Dying To Live

by Sam Carter

  “Can I do something for you?” Luke asked, but without a hint of an Australian accent. Maybe this wasn’t Luke Masterson. Maybe Harlan was indeed a fool.

  “No. Sorry. It’s been a long day for me. At first glance you looked like someone familiar.”

  “I get that a lot. I’ve got one of those faces.”

  “I guess you do. But now that I’ve got a closer look, I was way off. You’re not him at all.” Harlan was lying. The American accent truly wasn’t that close and did not hide the fact that Harlan knew it was Luke. There was no denying it. But he had to try. He had to lie, and he hoped it was convincing.

  “No worries. I get it. Just be careful not to stare so much at people. Didn’t your mother tell you it’s not polite to stare?” Luke said as he stepped close enough to Harlan that they were almost eye to eye.

  “She, um, did. I apologize. I just have a lot going on and you caught me, or who I thought you were, caught me off guard. Again, I’m very sorry.”

  “Apology accepted. Let’s just forget it. And it’s nice to meet you, Dr. Allred,” Luke said as he jabbed his finger into the name badge on Harlan’s chest. “Thank you for all you do for the children and the families of this city.” He reached out and grabbed Harlan’s hand with a grip so tight, Harlan thought his hand might explode.

  “Thanks, I appreciate it. I don’t think I caught your name.” But before Luke could answer, he turned and was gone. And for what seemed like the thousandth time in just the past few days, Harlan was left confused and afraid.

  ***

  “What took you so long?” Clara asked Harlan as he approached her in the parking lot. “I was beginning to think Lucy had you preoccupied.”

  “No, no, it’s nothing like that.”

  “What is it then, Harlan? You look like you saw a ghost.”

  “Something like that. Something very much like that.”

  “Well? What happened? Come on,” Clara said after enough silence for her to know he wasn’t going to say anything more. “What’s going on?”

  “It’s just. I, um. I don’t know how to explain it. And, I don’t really want to try to tell the story twice. Can we wait until we are in the car with Cole?”

  “Sure. But you’re not driving. Not with that lost look on your face.”

  “Whatever. Let’s go find Cole.”

  Harlan was completely silent while he lay in the back seat of Clara’s Mercedes Benz as they drove to Cole’s apartment in downtown Seattle. In fact, the only thing he said was insisting they take Clara’s car. Call it paranoia. He didn’t care.

  Both Cole and Clara stayed quiet, too, as if they knew it wasn’t wise to ask Harlan anything at all. It stayed that way until Harlan broke the silence.

  “I saw Luke Masterson. He was walking outside the hospital at the same time I was.”

  “Is that why you’re acting this way? Starstruck? It’s gotta be exciting to be so close to your real-life crush,” Cole said as he and Clara exchanged smiles.

  “It’s not like that at all. It was strange. Not just strange. Terrifying. He pretended he was someone else. He had a completely fake American accent. And the look in his eyes. It was cold. I guess I might even say it was evil. I don’t know.”

  “That is strange. Crazy strange.”

  “Come off it, you two,” Clara said. “He’s a celebrity. He was probably just trying to avoid crazed fans, especially because he’s been missing.”

  “Good call. Plus, you’re probably just seeing those things because of everything going on and with what Samson said in those tweets to you. The mind can play tricks like that.”

  Harlan thought about that for a moment. “I guess that makes sense. Maybe it wasn’t even him. I don’t know what’s going on anymore.”

  “True. So, how was it?” Clara asked while giving Harlan some odd wink like he knew what she was talking about.

  “How was what? Meeting Masterson? I already told you that.”

  “Really? You know what I mean. How was your alone time with Lucy McHotty Pants? Did you get some action?”

  “Hold up,” Cole said with a shocked look on his face. “Who’s this Lucy? And are you blushing? Are you some sort of teenage girl?”

  “I did what I had to do to make sure Clara got the sample. That’s all.”

