I Know Better (By Your Side Series Book 1)

by A. P. Watson

  TERAYN WAS WAITING FOR me the instant I opened our front door. She jumped off the couch, scurrying to keep up with me as I walked in the direction of the kitchen.

  “So?” Her eyes widened in anticipation of my response.

  “You’re a damn Benedict Arnold!” I shouted.

  “What? Why?” she questioned innocently.

  “Because Jacks showed up to the pole studio,” I spat.

  “And?”

  “And your wish came true. He watched me dance.”

  “And?” she anxiously asked again.

  I dropped my bag on the counter and opened the refrigerator. There was half a bottle of Moscato with my name on it. I decided to forego a glass, taking a long gulp straight from the bottle. “Him watching me dance was without a doubt the most sensual experience of my life,” I breathed.

  “Wow.”

  “When I was dancing, it was as if my entire body was on fire—a steady and incessant burn.”

  “Did he say anything?” She leaned across the counter, her chin resting in the palm of her hand.

  “Just that he didn’t understand why I would keep dance a secret from him when we aren’t supposed to have any secrets.”

  “What did you say?”

  “I told him we still had one secret we were both too afraid to admit to each other.”

  “Damn.”

  “He really didn’t say too much more, and then I left.”

  “He’s so frustrating. I swear the next time I see him, he’s getting punched in the face.”

  I laughed, taking another long swig of Moscato. “I’d pay good money to see that.”

  “I know he has feelings for you, Wren. I swear I can sense it in my bones, and you know how good I am at reading people.”

  “Yeah, but there is a reason he’s being hesitant, a reason he isn’t seeking more from me. And part of me is terrified to find out what that reason is.” I handed the bottle over to Ter, watching as she took a sip of wine. “I’ve always known he was way out of my league, but I never thought such things mattered to him. I guess I was wrong though.”

  She shook her head. “No, that isn’t it. Damn! I wish I could figure him out. I’ve seen him with other women, I’ve even seen him around Elise, and the only time his eyes ever light up are when you walk into the room.”

  “I can’t force the subject on him, because if I do, I take the risk of losing him for good. And I really don’t want that to happen,” I whispered.

  Terayn’s arms slid around me before I could pull away. “I know, babe.”

  “As of right now, we’re basically at a standstill.”

  Having Jacks watch me dance was exhilarating, but the dream faded when the music stopped. He saw the way I was staring at him, just as I recognized the way he was watching me. I was too close to the fire, and if caution didn’t prevail, I’d get burned. No one ever said the path of self-preservation was the stuff of dreams, but it helped me survive all the shit I went through with Liam. And now it’d help me survive falling for my best friend too.

  After another hug from Terayn, I grabbed my phone from my bag, deciding a hot bubble bath was in order. When I unlocked the home screen on my phone, I half-expected to have a text from Jacks, but he remained silent.

  The following afternoon was more of the same. Long pauses in our conversations never bothered me before, but now that we were both deliberately being silent, everything seemed different. When I woke up, the townhouse was empty, and Terayn and Ryan were both halfway through their workday. The last thing I needed to do was mope around for the rest of the afternoon. Work would almost be a welcome reprieve for the rest of the week, but for now, I didn’t want to be alone. Instantly, my thoughts turned to Jacks. Normally, he’d be the first person I’d talk to every day, but there was no chance in hell I’d be the first one to break our silence. However, I needed to talk to someone, and I did know one person who wasn’t currently at work. In less than half a second, my mind was made up. David was still at the rehabilitation facility and it’d almost been two weeks since my last visit.

  I popped out of bed, hurrying to the bathroom. After styling my hair and putting on some makeup, I returned to my room to get dressed. I changed into a pair of jeans and a white camisole. My pole bag was still sitting on the floor next to my closet. I emptied its contents, replacing my seven-inch heels with a pair of work scrubs and some sneakers. It would be easier to drive straight to the hospital from the rehabilitation facility. Once everything was packed up, I threw on a pair of boots and a navy cardigan. With my purse, phone, and bag in hand, I locked the front door to the townhouse, bounding down the front steps.

