by Eden Rose
Kayla rolls over in her sleep and throws her arm over my waist and I can feel the stillness of her against my taut body. I’m ready for something but I can’t figure it out.
Slowly, I fill my lungs with much needed oxygen and then let it out a few times in order to calm my beating heart.
Shit.
What the fuck am I doing? Seriously, I need to get my shit together. I just got engaged to Kayla but yet I’m still having dreams about Chloe. I don’t know if I’m ever going to get over Chloe especially now that I know she’s pregnant.
Damn it. I bet you she looks so fucking hot all swollen with my babies in her belly.
In order to atone thinking of my ex while in bed with my girlfriend, I reach my hand out and rub her arm. We lay like this for a few minutes and I try to go back to sleep. Sleep is apparently avoiding me and I’m having issues shaking my dream off.
Chloe was so close to me and I could reach out and touch her. And I did. She was gorgeous in the dream just like every other time I saw her. Even in that stupid FBI uniform- she’s the most beautiful fucking woman in the world.
I need a plan.
*
I called in every single one of my contacts to get the information that I needed to track down Chloe and Howard. Every single one of them and I’m pretty sure that I have lost my job because I abused the badge by doing so. I needed to find her and I couldn’t let her slip through my fingers without hearing it from her.
Barry was the one that sang out where she was hiding.
He was a dumb ass who left a paper trail where to find him. I knocked on his door this morning and he looked shocked to see me. Hell, I would be shocked to see me too especially after he tried to kick my ass the other day. It’s been a few days since he left my place and for those days, I have thought of nothing more than finding my girl carrying my babies.
“Where is she?” I ask calmly as I slip on some gloves. There is no way in hell that I’m leaving any fingerprints on him. I want my girl and he’s in my way.
“I don’t, uh, I don’t know what you are talking about.” The little shit tries to lie to me.
I punch him in the stomach and then shake out my hand. He’s got a prison body which means his legs are weak but the top half is strong. “Where the fuck is Chloe and Howard?” I ask and when he doesn’t answer, I make another fist.
“Dude, you know I can’t answer that fucking question.”
I punch him in his face and his face shoots to the side. I wince when he coughs up blood. “One more time. Where is Chloe?”
He holds up his hands as if he’s saying no more. “Fine! Fine! She’s in downtown. Here’s her address. You didn’t get it from me!”
Barry deserves to be back in prison. He just ratted on his sister. How does he know that I’m not some crooked cop who is working for the Russians? What the fuck?
I punch him again in his chin and then watch him fall for good measure. “You just ratted on your fucking pregnant sister. You disgust me. You know what they are going to do to you in prison? They are going to make you their bitch and each of them are going to take turns fucking you in the ass.”
I leave him before I cause anymore damage and punch in the address in my phone. She’s literally living on the strip so it will be easy to find her.
It takes me a few minutes to walk towards where she is living now and when I get there, I knock on the door. I can hear Steve barking in the background but when no one answers, I knock again.
The door swings open and I see a different version of Chloe. This one has dark hair and entirely too much makeup. Before I can say anything, I hear the stomping of feet and Howard running up in a towel.
“Are you kidding me right now, bro?” I yell at him and barge in. “You couldn’t wait, could you? You just couldn’t wait for me to fuck up and you just come marching in on your noble horse and swoop in and steal my girl? She’s pregnant with my kids! Not yours! You are disgusting.”
I push Chloe out of the way and march towards Howard. I have my hand around his neck and there’s a red film that has covered my eyes. “You fucked her, didn’t you?”
“Grant! This isn’t fair!” Chloe yells from behind me and I feel her little hands as they pry my hands off of Howard’s neck. “Come on! Leave! Now!” She yells at me and begins to punch my back.
Howard- Then
The fucking bastard has me by my throat and my vision starts to blacken. I can hear the panic in Chloe’s voice as she yells and then I see the tears fall down her face.
“You have been waiting for a while, haven’t you? You are fucking piece of shit! She’s pregnant with my kids! I’m going to kill you.”
There’s a crash and then I look over to my left and see Chloe running with a bottle in her hand right at Grant’s head. There’s a smash and glass that spreads everywhere. Naturally, she should be able to take him on but Grant is not moving for anything and I know it’s because I have pissed him off.
He drops his hold off of me and I bend at the waist to get oxygen in my lungs. The blood rushes all over my veins and I begin to feel faint over the lack of oxygen going to my brain.
Grant stands up and walks over to Chloe with his hands shaking. She’s laying on the ground with her hands on her stomach. “Stop, Grant! Please. Just go. This isn’t you and I…”
“It’s been him the whole time, hasn’t it?” He says coolly as he squats down to her level. “I loved you so much and you could never love me. My god, Chloe. Look at what you have done to me. I almost killed my friend from college, my old partner for sleeping with you. Oh my god!” He yells and walks over to me.
