Patricia Hagan

by Loves Wine

  “So where did Jarvis think he was getting this money?”

  “That’s the point. Roger wouldn’t say. He just hinted that soon he’d have more money than Jarvis ever dreamed of having. And you know Jarvis was a very rich man. Jarvis didn’t want to come right out and accuse his own son, but he hinted to me that he thought there was something illegal involved. It worried him so terribly, Holly.”

  “Mother, it doesn’t matter any more. I know Roger for the despicable hypocrite he is. I’ll divorce him as quickly as I can and try to forget I ever knew him. I’m sorry I wasn’t able to feel closer to Jarvis. I’m sure if you loved him he wasn’t all bad, and—”

  “He was a good man,” Claudia said firmly. “And I don’t know why you feel the way you do. There’s something you aren’t telling me, and if you say you’re not hiding anything, I’ll know you’re lying.”

  “All right,” Holly admitted. “I have my reasons, but I’m not going to tell you what they are. Jarvis is dead. I am sorry he’s dead, for your sake, and I will be respectful and not speak unkindly of him. So now, can we just drop the subject?” She stood up, pitching sideways and throwing out her arm to steady herself as the ship rolled. ‘I think I’d like to go for a walk and get some air.”

  Claudia leaned back against the pillows and closed her eyes. “He was a good man, Holly. Remember that. One day, you’ll realize it’s true.”

  Holly tiptoed quietly from the cabin and climbed the stairs to the deck. She took great, drinking gulps of the pungent salt air and instantly felt refreshed. Picking her way over rigging and ropes, she made her way to the railing and stood marveling at the water glimmering blue in the sunshine. The ship pitched and rolled, but Holly only found the movement melodic, not upsetting. It lulled her.

  It was short-lived.

  Neil appeared at her side, grim-faced. “Holly, I hate to sound like a tyrant, but you don’t have any business up here. Please go back down to your cabin.”

  What was she doing wrong?

  He understood her confusion, and nodded toward the sailors working nearby. “They aren’t used to having a woman on board. This is a cargo ship, not a passenger ship. They’re a rough bunch, Holly, to put it bluntly. The captain sent word he wanted to see me, and he said to get you below. He doesn’t want his men getting notions.” He smiled. “Come along now. Spend the day with your mother, or rest. The captain has invited both of you to dine with him tonight.”

  Vexed, Holly jerked away. “Men! It seems women have to gear their every thought to what makes life comfortable for men.” With a swish of her skirts, she moved by him and went below to her tiny cabin…

  The day passed slowly, and late in the afternoon, Claudia said she would like to remain in bed for the evening.

  “I’m afraid I’m not much of a seafarer. Tea and soup will do fine for me, but you go on to dinner with the captain.”

  Holly did not try to change her mind. The sea did seem to be getting rougher.

  Holly rummaged through the valise that Lilda had hastily managed to pack, choosing the one really pretty dress. Mauve silk, it had a dipping bodice edged in delicate lace. It was strapless, and there were slip-on puff sleeves reaching from elbow to wrist. The skirt was a smooth sheath, the tight-fitting waist coming to a point over her flat stomach.

  She brushed her hair to hang straight and shining about her bare shoulders, then touched lilac cologne to her neck and ears. Staring at her reflection in the small, silver-stained rectangular wall mirror, she was satisfied with her appearance. Attractive, sophisticated, but not too elegant. Elegance would have little place on a cargo ship.

  Neil knocked on her door promptly at seven to escort her down the passageway, then down a short flight of stairs to the galley. A small room off to one side served as the officers’ mess. Upon entering, she saw two men politely stand in greeting. “First Officer Harold Pearson,” Neil nodded to the taller of the two. The other he introduced as Second Officer Malcolm Perryman. “Miss Holly Maxwell,” he finished, deciding for her that “Mrs. Roger Bonham” no longer had a place in her life.

  Officer Pearson gestured to her to take the seat next to him. “We’re sorry your mother couldn’t join us,” he said. “I hope she isn’t seasick.”

