Water Walker (The Full Story, Episodes 1-4)

by Dekker, Ted

  What if I’m being used? Or even worse, abused.

  I mean, what if all of this had been an elaborate plan to get to the money all along? Not Mother’s plan, no—I couldn’t see that. But isn’t that essentially what Zeke had said? His words reached to me from the field.

  Without me, you would be nothing, he’d said. I gave you your life back and provided a way for you to bless us all in a very significant way.

  As if he’d orchestrated my coming here so that I could give them all a significant blessing. Meaning the money.

  It hit me square between the eyes, and once in my mind, I couldn’t get it out. I didn’t want to get it out. It was as if someone had turned a light bulb on in my head.

  What if all of this—the baptisms, the teaching, the rituals, the prayers, the confinement, the rules—all of it was only to get me to be his obedient little girl so that when I turned eighteen, I would readily just hand over all the money to my mother who would just hand it over to Zeke?

  What if it was all a sham? Not my belief in God, or that Kathryn was my real mother, but all this other business. And on the heels of that question, a whole slew that battered my mind and pushed my anger even deeper until my body began to display signs of it regardless of any attempt on my part to keep it calm.

  I got out of bed and went through my normal morning cleaning rituals. I did my chores and said all the right things. But I couldn’t stop sweating. Noticing, Kathryn asked me to wash my face three different times to keep it clean. Even worse, I couldn’t keep my fingers from trembling when the thoughts overtook me, and twice I didn’t hear questions put to me by Mother.

  It all came to a head during lunch, when I inadvertently knocked over my water glass.

  “Eden!”

  I began to dab up the water with my napkin. “Sorry.”

  “What has gotten into you?”

  “It’s just water, sugar,” Wyatt said, rising to help me clean up the spill.

  “Sit down, Wyatt. It’s her spill, not yours. She’s been acting strange all day.”

  Wyatt hesitated, then retreated to his seat, knowing better than to defend me in front of the whole family, though I think he did so in private on occasion.

  “It’s just water, Mama,” Bobby said.

  “Shut up, Bobby.”

  We ate the rest of the meal in silence and Wyatt headed for the door as soon as Kathryn excused him.

  “Bobby, go with your father.”

  “We’re going to the still?” he asked.

  Wyatt flashed Bobby a smile. “Wanna help me change a tire, boy?”

  Bobby hopped off his chair and marched for the door as if to defend the fort against invading marauders.

  “I can change the tire!”

  “Of course you can.”

  Wyatt gave me a glance of understanding and followed Bobby, who was already outside, raring to go.

  Mother turned to me the moment the door closed, hands on her hips.

  “What’s wrong with you today? It’s like you’re not even here!”

  “Sorry, Mother. I just . . .”

  You see, already I was feeling guilty. And then angry that I was feeling guilty.

  “You just what? Stand up. Have you lost your mind?”

  I stood and stared at her, feeling my face flush red.

  “That’s right. You should feel ashamed.”

  But it was anger, not shame, that heated my face.

  “Well? Are you just going to stand there?” she demanded, expecting me to apologize.

  I almost didn’t. But my habits had grown too deep, like roots that had worked their way into every cell in my body.

  “I’m sorry.”

  She eyed me suspiciously for a spell.

  “You’ve been weak all day, haven’t you? In fact, you’ve been off since last night. I could see it when you went to bed. We accepted our blessing in baptism yesterday and you went to bed ungrateful and in a foul mood, didn’t you?”

  I’ve been in a foul mood all week, I wanted to say. But I didn’t.

  “You answer your mother when she asks you a question, Eden Lowenstein.”

  So I did.

  “Yes.”

  “And you didn’t bother to confess?” Her face grew red. “What has gotten into you?”

  “I don’t know.” It was a lie, but I was past feeling guilty for such small sins. My true demons were far more frightening and were tearing me apart.

  “Well you had better start knowing!” Mother glared at me and for a second I thought she was going to blow up, something she rarely did.

