Broken Notes

by Ann Marie Frohoff

  Devon nodded. “Yeah, drums are actually my thing.” He shrugged. “I mean, I play everything, but I started out playing the drums.”

  “That’s awesome, Devon. I had no idea.” He threw me a lop-sided grin and went about his business of turning on the Bose system. Music filled the room.

  I took in a solemn breath, thinking about Dump, and looked at Jake as he stared of into nothing, swigging his beer. He leaned his head back, resting it against the chair, and closed his eyes. My emotions shifted immediately. The last thing Jake needed was to worry about me. I got up and stood in front of him, nudging his knees with mine.

  “Hey.” My lips twitched upward.

  He reached out, grabbing the back of my thigh with his free hand, pulling me to sit down in his lap. My insides swirled with longing to be close to him and for things to be normal – no sickness, no ex-girlfriends, no mom drama.

  He parted his legs a bit more, and I sunk down in between his thighs. My lips brushed against his jaw. “I’m sorry,” I whispered. “I don’t mean to be a pain. I don’t want you to worry about me. I’m a big girl. Worry about Dump…the more important things.”

  His fingers swept across my cheek, cupping it, and his lips hovered over mine. “I’m gonna worry about you for the rest of my life, Alycat.” His warm breath danced over my face, and his lips met mine softly.

  “You two get a room!” Bobby observed, throwing ice at us. “This’ll cool you off!”

  I could hear Devon and Bobby chuckle as I focused back on Jake. “Hey hey,” a female voice sang out, jolting me to look toward the door. “They’d have their own room if you two would leave.” Eva smiled slyly at us, locking in on Jake. Her little red booty shorts and barely-there top showed everything.

  Jake squeezed my hip, and his lips lingered at my forehead. “Great idea,” Jake piped. “Maybe you should all leave.” Jake’s lips curled up, and he half-laughed. A ripple of relief coursed through me knowing he was displaying unity with me, in front of Eva.

  “Let’s do just that, boys.” She turned on her heel and threw Jake and me a cold shoulder. “I’ve got red velvet cupcakes in my room, and Bobby, I know you’re such a sucker for them.”

  She vanished – ugh. Why did every pop star feel they had to practically be naked to be appealing? Eva actually had a killer voice. She didn’t need to display herself like that. I laughed to myself, like I was one to talk. I ran around in little booty shorts and bikinis too – but that was different; they were the required volleyball uniform. Bobby shrugged his shoulders at us. “Duty calls.” He disappeared in a sugar hunt frenzy.

  “I don’t like her,” Devon said flatly as the door clicked shut. To know this made me happy, and I tried to keep myself from smiling, pressing my lips tightly together.

  “Oh you like hearing that?” Jake tipped his head at me, amused.

  I nodded. “Yes. I do.” I jutted my chin out, defiant. “Sorry I’m not sorry.”

  “That’s okay, I don’t like Nathan either.”

  My heart thudded to my stomach, hearing Nathan’s name. Not really sure what it was about, I just shook my head and pushed myself off of Jake, standing.

  Jake looked at Devon. “Why don’t you like Eva? She’s been nothing but cool to us,” he said, finishing off his last bit of beer.

  He shrugged, not looking at Jake, fiddling with something in his backpack. “I dunno. There’s just something off about her. She’s weird.”

  The devil on my shoulder was pumping its fist. I was pleased to know that Devon would potentially become my ally while they were on the road without me.

  A knock came at the door, and Devon hopped up, answering it. A curly-haired PA stuck his head in. “You guys are on in ten.”

  I moved away from Jake and sat back down on the sofa. He grinned at me. “You wanna stay in here while we rehearse? It’s just a quick run through, but you might be able to meet the cast if you come.”

  I was excited to meet the cast. I’d looked forward to it. “I’ll come and watch.”

  As I stepped into the hallway, I saw Marty leaning against the wall right in front of me, his camera was slung across his chest. “Hey Marty.” I smiled, happy to see him. Marty and I stood side stage against the wall, watching the SNL staff of PAs and the prop and stage crew run around, switching and changing stuff out. It was organized chaos. I didn’t fangirl as much as I thought I would when I saw Vanessa Bayer, Taran Killam, and Kenan Thompson. For a moment, I’d wished my visit could have been during the days of Kristen Wiig, Will Farrell, and Tina Fey.

