Chasing After Destiny

by Emma Easter

  He blinked and stared at her. Keziah was the last person he wanted to talk about right now, especially with Sofia. He sighed warily and looked away.

  Chapter 11

  Sofia watched Jude’s countenance change. The smile melted off his face, and for a long moment, he didn’t look at her.

  “If you don’t want to talk about your ex right now, I understand,” she said softly.

  He turned to face her again. “No, you need to know everything. That’s why we are going on these dates, isn’t it?”

  She said nothing but kept looking intently at him.

  “Keziah and I met in secondary school, what you Americans call high school.” He had a faraway look on his face as his spoke. “Just like me, she was a pastor’s kid, and her parents sent her to the high school I was already attending because it was a Christian school, and a good school too. She had been in another school, but transferred to mine in what you would call the tenth grade. Even though she was the new kid, she was vibrant and exuberant, and she soon became very popular. I, on the other hand, was very reserved and stayed away from the popular kids. Believe it or not, I was very quiet and shy in high school.”

  She chuckled. “No, I believe it. I can see you as the handsome, brooding guy who all the girls wanted but knew to stay away from because you just weren’t interested in any of them.”

  He smiled and shook his head. “I don’t know if you are just teasing me or being serious.”

  Sofia laughed softly but didn’t say anything else. He continued, and she smiled as she listened to him talk about the popular and unpopular kids in his school. She was surprised at how similar his high school experience was to hers despite the fact that he’d lived in a country she’d never heard of until recently. She chuckled and said, “I guess kids are sort of the same no matter what country they live in.”

  He nodded and went on. “I had noticed Keziah a few times and was attracted to her, but so were a host of other boys in the school. Because of that, I did not think I had any chance with her. One day, I was walking down the hallway when I saw her walking toward me with a group of her friends. I tried not to look at her and kept my eyes averted because I didn’t want to get mixed up with the popular kids and their problems. I was surprised when I felt someone come alongside me and turned to find she was the one. She kept walking beside me as though we were longtime friends who were just taking a stroll together. I remember the huge smile on her face, as though she had a secret that we both shared.

  Sofia could not help grinning. She could imagine the look on his face when his crush began to walk down the hallway with him. “What did you say to her?”

  “I was too dumbfounded to speak, and she didn’t say anything to me. We just kept walking until I got to my locker. I felt awkward as I opened it because I could not think of anything to say. Everything in me was screaming for me to talk to her, to ask her out, but I could not bring myself to say the words.”

  Sofia laughed. “It reminds me of the first day we met.”

  He chuckled. “You’re right. I felt almost the same way.”

  Sofia arched her brows. He had not been able to speak to Keziah because he had a huge crush on her, but did he feel the same way about her? Was that why he had said nothing for a long time that day. She had noticed how uncomfortable he’d been that day, and she’d been nervous as well, but now she wondered if his nervousness was because he’d liked her even though they’d just met. She sighed softly and forced herself to focus on his story again.

  “I kept bringing out my textbooks and notebooks from my locker and putting them in my bag while I scolded myself for not having anything to say. Finally, I forced myself to speak. The thing is I cannot even remember what I said, but I know it was something stupid and incoherent.”

  “And did she say anything to you after that?” Sofia asked.

  “She smiled brightly, and I remember my heart racing, and then she said I was very handsome and asked what my name was.”

  “Wow, she’s a bold girl! At that age, I would have died rather than reveal to a boy I liked that I was into him.”

  Jude smiled. “That was Keziah. Very bold. When I told her my name, she asked if we could start hanging out every day.”

  Sofia smiled again as he continued. “I nodded dumbly, and I thought she was going to walk away, but she did not. She stood there talking to me and asking me a lot of questions until I opened up and finally became comfortable with her. Soon we became best friends.”

  “Friends,” Sofia said. “So you did not start dating immediately?”

  “No, our parents were very strict and did not allow either of us to date. We were not allowed to do anything about our clearly growing feelings for each other. But two years later, I finally asked Keziah out. That was in our final year of high school. When she said yes, I was ecstatic. We were inseparable and when our parents finally found out about us. They didn’t make much of a fuss, which was surprising at first. But I later found out that they knew each other, as they were in the same ministry circles. Anyway, before we graduated high school, Keziah and I were already talking about getting married.”

  “And did you get engaged right after high school?” Sofia asked.

  “Yes, but it was a private engagement. We were too young, at least in the eyes of the adults at that time, to be engaged. But it didn’t stop us. It was around that time that Keziah’s desire to immigrate to America became obsessive. She talked non-stop about it and constantly said she wanted to go to the US for college. I immediately wanted the same thing — not because I was particularly interested but because I did not want to be separated from her. However, her parents could not afford to send her to America to study. She tried to get funding and a scholarship, but it just didn’t work out. We both went to different universities in our country but managed to stay in touch, and our relationship continued. Immediately after university, we announced to everyone that we wanted to get married and our parents were pleased.”