I look up at him and put my hands on my knees. I don’t like feeling inferior to him, so I stand up to my full height which is the same height as him. “Look, man. It’s not like that. Uh, it is now… but…”
I push Grant out of my way and fall to my knees in front of Chloe. She’s breathing heavy and I can tell that she’s scared of what is happening and she has every right to be but that doesn’t mean that I like it.
Her eyes are full of tears and she’s holding her stomach tightly. I hated seeing the tears in her eyes.
“Shh, sweetness. Look at me.”
She stares at me and holds her breath and then let’s it out. I watch her throat work through these emotions until she’s calmed down. She’s breathing heavy and I can see the color draining from her body which scares me more than anything. Her natural pink lips are turning a tan color that isn’t natural.
“It’s okay.”
Bang! Bang!
“Police! Open up!”
Chloe- Then
Ever have one of those moments where you are wondering if you are having a dream? Something good and something that will alter your world? I’m beginning to wonder if the shower sex and the night with Howard has just been a dream and now I’m back in reality.
Who the fuck does Grant think he is by showing up here out of the blue and demanding answers? He had months to tell me about Kayla and Christine but he refused and now it’s too late. I can’t… I just can’t do this again.
I look at Grant and then feel the insides of my chest shut and slam against my cavity. “I’m breaking the habit,” I whisper at him and walk towards the door.
Hands grab my elbows before I make it there and I spin around to see Grant staring at me. “No. Fuck that! You are carrying my babies! Fuck all of this nonsense. You have two minutes to pack up your shit and come home with me.”
Tears roll over my eyelids and fall down my cheeks making my neck wet. Pregnancy has made me a cry baby and I hate it! I hate all of this. “No! I’m not-”
There’s the smashing of my door before I could say anything more and I look over and see three police officers with their hands on their weapons. I throw my hands in the air not sure as to how to play this and let the cops survey the scene. “Um, my top drawer might be of interest to you, in the kitchen.”
One of the male officers went into my kitchen and then called everyone
off. “Why is there yelling? You do realize that you yelling is what got us called, right?”
Ever the problem solver, Howard comes forward and looks from me to the officers. “We are sorry about this. We are in the middle of something and we need you to leave.” He sounds so official but the officers aren’t falling for it.
“Excuse me?” The female cop demands and stands in between all of us. She’s about my height with red hair and she’s a little on the chubby side. But she’s really pretty. I wonder if that is her real hair color.
I speak up and look at Grant and wince. I know I’m about to shatter us beyond repair but it’s time to get him out of here. He couldn’t be the man I need and I need someone like Howard. Howard is always going to be there for me and he’s going to want to take care of me and the babies. Who cares if he’s not the biological father. He can be their father in the way that matters.
Plus, I- uh- I’m pretty sure I’m beginning to love him.
“I want Grant to leave. Listen, officers, I will tell you what you need to know but we need to stop this from getting bigger than what it is. It can’t escalate anymore. Many things are at stake here,” I tell them and push myself up the wall. I can feel Grant’s eyes tracing up and down my body but stopping right at my stomach. I feel the urge and need to wrap my arms around my waist almost as if it would protect them from Grant’s lies.
Because in the end? Grant is a liar and he won’t ever stop. He lied to me from the very beginning and now all he knows are lies. He’s only going to continue to lie to me about Kayla and Christine and now that he’s here? He’s ruining everything.
“May I see your badges?” I ask the officers.
The woman is first to show me hers and I hold it up to the light to make sure that everything is legit with it. When I confirm it, I hand it back to her and hold my hand out to the other cop. After that one is also confirmed, I walk to my purse that is dangling on the side of the chair. I dig through the wallet and find James’ business card.
Howard walks over to me and places his hand on my back. “Are you sure this is a good idea?” His eyes drop to my stomach and then kisses my cheek. I know exactly what he is asking. If they call James, surely they are going to tell him what transpired and that I’m pregnant. Fuck.
“Yeah.” Decision made, I hand the card over to the officers and then walk them out. “He will be able to discuss everything with you. Thanks for coming over.”
They lead Grant out and he looks back at me once more and then walks out. Once the door shuts, I let out a deep breath and Howard pulls me close. “You did good, baby. I’m so proud of you. You’re so fucking amazing,” he whispers into my ear.
“I don’t feel amazing. Holy shit. That was insane.”
Howard- Then
I can feel her shaking as I hold her and know that everything is going to get better now. It’s going to be an adjustment but I know that we will be able to do better together now that she has freed herself from Grant.
“How did he find us?” I ask her and kiss her cheek a couple of times just because I want to be close to her as much as I can. And I just love the feeling of her skin against my lips.
