Vari's Choices

by Laura Jo Phillips

  They didn’t see her, she realized. Like everyone else, they saw only the mask she hid behind. A mask she’d spent most of her life perfecting. It was patently absurd for her to feel disappointed because they only saw what she showed them, and she knew it. But for some reason, that didn’t stop it from hurting.

  ***

  When Vari let herself into her stateroom she was relieved to find Pandora sleeping on a spare pillow in the form of a tiny black and white striped cat. If she were awake, she’d recognize Vari’s emotional turmoil in a heartbeat and she wouldn’t rest until she knew the reason for it.

  She moved around the room quietly, retrieving the kevlex outfit she intended to wear along with a few other items. She took everything into the bathroom, showered, dried her hair, and dressed, the normalcy of the routine helping her to regain control of her emotions.

  She opened her toiletries case, then paused. She could put on regular eye makeup, or use something a bit more…defensive. Since the reason for this spar was to raise excitement and interest in Lanok’s students, and since he especially wanted her to demonstrate zentsu, she decided to go with defensive. Reaching for a small black box, she opened it and applied the contents with practiced strokes of a small brush. She added a little mascara, dabbed on a touch of neutral lip color, and decided that was enough. She put everything away, took one last glance in the mirror, and left the bathroom.

  “You’re awake,” she said when Pandora immediately flew toward her. Now she was in the form of a woman with short black hair that stood up in glittery spikes all over her head, a short black and white striped dress, and black ankle boots. “Cute look.”

  Pandora glanced down at herself and smiled absently, hovering in front of Vari with a worried expression on her tiny face. “Why are you dressed for battle? What did I miss?”

  “I’m going to spar with Lanok, remember?”

  “You dressed for battle to spar?”

  “It’s a demonstration meant to inspire Lanok’s students, and ignite their interest in En Dairii and zentsu. I thought this appropriate.”

  “Oh,” Pandora said, nodding. “That makes sense.”

  “Are you ready to get out of here for a while?”

  “Yes, please,” Pandora said, darting to Vari’s shoulder.

  “By the way,” Vari said as she left her room and headed up the corridor, “the Dracon-Bats will be observing. I ask that you keep your dislike and distrust of them to yourself.”

  “I appreciate the warning Vari, but it’s hardly necessary. I’ve no desire to be tossed through an airlock, believe me.”

  “That’s certainly understandable,” Vari said, not bothering to deny that the Dracon-Bats would do any such thing. She knew Pandora too well to waste her breath.

  She opened the stairwell door and jogged lightly down the stairs to the rec deck. Pushing the door open, she left the stairwell and started up the long corridor, vacant at this time of the morning. A door opened at the far end and Lanok stepped out, turned toward her, and smiled.

  Before she could respond she sensed someone approaching from around the corner behind her, moving fast and silent. Remembering the spy from the cafeteria, Vari reacted without thought. She closed her eyes and summoned the dairi from one sleeve into her hand with a snap of her wrist while spinning around and releasing it all in one smooth motion. The dairi flew through the air in a blur and wrapped itself around Declan’s ankles so quickly he barely managed to stop moving in time to prevent himself from falling flat on his face.

  Vari knew the barest instant before she released the weapon that it was the Dracon-Bats coming up behind her, though she’d had no idea they were strong enough in Air to move that fast. She opened her eyes to see them staring at her in astonishment. Flicking her hand in a sharp, precise motion caused the dairi to release Declan and return to her. It repositioned itself on her sleeve and went still, once again appearing to be nothing more than a strip of decorative piping. Then she met Declan’s piercing gaze unflinchingly.

  ***

  Declan, Jay, and Kai left the bridge in a hurry, knowing they were running late. They took the service stairs down to the rec deck, than ran along the corridor the length of the ship using Air, unwilling to miss a moment of Vari’s match with Lanok. They’d just rounded the corner behind her, moving so fast that most people would only register a blur as they passed. Vari, who was walking calmly up the corridor at a normal pace, suddenly spun around in a move that rivaled their own for sheer speed. All three of them came to an abrupt stop when something wrapped itself around Declan’s legs.