  Once again sadness overtook his face.

  “We planned to get married in a few months and began to prepare for the wedding, but then I noticed that Keziah became more and more distant. Whenever I asked her what was wrong, she said it was nothing. She was just stressed out from the wedding planning. Soon, I noticed that she was disinterested even in the wedding planning, and I had to pick up a lot of things that she did not do. I became more and more worried, but I decided to believe that stress was why she stopped answering my calls. And then two weeks before the wedding, like I told you before, she broke everything off. It was one of the worst days of my life, probably the worst, except for the death of my parents.”

  “And when exactly did you find out that she’d left for America?” Sofia asked, her heart breaking for him.

  “A few months later. The most heart-rending thing was hearing that she left to be with some guy who lived in America and was a citizen. She left on a fiancé visa, and the last I heard, they were married.”

  Sofia felt like reaching out and hugging him. He had already told her some of what he’d just narrated, but now that she knew the full story, she understood why he’d said he still thought about his ex every day. He looked devastated. “I’m sorry, Jude. But she did not deserve you. You deserve much better. Someone who will love you no matter what.” She remembered what he had told her days ago, that he had come to America partly because he had an impossible hope of seeing his ex again.

  A weird feeling ran through her, and she frowned as she tried to pinpoint what it was. Was it jealousy she was feeling? And why was she jealous of his ex? The girl was not in his life anymore and, even if she appeared today, Sofia had no hold on him. She would be happy for him if he was happy his ex was back in his life. She liked him, but she could not afford to feel anything more for him. That would be asking for trouble.

  She pushed away the confusing thoughts and changed the subject. “I’m hungry, Jude. I think we should go to that pie place and get something to eat.”

&nbs
p; The sadness on his face immediately lifted, and he smiled brightly at her. “That’s a good idea,” he said.

  They made their way to the building where they sold the delicious-looking pies that had caused her mouth to water earlier on. They sat in the middle of the place with a few other guests — couples and families who had come to pick fruit from the farm. They both ordered blueberry pies and tall glasses of iced tea and tucked in.

  Sofia began to tell him about her travels as she relished her pie. Soon they switched to talking about the fruit they had picked and how delicious and fresh it was. From time to time, her eyes went to the mounted TV on the wall. The sound was muted, but it was on a news channel and she wasn’t particularly interested in what they were showing.

  She continued to chat with Jude as they ate, and then she frowned slightly as her gaze fell on the TV screen again. They were now reporting on foreign news and, for a few seconds, she watched the images of burning cars and blown up houses, weeping women and children. And then she looked away and focused her attention on Jude, who had his back to the TV set.

  A minute later, something else caught her attention on the television screen, and she glanced once more at it. She shuddered and her breath caught in her throat. Scrolling beneath the frightening images of violence were the words, “COUNTRY OF BAKALI IN FULL-BLOWN WAR.”

  She took hold of Jude’s hand, but before she could stop him from looking at the horrid images from his country, he turned around. She immediately squeezed his hand. When he turned around again, he had a haunted look on his face.

  “I’m so sorry, Jude,” she said, searching his eyes. He bowed his head, and her heart broke for him again. Threading her fingers through his on the table, she watched him with tears in her eyes.

  For a long moment, neither of them spoke. She kept squeezing his hand to show him she was here for him, even though she didn’t know exactly what to say to comfort him. Thankfully, the news on TV about his country’s frightful state had been removed, and a talk show was now on.

  “I’m so sorry,” she whispered again.

  He finally looked up at her and gave a long, agonized sigh. “They are destroying everything,” he said, his voice mixed with anger and sorrow. “It’s not enough for them to take power — they have to destroy everything and everyone. Because of them, I don’t have my father anymore, and they took friends of mine as well. Young men who all had a bright future.”

  She didn’t know what to say to that. She had never followed the violence in his country. Until she met him, she hadn’t even known such a country existed. The worst thing was that his father was one of the casualties of the senseless violence going on there. She could only imagine what was spinning through his mind. It was not just that his country was at war, but he had lost his father and friends because of it. She wanted to weep as he held his head in his hands, but she had to be strong for him.

  “Jude, I cannot say I know how you’re feeling, but know that I’ll always be here for you.”

  He lifted his eyes and looked at her. “Thank you,” he said, and gave her a sad smile.

  She searched his eyes again. Seeing the sorrow and hurt in them filled her with pain. The images he had seen were heartbreaking. He couldn’t go back there. She could not allow it. If he was deported, he might not survive for long.

  “Jude, we should get married as soon as possible,” she said. “You need to get your Green card quickly.”

  He gazed at her, his eyes boring into hers, and then grimaced.

  She frowned, worried. “I’m sorry, Jude. I didn’t mean to push you to get married sooner than we planned. I just thought, because of what we saw, it would be the best thing to do so you can get your Green card immediately. If that is not what you want...”

