Black Widow, The: How One Woman Got Justice for Her Murdered Brother

by Lee-Anne, Cartier,

  He then went to sleep for thirteen hours. Phil knew the effect Phenergan could have on him.

  We had a fabulous time in Australia. It was the longest we had spent in each other’s company, it was almost like a delayed honeymoon.

  The decision to move to Brisbane had been made by the time we came back to Christchurch.

  Things had been very stressful with my son Adam since we came back from Australia.

  While we were in Australia Adam got himself arrested again. He was put on to a curfew to our address without our knowledge.

  When we came back we were the ones who had to get up when the Police came to check on him in the night.

  We would get home from work and he and his loser mates would be sat in the garage smoking pot. He just took over the house.

  I didn’t realize we could apply to the courts to get him out. We have never been in that situation before. He was looking for a flat and we kept saying to each other, the day he turns eighteen and gets his own flat he can bugger off.

  And we were too scared of Adam. If he was asked to leave we knew we would face the backlash.

  We got to the point where we were going out for meals.

  Phil is a very emotional person and was getting really uptight about it. We were counting down until Adam left but it was really hard on him.

  We were trying to get the house ready to go onto the market in the meantime, knowing we couldn’t do anything while the boy was there.

  Adam moved out at the end of April.

  Once Adam had gone there was an air of tranquillity around the house. It was peaceful and the tension was gone. But that was only for a week or so.

  Our relationship in that week was great.

  On Sunday night it was just the two of us at home.

  As usual for a Sunday evening we watched ‘Bones’ on the TV. He then went to go and have a shave and get into bed.

  I made his lunch for him and then went and had my wash and went to bed.

  We’d had a lovely day.

  About two o’clock I got up because my blood sugars had dropped and I was having a diabetic low.

  I went out to the kitchen and sat down with a piece of toast and a cup of Milo. I fell asleep on the couch with my two cats.

  I don’t know what woke me up, but at about quarter to six on Monday morning I became aware Phil wasn’t up and about and he should have left for work.

  I went through to the bedroom and I found him on the bed.

  I knew pretty well immediately that he was dead. He was so cold and had a grey blue colour around his mouth.

  I went to pieces. I probably ran around the house before I called the police. I didn’t know what to do.

  I have done first aid and knew there was nothing I could do for him.

  It seems like forever before the ambulance arrived and the Police came after them.

  It was just pandemonium from then. I don’t remember much that happened.

  One of the officers wanted a number for someone to be with me. I switched my cell phone on and a text message came through from Phil. It said ‘Im sorry honey I can’t keep going like this. I love you so much. please take care and tell ben i love him.’ The message came through at nine thirty on the Sunday night.

  The police got the text message and then went to the bedroom and found the empty Phenergan packets in his bedside drawer. We went and checked my tablets and they were still there in the kitchen cupboard where I had left them.

  I don’t know where he got those Phenergan tablets from and had not seen them before.

  After that it is all a blur.

  Phil’s mobile phone is still at home. I found it on his bed side table when I found him. I took it out to the kitchen to ring his boss while I was talking to the lady on the 111 call when I was calling for the ambulance. I never did ring his boss although his boss did ring him and the Police answered it.

  About two and a half weeks before that he collapsed at work. It was a Wednesday, the fifteen I think.

  He was taken to hospital by ambulance. To start with they thought he had had a stroke. They ran all the tests and it was all inconclusive. They sent him home.

  About half past seven, quarter to eight, that night he started to feel pretty bad again so I took him to the hospital as they had told me to do.

  Once again they ran some tests and they thought it may be a viral infection and sent him home again with instructions to go and see his own Doctor. I don’t think he did go to his Doctor because he didn’t have time.

  He was a workaholic.

  I don’t know what to think about it all. I know Phil felt he was being pulled in lots of different directions. He had a massive tax debt and they were chasing him. He owed about $50,000. We thought selling the house would help with that. He had the hassles with my son, and his ex. He felt helpless where my diabetes are concerned as well.

  He was an emotional person and could get very very uptight very quickly.

  He would bottle things up and then let rip when we had arguments.

  We had had a lovely day that day.

  I am starting to wonder now whether he knew what he was going to do and so planned the whole day; his way of making sure I had a really good last day with him. That doesn’t make it any easier.

  I don’t think a day went by that he didn’t tell me he loved me at least twice. It used to annoy me at half past four when he left for work if I had gone back to sleep he had to wake me to tell me he loved me before he left.

  I have boxes of cards he ahs given me for no particular reason, just to tell me he had been thinking about me.

  He used to buy me flowers even though things were tight financially.

  I am angry at him for leaving me. We had so many plans together. We always wished we had met back when we were teenagers.

  I feel like I have let him down in some way to think he didn’t feel he could talk to me if he was that low.

  The police and paramedics who attended were fantastic at the time and were very caring.

  [Written] I have read this statement which is true and correct.

  [Signed] Helen Elizabeth Nisbet, 12 May 2009, 2.50 p.m.

