Brave in the Woods

by Tracy Holczer

  Luca hit the button for the automatic window at the back of the station wagon. Juni got out and grab-bed the small cooler with the sandwiches Mrs. Tavares had made for their lunch; the tamales were meant for dinner. Gabby unwrapped the aluminum foil and took giant bites. She had a ton of small braids in her hair, and it would take a long time to unwind them all. Juni got to work as Gabby leaned against the car. It gave Juni something to do with her hands while they waited.

  That’s when the real fight would begin.

  FLOOR MATS AND DESTINY

  THERE HAD BEEN a time when Juni knew just what to say to get what she needed from Dad. He had always been on her side when Mom got especially panicked about Juni’s breathing and what activities she should or shouldn’t do. He’d never treated Juni like she was fragile, and so she didn’t feel that way most of the time.

  But it was as though her dad had vanished with Connor and left an imposter in his place. One she didn’t know how to talk to anymore.

  “Your dad is so stubborn,” Luca said, taking a bite of his own sandwich. He’d plopped down on a grassy strip between the parking lot and the lake. “Remember that time he patched a small hole in the fishing boat with that stuff he bought off the internet? Me and Connor told him it didn’t look like it would hold, but he didn’t listen. We laughed like crazy when he came back soaked from head to toe. He lost the boat, his fishing gear, the whole works. Good thing he knows how to swim.”

  “Reminding me that my dad is impossible isn’t helping,” Juni said. She wiped a trickle of sweat from her temple.

  “We might as well talk about all the bad news,” Mason said. “It’s three fifteen. Who knows how long before your dad gets here. Even if you talk him right into it, we won’t get to Mammoth until near dark.”

  Juni had an idea. “I need to find Connor’s watch. Lena said I needed something small and personal for the spell.”

  Luca knew about Connor’s watch. They’d all helped Connor try to find it. “Right now?” he said.

  Juni nodded and opened the back gate of the wagon. Connor’s banged-up metal toolbox sat wedged against the side panel. She heaved it out, setting it on the ground beside the driver’s-side door.

  “We need to take the car apart,” she said.

  “Um . . . what?” Luca said, scratching his head.

  “Just the inside. The seats and stuff. If the car is in pieces in the parking lot, it will give me even more time to talk Dad into letting us go the rest of the way.”

  “Are you sure?” he said.

  Juni reached into the toolbox and handed him a socket wrench as an answer.

  They watched as Luca unbolted the driver’s seat and set it on the asphalt. Juni wished she’d known this had been the last morning she’d have in the car with Connor’s watch. That watch had kept her company and given her a place to think about Connor for the last five weeks. It had given her a reason to get out of bed every morning.

  “I have no idea how to get the bench seat off,” Luca said, peering into the back seat.

  When Connor had restored the inside of the Caprice, Juni had been there every step of the way, so she climbed in and reached under the back seat on the driver’s side, feeling for the lever she knew was there. When she found it, she pushed the lever and pulled up on the seat the way Connor had shown her. Luca helped lift it out.

  The bees buzzed in Juni’s chest. She took a puff from her inhaler before she got wheezy.

  “Okay, Juni?” Luca said. She felt his hand on her shoulder.

  “Okay,” she said.

  It didn’t take long. The watch had just slipped into a small opening in the carpeting underneath the driver’s-side seat. She pulled it out by the black fabric band.

  Grandpa Charlie had given Connor the Timex on his sixteenth birthday. A working person’s watch was what Grandpa Charlie had said, much easier and quicker to check than a cell phone. Juni remembered Grandpa Charlie showing Connor how to set the alarm, telling him he wouldn’t have to depend on cell phone batteries anymore, either. A man with a watch was truly in charge of his own destiny.

  They’d all laughed when he’d said it.

  Just then, Dad pulled in beside the Caprice. He opened the door of the truck and stepped out, bald head shining in the sun.

  “What in the world have you done now?” he said, taking in the various car parts on the asphalt.

  Juni climbed out of the Caprice to face him, fastening the watch, which hung on her wrist like a bracelet.

