Deity

by deity

  Chapter 11

  Nikki walks home from another shift at the cafe, her mind again dwelling on Billy's unusual behaviour and how she hoped to uncover the reasons behind it. Her beginner classes of meditation had been very frustrating, trying to sit still and get comfortable while her mind keeps racing. She has persisted, telling herself she can only help Billy if she knows what he’s going through. But despite this motivation she hadn't made much progress though she wasn't giving up, far from it. She would continue with the meditation and, when she got home, she would start talking about movie ideas with Billy and bring cults into the conversation. Of course she had dozens of different movie ideas and with all this recent bizarro behaviour of astral planing and all the rest of it she'd come up with plenty more recently.

  Sure some similar stuff had been done in Ghost, Invisible Man etc but at the same time she knew this was different.. and intriguing. Of course it was still only an idea. Since Billy's revelation astral planing, or what little she understood of it, had regularly been on her mind. So it was inevitable she thought of it as a movie.

  Since it wasn't a totally new idea she had to make sure everything else was as good or better. She had to consider every facet of the story, like the spiritual; should she downplay it or make it a focus point? And what about the action, she could see amazing scenes of spectral 'humans' floating through the the real world whose inhabitants remained unaware that they were being watched. But who would they watch a childhood sweetheart now unhappy, a murderer who has avoided justice. There were so many questions. So many things that had to be just right. Her eyes lit up no matter who she told these ideas to.

  Of course one of biggest dilemmas was who would play Billy- not that she’d call a character that but there would have to be one. She started thinking of actors, it couldn’t be one of those heart throb types who looked more boy-band than thespian.

  And the Brad Pitts and George Clooneys were out. For a start they were too expensive and she needed someone with more rugged looks. While Brad Pitt was often the scruffy type- 12 Monkeys, Snatch, Fight Club- he was simply too hot to be the boy next door type.

  Yes, it would have to be an up and coming actor- Maybe Heath Ledger? Ryan Gosling or Reynolds. Mmm…again (most of them were) too pretty. God, were there any young actors who weren’t models out there... Tobey Maguire? No, too nerdy, I mean, sure it had worked for Spiderman but that just made it a more definite 'NO', she didn't want to appear to be copying the Peter Parker/ Spiderman character so it would have to be another actor, but who?

  Maybe someone local? There were lots of great Aussie actors and quite a few had already made the transition to Hollywood. Her Hollywood breakthrough blockbuster was a matter of 'when' rather than 'if', she told herself, no harm in positive thinking right? So Aussie actors.. Steve Curry? Not quite..Wrong look, too much of an annoying little brother type. No, she needed a strong, silent type, moody or mysterious, yes, mysterious was better. A few years ago Alex Dimitriades would have been a great choice but now she thought he was a little oldfor this role. After all an actor playing her boyfriend had to be HOT! They wouldn't do the role justice otherwise she thought with a smirk. Not that she had seen much of him lately, he was now back to spending all his time with Jas, their yoga and astral planing teacher, Yachi and whoever and whatever made up this cult that she couldn't stop worrying about. A week ago, Billy spent all day moping around the house and now, once more, he was rarely there, he would always take hours to return her calls, only to brush her off. Yes, he was back in the cult. And that was why she had begun meditating; to gain a glimpse of this bizarre and, judging by the funeral they recently attended, dangerous world her man was caught up in. She knew Billy wasn't overly expressive and any physical clues from him would be slight. However she also remembered his face when he first mentioned his astral planing to her, he was clearly relieved. She remembered that beautiful moment so clearly, after all their year's together he didn't want to keep this secret from her any longer. Surely he would feel the same emotions if there was something to her cult theory and, even if he didn't say anything directly, the clues would be there in his mannerisms and she would notice them.

  She had been formulating her plan all afternoon. And now she was home it was time to put it into action.

  ‘Hi, honey. I’m home’ she yells as she walks through the door of the apartment she and Billy shared

  ‘G’day how was your day?’ Billy responds from down the hall.

  ‘Good and yours?’ Nikki says as she walks from the hall to the left, toward the compact living area and kitchen.