  Declan was stunned. He’d barely seen the weapon she’d thrown, let alone had time to avoid it. He stared at Vari, wondering why she’d attacked him, and why she now had glistening black eyes. It wasn’t until she opened her eyes that he realized she’d had them closed, which raised a whole new set of questions. Looking down, he saw something thin, flat, and pale blue wrapped tightly around his ankles. He was about to reach down for it when it unwrapped itself and flew back to Vari. He watched the thing, dark blue now and much narrower, reattach itself to her sleeve.

  “I apologize,” Vari said. “I overreacted. That was careless of me.”

  “Since you discovered a spy aboard our ship less than twenty four hours ago, and as you had no reason to know we are strong in Air, I would say your defensive reaction was justified,” Declan said, walking toward her with Jay and Kai just behind him. Vari dipped her head in a slow nod.

  “That was extraordinary,” Lanok said, his expression one of genuine surprise. “I’ve never seen anyone execute a zentsu move with such speed and skill.” Lanok shook his head as though he could hardly credit his senses. “No wonder you hold the Silver.”

  “Greetings, Lanok,” she said, making it clear in the most polite manner possible that she did not want to discuss the subject.

  Lanok hid his disappointment as well as he could. “Greetings, Vari. Come, my students are in the training room already.”

  A couple of minutes later Declan, Jay, and Kai stood against one wall of the training room along with Lanok’s four students, who were also members of the Bihotza’s crew. Pandora hovered near the ceiling above them, but the Dracon-Bats hardly noticed her. Their interest in the Secret Art had increased a hundred fold after what Vari had done out in the corridor. They could hardly wait for the combatants to begin.

  Lanok and Vari stood about twenty feet apart, facing each other in the center of the room. Lanok started to bow, but Vari raised one hand in a stopping motion.

  “We need to disable our dairi, first,” she reminded him.

  “Yes, that would probably be wise,” Lanok said with a chuckle. Vari lowered her hand and with a quick motion of both arms that was barely noticeable, the blue piping along the arms and legs of her black kevlex outfit changed to white.

  Declan looked to Lanok in time to see his red piping become white as well. He knew now that the thin strips of piping were actually weapons since he’d had one wrapped around his ankles a few minutes earlier, but they didn’t look very impressive. He’d seen that the thin piping was capable of expanding into a wider, flat strip, but even then it was only half an inch wide. He doubted it would be of much use against a hand laser, sword, or any other serious weapon.

  What impressed him was the fact that Vari had stopped him in his tracks while he was moving at a speed that should have been impossible for her to see, let alone react to. He shook his head every time he thought of it. If he hadn’t seen it himself, he would have had difficulty believing it.

  Lanok and Vari pressed their palms together and bowed. The instant they’d fully straightened they each threw a length of their white piping, or dairi. It was immediately apparent to all who watched that Lanok was extraordinarily fast. But Vari was much, much faster.

  Lanok threw himself flat on the floor, and Vari leapt high into the air from a standing position, both of them avoiding the other’s weapon. Lanok jumped to his feet while throwing another dairi. At almos
t the same moment one of Vari’s dairi wrapped itself around his throwing arm. Vari flipped backward to avoid Lanok’s dairi before throwing another one of her own.

  Declan had seen many such contests and understood when, after the initial flurry, the two of them settled down to test each other. Looking for weaknesses, for patterns in movements, for openings they could exploit. It didn’t take long to figure out that a weapon which found its mark, like the one on Lanok’s arm, could not be removed, while those that missed their targets could be summoned back for another try.

