroom.

  “Kyon, thank you for everything. I really should thank Koizumi and Tsuruya too.”

  She could tell Koizumi anytime, but Mori would have to be thanked whenever we met her next. As for Tsuruya, I said, she probably already understood, but I’d make sure to thank her too.

  “Well then… Kyon, Nagato—I’ll see you soon.”

  Reluctant to say good-bye right up to the end, Asahina sighed and entered the bathroom. I heard the sound of a stall door closing, but no further Foley reached my ears after that. Nagato looked up quietly.

  “She has disappeared from current space-time,” she explained.

  It was over, then. All I had to do now was wait two days. I left the library with Nagato and heaved a deep sigh.

  “Hey, Nagato. Just since yesterday, Asahina and I have met a time traveler from a different faction and a group that opposes Koizumi’s organization.”

  “I see.”

  “Yeah. So I was thinking maybe the other aliens are also around.”

  “Are you afraid?” Nagato asked, her gaze perfectly still.

  I offered her her own answer. “I am not afraid.”

  You’ve got that right, Nagato. I had the same opinion. I bet Asahina and Koizumi would agree with me too. Us birds of a feather had to get along, I said.

  Nagato faced silently ahead, and I closed my mouth and continued to walk.

  I knew full well that I didn’t have to come right out and say something so obvious. The SOS Brigade wasn’t a group of five people. It was a single unit. There was no need to explain that to the person who’d long since understood that far better than I ever had.

  CHAPTER SEVEN

  At the station front, Haruhi spotted Nagato and me and waved her hands hugely, like a cheerleader with a great flag. Asahina was there, right next to her, with Koizumi a bit removed. Haruhi was in fine form, Asahina had a happier-than-usual smile, and Koizumi made eye contact with me but said nothing, only brushing aside his bangs with a finger.

  “Kyon, Yuki, you guys sure took your time. Where did you end up?” asked Haruhi, entwining her arm around Nagato’s. “Don’t tell me you spent the whole time at the library keeping warm. I guess that’d be okay if there were any mysterious spots around there, though. So were there?”

  “Hell no,” I said.

  There were no books that would suck you into their world upon opening them, nor were there books whose characters would leap from their pages into the real world. Maybe in the stacks of a bigger or older library—but not there, I told her.

  “Good point; we’ll have to try to find a place like that next time, an antique bookstore or something. I’d love to rummage through Tsuruya’s family-only storehouse, but there’s probably nothing but her ancestors’ last testaments.”

  Haruhi started walking without explaining where she was going. Maybe Asahina and Koizumi already knew; they happily followed her. As did Nagato and I.

  I was well aware that putting to Haruhi the question of where she was headed would be pointless. She’d keep walking even if the destination were totally unknown, eventually stopping and pointing at her feet, proudly declaring, “We’re here!” The SS SOS Brigade had Captain Suzumiya at the tiller, and if it were really a seagoing vessel, we’d probably end up in Bermuda. As it was, Haruhi took us to the same Italian restaurant we’d visited the previous day.

  I gazed at Asahina as I ate lunch, full of complicated emotions. She was placidly eating her seafood carbonara with a knife and spoon. It was a calming scene, but soon she’d be heading back in time to flail around for me for days. I wanted to tell her—at the very least, about the kidnapping part.

  As I agonized over it, an irritated Haruhi prodded my plate with her fork.

  “Kyon, what’re you so spaced out about? Got something on your mind? Tell me all about it, and I’ll give you some good advice, as your brigade chief.” Her eyes shone with energy, the eyes of someone happily taken in by even the most childish April Fool’s prank. “Also, about that phone call. Did you forget? The prank call. What was that?”

  “Oh,
that was—” I took a drink of water to buy myself some time. “It was just a stupid joke. I just felt like making a prank call, I guess. I really shouldn’t have. I’m sorry.”

  I glanced briefly at Asahina; Haruhi did likewise. Asahina made a confused expression, her utensils freezing in place halfway to bringing a bite of pasta to her mouth. The next moment, Haruhi’s and my eyes met again.

