by Valentina F.
"Cat...Baby...how are you? I've been trying to call you all night but your phone's off. I was worried to death!"
Blondie looks at me sideways and bites her lip to keep from laughing. "I think the battery's dead...or something."
He holds her close and I have to turn and look the other way because I hate the way he touches her so much I instinctively want to throw him across the street. I hate how they're so close but, God knows, I can't even say 'Ah' without one of them eating me alive.
He looks at her carefully. "What the fuck happened?"
"The usual. You leave me on my own, I get into trouble and everyone gets worried!" She plants a kiss on his cheek and ruffles his hair. "It was a good thing I was in the house, though. If he'd taken all our stuff it would have been awful." She offers him her croissant and he snatches a mouthful.
"Can we go inside?"
"Not yet. The police should be here in half an hour," I intervene. "All three of the girls are going to have to go in with them to make an inventory of what's missing. Where's Jess, by the way?"
"We left together but she was too slow, so I took off." Mark takes Cat's cup and takes a long swallow of her coffee.
"Mark, let her eat her damn breakfast!" I exclaim, but they both turn to look at me, Cat frowns and Mark...well, it takes him less than half a second to put two and two together.
Then Thomas’s pick-up pulls up in the driveway and Erika leaps out. "Cat!"
Blondie jumps up and runs toward her. "I'm okay, he didn't take anything." As they hug each other, Thomas joins us. "I put your valuables in a backpack and took them over to Ben's."
"My God...how scary. I only got your message this morning, my phone was off."
Erika, too? Seems like it was an interesting night all around…
"The police will be here soon to remove the tapes, but we have to wait for Jessica and go in all together."
"I had money in my nightstand, for rent, food shopping, bills..."
"Don't worry, we got it back." Cat's sweet smile calms her down instantly.
Jessica is the last to arrive, her huge eyes full of tears, a terrified expression on her face. I hurry over and wrap my arms around her.
"Hey, what's with the puffy eyes? Nothing's happened."
She buries her face against my chest and breathes deeply. "Ben, I was so scared...do you think we'll ever get a little peace?" She sniffs and pulls away to look at my face.
"Of course, we will. He was some harmless small-time thief who probably thought the house was empty. We'll install some security lights and reactivate the alarm."
She nods and lets out a deep sigh. "How's Cat doing?"
"Good, I think. You know Cat, she's a tiger!" I can't hide my smile when I think of her.
"Okay. Did she sleep at yours?" She looks at me inquiringly and there's no need to answer, happiness is written all over my face.
Without saying anything, I steer her over to the others, we'll have plenty of time to talk later. This time, before I do anything stupid, I really need to ask her advice.
"Jess, can I come in?" Just for once I decide to knock instead of busting in.
"Since when do you ask for my permission?" she jokes.
I sniff and tiptoe into her room, closing the door behind me. I turn on the stereo and sit in her cozy rocking chair which, over the years, has become our confession seat. When we need to talk about something important, one of us sits in the chair and the other immediately knows the situation is serious.
"Is she still engaged to Leonardo?" I get straight to the point. I just spent three incredibly long, nerve-wracking weeks without her. Not one of my friends ever mentioned her in front of me and whenever I tried to ask about her they changed the subject.
"Not really..." Jessica sits down on the rug in front of me.
"What does that mean?"
"Ben, tell me you're serious about her and I'll tell you everything I know."
My temper flares immediately. "I've always been serious about her. I can pretend all I want, but you, more than anyone, knows it's not true. I can't get her out of my head and I just want to understand..."
"I know she's going to break up with him as soon as she gets to Italy but I don't know if she'll be brave enough to go through with it. I don't know if she wants to be with you, though. You treated her like shit at her birthday concert. Shit, Ben, that was too much."