  To be that funny… geez – I watched as Eva ran through her skits and thought anyone could be funny with the material the SNL writers pumped out. Then, as soon as Jake took the stage, Marty moved and had his camera at the ready, shuttering away. They sound checked and played through a song, and just like that, it was over. The stage cleared and Marty met back up with me.

  “Let’s go back to the dressing room. They’re gonna bring in the audience now.”

  I looked over Marty’s shoulder for Jake. He was standing with the Director and Eva. My stomach simmered in aggravation, and there was nothing I could do about it.

  This was Jake’s life. I was just in it.

  16

  Jake

  Aly didn’t say much after the SNL gig, and I knew it was because of Eva. We didn’t have time to talk due to dinner with the band and our agent after our SNL taping. Having people back to our apartment didn’t help, either. She appeared to be having a good time, but I saw the discontent in her eyes. I just hoped she’d snap out of it sooner than later. I had to do what was best for the band, and Eva was still hot shit, only this time, we’d be the headliners.

  Aly brought up moving back to Cali again while we were dozing to off to sleep. I actually seriously considered moving back. Dump should be near his mom anyway while he was battling the big C. He’d yet to tell her of his illness. He’d said he didn’t think she’d care. I refused to believe that. Fuck, it was his mom, after all. I told Aly I’d consider it, but explained to her that there was too much going on overseas with the band in the near future. It’d be some time until I’d be able to make that a reality – it was just too convenient living on the East Coast. Not to mention I really did love New York, but I loved Aly more and I’d just have to see.

  Morning light burned my eyes. I was over squinting at the bright light that always greeted me before I wanted it to. We needed window coverings, stat. I rolled over, and of course Aly was already out of bed. It was 8:30 AM. A rush of adrenaline flowed when I remembered Notting’s text – WE’LL BE THERE AT 9.

  “Aly!” I shouted. I propped myself up on my elbows and saw that the door was shut. I dragged myself out of bed and caught a glimpse of my bare chest in the mirror hanging above the dresser. I’d forgotten about the hickies since they’d been covered so well – my late night shower melted that away. I reached down for my shirt on the floor, slipping it on.

  Walking into the short hallway, I felt the rug beneath my feet, plush and soft. It was black in the middle, with a cream and tan outline. There was a little table with an orchid plant sitting on top of it. Huh – I’d not seen all of Aly’s little homey accents, and it made me smile. I slowly took in all the new details of our apartment that I’d failed to notice as I walked out into the living room, like the zebra-print skin rug that was placed in the foyer under a round dark wood pedestal table – I’d noticed the table before, but not the rug.

  I watched Aly thoughtfully for a moment – she didn’t notice me. She sat with her leg bent up. Her elbow rested on her knee as she pointed the remote at the TV, wearing sheer white pajama bottoms. I could see her perky nipples through her equally sheer white tank top that dipped down, exposing her cleavage. Her hair was tied up on the top of her head in a messy bun – she looked beautifully bedraggled and delicious.

  “Good morning,” I said and practically skipped over to her, diving onto the sofa, laying my head in her lap. She squealed with laughter as I tickled and sq
ueezed her waist.

  “Stop it!” she pleaded over and over through outbursts of giggles. She took me by surprise by punching me in the stomach, knocking the wind out of me. I gasped, and then she gasped.

  “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to punch you that hard,” she said remorsefully, rubbing my belly. “You know I hate being tickled…I’m sorry.”

  “I know, I know…but damn.” I smiled, still lying there with my head in her lap, looking up at her. Her amber eyes smiled at me, making me warm inside. I took her hand in mine, kissing her palm. “I love you, and I love what you did with the place.”

  “I love you more.” She ran her other hand through my hair, combing it and then looked out over the room. “I really hope you do like it.” She nodded happily. “What are you doing up so early?”

  I placed the palm of her hand flat on my chest. “Notting is supposed to be here at nine, and that’s twenty minutes from now.”