  Helen’s second statement was taken on 30 January 2010, close to eight months after she took Phil’s life:

  I, Helen Elizabeth MILNER, State

  This is the second statement I have made to the police regarding the death of my husband, Philip James NISBET.

  Phil died on the 4 May 2009 and, since his death, I understand the Police have been acting as agents of the Coroner to establish the facts.

  I further understand that since I made my first statement there are a number of issues which have arisen and I would like to clarify those points.

  I mentionned in my first statement that I don’t like to carry an adrenaline Epipen because I already carry needles with my diabetes. The reason for this is that, carrying Glucogen as well, if I have a major low and somebody else needs to administer my medication I worry that they will have four similar looking pens to choose from to administer. I would rather not risk being mistakenly injected with an adrenaline Epipen when I need Glucogen.

  On 28 February 2009 I understand from pharmacy records that I brought Fluoxetine. This is an antidepressent. I have been prescribed that for about 16 months. I take nine tablets a day so it is sometimes quite hard to remember which tablets I started taking which, but I think the Fluoxetine was about 16 months ago. It was just life getting on top of me that set it off.

  There is a family history of depression and it was just one of those things that got to the stage I had to do something. Phil knew I was taking them.

  Other medications I am taking include Acupril (blood pressure), Sinvastatin (cholesterol), Aspirin (blood thinning), an Iron tablet with a fancy name I can’t remember, and Amiopedine (blood pressure as well I think).

  I also understand that ‘Carolyn Woodstock’ is recorded as having bought controlled medication from the Pharmacy on 23 January 2009 using my home address. I
don’t know Carolyn Woodstock but my son’s partner is Kasey Woodstock. She was suffering terrible morning sickness around then so it may have been something for that. She and my son Adam were living with us then.

  Phil has never bought Phenergan as far as I know. I have been asked whether I have any knowledge of ‘P Nisbet’ having bought Phenergan in March 2009 from St Martins pharmacy. I have no knowledge of that and I certainly didn’t buy Phenergan then.

  I wasn’t even aware Phil knew what it was until we were in Australia a week or two after that. I haven’t been to St Martins pharmacy for at least three years or so. Phil used to work on Port Hills Road so used to come past the St Martin’s Pharmacy every day though. I last bought Phenergan from Hornby Mall Pharmacy and that would have been maybe two years ago. I am not sure exactly when. I bought it then because we were going away and I needed it in case of insect stings.

  Phil and I had planned to move to Australia, as I mentionned in my first statement.

  We didn’t go through with the plans because the business opportunity Phil had been looking at fell through. I then said I didn’t want to go because I was going to have a grand child here.

  The business opportunity was a ———— branch they were thinking of opening in Brisbane but they then decided not to.

  Phil took that not working out pretty hard.

  When I told Phil I had changed my mind as well he was pretty annoyed but then I pointed out that if we moved out he would not see his kids either. He didn’t seem to have thought that through. He believed in the ideal world and just assumed his kids would go to Australia with him.

  My partner now, Barry ——— and I were living together on and off for about six years before Phil and I got together.

  We had split on very good terms but, having five children between us, with three having mental health issues, it just didn’t work out.

  I hadn’t seen or spoken to Barry in over two years prior to Phil’s death. However my children had kept in touch with him as he helped them with their cars and things.

  Once Phil’s family went home Barry was the one who stuck around and supported me.

  If it hadn’t been for him I may well have been joining Phil.

  One of my boys told Barry that Phil had died and Barry came to the funeral.

  Barry stayed in touch after that, making sure we were all okay.

  Barry is living with me now. He moved in with me in July 2009. He actually moved in as a boarder to start with but our relationship quickly changed back to the way it used to be.

  I have been asked whether Barry was living with me at the time of Phil’s funeral. That is definatly not true. I was so surprised as my biys were to see him walk into the funeral. I don’t think my in-laws would have stayed there for three and a half weeks if he was living there.

  On 28 may 2009 Barry moved out of this home living with ———— in ——— Street in Belfast and went to live in his house Motunau, right opposite the fire station.

  He then moved in to my house at the beginning of July. I was stressed over money so he moved in as a boarder to help me as much as anything.

  Lee-Anne Cartier came and stayed with me in June.

  Barry came around the house then and stayed a couple of nights because we had Lance’s 21st Birthday and he drove us to and from the party in Marshlands Road.

  I certainly didn’t have a conversation with Lee-Anne Cartier that I was worried she had heard me sleeping with Barry. I gave Lee-Anne the queen size bed for her and the girls while I slept in the single bed in what used to be Ben’s room while Barry slept on a camp bed in the lounge.

  My relationship with Phil before he died was not really good.

  I have never said that it was good. We were hanging in there together because it was our second marriage for both of us and we didn’t want a failure again.

  At the start our relationship was fantastic and we had a lovely marriage. But it went downhill.

  The day before he died we also had a wonderful day and I did think that maybe things were starting to come right, but our relationshipo had certainly been hard work before that.