I throw my head back with a groan and cover my eyes. "I know, I fucked up...again. I was pissed at her, but it wasn't all my fault. She let that ass boyfriend of hers put that ring on her finger then ran after me to tell me it wasn't what I thought. She says one thing then turns around and does another, Jess. I didn't know what else to think that day."
"I know, but Kris told you, like a hundred times, to go talk to her, to change the set list. That way you would have known Leonardo left a day early, that they'd had a terrible argument, and she gave him back the ring the same night she ran after you in the garden and you never even spoke to her! Shit, Ben. You were the one flirting with Alex in her own house on her birthday."
"She gave him back the ring that same night?" I ask, my eyes wide open in shock. "Why didn't you tell me?" I'm shouting now and Jessica glares at me. "You know nothing happened with that girl," I quickly add. I never would have gone with Alex just to spite Cat. I've learned my lesson.
"If you raise your voice with me, Benjamin Carter, I'll kick you out." She points her finger at me. "You need to calm down. Stop blasting each time things don't work out for you. Cat's a good girl and you explode into her life like some damn kamikaze, laying down all the rules...you can't do that anymore."
I hate it when she's right. "I miss her, okay? I'm an idiot and I want her back, whatever it takes. Last night..." I'm not going to tell her we made love, it's not just my secret, it’s Cat’s, too. "She slept in my bed and...I tried to get her out of my head, to ignore her, but it didn't work. She...she takes my breath away."
"That's some crush you have there!" She smiles sweetly. "I've never heard you talk like that before, and I've never seen you in this sorry state, even when you were with Maddy."
I let out a deep sigh. "Maddy and Cat are completely different people and they love differently. With Maddy, none of it was real, with Blondie...well, she deserves everything."
"Listen. She's calm now and totally focused on college. I don't know if she wants to get back with you but I am sure of one thing: if you fuck up this time, and that includes dedicating stupid ass songs to her and screaming like crazy each time you don't agree with her, you'll lose her forever."
"I won't. I'll behave, I swear. You think you can persuade her to come tonight?"
"I'll try."
"It's important." I'm almost begging now. I need Cat to come tonight, to hear me one last time before she goes back to Italy.
44
I finish packing my suitcase, trying not to think about what happened just a few hours ago. And I don't mean the burglar, I hardly remember him. I mean, Benjamin, unfortunately. At the thought of his hands, his mouth, my heart starts racing. I touch my lips and close my eyes for a moment. I don't know what's going to happen now. When the police left and told us we could go home, Ben disappeared and I haven't seen him since. There's a nagging little voice inside me that continues to repeat, over and over, that it meant nothing to him. I was already in his bed and he took advantage of my availability.
No, I can't believe it. I refuse to believe it. You can't make love to someone like that, pretending you care when you don't. He said I was his, that he missed me, he asked me not to leave...he can't have faked it, he's not capable.
I have to get out of my room and stick to my schedule for the day. I need to do some Christmas shopping; gifts for my friends and a tree to put them under.
I pull on a pair of jeans and a sweatshirt and grab my things, checking my iPhone for the thousandth time. Still no message from him...
My first stop is Victoria's Secret. I choose three, very sexy baby dolls for my
girlfriends and, while I'm here, I get one for myself, too. The second store I hit is Abercrombie and Fitch. I pick out a couple of brightly colored polo shirts for Mark and, as his body is pretty much the same as Mark's, get the sales assistant to try them on.
That leaves Ryan and Kris and I have no idea what to get them. I hardly know them and wander from store to store, hoping to be struck by divine inspiration. In the end, I find a store that sells weird gadgets and choose a portable mini refrigerator for Ryan. It's so tiny, it holds just one can of Coke or beer, and you plug it into your PC with the USB port. I have last minute inspiration when it comes to Kris and hurry down to the sports store on the first floor, where I get him an Italy soccer shirt with Matching Scars printed on the back. One of the few things I know about him is that he loves playing soccer on the PlayStation and always chooses Italy as his team. Not to mention the fact that he made me tell him, down to the finest detail, what it was like when Italy won the World Cup in 2006. I was a kid to be honest and remember very little...and cared even less, so our conversation lasted about ninety seconds.