  “I’m taking charge of my own destiny,” she said.

  HANDSOME DAN

  FACING HER DAD, it struck Juni how it wasn’t the curse that had turned him into a bear. He’d always been bearlike, growling when he was bothered. Like when he couldn’t get his plump fingers to fasten a hook and eye, or reach into a small space, he’d roar for Juni— Jun-iiiii-perrrrr!—and she would come running, giggling at how her giant dad could be set to growling by something as tiny as the screw holding his glasses together.

  He was everything to Juni. The kindly king in the fairy tale. The one who was always on her side. Juni understood everything was about to change, one way or the other. If Dad forced her to get in the car, or the truck, and insisted on driving her home and away from Elsie, he would really and truly have become someone she didn’t know anymore.

  Anya came around the back side of the truck, and Juni ran to her outstretched arms, working hard to be brave. She had to see this through. Had to find a way to make Dad understand.

  Think about the bee smoker, Juni. The way it quiets the bees.

  Soon enough, Dad pulled her from Anya’s arms and took her into his own.

  “I’m so sorry, Juni Bean,” he whispered. “I hope you can forgive me.”

  He kissed her forehead and they rocked there for a minute, or maybe it was a day, or forever. Eventually, Dad leaned back. “Now. What in the world have you done here?”

  Juni held up her wrist. “I found Connor’s watch.”

  Unexpectedly, Dad laughed. He laughed and laughed as he took in the discarded seats in the parking lot. “I’ll say you did.”

  * * *

  It took a while to put the car back together, with Dad growling at the Caprice as he tried to bolt the seats in. Finally, Luca took over, so Dad growled at Luca.

  In the meantime, Anya led Juni, Gabby and Mason into the Stag’s Head Bookstore. The store might have been a lakefront cottage once upon a time. It stood alone, tucked off the road and nestled in the woods beyond the parking lot.

  A tinkling bell announced their arrival, and a young man came from behind the old cash register to greet them, a fluffy dog at his heels. “Anya! You’re early this year! Grandma didn’t mention you were coming.”

  The dog sniffed Juni’s shoes and then seemed to smile at her, like Elsie had in the picture with Connor. She had one brown eye and one blue. Her name was Norman.

  Anya walked over and gave the man one of her quick wring-out-the-sponge hugs. The man’s eyes matched, both brown. He had a lumberjack beard. “Nathan. It’s good to see you. Is Alice here?”

  “Couldn’t keep Grandma away, even if we tried,” Nathan said. “Grandma!”

  As they waited, Juni noticed a wall of pictures to their left. Family photos, and an old black-and-white of the Stag’s Head with a man standing in the doorway, a big smile on his face and a beard the same as Nathan’s. Juni wondered if that was the Mr. Halloran Anya had written about, Alice’s father.

  Anya put her arm around Juni and they looked at the old photos, Anya pointing to one of her as a small child, and one of Will. Teddy and Abigail. Juni’s guess was correct as Anya pointed out Mr. Halloran. Juni stared extra long at Will, who looked so much like Connor—same wavy dark hair, same wide-set dark eyes. Anya’s story came to life on the wall in front of them.

  “This is where you come on your pilgrimage, right?” Juni said.r />
  “I still wander the woods looking for the antler bone. I know it’s long gone, but I look anyway. I visit my family. I go through old photographs and remember. Maybe it’s time for something new.”

  “Anya, my love.” A very old woman walked toward them, leaning on a wooden cane. Her hair was snow white and sparse, like flour spread thin on a cutting board.

  “Alice,” Anya said. She took Alice’s hands and held tight.

  “I was so sorry to hear about your grandson,” Alice said. Her face had a thousand crinkly wrinkles. A million. “I recognize Juniper from her photographs, and who else do we have here?”

  After introductions, Dad came in, with Luca following right behind.

  “Handsome Dan!” Alice said, and shuffled toward Dad, who gave her a delicate hug. “What brings all of you to our neck of the woods earlier than usual this year?”

  Every last person looked at Juni, who didn’t hesitate. “We’re going to bring home Connor’s dog,” she said.