  ‘Not bad at all. I think I like this. When you get your grant and become a big movie producer, I’ll be the house husband. Look, dinner’s well on the way.’ He tells her as she steps to her and greets her with a kiss.

  So had he moped around all day?, she wondered looking at him as he moves back into the used chopping boards and steaming pots and pans of their kitchen, though he’d made a start on dinner. It was definitely strange but that didn’t mean he was in a cult. Nikki was certain plenty of people thought she was strange but the explanation was a little simpler than a wacko religious group. Still it made a lot of sense, explaining a lot of bizarre things about his recent behavior that just couldn’t simply be written off as coincidental.

  She’s carefully crafting her words; how to broach the topic casually, without sounding suspicious. She has decided to talk of movies since Billy no longer talks of his planing… Or should I talk of Jas and the others at the funeral.

  No, she would use her movie angle. But I must be careful not to make it too close to home. She gets the rice from the microwave while Billy continues chopping the onions. He is far more comfortable in silence than she ever has been, she can’t stand it. She hasn’t said anything for some time now, which is very unusual for her. Has he noticed? Will he already be suspicious before she opens her mouth?

  She sneaks a glance over at him. He is placing the onions into the pan when he looks to her and says, ‘Honey, how about some chilli with this and maybe even some ginger?’

  ‘Yeah, sure’ is her startled reply, she forces a smile in reply to his, Did he pick up on it? She thinks as she says, ‘That’d be a nice touch’

  It is time for her to say something, to jump in the deep end. ‘I’ve been thinking about some new movie scenarios’

  ‘Ahh, I wondered what was going on, I don’t think you’ve ever kept quiet for so long before. This new idea of yours isn’t set in a monastery, is it?’

  He gives her a cheeky grin while her head spins out of control. What should I say now? What had I planned? Does he know? The movie, cults, remember? It is like a monastery but so what? This is just a regular, everyday conversation between a couple so act naturally goddammit!

  ‘Yeah well you know me - always thinking. My new idea is set in a cult, you know a religious fanatic with lots of brainwashed followers,’ once she gets going it seems to flow, her enthusiasm for the topic overcoming her hesitancy.

  ‘Except of course they’re all unaware, too caught up in his charms and wisdom. Talking of a fantastic existence far away from the mundane world that has left his followers disenchanted and led them to him’

  OK that was good, now for the clincher. Relax, ask casually and watch his reaction. ‘Do you think anything like that could happen here? The uni would probably be a prime spot to gather support?’

  ‘Why? You gonna do some in-depth research on this one? Give away all your earthly possessions, shave your head, ditch your boyfriend. It’d take some getting used to… Could I have your video, recorder and equipment? You won’t need that where you’re going?

  ‘Very funny! So you’d find it that easy to just up and move on if I left for some weirdo cult?’ she responds as she considers his response, it wasn’t quite the reaction she was after but it didn’t necessarily mean ohe wasn't involved in some kind of cult. Was he just ready to play cool with the topic, maybe it was part of the indoctrination? Or perhaps he
didn’t realise what he was involved in, he was too caught up in the trance of the astra or whatever he called the propaganda he has been fed.

  But where to go now? Should she continue to prod around now that the topic has been breached or should she change the topic?

  ‘Well I didn’t quite say that. I just figured that if you were leaving that some of your toys would help ease the pain. So how’s the rice doing? This stir-fry’s nearly done’

  His response breaks her train of thought as she listens for any clues from him but again he is making jokes about it before casually turning the conversation to dinner preparations. And now they sit down to eat and are soon planning for the weekend. Nikki’s prying is done, at least for now. However, while they talk about what they might do on Saturday night she keeps thinking, her investigation has just begun rather than already finished. But what would be her next step? She has just discovered that name-dropping won’t work and she is unsure about other types of inquisition or mind games. She isn’t going to snoop around after him but she can’t just leave it be. What if he is getting involved in some horrible cult? Would he disown her and their life together? Would he try to brainwash her into the sect? Start performing sickly rituals in her home?

  No, if her man is in trouble she had to something about it.