Next stop is Starbucks for a cappuccino to go. My gift for Ben must be extra-special and I have no idea where to start. I sip my cappuccino, browsing around the stores but there's nothing that catches my eye, that's special enough or personal enough. I want to give him something that makes him understand that I'm committed, that I choose him, that I know him, that he's important to me. Very important.
A small group of kids outside the record store suddenly catches my attention and I head over there. What about CDs for Ben? Nah, too banal, and I wouldn't know what to get him anyway. He has an awesome music collection but I don't think he has a CD player in the house. Nobody does, now I think about it.
I walk over to the kids and stop two boys who are jumping in excitement. "What's happening?" I ask, when I notice they're holding tickets.
One of them holds up a ticket for the Breaking Benjamin concert in Orlando.
"You need tickets, too?" a salesgirl asks when I get to the counter. "They're on presale just for today, otherwise you'll have to wait till January fifteenth."
It's the perfect gift and I know he'll love them. "Yes, two tickets, please."
"Which section?" She doesn't even look at me, intent on scrolling down the computer page. "We have the pit area, VIP front of stage pit area, then..."
"Two VIP pit area, please," I interrupt her. "What day's the concert?"
"July 21st."
I smile when I realize I won't be able to go with him, I'll have left almost a month earlier, back to my life in Rome. I have to smile, because the alternative is bursting into tears. "Okay." I hand her my credit card then put everything away in my purse.
He'll be speechless.
My last stop is a greetings card shop and I choose a stupid one for Ben. It has a reindeer with a red plastic nose on the front, and plays a Christmas song when you open it, then I pick out a small Christmas tree with LED tips. Perfect.
I return home weighed down with shopping bags and I'm pleased to see that, for once, the house is free of my roommates, their boyfriends, and our next door neighbors. I lock myself in my room and wrap my gifts, then I set the Christmas tree up in the family room. It doesn't feel a lot like Christmas in Orlando. The shops may be brightly decorated, with Christmas trees everywhere, but this infernal heat makes it seem surreal.
Christmas is synonymous with cold weather, snow, hot chocolate, and panettone. Here, the most you can do is cool down with a lemon popsicle and a fruit juice.
"Wow! Where did that come from?" Jessica asks, making me jump.
"I can't imagine a house without a Christmas tree, so I bought one." I shrug and flash her a grin.
"It's beautiful. Mark's going to be so happy. For weeks now he's been saying he wants to get one. You all packed?" She sits down at the island and pulls a stool out for me.
"I think so. I just have to remember to go to the market and get a couple of things for my dad." I make a face and she laughs.
"Are you coming tonight?"
"I don't know. I'm up early tomorrow morning..."
"Come on, Cat. It's going to be incredible, everyone will be there. The December holidays start tomorrow, you have to come and say goodbye."
And say goodbye to Ben, too? What do I tell him? "I'll think about it, promise."
"I think Ben hopes you'll be there...I mean, after last night..."
My cheeks flush with embarrassment. What the hell has he told her? I should have known. She's his best friend, they have no secrets.
"Oh, yes...and what has he told you?"
"Not everything, but I know Ben, I know when he's keeping something from me." She gives me a mischievous smile and I roll my eyes. "He just said you slept over at his house, he didn't go into detail."
"As usual, whenever I'm in danger he's there, ready to save me. But we know what he's like, after a brief moment of respite, he disappeared."
"He's at college. He has a very important exam this afternoon." She hangs her head on one side and watches my reaction.
"I didn't know." I get up from the stool and lean against the table. "But, if you think about it, it's weeks since I've known anything about him, so..."
"Come tonight. Do it for me, if you don't want to do it for him. He'll behave himself, I promise. If he doesn't he'll have me to deal with."
