What Matters Most

by Beers, Georgia

  What if she stops?

  It was a question Kelsey asked herself often. It was the question. Because Theresa was bound to give up at some point. And Kelsey honestly didn’t know if she’d be relieved or crushed when that happened.

  Chris, thankfully, left it alone and they drove in silence for a little while before Kelsey slickly (she hoped) changed the subject to something cheerful.

  “I can’t believe you’re moving here.” This time, her smile was genuine, as it was going to be such a relief to have some family nearby. Kelsey hadn’t expected to miss hers as much as she did. Even her father.

  “I can’t either,” Chris said. “But I’m really excited. I think this is going to be great. I already know more people here than I do in Boston, and I’ve been there for a while.”

  “Well, hopefully this new company won’t work you a million hours a week and you’ll actually have time for a social life.”

  “A what? I’m not familiar with that term.”

  Kelsey chuckled. “Speaking of that unfamiliar term, how’s Hannah with all of this?”

  “All of what? My moving here?”

  “Your moving here and taking it slowly with her, yes. I was surprised you didn’t have her come with us to look at apartments.”

  Chris pressed her lips together in a straight line and seemed to ponder things for a bit before answering. “She’s doing okay, I think. I mean...I really like her, you know?” Chris’s eyes were soft as she glanced in Kelsey’s direction. “I want to give it a chance and not just jump in headfirst.”

  “I think that’s smart,” Kelsey said, and it was true. She hadn’t spoken to Hannah much since Chris left, and things with Theresa had fallen apart. They’d texted here and there. They’d grabbed a drink or two. But for every text of Kelsey’s Hannah answered, three others went un-responded to. So Kelsey attended the first softball game of the fall league, but hadn’t been to the second or third. Things with Hannah weren’t quite the same and Kelsey was sad about that, knew that it was her doing, inadvertent or not.

  “That being said,” Chris told her, “we’ve been invited to dinner at her house tonight.”

  “At Hannah’s?” Kelsey couldn’t hide her surprise.

  “Yep.”

  “Both of us?”

  “Mm-hmm.”

  “Wait.” Kelsey glanced at Chris. “She invited both of us or she invited you and you invited me?”

  Chris’s eyebrows rose as her expression conveyed innocence. “She invited both of us.” She held up a hand. “Scout’s honor. Her mom is cooking and told Hannah to have us over.”

  Kelsey thought back to Hannah’s mom, how nice she was at the barbecue, how friendly and inviting. “Okay. I’m up for it.”

  “Good.” Chris finally put her shoe back on as Kelsey pulled into the parking lot of a large apartment complex. “Last one?”

  “Last one,” Kelsey said with a nod, then pulled her door open.

  ***

  The second Kelsey had entered Hannah’s house, she felt at home, because that’s exactly what it smelled like: home. A warm, savory dinner was cooking. Some kind of candle or incense with a hint of cinnamon was burning. And despite it being early fall and still mild-ish weather, Kelsey felt as if it was winter and she’d walked directly into a warm, cozy hug after being out in the cold.

  By the time Kelsey had finished her last bite of meatloaf an hour later and had barely three bites of mashed potatoes left on her plate, she was ridiculously glad she’d come. Such a classic, home-cooked meal filled her heart and made her feel less homesick than she’d been in a while. And Liz Keene was so charmingly sweet that Kelsey was pretty sure she’d developed a little crush on Hannah’s mom.

  “There’s more, girls” Liz said, looking from Kelsey to Chris to Hannah and back as she refilled Kelsey’s wine glass with a delicious red blend.

  “If I eat one more bite, I will explode all over your lovely kitchen,” Chris answered. “I haven’t been this full since I moved out of my mother’s house. Thank you so much.”

  “Same here,” Kelsey said. “That was delicious. I haven’t had meatloaf as good as my mom’s, like...ever.” With a grin, she added, “Let’s keep that between us, shall we?”

  Liz’s laugh was soft and feminine, a musical tinkle of sorts. “It’ll be our little secret.” She finished refilling glasses, then sat back down. “I’m sorry Hannah’s father couldn’t join us. He’s in the city for a business dinner.”