  She moaned, and her face drooped. “I can’t look him in the face. Is your mom coming too?”

  “I assume she is.”

  Aly’s head tipped back and thudded against the wall behind the sofa. “Great.” She sighed. “Thank God I’m leaving for yoga…get up.” She nudged me. “I wanna get out of here before they get here.”

  “Aly…”

  “No, please. I just can’t look at them yet.”

  She pushed at my back, helping me to sit up. “We’re gonna go visit Dump. He’s finally back home.”

  She paused at the edge of her seat. “When?”

  “I dunno, probably around noon, maybe.” I scratched my head. “After I get the lecture on how unprofessional I am.” I shook my head. “Maybe I need to hear it.”

  “What’s going on?” Concern laced her voice.

  “I just hadn’t been answering calls from my attorney or the label. That thing I did with Dump, letting our fans know what’s up…it’s not gone over well with the Powers that Be. Apparently we had some agreement with MTV.”

  She gave me sympathetic eyes; then a wry smile sprung to her lips. “You can’t run from this, Jake.” She shook her head.

  I threw her an ironic glare. “Coming from someone who’s running out the door because she can’t be accountable for the injury she’s inflicted up on me?” I teased, playfully looking wounded.

  Her head tilted. With puckered lips, she leered at me. “Okay. You got me.” She tapped her foot. “But really…I was really going to yoga, and I’ll be back in an hour or so.”

  Aly pecked me on the forehead and dashed out of view before I could thread any more words together. She disappeared out of the service door in the kitchen just as the front door buzzer called out Notting and Kate’s arrival – smart girl, I thought. As soon as I opened the door, there was something in Notting’s eyes that looked different. My mother looked like she’d been crying.

  Dump.

  “What’s up? Is Dump okay?” My eyes bounced back and forth between Notting and my mom.

  Notting held up his hand and then clasped my shoulder. “Dump is fine, for now.” He pushed at my shoulder for me to turn around, and we all walked into the living room. “What’s with the somber looks then?”

  “These are somber times, Jake,” my mother replied, and quickly looked away. Like she still couldn’t stand the sight of the hickies or something. “But everything will be okay. It always is. Time heals.”

  I looked at Notting, and the odd look remained in his eyes. “Look guys. I’m sorry about the hickies. It’s embarrassing. Aly’s really embarrassed, and so am I.” I laughed. “We’re just trying to enjoy our time, and things got a little…”

  Notting held up his hand. “It’s okay, son. It’s none of our business.”

  My mother laughed tensely. “I hope you covered those things enough that they didn’t show on your SNL appearance.” She grabbed my chin with her cool fingertips, moving my head from side to side to get a better look. “Jake, really. They may just have a field day with this. You’ll probably get your own skit by next week.”

  Notting burst out in a hearty laugh. “Oh Katie!” he moved next to her and placed his arm around her shoulder, kissing her cheek. Watching him made me smile, but when his eyes met mine, they looked at me differently. Something was going on; I felt it.

  Heavy-footed, I walked to the sofa and they followed me. “Spit it out. Let me have it. What are all the fucking suits sayin’?” I leaned back and sunk down into my seat.

  My mother sat quietly, looking down at her hands. That’s when I knew something was up, and it wasn’t about the band. Maybe they were just as upset about Dump as I was, and they knew something I didn’t?

  “First things first,” Notting began. “This is all very upsetting and shocking about Dump. I’m not sure what the both of you were thinking…” A long dramatic silence pulsed. I kept holding my breath, and finally he continued. “But none of what I was going to say matters, because what’s done is done, and your legions are what matter in the end, I suppose. They’re the ones who fill your pockets.”

  “Exactly.” I threw my hands out, sitting up. “That’s exactly why we went about it the way we did, and Marty was just the guy to do it.”

  My mother huffed. “What’s upsetting is that you didn’t care to let us know! Dump is family, Jake,” she choked. Fuck, she was about to cry.

  “Katie…” Notting reached for her leg, giving it a consoling rub.

  “Mom, I’m sorry. Dump didn’t want anyone to know for as long as he could hold on.”