  “I’ve given you too many liberties, haven’t I?” she said. “All this business of you turning eighteen and I’ve let my guard down.”

  “No.”

  “No? I think yes. I think your head’s getting the better of you.”

  I could see the wheels spinning behind her eyes. She was suddenly worried that I was going to ruin things for all of them, wasn’t she? For her and Zeke. All they wanted was my money.

  “You’re hiding something from me, I can see it in your eyes.”

  “I . . .” But I couldn’t form a response. Anything I said would be a lie, and I suddenly couldn’t bring myself to keep up the charade.

  “You what? Speak up!” Mother snapped.

  “I don’t know.”

  “Well that’s a problem, isn’t it?”

  “I guess.”

  “You guess? You guess? You can’t do this to us, Eden! Not now. Not after all we’ve been through.” She began to pace in front of me, and concern replaced her anger. Genuine worry, I thought. She was as much a victim as me, but realizing this didn’t calm me.

  “What do you think Zeke would say to this?” she demanded, turning on me.

  It was the way she pulled him in to the conversation that pushed me over the edge of the cliff I’d been desperately balancing on.

  “Zeke?” I asked.

  Your voice is too loud, Eden.

  “Zeke?”

  You’re falling.

  “Since when is Zeke more important to you than your own daughter?”

  You’re shouting, Eden.

  My face was hot and my breathing was coming quick but I was past making any attempt to stuff my emotions. It was suddenly all boiling over and I didn’t have the strength to stop it.

  “Eden!”

  “I’m not a straw doll, you know?” I snapped. “You can’t just use me to get what you want!”

  Mother’s jaw fell open and she gasped. I had never raised my voice to her, and now that I had taken the plunge, I just kept going.

  “Do you know what he did to Paul? Zeke beat him up. Smashed his face with his fist and cut him up! He brought Paul to the field and showed me, then threatened to hurt Bobby if I ever crossed him.”

  You would think I had slapped Mother and sent her staggering back. Her face went from red to white, gripped by fear and shock.

  “You went to the field without me knowing? How dare you!?”

  “Of course I went to the field, no one said I couldn’t. And now I’m confessing that I let Paul kiss me on the cheek. There. Now you know, Mother. I went to the field and let Paul give me a kiss. Is that so bad? Of course it is! Do you know why? Because I have to do exactly what Zeke wants me to, regardless of how absurd the rules you two come up with are.”

  “How dare you!”

  “You have to keep me perfectly obedient, don’t you? It’s the only way Zeke can get his hands on the money! All he’s ever wanted is my money, can’t you see that?”

  Kathryn was trembling.

  “Blasphemy!”

  “Of course it is. Anything I do that doesn’t make your life better’s blasphemy. You don’t love me. You’re only using me to take care of your own guilt and get your hands on my money.”

  Kathryn gawked, speechless.

  “Well, that’s too bad,” I said. “Because you’re not going to get my money and neither is Zeke. I’m going to undo what I did. I have thirty days to do
that, and I’m going to tell them I’ve changed my mind.” I took a breath. “I’m not going to let Zeke use me like this. It’s not right! I don’t like that man!”

  “Eden Lowenstein!” Mother shoved her hands against her ears, as if to protect them from my words. “You stop this right now! Stop it! The devil has gotten inside of you!” She shoved her finger at the hallway. “You go to your room right now and cleanse your mind of all this garbage!”

  I hadn’t planned on saying any of what I’d said. Or undoing the power of attorney I’d signed. The words had all just come out. But having said them, I felt a surge of courage and I realized that it was exactly what I was going to do. I didn’t know how or when, but I could do it and I would.

  That monster who’d beaten his son up wasn’t going to get his hands on that money. Neither was my mother, for that matter.

  For the first time, I wondered if my mother wasn’t a monster too.

  But I had the sense to know that saying any more wouldn’t help my cause. I wasn’t even sure what the full extent of my cause was.

  So I took a deep breath, set my jaw, and forced myself to calm down.

  “Fine,” I said. “I’ll do that.”