  Kelsey was sorry, too. The idea of getting to know the man responsible for half of Theresa’s genes appealed to her.

  “Chris, have you found a place yet?” Liz’s question pulled Kelsey back to the table.

  “We’ve narrowed it down to three,” Chris nodded, then sipped her wine.

  “How many did you look at?” Hannah asked.

  “Nine hundred and thirty,” Kelsey said, garnering laughter around the table. “Sure felt like it.”

  “It did,” Chris agreed.

  “Did you ask Theresa for help?” Liz’s voice was innocent, but something in her eyes—a twinkling, a sparkle of mischief, something—told Kelsey that was an illusion.

  “Why would they ask Theresa for help?” Hannah asked, eyes on her plate as she scooped up some potatoes.

  Liz looked at her with that subtle sternness a mother has the ability to convey using only her eyes. “Because she’s in real estate and she’s your sister and she’s friends with Kelsey.” There was just enough of a pause before the word “friends” to let Kelsey know Liz knew full well they were—or had been—more than that.

  “Mom, please.” Hannah rolled her eyes. “You know she’s tearing down Kelsey’s building. That she’s got to close her store because of it. I don’t think Theresa’s high on her list right now.” She turned to Kelsey, obviously looking for solidarity. “Right, Kels?”

  Kelsey blinked at her, the proverbial deer caught in the headlights. She glanced at Liz, who chewed her dinner and waited for Kelsey to answer, her expression impossible to read. “I...” She thought of all the texts, calls, e-mails that she’d left unanswered, and suddenly felt deeply ashamed.

  “Theresa was just doing her job,” Liz said simply, then picked up her wine glass. “It’s not like she chose the building or put it up for sale or decided to tear it down. Kelsey knows that. Right?” Her eyes were less gentle now as they clicked to Kelsey’s and stayed there. Her demeanor wasn’t mean. It wasn’t angry. It was...firm? That was the only word Kelsey could think of as a description, but she knew without a shadow of a doubt that Liz knew exactly what was going on. Kelsey felt a sadness well up inside at the fact that she hadn’t realized Theresa and her stepmom were close enough to talk about such personal things.

  Kelsey cleared her throat. “Right,” she answered, but it still sounded like she’d swallowed a frog.

  Liz nodded as if Kelsey had answered a quiz question correctly. “She felt terrible about it. So terrible that she gave up the account altogether. You guys know that, right?”

  Forks that had been moving stopped. Any sounds of utensils against dishes ceased. Kelsey stared at the one small bite of mashed potatoes on her plate and couldn’t tear her eyes away, even as she felt Chris’s on her. A few seconds went by, then a few more, and when Kelsey finally looked up, Liz was continuing to eat her dinner as if she hadn’t just dropped a live grenade in the middle of the table.

  Hannah also looked a bit like Kelsey felt at the moment—shocked, embarrassed, selfish—and she wondered if her own expression mirrored Hannah’s.

  Kelsey swallowed audibly before saying, “No. No, I didn’t know that.”

  “No? Huh.” Liz continued to eat, sipped her wine, her face friendly and open.

  “Me neither,” Hannah said quietly as she set her fork down.

  “Well,” Liz said, dabbed the corner of her mouth with a napkin and shrugged. “It’s not like she’d announce something like that. She’s pretty private about some things. But she felt terrible and went right in to he
r boss’s office to tell him so. Then she asked to be removed from the account altogether. She was the senior account executive, so her boss wasn’t happy with her. It’ll probably be a while before she gets a project that big again.” Liz made a sympathetic face.

  Kelsey thought back to the texts and e-mails and messages. They were all apologies. They all begged Kelsey to talk to her. Not one of them said she’d given up the account.

  “Who’s ready for dessert?” The sound of Liz pushing her chair back on the linoleum floor jerked Kelsey back to the present. Without waiting for a response, Liz took four small plates down from a cupboard and pulled what looked to be a chocolate cheesecake out of the refrigerator. In a few minutes, they each had a generous slice in front of them. Chris dug in. Hannah hesitated a moment before forking off a bite.