Jesus fucking Christ. This woman is my undoing.
She shrugs and wraps her arms around my waist and holds me closer to her. “I need to find out how he did. This is getting fucking ridiculous. First Barry and now Grant. Wait- do you think-”
I decide to kiss her to shut up that thought because I’m guessing that is what happened. Barry probably sang like a fucking canary when Grant came over. His words begin to replay in my head and I feel the urgent need to punch him. Fuck!
Her lips are cushion soft with just enough padding to make me lose my mind. I’m the one to break the kiss and my mouth opens and says: “I love you, Chloe.”
She stiffens and then looks down before looking back at me. Her eyes are glossy and she takes one of her hands off of me and places it on her stomach. “You do?”
“Of course.”
It’s my turn to stiffen when I feel her to try to get out of my hold that I have on her. I hold her tighter and lead her to the couch. Once we are seated, I situate her so she’s laying on top of my lap. “Baby, you don’t have to say anything back to me. I just wanted you to know.”
Of course I want her to say it back to me. I want her to say it back to me so fucking badly but I know that you can’t push this woman to do or say anything.
“It’s not that… Uh, it’s been a long day. I think I’m about to lose my job and my brother is being an ass and then there’s Grant and now there’s you.” It’s funny that after her rant, she takes a deep breath while looking at Steve who comes into the living room with his tail wagging.
“Maybe Steve is trying to make you happy,” I say in order to lighten the mood. When you are a cop, the job is everything and it sucks to feel as if you are about to lose your job. Hell, she doesn’t need the stress of this.
Chloe- Then
How many times do I need to demonstrate that I’m a horrible fucking person before I get hit by a lightning bolt? I’m constantly doing things to hurt people and now I have Howard…
I don’t know if I’m in love with him or if I just want to be in love with him so I can say it back. I just said goodbye to Grant and I don’t know if I’m ready to have this conversation.
Without saying anything, words are just not going to diffuse the situation, I slide off of his lap and shuffle to my bedroom. I can hear the clicking of Steve’s nails as he rushes to follow me. I find a pair of sweatpants on the ground and slip into them and then shove my feet into my slippers. Even though it’s blazing outside, I want to be comfortable.
When I get into the living room, I see that Howard is looking at his phone but stops to look over at me. “What are you doing?”
I grab Steve’s leash and he comes charging into the living room with a howl. “Does that answer your question?”
He shakes his head and then goes to my bedroom to put on pants and then makes his way back out. “Are we just taking him out or are we going for a walk?”
Steve’s head snaps up and he tilts it to the side as he watches Howard like he’s about to give him a treat. “Well now we have to go for a walk. You can’t tease the baby Steve,” I say to him and put my keys into my pocket.
“Is this how it’s going to be with the babies? Everyone ganging up on me?” Howard reaches for the door and opens it. Before he closes it, he checks to make sure the door handle is locked.
Not going to lie to you, my stupid fucking heart starts beating so fast with him insinuating of the future. Do I want Howard to be a part of the babies’ lives? I’m thinking I do. I’m going to need to see how the hell the rest of this assignment is going to play out before I try to be wifed up.
I shrug, and walk down the stairs to go outside. “Probably.”
“Smart ass,” he smacks my ass and then we go outside. Once we are outside, Steve charges off to sniff the grass. “Give me him, you are going to be pulled down the street.”
Reluctantly, I hand off the leash and he wraps the handle around his hand. “I’ve been walking him just fine for all of these years,” I gripe and slip my hand into his. I wrap my fingers in with his and squeeze.
We walk hand in hand down the road with Steve and it seems completely normal. “See, that’s the problem, baby. You don’t have to do things on your own,” he says and then kisses my cheek.
You better watch it. I’m going to get used to this.
“That’s the point, sweetheart,” he replies and we turn the corner. “Because now that I have you, I’m not giving you up.”
I said it out loud? Jesus.
The rest of our walk is peacefully quiet and just what I needed after a long day of shit storms. Jesus. What the hell am I going to do if I lose my job? The feeling of uneasiness washes over me and it’s suffocating to feel this way. I hate it.
“Howard, I can lose my-”
He cuts me off and then puts his arm
around my shoulders but is still holding my hand. It feels completely natural and amazing- I never wanted to let him go in this moment. In this moment, I wanted to believe that
there was such thing as happily-ever-after.
Howard- THen
I’m tired of feeling the fear that is radiating off of her body. She’s projecting it and it’s terrifying me to know that she’s this worried about her job. And the worst part of it? There’s not a damned thing I could do to save her job. This is something that is going to change the both of us.
Since there is nothing that I can do, I continue to lead us around the block and Steve continues to sniff the ground. He’s a hilarious dog. I shit you not, he’s sniffing the ground and then he tries to tug me down the street to sniff a tree.