  She continued to tear up, shaking her head. “Jake, it’s just such a surprise, a horrible, dreadful thing. There are too many surprises these days.” She sucked in a breath and suddenly got up and left the room. I assumed she was going to the bathroom, since that’s what girls did when they got upset.

  “Wow.” I slumped deeper into the sofa, wanting to sink into the fibers. “This is heavy shit.”

  Notting cleared his throat. “Yes. Indeed.” He paused, clearing his throat again, rubbing and stretching his neck from side to side. His tattoos moved animatedly on his skin as he tried to rub out the tension. “One of the issues is that Universal is not happy. They had an Agreement with MTV, and it’s caused a problem and…”

  “And what? So?” I raised my voice. I gave zero fucks about what the label wanted anymore. We’d given them too much already. Sure they gave us a break, but they took full advantage for the first two records. “I read that contract with our attorney and Dump, and there’s no clauses in there that we’d be in breach.”

  “It was a booking, Jake, an interview, and live exclusive performance of the new music. But you’d know that if you’d answer your phone. Hell, I haven’t even heard the final masters.” He raised his voice. “I had to hear it on YouTube. The fuck?” He shook his head and gestured at me with open arms.

  Shit, a swear word – now I knew he was upset.

  “All of sudden, things are goin’ all wonky again. Where’s the communication between you and I?”

  Wonky again? His comment made me think of Aly. “Look, I’m sorry. I hope you’re not insinuating that me not communicating has anything to do with Aly.” My tone was measured, but I was about to erupt. “I just got back in town, and Aly didn’t travel with me. She was here.”

  “She wasn’t with you at all?” His forehead rose.

  “Nope.”

  He nodded, surprised. “I’m impressed.”

  “Impressed?”

  “That Aly is independent of you.”

  I didn’t want to discuss Aly with him. Notting sighed and called out my mother’s name. “Katie love? You alright?”

  “Yes. I’m just looking around,” she said as she walked back in the room, composed. “I love the furnishings, Jake. Much more comfortable and inviting.” She smiled sweetly at me.

  “It’s all Aly. I was just telling Notting here that Aly didn’t go with me on this last trip.” My mother’s eyes flashed wide, mildly shocked. “She stayed here getting acclimated and getting t
he apartment ready.”

  “I see,” she said, glancing around the room, and sat next to Notting. He rubbed her back affectionately, looking at me with a tight-lipped grin I couldn’t place. Something in his eyes made me feel weird inside; my mother, too, was acting strangely. She looked at Notting. “When is Dump expecting us?”

  “At noon. Sienna says he sleeps until about 11.”

  “Aly will be back about 10:30 or so,” I informed.

  My mother nodded, and Notting moved to get up. “Welp my love. I’m going to take a walk and make some calls. I will meet you at Dump and Sienna’s at noon.”

  Wait, what? Notting looked at me for a long moment with his mouth open like he wanted to say something to me, but nothing ever came out. He turned back to my mother and kissed her on the lips. Wow. He’d never done that before in front of me.

  “Where are you going, and why is she staying here?” I looked back and forth between them. “Sorry Mom, but you know what I mean.”

  She smiled softly. Restless, she sighed. “You and I need to talk.”

  “I’ll see you soon, son.” Notting squeezed my shoulder firmly and walked out the door.

  “What’s up?” My insides began to ball up. The last thing I wanted was to get a solo lecture from her, Jesus Christ.

  “Are you sure Aly won’t be home soon? Maybe we should go walk in the park.” She was fidgeting with her purse handle, and I could see that each breath she took was deeper and deeper.

  “Mom, look, if you’re wondering what’s going on with Aly and me…I asked her to marry me and I’m not sure what our…”

  Her mouth hinged open. She closed her eyes and held up her hand. “Stop. I don’t want to talk about Aly. What ever you decide with Aly, I’ll support you. I’m actually surprised you two haven’t eloped yet.”

  My heart started to race as my thoughts darted back to London and her surprise visit there six months ago. “Are you sick?”

  She smiled, and her eyes closed shut again. She shook her head no. No, yes, I don’t want it to be true? Or No, no, I’m fine?