  He shook his head. “No… I mean, yes. Of course it’s what I want, Sofia. It’s just that... I don’t have the rest of the money to pay you yet.”

  She shrugged. “I don’t care about that. You cannot go back to your country. Your life would be in danger. We can get married now, and then you can come up with the money later.”

  “Shaffar will not let us get married until I pay the money I owe,” he said. “I gave him less than what he asked for the first installment. I doubt he will let us get married when I don’t have the pre-wedding amount I owe him.”

  “Shaffar is not the one getting married to you. I am. We will get married now, whether you have the money or not,” she said.

  He looked overcome with emotion and gazed at their joined hands. She had forgotten that she was still holding his hand. She started to pull her hand away, but he held on. “You’ll really do that for me?” he asked.

  “Of course I will,” she said.

  He smiled widely. “Thank you, Sofia.” His smile faded some, and he asked, “Are you sure it’s what you want?”

  “Very sure, Jude.”

  They began to eat their pies again as they talked about how and when she would file for his Adjustment of Status once they were married. Sofia knew very little of the process, if anything, and Jude did not know much about it either. But he knew more than she did. He told her that they would fill out separate forms and then be given a date to appear for the interview.

  They talked about the kinds of questions they might be asked at the interview and even had a few laughs as Jude brought up one silly question after another.

  “What is the name of your wife’s sister’s husband’s father’s child’s friend’s son?”

  “Jude, stop it!” Sofia laughed. “How many strands of hair are on your wife’s head?”

  Jude did not laugh or even smile, and she said, “Well so much for trying to be funny.”

  “No,” he smiled. “It’s not that you weren’t funny. It’s just that it’s so strange hearing those words. Your wife.” His smile widened as he gazed into her eyes, causing her heart to skip a beat. “Imagine, we will be married soon and you will be my wife.”

  She studied him as he gazed at her. What was he thinking? Was he thinking about his ex? About the fact that his ex had been the girl he really wanted to marry — and from all he’d said — probably the girl he still wanted to marry but would never be able to?

  Another thread of jealousy ran through Sofia, and she suppressed a groan. She had to remember why she was doing this. She sighed. It was supposed to be for the money, and yet she had told him she did not care about the money. And right at this time it was totally true. All she cared about was for him to be safe.

  Is that really all, Sofia?

  Once again, she pushed away the troubling thoughts in her mind and then turned her eyes away from Jude.

  They finished eating their pies, and the waiter came and cleared away their table. They both remained in their seats as they continued to talk about their friends. She told him a bit more about Edith and then about Lily. He told her with an expression that held both amusement and what looked like shame about the parties and drunken fêtes he’d attended or held at his off-campus apartment.

  “I could drink everyone under the table,” he said, and then shook his head. “What am I saying? Samuel and my other friends will tell you that I probably still can. I partied months away in school, and I think that was why I did not pay particular attention to my immigration status. The day a friend of mine came to tell me that one of our mutual friends had been deported, I decided to slow down on all that partying. I leave it all to Samuel and the other guys now.” He looked embarrassed, and she gave him a smile to know she was not judging him.

  “I’ve had my own share of wild partying and just plain foolishness,” she said. Once again, she thought of telling him about her suicide attempt, but she changed her mind. She just didn’t feel comfortable telling him about that yet or the fact that George was married.

  George! She hadn’t really thought about him for the past few days. What was he doing now? He was probably with his wife, bowing to her every wish. She pushed George out of her mind and glanced at her wristwatch.

  “J
ude! We’ve been here for too long. I think it’s time to go.” She smiled at him and started to rise from her seat, then sat down again when he shook his head.

  “We don’t have to go now, do we?” he asked. “Do you have any other plans for this evening?”

  She leaned back in her seat and shook her head. “I guess not,” she said and smiled, pleasantly surprised that he wanted their date to go on.

  He smiled back at her. “Well, since we are fast-tracking this relationship and we have to get to know as much of each other as we can, I suggest we play a game.”

  She stared at him and then chuckled. “A game? What kind of game?”

  “I’ll ask as many questions as I can about you. Rapid questions that you will have to answer in less than three minutes. Are you up for it?”

  “Sure,” she smiled.

  He shot her one rapid question after another, and she tried to keep up. They were mostly fun, silly questions, like how many toothbrushes she had used in the past three months and whether she said bless you when someone sneezed. After some time, she laughed. “Jude! These questions are silly! Nobody is going to ask them, and they are unimportant.”

  He laughed, and she shook her head.

  “We need to ask important questions,” she said. “Maybe questions like what your favorite color is, or your best friend’s last name.”

  “Okay then,” he said, grumbling playfully. “If we must be so serious.”

  She laughed again. “They are not super serious questions.” She searched her mind briefly for what to ask and said, “Okay, I’ll begin.” She asked him what his favorite movie was. He told her he liked the Transformers franchise. After that, he asked her what the name of her first child would be if she had a child now. She told him she had way too many names she’d picked out already and had never been able to settle on one.