  “That’s all? Give me a break. And speaking of breaks, is that where you took her? To the infamous break room?” Clara said with an ever-widening smile.

  “Am I the only one who doesn’t know what goes on in that room? Have you used it for more than taking a break from work?”

  “Me? That’s funny. Do I look like I need to use the break room to get some? Puh-lease.”

  “So spill it, buddy. How did you distract this McHotty Pants? I’m guessing you probably made her cry? Game is probably still on point.”

  “If it will shut you two up I’ll tell you. I tried as hard as I could to play Harlan Bawl, but she wasn’t having it. She wanted this.” Harlan did his best impression of Vanna White and showcased his face. “So, she got some.”

  “You hooked up with a nurse at work? Well, well, well. Dr. Allred has joined the hospital’s mile high club,” Clara said, giving Harlan that wink once again.

  “It wasn’t like that. She kissed me. I didn’t stop it because I was trying to give you time to get what you needed.”

  “And because you liked it, too. Don’t lie.”

  “That too,” Harlan said with a sheepish grin. “At the same time, I didn’t. It felt dirty and wrong. Plus . . .” Harlan stopped talking and stared out the window with a look that was faraway.

  “Plus what?” Cole said. “Don’t leave us hanging.”

  Harlan waited a moment, unsure if he should really say what was on his mind. But he knew he could trust these two people, both to understand and to make fun of him relentlessly for it.

  “It was the first time I’ve had any contact like that with a woman since Emily. I wish it weren’t, but it was.”

  The car went silent. Cole and Clara exchanged quick glances, like they were trying to figure out which way to go with this one. And it was Cole who made the first move.

  “First contact with a woman? Did you just say contact? Can you not use grown-up words, like ‘action’? Come on, say it. It’s the first time you’ve gotten any action from a lady in a long time.”

  “Wow. You sure haven’t lost your incredible wit. Hilarious,” Harlan said with a grin and a bit of a chuckle. It was amazing how Cole could always find a way to get him to do that even in the darkest of times. “Although, I did walk right into that.”

  “Yes, you did. You always make it so easy for my incredible wit to reveal itself.”

  Harlan was happy, not because of the conversation, but because it was finally over. And it wasn’t because Cole and Clara didn’t have any more to say on the subject, but because they were pulling up in front of Cole’s apartment.

  As they got out of Clara’s car, Harlan noticed something parked on the side of the road.

  “I thought your car was missing, Cole. It looks fine to me.”

  Cole did a double take once he noticed that his car actually was where it should be. He had a look of disbelief, like he never thought he would see it again.

  “Good. She brought it back.”

  “She?” Harlan said. “She? You’re not saying that June’s back, are you?”

  “Back and better than ever, my friend. She showed up a few days ago needing some help. So . . .”

  “So you gave in, thinking this time she had changed.”

  “Guilty as charged. As always.”

  “What are you two talking about?” Clara interrupted their conversation.

  “June is Cole’s multiple-time lover. She shows up unannounced and sweeps Cole off his tiny little feet with promises of never leaving him again. Then she runs away after she’s sucked him dry. It never changes.”

  “That is absolutely not true. My feet aren’t tiny.”

  The three of them walked t
oward Cole’s apartment to get down to business. But just as they were about to walk through the doors, just as Harlan was going to go do something that he loved, just as he was going to get hands-on for the second time in the last few hours (albeit in a very different, but equally enjoyable way), his phones rang. Both of them. At the same exact moment. One from his new best friend and the other from the hospital. Both calls he needed to take. Both calls of immeasurable importance. Cole and Clara stared at Harlan while he stared at his phones, unsure of what he was going to do.

  Chapter 30

  Luke kicked himself. He had let his guard down. He had allowed himself to celebrate his victory over Josie which almost got him caught by some guy, some doctor. Some doctor who looked familiar, and whose name sounded familiar, too. There was something about him that rubbed Luke the wrong way. But he didn’t have time to worry about that now.