"I'll think about it." I kiss her on the cheek and go back to my room. I need a shower, to clear my head.
Everything's ready: suitcase, carry-on, purse, passport, boarding pass. I wait for everyone to leave then rush to the family room with my thousand packages, placing the pink, striped Victoria's Secret ones to the front. I prop Ben's gift between the branches of my tiny Christmas tree, the red envelope standing out among the colored lights.
I promised Erika I'd swing by the bar and say goodbye and quite honestly, now that I'm all alone in the house, I can't wait to get out.
I stand in front of the mirror and it takes me forever to decide what to wear. In the end, I choose a black and white polka-dot mini and a black bodice with a square-neck, cut low on my chest.
I do my hair up in a messy side braid and straighten my fringe, so it hangs to one side, then add a bright red lip-gloss to my light makeup, which makes me look older.
A short while later, with my heart pounding in my chest, I climb out of my car and head toward the front door of the bar. I almost have a heart attack when I see Ben standing outside with Sarah, the new backup-singer. She's wearing skin-tight leather pants and a skimpy little top that shows off her belly. She's totally gorgeous and I'm totally jealous. Ben immediately notices me and his smile widens instantly, but I find it impossible to smile back. I hate the fact he's out here with her. I hate the fact he's talking to another girl.
"Hi!" His raspy voice immediately takes me back to last night, when he was all mine, far away from the world.
"Hi."
"You remember Sarah?"
How could I forget her?
"Yes, sure. Hi, Sarah." I make a massive effort to smile at her, trying hard not to show how annoyed I am.
"Hi, Cat. I'm so glad you're here. My brother's inside, he’s with us, at our usual table."
That's when I want to slap her. Who does she think she is? With 'us'? There's no 'us' that includes 'her'...there's me and my friends and her and her pimply brother. She's glad I'm here? I've always been here.
"I'll see you inside." I stride past her without giving Ben a second glance or even bothering to hide my irritation.
Mark is sitting between Jessica and Erika. I creep up behind him and clamp my hands over his eyes, then in my best Batman voice, ask, "Who am I?"
"Babe! I knew it was you before you even opened your mouth." He grabs my wrist and sniffs my perfume. "Only you smell this good." He winks and I sit in his lap, wrapping my arms around his neck.
"Okay, who is it you're trying to make jealous?"
Mark bursts out laughing. "This cute girl who came with Sara
h. She keeps giving me the eye, then playing hard to get. Don't worry, Babe. It's in the bag. I'm going to propose to her, take her to bed then dump her because we’re incompatible. By three a.m. we’ll be history."
"You're bad!" I play along however, giving him another kiss on the cheek, then turning to look at our friends.
My eyes meet Sarah's brother's. I can't even remember his name and, right now, that's the least of my worries.
"Ciao, Italian Girl! I hear you had visitors! Can't we leave you alone for two minutes?" Kris gets up from his chair and comes over, hugging me warmly. I'll never get used to this hugging thing. They're always so affectionate.
"Don't worry. I'm going away for two weeks so you can rest easy."
He pats me on the cheek. "We're going to miss you! It will be so boring without you around, getting into trouble, then Ben running to save you, and your never-ending telenovela..." I blush instantly.
"Kris, you've been running your mouth off a little too much lately." Ben's rough voice makes us all turn around.
"I'm just pointing out the obvious, as usual, buddy." Kris winks at me then leans forward and whispers, "I think you'll like tonight's show a lot more than the last one." He walks past Ben, giving him a slap on the back. "I'm going to get ready, you coming?"
And then Ben disappears, just like he arrived.
"Aren't you going, too?" I ask Mark.
"Yeah, soon. We're on later tonight, we're not starting till after ten."
"I have to leave by ten-thirty at the latest." I frown.
"You can't go before we finish. Promise me that!"
"Mark, I have to be at the airport by six-thirty, but I'll try my best...promise."