  “I guess it’s okay,” said Haruhi generously. “Just make it a better prank next time, okay? You’ll get bonus points if it makes me laugh. If you get enough, you can trade ’em in for a special prize from me. But if the joke’s stupid, I’ll dock points without mercy! Remember that!”

  It felt like Haruhi’s roundabout way of asking me to prank-call her. As I was agonizing over having to think of jokes every time I called her, Haruhi and Asahina giggled conspiratorially.

  Once lunchtime was over, Haruhi was happy to call it a day. I’d known this would happen, thanks to (Michiru) Asahina, but it was still impressive to see how after two consecutive days of patrolling, even Haruhi would get tired, though her face remained as energetic as always.

  Asahina hid her smiling mouth with her hand as she nodded to me in parting. Nagato wore her standard lack of expression, and Koizumi had the same pleasant smile I was sick of, as we all went our separate ways.

  After a short while, I caught up with Koizumi.

  “I should thank you.”

  Koizumi smiled as though it were nothing. “You’re quite welcome. The idea is to avoid such things before they happen, so I can’t say this was a total success. The car chase was a bit much.”

  The Tamaru brothers had driven the police car—had they been the real thing? I asked. I doubted if they were even really brothers.

  “Let’s leave it that they’re my colleagues, who sometimes assume the identity of the master of a mansion and his younger brother, sometimes a venture capitalist and his younger brother, and sometimes a pair of police officers.”

  And what about Mori and Arakawa? I’d become particularly suspicious of Mori’s true identity.

  “Is your organization working with Asahina’s and Nagato’s bosses?”

  “Not directly, no. However, we seem to have come to a tacit understanding, and there are even times when we unwittingly work toward the same goal. I myself no longer fully understand this world, and the Agency itself is far from united.” Koizumi shrugged as we walked down the alleyway. “One extreme viewpoint is that there are no aliens or time travelers. That Nagato and Asahina are just pitiful, deluded girls.”

  That obviously wasn’t true, I said. I’d sign a testament if they wanted me to.

  “Ah, but what if Nagato’s magic and Asahina’s time travel are all the actions of Suzumiya, and the girls are mistaken in believing they are the source of such things?”

  If that was the reasoning, you could explain anything that way, I said.

  “Or it might be that it’s not Suzumiya who possesses this godlike power, but someone else.”

  Koizumi was probably trying to add some sarcasm to his smile, but all I saw was his usual handsome face.

  “The eye of the hurricane is calm, but all around it rages a terrible storm. There may be someone who looks in on the center from outside. Are you not the one who’s kept so busy by all these events? If you were the screenwriter, would you cast yourself in such a tiring role?”

  This kind of vague explanation was Koizumi’s specialty. But I owed him one, so I decided to listen, for once, although it was doubtful that I’d be able to remember everything he said. If I had that kind of memory, my grades would’ve been a little better than they were.

  “If I may speak frankly, my current problem is that I seem to be in the minority. If asked which side I belong to, the SOS Brigade comes to mind, first and foremost. My feelings tend toward it, rather than toward the Agency. So this is what I think. If the Agency gave me an order that ran counter to the interests of the SOS Brigade, I might well find myself upon the horns of a dilemma.”

  I had prepared myself to listen to another lengthy speech from Koizumi, but just this once, his digression was a brief one. He gave me an easy way and walked away.

  I returned home and sat down on the floor of my room, which contained Shamisen and Shamisen’s scattered fur.

  My activities with (Michiru) Asahina were finished. Asa-hina the Younger was next. Which meant that I still had work to do.

  In my hand was future letter #6.

  “When everything is over, go to the park.”

  Since #5 had instructed me to return (Michiru) Asahina to her previous time plane, all that remained was to follow the instructions in #6. But still…

  Would everything really be over then? I couldn’t help but feel like there was still something else, though I had no idea why. It was like a tiny sardine bone stuck in my mind.

  But no matter how I turned it over in my head, without any new input there would be no new answers, so I reread all the letters I’d gotten from Asahina the Elder. Even now they were still completely incomprehensible, the presumed merits of our actions utterly baffling. Or so they had been.

  I was looking at the instructions on the third letter.

  “Go to the mountains. There you will see an oddly shaped rock. Move it approximately three meters west. Your Mikuru Asahina will know the place.”