  Kelsey simply stared at hers.

  “This is delicious, Mrs. Keene,” Chris said after a quick glance Kelsey’s way. “Thank you so much for having us.”

  Liz chuckled. “Please. Mrs. Keene is my mother-in-law. Call me Liz. And I’m very happy you came. I always enjoy getting to know Hannah’s friends.”

  Hannah snorted. “She used to pop into my room whenever I had friends over.” She grinned at her mother “All. The. Time.”

  “I was just saying hello. Being friendly.” Liz took a bite of her dessert, a twinkle in her green eyes that were so much like Hannah’s.

  “You were spying,” Hannah said, pointing her fork.

  “That, too.”

  Laughter went around the table and lightened the mood considerably, and for that, Kelsey was grateful. She had to figure out what to do about Theresa. If anything. There was so much to think about, so much to analyze, but...she just couldn’t right now. Forcing herself to shake it all away, at least for the moment, she shoveled a large bite of cheesecake into her mouth and did her best to tune into the current conversation.

  She wondered what Theresa was doing right now.

  CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

  THE RIDE HOME WAS quiet.

  They’d stayed another hour after Liz Keene had pried open the Theresa situation and poked at Kelsey’s handling of it all. There had been coffee and more cheesecake (for Chris and Hannah) and continued laughter and conversation. But all the while, Kelsey felt herself sitting slightly removed from it all, replaying her last words with Theresa, the barbs, the hurt and anger. From both sides.

  “Was I too hard on her?” she asked from the driver’s seat.

  “God, finally,” Chris said. “I’ve been waiting forever for you to say something.”

  Kelsey smiled tenderly and glanced at her cousin. “I’m surprised you didn’t start interrogating me the second the car doors closed.”

  Uncharacteristically serious, Chris said, “No, I was waiting until you were ready to talk about it.”

  Kelsey waited for a couple of silent beats while they sat at a red light. “Do you think she planned that? Liz?”

  Chris wet her lips, shrugged. “I don’t know. Maybe. Did you know she was close with Theresa? Seems like they’re pretty tight.”

  Kelsey shook her head. “I didn’t. I mean, I knew they got along well, but it never occurred to me that they’d share personal stuff. I don’t know why. Did you know?”

  “Hannah’s never said anything, but I get the impression she doesn’t talk about her sister much.”

  “Half-sister,” Kelsey corrected with an eyebrow arch.

  “Right, right, right.”

  “Was I too hard on her? Theresa?” Kelsey was back to the question that had been bugging her since Liz first brought up her name at the dinner table. “That’s kind of the impression I was getting from Liz.”

  “What do you think?”

  Kelsey took a moment to ponder the question, then answered as honestly as she could. “I think I was angry.”

  “Righteously so,” Chris agreed with a nod.

  Kelsey waited for the anger to begin a new simmer, but it didn’t. “I mean, it would’ve been nice to get a heads-up, you know?”

  Chris didn’t exactly nod. She sort of tipped her head one way then the other, like she wasn’t sure.

  “What? What does that mean?” Kelsey asked.

  Chris inhaled slowly and seemed to measure her words. “I was just wondering how far in advance Theresa knew. Knew your store was part of this project.” She looked at Kelsey. Kelsey could feel the weight of her gaze, but kept her eyes on the road. “You say a heads-up would’ve been nice, but...maybe she really didn’t know ahead of time. That’s what she told you, right?”

  “That’s what she told me.” Kelsey’s voice was soft, filled with a trepidation that scared her because...what if that really was the case? Then a memory hit and forced some of that trepidation back into a corner. “But she disappeared then. She didn’t call me. She didn’t text or answer my texts. She blew off dinner.”

  Chris nodded. “Yeah, that wasn’t cool.”

  “It wasn’t.”

  “Except she did tell you she may not be able to make it because of work. So not exactly a textbook definition blow-off.”

  A moment of silence passed.

  Another.

  Kelsey pulled into her parking lot and they went into her apartment. Once inside, Chris collapsed on the couch while Kelsey leafed through the mail without actually looking at it.