  Holly exchanged a glance with Neil, then said, “Mother’s been in poor health for some time. I’m anxious to get her home.”

  Officer Perryman chimed in, “Jamaica is a beautiful island, but if I were sick, I’d prefer to be home.”

  Captain Weyman Dubois walked in then, and Neil made the introductions. Holly found the small, rotund man polite and charming. He surprised her immediately by apologizing for sending her to her cabin earlier.

  “I don’t want to create problems,” she told him, “but I find it disconcerting when a woman has to hide, Captain.”

  “Not hide, Miss Maxwell,” he smiled brightly. “I’m afraid my crew are not all men of honor, as my officers are. In the future, should you feel the need for a walk, merely ask one of the officers to escort you. A lady as beautiful as you are should always be escorted,” he added with a friendly wink.

  Officer Perryman nodded to the only empty chair. “And where might Colonel Colter be? Don’t tell me he’s seasick,” he laughed.

  “He’ll be along,” Neil commented, then whispered to Holly, “I’m sorry. I went by his cabin again to tell him you were on board, but he just wasn’t…approachable. I’ve never seen him so…so…”

  “Don’t worry about it,” Holly responded lightly, holding out her glass for Captain Dubois to fill with crimson wine. “I think Colonel Colter’s problem is his problem alone. I’m not concerned.”

  Brave words. But twenty minutes later, when the door finally opened and Scott appeared, there was no denying the flush that crept over Holly’s entire body from head to toe. Massively handsome, as always, his brilliant dark eyes fell on her, and tiny red fires of rage sparked in those eyes. He shot an accusing glare at Neil, then turned around and left the room.

  Officer Perryman was the first to speak in the startled silence. “What was that about? Granted, I found the Colonel quite moody on the journey over here. But what he did just now was downright rude.”

  The others exchanged murmurs of agreement, as Holly leaned toward Neil to ask, “How do I find his cabin?”

  He hedged, “Holly, I don’t think—”

  “I’m not asking for your thoughts, just some help,” she snapped, standing so quickly that her chair clattered. Embarrassed, sorry she’d snapped at Neil, she apologized to the captain and the other men.

  Neil sighed. Maybe it was best she and Scott fight it out. “He’s on the same deck you are. First door on the right.”

  She hurried from the room and, reaching Scott’s door, pounded on it.

  “I don’t want to see anybody,” was Scott’s roaring response.

  That only infuriated her further. Using both fists, finally giving in to utter frustration, she began kicking the door as well. She was not going to put up with this any longer.

  The door jerked open and Holly fell forward into his arms. Shaking with a deeper rage than any she’d known before, she faced him, then slammed the door shut.

  Hands on hips, she began, “You pompous, arrogant, bastard! Just who the hell do you think you are? You think I deceived you? I will remind you, I am not the one who walked away from Vicksburg without a word.

  “Tell me,” she shrilled, long hair bouncing around her face as she tossed her head, “who was bedding Lisa Lou Pollock all the time he was fawning after me? Begging me to forgive you for tricking me into thinking you fought for the South, while all the while you were a no-good, yellow-bellied, goddamn Yankee dog!”

  His eyes went darker and darker with fury. “Holly, I’m warning you to get out of here.”

  “I’ll leave when I’m through telling you what kind of man you are. Man!” She spat the word contemptuously. “You’re nothing but a sneak. A liar.

  “Yes,” she rushed on. “I married Ro
ger Bonham, and many a night he made me wish I was dead. But I had no choice, you bastard. My mother is dying. He was going to kick us out of the house, maybe put her in an institution, let her die there.” Tears began streaming down her face, and she brushed them away furiously. Damn it, tears were a sign of weakness. “I never,” she said evenly, “stopped loving you, Scott Colter, until you turned your back on me and I found out just what an egotistical, insensitive monster you really are.” She turned toward the door. “I’ll go now. I pray I never have to look at your arrogant face again.”

  He caught her, pinning her arms to her sides. Smiling, he whispered, “If I had a bar of lye soap, I’d wash your mouth out.”