  “Let’s make ourselves comfortable, then. It seems there is a story here, and I’d like to know what it is,” Alice said.

  Anya pushed a lock of hair behind Juni’s ear. “It’s your story now.”

  AN OCCURRENCE OF WONDER

  IT WAS FOUR o’clock and too late to drive to Mammoth, so they decided to start first thing in the morning. No stopping for miracles this time, or ice cream sundaes or gingerbread houses in the woods. They would drive the 139 remaining miles straight through.

  In the meantime, Alice invited them to stay overnight at her cabin. There was enough room for the adults inside, and the kids could assemble their tent and sleep beside the lake. They would have a great feast of tamales for dinner.

  Alice wanted to make a stop first, though. For Anya.

  Nathan closed the bookstore early and helped his grandmother into his Prius, then opened the back door for Norman to hop in. They drove out of the parking lot in a caravan, Nathan leading the way.

  Luca had selected Patsy Cline out of Connor’s box of 8-track tapes, and as Patsy sang “I Fall to Pieces” and “Crazy,” Juni took comfort in the confident sound of her voice. She sang stories about love and loss as though she’d actually fallen to pieces and gone crazy and lived to tell the tale. Patsy seemed to be saying that if she could do it, well, gosh darn it, so could you.

  Soon enough, the Prius turned down a two-lane road and made a sharp left into a long driveway. Each car passed a low brick sign.

  HAPPY HOMESTEAD CEMETERY

  “This is where Anya’s family is buried,” Gabby said solemnly.

  Juni closed her eyes, the hot breeze from Gabby’s open window blowing the waves of her hair. Hurricane hair was what Connor used to call it.

  After parking, Juni watched Anya climb down from the truck and look out over the pale headstones. The cemetery was in a small valley, flat and covered in what might have been the greenest grass Juni had ever seen, the majesty of Monument Peak in the distance. There were ponderosa and sugar pines here and there, but most of the grave sites were in the open with an unobstructed view of the sun and sky, the stars at night.

  Anya started off toward the left side of the cemetery, and Juni followed. Everyone else stayed behind. Anya wore a sleeveless white blouse, short pants and her trusty hiking sandals. She wore them all summer because she liked to be prepared for when the urge to go walking came over her. The woods would call, she said, and she’d always come home with treasures: singular rocks or a perfectly symmetrical pinecone. An abandoned hummingbird nest the size of a walnut shell. Anya kept those treasures on shelves Grandpa Charlie had made special for that very purpose. There were bluebird eggshells and hunks of quartz and a basket she’d woven from pine needles, and Juni felt each piece was as much a part of Anya as her ancient blue eyes or the stories she told.

  Anya finally stopped in front of a large headstone with three names carved into it.

  Juni read the names of her family.

  Emily Katherine Weisert

  Hubbard Leon Weisert

  William Hubbard Weisert

  “Mama loved sauerkraut. She put it on everything. Tuna fish sandwiches. Hamburgers. Scrambled eggs. And Dad was a reader. He used to buy paperbacks from Friends of the Library for five cents apiece,” Anya said. “Will liked practical jokes. He’d hide my favorite sweater, put a rubber snake under my pillow or turn the clock forward so I thought I was late for school.”

  A flock of dark-bellied geese honked overhead in the late-afternoon sunshine, flying toward a large pond in the distance. Juni shaded her eyes and watched them land one by one. Splash. Splash. Splash.

  “Why didn’t you ever tell anyone what happened?” Juni said.

  “I didn’t want anyone else to have to carry the burden, but there comes a time when stories need to be told. This was the right time for both of us, I think.”

  Anya reached into her pocket and took out three flat pebbles. There was a vase attached to the headstone near the bottom filled with similar pebbles, and Juni remembered the part of Anya’s story where Teddy had driven her here for the first time. How she didn’t have flowers, so she’d left pebbles instead. The headstone was beautiful.

  “Mrs. Wheeler carved this,” Juni said.

  Anya nodded.