  “You like this girl,” Chris said, not a question, her voice sounding startlingly loud in the quiet of the apartment. “She’s got a hold on you. Even after everything that’s happened, you haven’t let her go yet.”

  “I did like her. I liked her very much.”

  “You still do. I can see it on your face. I could see it during my last visit and I can see it now.” Chris looked at her, and her eyes told Kelsey not to bother arguing. Instead, she gave a reluctant nod. “She apologized?”

  “She did.”

  “By text?”

  “And e-mail. And she left a couple messages.”

  Chris nodded slowly. “And you haven’t responded.” Her voice had grown firm and this wasn’t a question.

  “No.”

  Chris held her gaze for what felt like a long time before saying, “Man, you’re hard, Kels.”

  Kelsey wasn’t sure she’d heard right.

  She blinked at her cousin in shock. “I’m sorry?”

  “What else could she have done?” When Kelsey didn’t respond, Chris went on, her voice moving from firm to quietly stony. “She told you she didn’t know ahead of time it was your store. She’s apologized up and down for...how long now?”

  Kelsey swallowed. “Two weeks,” she said, barely above a whisper.

  “Two weeks. Two weeks with nothing from you, and still she keeps trying. That’s a long damn time to eat shit, you know?”

  Kelsey looked down at her feet as her eyes welled with tears.

  Chris stared at her for a moment, then said, “You know, I like Hannah. I like her a lot. I’d like to wing it with her, see what happens. But I know for a fact that when I talk about her, my face doesn’t look like yours does when you talk about Theresa. Even while you’re furious at her, you still have that gentle tone, that soft look in your eyes, that tenderness for her. Most people don’t have that with somebody. And most people wish they did. And you were well on your way, my friend, to something amazing, and you just...” Chris shook her head. “I love you, Kelsey, I do. But I’m sorry, you really screwed this one up.” Silence sat in the middle of the room like some large boulder. Kelsey didn’t know what to say. Chris didn’t look at her. Instead, she pushed herself to her feet. “I’m gonna take a shower.” She left the room without so much as a backward glance at Kelsey, who remained standing all alone in the living room. For the first time she could remember in life, her cousin was disgusted with her.

  That reality sat like a lump of clay in the pit of her stomach.

  You really screwed this one up.

  The worst part, believe it or not, wasn’t that she was hurt by what Chris had said.


  It was that she was worried Chris was right.

  There was very little conversation for the rest of the night. Chris opened the bathroom door after her shower and the scent of the Pumpkin Spice Cookie body wash Kelsey kept in the shower wafted out with the leftover steam. It was a lovely smell, all warm and autumn-like and inviting, but it did nothing to make Kelsey feel any better. She was too busy mentally beating the crap out of herself.

  She headed into the bathroom to wash her face and brush her teeth. She toyed with the idea of soaking in a warm bath, but was worried that would give her too much time to think and it was pretty clear she didn’t need any more of that. Besides, it was nearly eleven on Friday night and she had to be to the shop early tomorrow to help with the Going Out of Business Sale.

  The thought broke her heart a little bit.

  Of course, sleep eluded her. Long after she could hear Chris’s soft snores coming from the couch, Kelsey lay wide awake, her brain spinning like an overloaded washing machine, unbalanced, knocking loudly, and in danger of flinging everything all over the place.

  How had she ended up here? In less than six months, she’d gone from leaving everything familiar to becoming a successful small business owner to racking up some amazing new friends to meeting somebody who might actually matter…to all of it completely dissolving around her like a sandcastle in the rain.

  How did I end up here?

  Tears filled her eyes as Theresa’s face filled her mind, doing nothing to alleviate the stress, worry, and self-flagellation she’d been drowning in for—she glanced at the clock that might as well have laughed at her as it reported it to be closing in on three o’clock—more than four hours now. For the first time, she let herself think about what it must have been like to send endless texts, messages, e-mails asking for forgiveness, only to be met with nothing but utter silence. How much that must have hurt.

  Kelsey tried to put herself in Theresa’s shoes.

  She didn’t like it there.