  The Friday before Phil died I can not remember whether I went to work or not. I would imagine so but I honestly can’t remember. I used to have the odd half Friday for diabetes clinic but I really do not know whether I was at work that day or not. I can’t remember.

  Before Phil died we had a lot of money worries. He owed IRD megabucks, I believe around $50,000. He had arrears on child support, there was a car on HP, there was a personal loan that had been taken out for going to Australia and then of course the mortgage.

  We were both guilty of buying things and worrying about paying for it later.

  Phil was also extremely indulgent with Ben, his son.

  Since Phil died nothing has changed. In fact things are probably worse.

  Phil had life insurance for $250,000. There are no other insurances or Superannuations that I’m aware of.

  I do not know whether the insurance will pay out. They are waiting for the full report before they decide.

  Ben was Phil’s youngest son. Most of the time my relationship with him was pretty good. The main problem I had with Ben was the stirring that his Mum did. She knew that if Ben came along and did something that upset us Phil and I would argue and Phil would take Ben out and do things with him and I would be left at home.

  If anything went wrong it was my fault. If he went home and was sick it was my cooking, even if I hadn’t actually cooked for him while he was with us.

  I guess it was typical step child relationship problems.

  Ben did used to go Rowing and used to have to go home on a Saturday night instead of the Sunday because he had to go to rowing. I think it was a retired Police crew or something and he was the Cox on the boat. I am not aware of any friction that caused, although Phil did get upset about having his time with Ben shortened. Ben didn’t give up the rowing and started staying on Sundays again though.

  That sort of thing was just to piss Phil off. It wasn’t because it was something Ben wanted to do or something good for him, it was just done to upset things.

  In Phil’s suicide note it said that Ben was not actually his genetic son.

  I was very surprised when I read that in the note. I know the in-laws have had DNA testing done and say I have lied about it.

  They say I am supposed to have done a DNA test and sent them false results or something, but I haven’t and haven’t told them I have.

  I have told them when we were talking that the only thing I had to go by was Phil’s suicide note and I don’t know where he got that information from.

  If Phil had believed that he would have been absolutely devastated.

  The only thing I have ever thought is that Ben doesn’t look much like his Dad. But that doesn’t mean anything. Everybody sees something different in them don’t they?

  I’ve been asked about a suggestion that I was hanging out washing at 530am on the morning Phil was found. There is not a chance that was the case. It is ridiculous. I am not a morning person.

  I have also been asked about the light being on in the bathroom at 430am that morning. It was not that I am aware of. I was out in the lounge. I had gone to the bathroom myself at around 2am, but that’s all.

  The bathroom light is only visible from one side of the house anyway. That’s the south side. The neighbour there is ————, who was actually away then. He was on Stewart Island because I couldn’t get hold of him at the time and he was gutted he hadn’t been there to support.

  I’ve been asked about a text message conversation with Lee-Anne Cartier where I referred to dialysis and long-term treatment.

  I have been very very sick and been to the diabetes clinic. I was told if I didn’t get my act together I would be on Dialysis in six months and would be on it for the rest of my life.

  She texted me back and told me I was a ‘f’ing liar’ and hadn’t been in hospital. Well I hadn’t been in hospital I had be
en at the Diaibetes clinic. I was not kept in.

  I got abusive text messages from Lee-Anne and her son Lance for a few days after that.

  I actually still have a lot of text messages on that phone.

  I did not text her saying that I had been staying in hospital. I didn’t say long term treatment was necessary, I said it may be, and I didn’t tell her I had to sell Phill’s things to pay the debts.

  They want me to send the pool table that Phil built over to them at my cost. My lawyer has told me I am not allowed to do that because it is part of Phil’s estate which owes the IRD before anyone else can have anything.

  Lee-Anne’s son Lance actually arrived on my doorstep one day to collect the pool table and the Ford Ka saying that Phil had promised the car to Ben.

  I told Lance to take a hike. Lance texted me afterwards, on the 24th August 2009, saying ‘No more lies bitch ur gona gv us what is rightfully ours … Dnt fuck me rnd c*nt. Its up to you how ths goes. Pool tbl and Ben’s car wil b pickd up’

  I have also had other disturbing texts such as when Barry brought his caravan up to the house and within ten minutes I got a text message referring to me staying in a caravan.

  The Ford Ka has been sold now to pay off the finance. I walked away with $17 once it was paid off. It was sold in October. I previously had to keep meeting the payments on it until it was sold.

  I showed a photocopy of the suicide note to Lee-Anne when she was staying with me.

  It was a photocopy of the same note that I gave the police. I think I gave the note to the police before Lee-Anne came over.

  The note was in Phil’s briefcase.

  I understand Lee-Anne doesn’t think the signature looks like Phil’s. I believe the signature on the bottom of Phil’s suicide note did look like his writing. I don’t believe she would have studied it that long as she read it, burst into tears and handed it back to me.

  I have looked at the note again and see now there is no signature.

  I haven’t looked at the copy I have for so long I had convinced myself it was a signature, but obviously remembered it wrongly.