  After a few minutes Vari held one white strip in her hand, with two still in place on her sleeves. Lanok held one strip of white as well, and had but one line of white on his pants. As they watched, two dairi that Lanok had thrown and missed with, flew back to him. When he extended one arm slightly to allow the strips to reattach themselves to his clothing, Vari took advantage, sending another strip toward him at blurring speed to wrap around his left calf. At nearly the same moment, one of Lanok’s dairi wrapped itself around one of Vari’s wrists.

  They continued to toss their weapons at each other while leaping, twisting, and otherwise contorting themselves in an amazing display of strength, speed, and agility unlike anything the Dracon-Bats had ever seen. Dairi aside, it was exciting and impressive to watch.

  Then Vari took one running step, leapt into the air, twisted her body around and landed lightly on the balls of her feet with her hands calmly at her sides. Declan frowned, wondering why she now motionless. He glanced at Lanok, shocked to see that one strip of white was wrapped around his neck, and another was wrapped around his ankles, holding them together.

  Declan exchanged looks with his brothers. Despite their incredibly sharp dracon senses, none of them had seen Vari throw her last two dairi. That was not quite as surprising as it would have been had they not seen a demonstration of her speed in the corridor. What stunned them more was that they hadn’t seen her dairi fly through the air, either. It was one thing for her to move so fast. Throwing an object so that it moved with such speed was entirely different.

  Lanok was laughing as he stood in the middle of his training room wrapped in Vari’s dairi. She made subtle gestures with both hands and all four strips immediately removed themselves from Lanok’s body and returned to her clothing as dark blue piping. Lanok summoned his weapons as well and they bowed to each other, then joined the students and the Dracon-Bats near the wall.

  “That was exhilarating,” Lanok said, grinning from ear to ear despite the fact that he’d just been bested in front of his students. “And intellectually stimulating. You’re a smart fighter, Lady Varia.”

  “As are you, Lanok.”

  Lanok shook his head, knowing she had bested him in all ways, but not arguing the matter. He turned to his students. “How many of you saw her toss the last two dairi?”

  All four of them shook their heads. Lanok looked at Declan who shook his head as well. “We didn’t see her throw them, we didn’t see them fly toward you, and we didn’t know they found you until after you both stopped moving. She moves as fast as we do with Air.”

  “Yes, she does,” Lanok said, turning back to his students. “Lady Varia has a natural gift for speed. But it was strength, not speed, responsible for the dairi moving so fast that none could see them. That is what comes from stretching beyond what comes easiest for you.” Lanok turned to Vari. “You are a true credit to the Secret Art, Lady Varia.”

  “That’s a high compliment coming from you, Lanok.”

  Lanok looked back to his students. “Do any of you know why Lady Varia wears black on her eyelids?” He gave them a few moments, but all shook their heads. Then he looked at Vari, who understood he wanted her to explain.

  “It’s called light block,” she said without a noticeable hesitation. “A time may come when you’ll need to reach for and find zentsu very quickly. An absence of all light, even to that which penetrates your eyelids, can significantly increase your speed in finding your focus. Light block makes that possible.”

  “Are you still agreeable to demonstrating zentsu?” Lanok asked. “We’ve set up a course in the training room across the corridor.”

  “It would be my honor,” she said, bowing politely.

  ***

  After the demonstration, and after answering a number of questions from Lanok’s students and the Dracon-Bats, Vari returned to her room. Only after she’d closed and locked the door behind her did she allow herself to sigh.

  “I think they know, or at least suspect, that your rank is higher than Lanok’s,” Pandora said.

  Vari shrugged, unable to make herself care. She had a far bigger problem on her mind. Pandora left her shoulder and flew over to the end of the bed as Vari removed her weapons and placed them on the dresser.

  “What will you do?”

  “I see no reason to do anything other than what I’ve been doing.”

  “If they don’t already know, they’ll ask Lanok and he will tell them.”

  “Perhaps,” Vari said, removing her boots and setting them in the closet.

  “They will want to know why you keep it hidden.”

  “The Dracon-Bats outrank me, Pandora, but that doesn’t give them the right to demand answers to personal questions. Or questions which I’d be violating my oaths to answer.”