  Harlow was parked on the street just outside the townhouse. I slid behind the steering wheel, tossing my bag and purse onto the passenger seat. At the turn of my key, she hummed to life. Jacks sure knew how to build a hell of a car. As I drove to the rehabilitation facility, I shifted gears, keeping with the flow of traffic. It only took me twenty minutes to reach my destination, including a necessary stop for coffee and bagels. If David was anything like my grandpa, coffee, and a delicious snack were welcome at all hours of the day.

  I rode the elevator to the seventh floor, balancing a drink tray in my left hand while my right carried the bagels and my purse. Exiting the elevator, I sidestepped a patient taking a stroll with the assistance of a walker and a nurse. I smiled at the two of them as I passed, making my way to David’s room. Standing outside room 702, I knocked on the door and waited for a reply.

  “I’m on my way!”

  “It’s Wren. I just wanted to stop by for a visit.”

  “There she is!” David opened the door, smiling at me from the other side of the threshold. He motioned for me to follow him inside, making his way across the room to his armchair by the window.

  I closed the door behind me, following his lead. “How are you feeling?”

  “Much better. I had a touch of pneumonia last week, but the doctors prescribed me some antibiotics, and now I’m feeling much better.”

  “I didn’t realize you’d been sick! I kept meaning to stop by last week, but work was a mess. I picked up an extra shift just to help out.” I set the drink tray and bagels on the coffee table and moved to pull up an extra chair across from David’s. “You’re looking fit as a fiddle though!” I gave him a quick hug before he had a chance to sit.

  “My dear, the Carmichael men are always fit.”

  I shook my head and laughed. “This is true.”

  “So, how was your birthday?” he inquired.

  “It was the best one I’ve had in a really long time. Jacks, Terayn, and Ryan, are much too good to me.”

  “And are you liking your new car?”

  My eyes widened in surprise. “Jacks told you about that?”

  “You’d be surprised by some of the things I know. Jackson confides in me quite a bit.”

  I picked up a coffee and handed it to David. “Well, it’s a 1968 Camaro SS, so I think the appropriate term to use when talking about her is love. Honestly, she’s one of the most beautiful automobiles I’ve ever seen in my life.”

  “Jackson showed me a picture, so I’m in agreement with your assessment.”

  I retrieved a bagel from the bag and spread a fair amount of cream cheese on it. “Here you go.” I set the bagel and a napkin in David’s hands before making one for myself. “Oh, it’s a cinnamon bagel and hazelnut cream cheese. I hope that’s okay.”

  “It’s my favorite.”

  I took a bite of my bagel, washing it down with a sip of coffee. “I love his gift, don’t get me wrong. But on the other hand, it’s also a fucking car!” My hand slapped over my mouth as the realization of my remark sank in. “I’m so sorry.”

  David laughed, completely unperturbed by my choice of words. “I’ve never been averse to the use of profanity.”

  “It’s nice to be in such good company then,” I replied, relieved.

  “But getting back to the topic at hand . . . ”

&nbs
p; “The car is, without exception, the most extravagant gift I’ve ever received, and—”

  “And you’re unsure whether or not you should accept it?”

  “Exactly.”

  “Jackson is a smart man. He works hard, and he’s done very well for himself.” He took another sip of coffee as he finished the last of his bagel. “Believe me, the only reason he bought that car is because he wanted you to have it. He admires you and your tenacity. He told me your ex-boyfriend left you in serious debt. He said you worked yourself like a dog just to pay back every dime.”

  “I’ve always preferred to make my own way,” I said with a shrug.

  “Jackson’s the same way. The two of you are kindred spirits in that regard.”

  “I suppose so.”

  “Let me put it to you this way.” David leaned forward in his chair, reaching out to take my hand in his. “I’ve been around enough nurses in the past few months to see that you don’t get paid nearly enough for the job you are required to do.”