  Juni rested against Anya’s arm, considering how Anya had lost her whole world and managed, somehow, to go on. Which, Juni figured, was its own sort of miracle. She reached into her pocket for the carved cedar tree from Hickory’s.

  “I think you can have this back now.”

  Anya put a hand to her mouth in surprise. She took the carving from Juni and pressed it against her chest. “I think you’re right.”

  * * *

  They set up the large tent, each of them taking turns banging the metal pylons into the soft earth of Alice’s yard, which ended at a sandy beach, the lake beyond. Anya would sleep in the guest room as, Juni found out, she’d been doing for the last fifty-eight years. Alice’s little cottage was nestled in a sea of trees.

  Eventually, the sun dipped past the mountains on the far side of the lake, leaving the sky a bright orange. They collected brushwood for kindling and sat in beach chairs as Nathan built a fire in a stone firepit.

  “One dollar says the sunset will turn the sky pink.” Gabby reached into her jean shorts pocket, pulled out a rumpled dollar bill and waved it around.

  “I’m in. I say red,” Dad said.

  “I’m going with purple,” Juni said.

  Once they’d each chosen colors, they sat quietly and waited for the sky to decide.

  Gabby won. So did Dad. And so did Juni, if you counted the clouds. The pink-red-purple sky turned the lake into a kaleidoscope, and a hush came over the world. As though the animals in the woods, the birds in the trees and even the wind itself were taking it all in.

  Long after sunset—when the crackling fire had turned to embers, and the adults went inside for a glass of wine—Juni gathered Mason, Gabby and Luca to perform Lena’s magic spell. They walked a little ways into the woods, climbed over a fallen tree and sat in a circle, Juni setting a flashlight in the middle. The directions Lena had placed in the paper bag were simple. Juni was to set Connor’s watch beside the flashlight, and they were each to hold him in their thoughts, imagining a cord connecting them, pulling Connor home.

  Then they told stories.

  Like the time Luca and Connor had taken Juni, Mason and Gabby snipe hunting in the woods when they’d been in the third grade. It was dark, and the boys had told the trio they were to stand under a pine tree, holding an open burlap sack. Connor told them to yodel, and then the snipes would run straight into the bag because they were very dumb and liked yodeling. Only, Juni had already heard from Mary Jo Bingly how snipes weren’t real, but everyone’s dumb big brother had to at least give it a try. She said it’s what big brothers talked about in the
locker room at school. Fake snipe hunting and chess strategies, all while flexing their biceps.

  So they were prepared. Mason had recorded the roar of the Tyrannosaurus rex from the Jurassic Park movie on his phone and borrowed his mom’s portable speaker for extra volume. Once they were in position near their chosen trees, Luca and Connor trying hard not to laugh too loud, Mason let the recording go at top volume.

  Instead of running away like cowards, though, both Connor and Luca had run straight for Juni, Mason and Gabby, herding them through the woods like sheep. By the time they stomped up the deck stairs, Juni, Mason and Gabby were bent over laughing. Mason played the recording again, and Luca and Connor chased them until they all fell into a pile.

  “Don’t join the army,” Juni said to Luca in the quiet of their circle. “Connor wouldn’t want you to.”

  “What?” Gabby said.

  “What are you talking about?” Luca said.

  “Your hair. You cut it short. Just like Connor did last summer before he left for basic training,” Juni said.

  Luca touched his hair. “I’m not going to join the army, Juni. It’s not about that.”

  They waited for Luca to say more, faces shadowed by the harsh flashlight.

  “Connor gave me such a hard time, you know? About my hair. Every morning when I looked in the mirror, all I heard was Connor’s voice, and I just didn’t want to hear it for a while.”

  Which was not what Juni expected, but she understood perfectly.

  They laughed about Connor’s obsession with keeping his sneakers clean, and the many times he tried to grow a mustache, and all his failed attempts at learning to play guitar.

  Eventually, they were quiet and Juni knew this part was finished. She fastened the watch to her wrist and led the way back to the firepit. She spoke to the trees as she went, hoping they’d pass the message along. Find him and bring him home to me.