  And I turned on my heel and walked to my bedroom.

  19

  KATHRYN STOOD silent in the kitchen, holding her head with trembling hands, unable to hold back the anger that washed through her like an ocean that threatened to drown her where she stood.

  No, it wasn’t just anger. There was fear too, raw fear that was pitch black and ran bone deep.

  How could Eden be so foolish? Not only had she rebelled, but Zeke knew. He’d smashed Paul’s face to show her the wages of her sin—a warning. And yet her response was sin heaped upon more sin, rather than humility and repentance.

  The little fool had no idea what she’d set in motion, or what Zeke was capable of. Her pride was inviting disaster upon all of them, not just herself.

  Stupid girl. Too blind to see that . . .

  Kathryn stopped. Another thought came, fully formed, and she shuddered. If Zeke knew of Eden’s rebellion, he also knew of her failure as a mother.

  You have to set this right, Kathryn. You have to set this right before Zeke does.

  Mind spinning, she walked to the front door and pushed through it. The screen door banged shut as she descended the porch steps and angled across the yard. She had to think, had to find a way to fix this. Fix Eden and return her to the path of righteousness so that everything could go back to the way it was.

  Eden was deceived. She’d been deceived by her own sinful nature and that nature was bent on devouring the good she’d cultivated in Eden all these years and replacing it with poison thistles and stones.

  And poison they were. With each passing moment Eden’s venomous words bit deeper.

  I’m not a straw doll, you know.

  That’s where Eden was wrong. She was a straw doll. And she was a fool if she believed anyone was controlling her. No, Eden’s corrupted flesh wore her like a glove, manipulating her every thought and desire. Her rebellion was blinding her to that fact, wasn’t it?

  “Wyatt!” Kathryn yelled. She glanced at the truck parked beside the house. Its front tire still sagged, unchanged. Where was that man?

  His distant reply called from her right. “Here!” Down near the lake with Bobby.

  Jaw clenched, she hurried toward the lake where the two of them stood with fishing poles in hand.

  Wyatt watched Kathryn as she approached and reeled in his line, smile fading as she stopped next to them.

  “Go to the house, Bobby,” she said.

  Bobby’s eyes flicked between them. “Am I in trouble?”

  “Now,” she said. “I won’t ask twice.”

  After a moment’s pause, Wyatt quietly took hold of Bobby’s fishing pole. “Do as your mother says. I’ll take care of that rod, all right?”

  “All right,” he said quietly. He took a few steps then turned around. “Is Eden in trouble for spilling her drink?”

  “Now, Bobby!” She jabbed a finger toward the house. “Go! And don’t talk to your sister, you understand me?”

  “I won’t talk to her.” Bobby shook his head and then hobbled up the path in a hurry.

  Kathryn paced by the water’s edge, her thoughts clawing one over the other like a desperate mob. Wyatt stood there and watched her with nervous eyes.

  He finally spoke. “If this is about the tire . . .”

  “Shut up, Wyatt! I don’t give a damn about your truck right now.”

  “I’m sorry, sugar.”

  “Well you’d better be. We’ve got a problem.”

  She told him what had happened with Eden, how she’d betrayed her by going to the field, how she’d given in to her lust for Paul and how Eden had betrayed not only her, but Zeke too. He listened without comment and a dark look of worry crept over his face.

  “What’s gotten into that child?” Kathryn said. “She’s rushing down the road to hell, all the while dragging us close behind her. I’ve done everything for her. Everything! She has no idea what grief I’ve suffered for her sake. I’ve asked for nothing. Nothing! What do I get in return? Rebellion and contempt.”

  After a thick silence, Wyatt spoke. “Maybe we’re being too hard on her.”

  Kathryn’s eyes narrowed. “Excuse me? Too hard?”

  “I just—”

  “What’s wrong with you, Wyatt? If anything I’ve lightened up too much! Despite rearing her to stay on the narrow way, she’s chosen the lusts of the flesh. That’s why she went behind my back. She knew better than to sneak around, and she still disobeyed me. Who knows how long this has been stewing in her.”