  Who was this voice in the shadows? Why was Josie, who never seemed afraid of anything and had the backing of some pretty horrifying people herself, terrified of this person she had never seen? It made no sense to Luke. He needed to focus his attention, all his attention, on finding out who this person was and putting an end to whatever he was trying to do.

  At this point, Luke’s anger was bordering on out of control. He was sick of all the people he was forced to surround himself with and their inability to keep pace with him. Every single time in every situation, they proved they didn’t have the brain power to get things done right. Maybe they were doing things right in their worlds, but not in his. And his world was always right.

  Now he was in the unusual situation of being a step behind someone. Some voice. Some shadow. And this made his blood boil.

  Luke headed toward a seat in the dark parking structure. He needed to sit for one second and think. He needed to figure out how to get that step back and then get ahead.

  He didn’t make it to his seat before his head began to spin with an uncontrollable rage he hadn’t experienced since he had felt trapped by his parents. He had successfully kept this rage dormant for years. But now it was back, and he could not stop it. He wasn’t sure he wanted to.

  His parents. Hadn’t Kenji said he knew what Luke had done to his parents? How could he? No one knew. No one would ever know. They couldn’t. He wouldn’t allow it.

  Then why had he said it? Was it just a way to get Luke to give Kenji what he wanted? Just another trick of The Master? It wasn’t like Kenji to lie. He always used the truth to get what he wanted. That meant he knew, and he probably wasn’t the only one.

  Luke needed to sit down. He needed to regroup, to clear his mind. But no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t. He could see his parents, their helpless bodies trapped. He could hear them. He could actually hear them.

  “Luke. You’re a failure. A loser. Did you think you could always keep us hidden? Did you think no one would figure out where we were?” Luke’s father said to him. It was a sound he hadn’t heard for years and one he knew he would never hear again. So, why was he hearing it now?

  “What are you doing here? How, how did you get out?”

  “It was simple, honey.” Now his mother was here, too. “That nice Japanese man came and let us out. He said you missed us.”

  “No, he didn’t. You can be so stupid. I can see where Luke gets it from.”

  “You shut up! Both of you shut up. You can’t be here. I killed you. I left you both to suffer and rot. I killed you both!”

  Luke was yelling. Without even noticing, he picked up a stray backpack that someone had accidentally left behind and smashed it against the wall where his parents were standing. But no one was there. He was alone. His parents were not there. They were gone just as quickly as they had come.

  Why was this happening to him again? Everything he had worked for was slipping through his once-tight grasp. He was letting Josie and Kenji win. He was letting his idiot parents win. And it was all because of some stupid voice. Some voice had stepped in and ruined everything he had been working for.

  That was it. The voice. He had caused the problems. He was the one Luke needed to be focused on. No one else mattered anymore. Once he found this voice, once he tracked him down, he would make him pay. Then his plan, the plan he had worked on for so long, would continue until it was finished.

  Chapter 31

  Harlan looked at each phone trying to figure out which one to answer. Both were important. Both needed his attention now. Neither could wait.

  “Answer the phone!” Clara yelled at Harlan, snapping him out of his current state of confusion.

  “Which one? Which one do I answer?”

  “You’ve got to answer the one from the dude threatening your family. That’s obvious,” Cole said, and Clara agreed.

  “But what about the hospital? The patients?”

  “Here. I’ll do you.”

  “You’ll do what?”

  “Give me your phone. I’ll do my impression of you. You kiss one girl and your mind goes straight to the gutter, you pervert. The hospital will never know the difference.”

  “Right. Good call,” Harlan said as he handed his phone to Cole and flipped open his new phone of doom.

  “What now?”

  “Your mother must be so proud of your manners. And what took you so long to answer your phone? I was beginning to think you had decided to become foolish.”

  “Why does it matter? I answered. What do you want?”

  “I want to know why you’re not home yet. The cops will be there soon and your not being there would be a failed test. All it takes is one failure, and Jack is mine.”