  “It seems you’ve discovered the quickest way to a nurse’s heart.”

  His mouth broke into a smile as he squeezed my hand in between his. “You probably don’t make half of what Jackson’s ex, Elise, took home every year. She is financially secure, to say the least, and yet there was always something new and sparkly she wanted Jackson to buy for her. She would’ve drained every cent from his bank account just because she could.”

  “Sounds like you’re not her biggest fan.”

  “Not by a long shot.” He took a deep breath, his brown eyes boring into mine. “My point is that you’ve experienced more hardships than most people your age. You sold your car, so you could move up here and start your life over. You could use help more than anyone, but you never asked your parents or friends for a single thing.”

  “I think most people would refer to that as stubbornness.”

  “I prefer to call it integrity,” he stated.

  “Thank you for all your insight on the situation.”

  “He built the car for you and you alone. Just remember that.” He released my hands, sliding back into his chair.

  “I will,” I promised, tucking a stray strand of hair behind my ear. I looked at David and smiled. “Jacks is a remarkable man. I know his parents would be proud of him.”

  “I know I am.”

  “I’ve encountered some horrible men in my past, but Jacks isn’t like them. He’s one of the good ones.”

  “I can see why he loves you so much,” he whispered.

  I gagged on my coffee, nearly spewing the hot liquid across the room. “Excuse me?”

  “I take it he hasn’t told you yet?”

  “Jackson and I are just . . . ”

  “Friends?”

  “Yeah, something like that.”

  “Sometimes it’s hard for Jackson to express his true feelings. He lost both of his parents on the same day, and it changed him. The first person he let get close after the accident was Elise.”

  “And she left him high and dry,” I spat.

  “Just be patient with him. It takes time for him to really open up.”

  “I promise I’ll try my best.” I swallowed the rest of my bagel, discarding my and David’s trash in a small can by the door.

  “I haven’t stretched my legs yet today. Would you take a walk with me?” David asked.

  “I’d love to.” I slid my phone into the back pocket of my jeans and moved to stand next to his chair.

  David stood, his right hand grasping his cane while he offered his left arm to me. I wrapped my arm around him and followed as he led me into the hallway. We passed the nurses’ station, heading down to the large window at the end of the corridor. I could see an improvement in David’s gait and posture from my last visit, and I was glad to see him doing so well. On our walk back to his room, I stopped David in front of the nurses’ station.

  “David, would you mind taking a picture with me?”

  “Not at all,” he answered, beaming.

  I removed my phone from my pocket and approached the desk. “Excuse me.” I garnered the attention of one of the nurses who was speedily charting at a computer. “I know you’re extremely busy, but is there any way you could take a picture of us really quick?”

  “I’d love to.” The nurse beamed at me and rounded the desk. I pulled up the camera app on my phone and explained what buttons to push. Then I walked back to David, wrapping my arm around his shoulder. “Okay, smile!” she called out brightly.

  The nurse snapped several pictures, and just before she clicked the flash a final time, David turned to kiss me on the cheek. I couldn’t help but laugh at how alike David and Jacks were. The Carmichael men certainly weren’t short on charm.

  “Thank you again.” I accepted my phone from the nurse and assisted David back into his room. Once he was settled in his armchair, I gathered up my belongings. “Well, I better head out if I want to make it to the hospital before my shift starts.”

  “Don’t work too hard tonight.”

  “I’ll try my best.” I kissed David on the cheek before heading toward the door. “I’ll stop by for another visit next week.”

  “Sounds good to me!”

  “Bye.”

  In no time, I was back in my car and driving to UCMC. As I drove, I considered David’s words. He was right that Jacks needed time to open up to me. The depth of his loss was unfathomable. Losing both of my parents on the same day would’ve broken me. The fact he managed to survive was amazing. I wanted to be irritated with him, but the task proved impossible. Jacks had enough stress on his plate this week without me adding to it. And with that thought, I broke my silence.

  I sent Jacks one of the pictures of David and me with a quick text.