  “That’s true, but it doesn’t tell me what you’ll do.”

  “I’m going to take another shower,” Vari replied, crossing the room toward the bathroom. “Later on I plan to have dinner with the Dracon-Bats.”

  “That’s not what I meant.”

  “I know,” Vari said before closing the door. After turning on the taps in the shower, she removed her clothing, then stepped under the hot spray with a sigh of pleasure.

  Now that she was alone, she allowed herself to think back to what she’d done in the corridor of the rec deck. It was true that having found one spy on the Bihotza had made her suspicious when she sensed the fast approach of someone behind her, and it was also true that she didn’t know the Dracon-Bats were strong enough in Air to move that quickly. But, it was equally true that she should have been far more careful than she’d been.

  She knew that the Dracon-Bats didn’t think much of dairi, nor did she blame them for it. The course Lanok had set up for the zentsu demonstration had consisted mostly of targets and a couple of thin barriers.

  While the men and the students had been impressed by her ability to hit targets that she couldn’t see, there’d been nothing remotely challenging about it. Declan, Jay, and Kai were left with the impression that dairi barely qualified as weapons at all, let alone dangerous ones. But they were wrong.

  The Bihotza was a Jasani ship, not an enemy vessel. Her immediate impulse to disable rather than restrain was not appropriate for the environment she was in. Fortunately, she’d changed the command at the last moment so that the dairi merely wrapped itself around Declan’s legs. But it had been a serious mistake the likes of which she hadn’t committed since she was twelve years old.

  She’d been making a lot of mistakes since arriving on the Bihotza barely twenty four hours earlier. Mistakes that she’d never made before, but that didn’t really impact anyone other than herself. Until she’d thrown a dairi at Declan.

  Immense calm, exact precision, a cool head, and extreme self-control were required to wield dairi, which was the real reason there were so few who practiced it. Apparently she’d lost all of those skills. She could only hope that once they reached Jasan and she left the Bihotza that she’d be able to regain them.

  Ten years earlier

  Vari watched from beneath the thick, lemon scented flowers of a geranium bush as the three angry men who looked so much like her Dracon uncles walked away. They were so familiar that she’d nearly showed herself at first, but Pandora stopped her with a sharp hiss. So she stayed hidden and was glad she had.

  Within moments she began shivering as their emotions, thoughts, and words inundated her. She drew her knees up very
slowly so as to make no sound, then wrapped her arms around her legs, holding onto herself tightly while she raised the strongest shield she knew how to make. Even so, if Pandora hadn’t been there to help her stay quiet and still, they would have discovered her.

  “Those are not nice men,” Pandora said after they’d gone back into the house. “It’s kind of a good thing, all things considered.”

  “What do you mean?” Vari asked, glancing at the black and white striped bird on her shoulder.

  “They are meant to be your mates one day.” Vari looked at her in confusion. “Hmmm…what is the word?” Pandora asked herself softly, her wings fluttering as she thought. “Ah. Rami. That’s it. They are meant to be your Rami, and you are meant to be their Arima.”

  “I know,” Vari said, having sensed as much for herself. “I meant why is it a good thing that they’re not nice men?”

  “You know you can’t let anyone touch you, Vari,” Pandora said.

  Vari’s eyes widened. Until they’d appeared in the garden she’d never really thought about having men of her own one day. Her dreams of the future were usually centered on all the things she’d do when she was finally able to leave the ranch. Now that the subject had suddenly and unexpectedly arisen, it was only to realize that it was something she could never have. That invoked emotions she didn’t understand, so she shoved them to the back of her mind and focused on something else Pandora had said.

  “I don’t agree with you.”

  “About what?”

  “They’re not bad men. They just found out that their brothers died. They’re hurting inside.”

  “They didn’t sound very sad to me,” Pandora insisted.

  “You only heard their voices. I heard their minds.”

  “I’m not convinced,” Pandora said stubbornly.