  He threw her on the bunk and fell on top of her. “I’m sorry, Holly. I truly am. I guess a lot of the things you said about me are true, but…there’s much you don’t know.” He took a long breath. “Right now, we both need…” He kissed her and the fire was ignited. The flames spread, and neither could stop those flames. She pulled him close, closer.

  The ship rolled and pitched, gently moving Scott and Holly into their union, rocking them as they moved together into the love that could not, would not, be denied.

  Chapter Twenty-Seven

  A perfect golden moon, framed by silver clouds, threw its light across the water, making the sea sparkle as though dusted with diamonds.

  A gentle wind caressing them, Scott and Holly stood at the railing. His arm was around her, and she pressed her head against his chest. “Are you happy?” he whispered.

  “I never knew I could be so happy,” she whispered back, “never dreamed I could feel this way.”

  The rolling sea lulled her, and she sighed, “If only Mother could get well, everything would be perfect. I’m afraid she’s getting weaker. She never says a word, but I know she’s more tired than she was a week or so ago. She even seems to be swelling, despite being so thin.”

  Scott tightened his arm around her. “I don’t know anything about Bright’s disease, but from what you told me, I’m afraid you can’t expect anything different.”

  Her entire body began shuddering, and she said, “I want her at home, Scott. She shouldn’t be anyplace except home. Will it be much longer?”

  “Two days,” he said, “maybe three.”

  She pressed closer, enveloped by his warm glow.

  Their first night together, they’d stayed awake talking until dawn. Holly explained how Roger had managed to enslave her, vulnerable as she was. She had not, however, confided the depth of degradation and misery suffered in his bed, for these nightmares would never be trespassed on, even by her.

  When it was his turn, Scott confided everything about himself and his secret army mission. She was horrified. “Why didn’t you tell me before? You knew why those men were trying to run me off my land. Why, Roger even had me believe it was poor Jarvis! He told me Jarvis was responsible for Sally and Norman’s murders.” She stared at him, wide eyes glimmering. “How could you have kept that from me?”

  “Because you were in enough danger without having that knowledge. I couldn’t risk either the investigation or you.”

  He went on to confide that, when they arrived in Vicksburg, he and Neil were going to have a few trusted soldiers with them and be ready when Roger returned, which he would eventually do.

  On another subject, he stated, “I’m not going to apologize for anything between me and Lisa Lou, but you may be sure there wasn’t any rape. I don’t deny I have a past. Yes, there have been other women—and none of them had anything to do with you.”

  Yes, Holly told herself silently, gazing out at the sea, other women had loved him, answered the hunger in his body. But that was the past. It was today and tomorrow that mattered, and she wanted to be the only woman he wanted.

  He brought her out of her reverie with a kiss. “I don’t have to ask. I know what you’re thinking. I can feel your jealousy.” He smiled. “Come on. I am going to prove to you once and for all that I will never need any woman but you.”

  He took her to his cabin, closed the door, and locked out the world.

  She was wearing a simple, pale green muslin dress, the collar reaching nearly to her chin. He lowered his head, and, as his fingers deftly unfastened each tiny button, his mouth and tongue touched her throat, setting her on fire.

  She closed her eyes, yielding to his every caress, and when she was naked, he carried her to the bunk and quickly removed his own clothing.

  She watched him, marveling once again at the perfection of his body—the broad chest, wide, muscular shoulders, long, strong legs.

  Her gaze went to his rock-hard thighs, then, slowly, to his swollen, eager manhood, the epitome of his perfection.

  She held out her arms to him eagerly, but he shook his head. “No,” he whispered huskily. “You give me so much of everything, my darling. Tonight, I intend to give to you.”

  He spread her thighs and lowered his head. At the first thrust of his tongue, she gasped, “Scott, no, please.”

  “Yes,” he said fiercely. “Yes. Tonight you are mine, to love any way I want to, and this is how I want to love you. I want to taste the sweetness of your body, kiss every inch of you, drink the nectar of your love. Relax, little one, and take everything I have to give.”