  Me: Just wanted to say I hope all your meetings go well this week, and we are both so proud of you!

  Jacks: My two favorite people in one picture. How was your visit?

  Me: Great! We had a very insightful chat.

  Jacks: Has my grandpa convinced you to run away with him yet?

  Me: We’re taking things slow out of respect for you.

  Jacks: Ha ha ha. I swear I say this every day, but you’ll be the death of me.

  Me: One of these days, you’ll be glad to get rid of me.

  Jacks: Trust me, it’s highly unlikely.

  Me: Well, I’m headed in for my shift. I’ll talk to you later.

  Jacks: Bye, chipmunk.

  Relief surged through my veins after texting Jacks. We didn’t discuss any of the things we talked about last night, but for the moment, I didn’t care. I just needed to talk to him. When I stepped into the break room thirty minutes later, I even had a little pep in my step. I changed into my scrubs, tossing my phone in my front pocket and the rest of my clothes in my locker. Less than a minute later, I was joined by Nate.

  “Oh my God! I didn’t know you were picking up extra tonight!”

  I slid my stethoscope around my neck and filled my empty pocket with ink pens, alcohol swabs, and a couple of peppermints. “Yeah, I called this morning and told them to put me down to work tonight.” I clipped my name badge to my scrub top, the final adornment needed to complete my work attire.

  “I’m so glad you’re here! How was your weekend?”

  “Good. It was my birthday on Saturday.”

  Nate turned to me in shock. “It was your birthday, and you didn’t tell me? You bitch!”

  “I didn’t have a party or anything special. My roommates made me dinner, and we drank champagne. That’s pretty much it.”

  “Well, that is completely unacceptable! We are young, we are beautiful, and we need to party!”

  “I have a pole performance coming up soon. It’s a fundraiser, but you get to watch ladies pole dance if you want to come,” I suggested.

  “I’m in! When is it?”

  “Three weekends from now. I’ll reserve a ticket for you and text you the details.”

  “Awesome! Do you mind if I bring someon
e?”

  “Someone like a date?” I asked teasingly.

  “Maybe . . . ”

  “Tell me.” I nudged Nate softly with my shoulder.

  “His name is Eric, and he is super gorgeous. We had our first date last week, and he’s amazing.”

  “What does he do?”

  “He’s finishing up a psych degree right now, so he’s a barista at Starbucks.”

  “Nice. Can he get us the hook up on coffee?”

  Nate winked at me and held the break room door open. “I’ll see what I can do!”

  chapter sixteen

  honey

  PER USUAL, NATE AND I hit the ground with our feet running. After a cardiac arrest, two ER admissions, and a barrage of call lights, we were beyond the point of exhaustion.

  “What do you need help with?” I glanced away from my computer screen to check on Nate.

  “Life. Have you finished charting your admission yet?”

  “Working on it right now.” My fingers typed furiously as I worked to enter every bit of my patient’s past medical history. “What time is it?”

  “Thirty till one,” he answered.

  “Good. Maybe some of these patients will go to sleep, and we can eat.”

  “I didn’t bring anything. Would you be willing to share your lunch with me?” he asked, batting his eyelashes at me.

  “Damn! Of course, you would ask me that on the one day I didn’t bring my lunch!” I cried.

  Nate whined loudly. “But you always bring your lunch!”

  “I know! I left the house early and didn’t think about it.”

  “I’ve never been so hungry in my life.”

  I was about to reply when I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket. When I pulled it out, my screen lit up with a new text message from Jacks.

  Jacks: How is work?

  Me: Busy as hell! A patient went into cardiac arrest thirty minutes into my shift and we haven’t stopped since. We got him back though, and he’s doing good right now.

  Jacks: I’m sorry to hear that but glad your patient is doing okay. I know how you feel. I just got home from the office and I’m exhausted.

  Me: Damn. That sucks. We’ve been so busy I haven’t gotten a chance to eat and I forgot my lunch too. It seems I’m going to be feasting on Twizzlers and Doritos. #nutritious