  “Soon? You said it wouldn’t be until later tonight. If you know everything, then why didn’t you tell me the time earlier?”

  “I’m telling you now. A simple thank you is all you need to say.”

  “I’m positive you’ll never hear those words come out of my mouth.”

  “Harlan, Harlan, Harlan. Your lack of gratitude is disturbing. Have I steered you in the wrong direction yet?”

  “My lack of gratitude? For what? I’m supposed to be grateful to some person whose holding me hostage by threatening to harm my children? Are you insane?”

  “I’m completely sane. Completely in control. And it would be important for you not to forget that and listen to everything I tell you. Go home. Now. And wait for my instructions. Follow them perfectly.”

  “Fine. I’ll go. But this needs to be it. This has got to be it.”

  “Oh, good Doctor. We are just getting started. And you’re about to find out this is much worse than you can imagine.”

  “What is that supposed to mean? How can this possibly get worse?” Harlan yelled into the phone. But it was to no one, because once again the voice was gone.

  “I can’t do this anymore,” Harlan said as he slumped down to the pavement. “I just can’t.”

  Clara sat down next to Harlan and put her arm around him. “Can’t do what anymore? What did he say?”

  “I have to go home now. The cops will be there soon, and I have to do what he says or . . .” Harlan trailed off because he just couldn’t say Jack’s name and what might be done to him. “I can’t be this guy’s puppet. I can’t.”

  “You look more like a Muppet to me anyway,” Cole said as he sat down on the other side of Harlan.

  “Thanks, I think. Either way, I don’t want to be controlled by anyone. I let alcohol do that for too long. I can’t let that happen again.”

  “Then don’t. You can still follow his instructions just enough that he thinks you’re in his control. Keep Jack safe but do it your way,” Cole said.

  “How? How do I do that?”

  “Honestly, I don’t know exactly. But I know, we know, that you’ll figure it out. Now go home.”

  “Wait. First tell me what the hospital said. Provided they bought you pretending to be me.”

  “They bought it. I’m that good. I believe it was your McHotty Pants who called. And she does sound like she has some hot pants.”
<
br />   “Get on with it. What did she say?”

  “Mostly she was checking in. She was worried about your daughter, but don’t you worry, I kept your lie going. Also, I guess the patients aren’t having the best of nights. They’ve started throwing up all over with serious muscle twitching. She wanted advice.”

  “Great. What did you tell her? Nothing stupid, I hope.”

  “Me? Say something stupid? Have I ever? Don’t answer that. I told her only basic stuff she probably already knew. Keep them hydrated. Give them some meds for pain. Call the on-call doctor. And I will, or you will, be in later once your daughter is stable. That good enough, Doctor?”

  “Actually, that is pretty good. Either you’ve been watching a lot of medical shows or I’ve rubbed off on you,” Harlan said with a little unexpected grin. “Clara, will you call Lucy in a few minutes? Tell her I asked you to check in while I’m busy.”

  “You got it. Do you want us to wait to test the blood until you get back?”

  “No. Please start it now. Do everything you can to find out what is in there now. I’ll call once I’m done with the cops.”

  “Will do. Wait.” Cole ran inside his apartment and came back before Harlan even really noticed he was gone. “Take this.”

  “Another phone? You think I need another phone?”

  “A phone that your voice friend doesn’t know about. One that’s safe for us to talk on. Got it?”

  “Got it. Good thinking, buddy. Good to see you using that brain again.”

  “One last thing though,” Cole said with a smile as Harlan began to drive off in Clara’s car. “I think you’ve got a date with Lucy this Saturday. You can thank me later, buddy.”

  Chapter 32

  “Who were you talking to?” Dr. James barked at Lucy as he turned the corner. He terrified her, absolutely terrified her. And the fact that she was talking to Dr. Allred made her even more terrified. Dr. James would go through the roof if he found out. He always did. She decided the best thing to do would be to just rip the Band-Aid off and tell the truth.