  She felt the pulsation begin deep within, and then it was rushing forth, exploding in a sensation never felt so intensely. Her fingers wrapped in his thick black hair as he devoured her, her back arched with the spine-wrenching force of orgasm. But he mercilessly continued his onslaught, savoring her as though she were a delicious fruit, consuming her again and again.

  “No, no, I can’t take any more, Scott, please.”

  He ignored her protests, taking her to the ultimate crest again and again, and still he did not relent. His driving hunger was to satisfy her totally.

  Holly was utterly spent, unable even to raise her head from the pillow. Finally, she mustered her strength and raised herself, pushing him from her. She lowered herself to him and took him with her warm mouth, driving him to his own frenzy, till he had no choice but to mount her and drive them both to the summit.

  Afterward, he held her against him fiercely.

  “Now do you understand?” His voice seemed to light up the dark cabin. “There’s nothing left for me to give another woman. You are all I want, and I love you.”

  When Holly entered her mother’s cabin, she frowned at the breakfast tray. “How can you expect not to feel weak when you won’t eat, Mother? I asked the galley to prepare your eggs just the way you like them, but you’ve hardly eaten a bite.”

  Claudia shrugged, teasing, “Look at you. You’re positively glowing, Holly. Has someone captured your heart at last? I do wonder who that someone is.” She touched a finger to her cheek and pretended to be deep in thought.

  Holly blushed hotly. Did it show that she had spent the night in passion? Oh, lord, she hoped not. This was her mother. Averting her gaze, she declared, “You do have an imagination, I must say. I like fresh air, occasionally, so I left my cabin and—”

  “Don’t.”

  Holly glanced at her. “Don’t?”

  “Don’t be coy with me, Holly. I know you better than you think. Why won’t you tell me about Colonel Colter and your love?”

  Suddenly Holly was wrenched by the need to tell her. “Yes,” she cried. “Yes, Mother, I do love him—and he loves me. I didn’t know I could be so happy. And it’s not wrong, even if I am legally married to Roger. I never loved him. I—”

  “You don’t have to justify yourself to me,” Claudia laughed, propping herself up on her pillows, happiness renewing her vigor. “I think I’ve always known there was something between you two, but I couldn’t quite decide whether it was love, or hate. There’s a very thin wall between the two, you know.”

  Holly nodded. “I think I always knew I loved him, but I was too stubborn to admit it. Besides, there were a lot of terrible things going on in my life then, and there was never time to smooth things out
.”

  Claudia hated having to point it out, but she had to. “Roger may not agree to a divorce. And he’s going to be furious about your running away.”

  Stressing the need for absolute secrecy, Holly told Claudia about Scott’s investigation, and her mother listened, wide-eyed. Finally she cried, “It all makes sense now! What Jarvis was telling me falls into place. Roger had the gold hidden, and maybe even spent some by then. He knew he was wealthy, so he didn’t need Jarvis’s money. That’s why he became more and more belligerent. Dear God”—she closed her eyes—“I’m thankful Jarvis didn’t live to find out what his son really is.”

  Holly nodded absently. Poor Jarvis. He’d been mistreated by his son and misunderstood by her. She was sorry there was nothing she could do about it now. She couldn’t even apologize to him.

  They talked for a few minutes more, then Holly rose. “Let me go down to the galley and get a cup of hot tea for you, Mother. Will you drink it?”

  Claudia nodded. She didn’t want the tea, knew she couldn’t eat anything, but, for Holly’s sake, she would try.

  When the door closed behind Holly, Claudia squeezed her eyes shut, feeling the tears sting. Oh, did they all think she was terribly stupid? Did they think she didn’t know there was something invading her body, something that was making her weaker every day? And she could see the swelling, feel it. Yet they meant to keep it from her.

  She was dying.

  So, soon she would be going to a far better place. After all, she had loved two wonderful men and been loved in return. She had a beautiful, adoring daughter. Life had been good. With all the sadness, the heartaches, life had been good.

  But she did not want the time to come just yet, no. She would know when the time was right…was not about to give in until then. Until that time there was something she had to do. What? Why did she have the certain feeling that she was being kept on the earth for a purpose?