  This was the only one that was linked with Haruhi’s activities. This was the only place where the entire SOS Brigade had been involved. The fruitless treasure hunt. We’d found nothing, as I had known we would…

  I felt like I was on the verge of figuring something out when my sister came barging in to inform me that dinner was ready, and I wound up leaving my room with a nagging feeling. I took a bath after dinner, and midway through washing my hair I’d pretty much forgotten whatever I’d nearly hit upon. By the time I got into the bath proper and submerged myself up to my chin in hot water, the only thought in my mind was that of an early bedtime.

  But then, right at the end of the day, one last order came in. It wasn’t from a time traveler; it was from Haruhi, and it didn’t come via a note in my shoe locker, but instead through my sister, carrying the phone.

  “Kyon, phone! It’s Haru-nyan!” she said, barging right into the bathroom and giving me the handset. I waved my hands and shooed her out of the room, then put the receiver to my ear.

  “Hello?”

  “Hey. Are you in the bath?”

  Haruhi’s voice echoed off the walls of the bathroom. I was in the bathroom, but she’d better not get any weird ideas, I told her.

  “Like I’d ever do that, stupid. Anyway, we’re meeting up at the station tomorrow.”

  Why was she calling me at this hour? She should’ve just told me about this before we split up this afternoon, I said.

  “Aw, c’mon. I’ve got my own circumstances, you know.”

  Did she ever think about anybody’s circumstances but her own? I asked.

  “Oh, whatever! Anyway, we should meet up in the afternoon. Let’s say two o’clock. You don’t need to bring anything.”

  And what about her?

  “That’s my business. Tomorrow at two. Got it? If you don’t come, rest assured you will regret it. Punctuality above all!”

  Haruhi-style phone etiquette involved delivering rapid-fire instructions, then hanging up immediately. I emerged from the bathtub, handset in hand, and thought it over as I toweled myself dry.

  So there was something left, after all. What was it this time? So far this February, Haruhi had started out in ennui mode, then done Setsubun, a treasure hunt, and a two-day search for mysterious phenomena. Would this be the last?

  Hold on—why hadn’t (Michiru) Asahina told me about this? She had never said anything about a station-front rendezvous on Monday. Perhaps she wasn’t involved. Perhaps she hadn’t told me because she’d never known herself—or perhaps she did know and had said nothing.

  I just didn’t want to hear that this part of history never existed.

&nbs
p; Showing up at a specified time, in a specified place was fast becoming a conditioned response for me, and arriving five minutes before two and seeing the rest of the club assembled and waiting for me was more normal than spring following winter.

  For once Haruhi didn’t berate me for tardiness, nor did she head for the café. Instead we went to the bus terminal, where Haruhi herded me onto a northbound bus.

  Asahina, I noticed, was constantly yawning, then hurrying to hide her mouth. When I looked more closely, I saw that Haruhi was rubbing her eyes as though shortchanged on sleep herself. When she noticed me watching her, she gave me a glare and looked out the window as the green of the scenery turned deeper.

  Our bus was bound for the mountains, along the same route we’d taken the other day to reach Mt. Tsuruya.

  The bus stop we got out at was the same too. And just when it looked like we were going to climb to the summit using the same route—

  “If we go this way, it’s the long way around. It was the back way originally. We’re going to go around to the south side and climb from there.”

  Haruhi started striding along, followed by Asahina and Nagato, who evidently had no problem with another hiking session. Koizumi scratched his chin for a moment.

  “Well, shall we go? We’ve gotten this far, so neither of us can back out now—we’re alike in that way,” he said inexplicably, chuckling like a pigeon.

  Haruhi circled the base of the mountain, making for the south side. I started to get an idea of where she wanted to go. I’d been there a couple of times myself recently. Two days in a row, in fact.

  The only things around us other than mountains were dry fields. The first time I’d been here, I’d been climbing up with (Michiru) Asahina. The second time, I’d been descending the mountain with the SOS Brigade.

  Haruhi took the lead up the animal path that led to the spot with the gourd-shaped rock.

  “Of course, no wonder…”

  The day we’d moved the rock, I’d noticed that Asahina seemed to know the way very well. I now saw that it was because she’d been there twice before.