  Kathryn continued her tirade, steaming. “She’s been deceived into believing a lie about herself. She’s forgotten who she is. I’m losing her! I have to stop her before she does something even more foolish.”

  She cast him an angry glare, knowing it wasn’t his fault but at the moment she wasn’t in the mood to quibble about details. It was both of their fault. All of their fault. The whole world seemed to be coming down around her.

  “What if she actually tries to do it, Wyatt?”

  “She won’t, su—”

  “What if she tries to get into town? Says the wrong thing? There’s no telling what Zeke will do. You know as well as I do that if the wrong people find out how we got her, Zeke could go to prison. He won’t allow that to happen. You know what he’s capable of doing.”

  His silence confirmed the truth of her words.

  “I have to deal with this,” Kathryn said, pacing again. “I let her go down this path, and now I have to bring her back.”

  The proper course of action hit her then, like a whisper from heaven, and she stopped, staring out at the lake. A calm edged into her mind, like the still waters before her. That was it, wasn’t it? You put new wine into a rotten vessel and it only rots the new wine.

  Eden’s vessel had been corrupted.

  “A rebellious spirit is spoiling Eden.” She spoke with biting certainty now. “It’s like a poisonous weed working its way into her heart and there’s only one way to deal with a weed. You have to rip it out by the roots and burn it. And that’s exactly what I’m going to do. I’m going to save my little girl before it’s too late.”

  Kathryn turned on her heel and headed toward the house. Wyatt made no attempt to follow her, and neither should he. She was the one who’d birthed her. She was the one who would now offer her rebirth.

  She climbed the porch stairs, entered the house, and marched into the kitchen. She found the scissors in the drawer by the sink, crossed the living room, and turned down the narrow hall that ended at Eden’s room.

  Without pausing to knock, she twisted the knob and pushed the door open.

  Eden sat motionless in a chair across the room. She stared straight ahead, her face as expressionless as stone. Still, Kathryn could feel that poisonous spirit lurking behind those eyes, quietly mocking her.

&nbs
p; Kathryn walked into the room and stopped at the foot of the bed. Eden slowly turned and looked at her, face still stone. She held her daughter’s stare and straightened, chin up.

  “You’ve violated my trust, Eden,” she said. “Not only have you sinned against me and Zeke, you’ve rebelled against God. And like a Jezebel, you lured Paul into sin. And I’ve come to realize why.”

  Eden showed no emotion.

  “I remember what it was like to be eighteen, to be tempted by the ways of the world and all it has to offer. I know how it feels to get swept off your feet by the promise of love. But it’s an empty promise. You cannot serve the flesh and the spirit at the same time. They’re at war with one another and you will be lost if you choose the flesh. I won’t let that happen.”

  She took a step toward Eden. “Stand up, sweetheart.”

  Eden’s looked at the scissors in Kathryn’s hand.

  “I said stand up. You will listen to your mother. I won’t have any more of your foolishness.”

  For a moment Eden did nothing, then she slowly rose to her feet.

  Kathryn smiled and ran her thumb across Eden’s cheek. “The light is shining in you. We simply have to get everything else out of the way so it can burn bright.”

  She took Eden’s hand and led her to the bedside. “If your left hand causes you to stray, you must cut it off. If your right eye makes you sin, you must gouge it out. It’s better to enter life maimed than to be thrown into hellfire with both hands or eyes.”

  She released Eden. “Kneel.”

  Eden eased to her knees and planted both elbows on the mattress.

  Kathryn kneeled behind her and removed the rubber band holding Eden’s ponytail in place. Her hair cascaded over her shoulders, beautiful and smooth, and Kathryn gently combed the tangles out with her fingers.

  “To destroy the works of the flesh, we must separate you from them.” She brought the scissors to Eden’s hair just behind her right ear. “You must come out from among the world of sin and death.”

  With a metallic snip, the razor-sharp blades sliced through her hair. It fell onto the back of Eden’s legs.