by Britney King
He raised his brow. “Something like that.”
The knock grew louder. Then the door swung open, and with it, an audible gasp filled the room.
“Oh,” Elise hissed as she looked from Jack to Amelie and back at him again. “Sorry to interrupt but we have guests waiting, Jack,” she said, her words clipped, her voice lingering on his name.
“Elise, this is Amelie. Amelie, Elise.”
Amelie nodded and knew that any sort of response she might offer wouldn’t be well received. She understood that there was nothing to say in this situation, and so it was best not to say anything at all.
“Jack,” Elise urged. He looked at Amelie and smiled. “Thank you, kid.”
She returned his smile and watched as Jack walked to his bride, kissed her on the cheek, took her by the hand, and lead her out of that tiny tension filled room and down the aisle.
TWENTY-ONE
Summer 2012
Jack sat on the edge of his dock letting his feet dangle over into the water and watched the early morning sun reflect off the lake. This particular morning he did as he often did—just as his mother had suggested. He thought back on his wedding day. As of late, whenever he thought back to that day, there’d been too many times where he considered what might have happened if he had done things differently that day—specifically, if things hadn’t happened in the sequence they had. But it was a dangerous game to play, he realized.
The wedding itself had been gorgeous, his bride stunning. No matter what happened, Jack would always look back on that day fondly. But at the same time, it would still also forever be a tad bittersweet. To his amazement, Amelie stayed true to her word and flew to Hawaii to attend the wedding, which even now made him question whether she had ever really loved him as he loved her. One thing was certain, though. Jack knew that if the tables had been turned that he would not have been able or the least bit willing to do what she did.
But where the wedding itself had been almost perfection, the honeymoon had been a complete and utter disaster. He thought back to his wedding night, and how while tucked away in their honeymoon suite, everything suddenly changed. He remembered how his world fell apart that night as the weight of what he’d done began to sink in. Jack tossed his fishing line into the water, reeled it in, and then cast his line again. He pictured Elise’s face as he recalled the way he’d wrapped his arms around his new bride, how he’d slowly unbuttoned her wedding gown and carefully slipped her out of it. He recalled how excited he was to start their life together, how proud that the woman standing before him was going to be the mother of his children. He traced his fingers across her collarbone, and then motioned at the brand new wedding lingerie she was wearing. “Wow,” he’d said.
Jack watched her eyes and noticed there was a look within them—the expression that she held, which in hindsight should have been his first clue on how things were about to unfold. “Not bad, Mrs. Harrison,” he’d remarked as she wrapped her arms around his neck, leaned in close to his ear, and whispered, “Tell me, Jack… do you wish I were her?”
Jack pulled away. “Jesus! What are you talking about?”
“I think you know exactly what… if not who I’m talking about.”
“Elise, don’t do this. Come on. This is our wedding night…”
“And?” she said as she crossed the room.
“And… I was hoping to make love, not war.”
She shook her head. “We’re not making love.”
“Seriously? You are not doing this now. Please tell me we’re not going through this tonight. And the answer is no, Elise. I do not wish that you were her or anyone else.
“That’s bullshit. I saw the way you looked at her!”
Jack grabbed her then and pulled her close. He kissed her neck letting his hands trail down her stomach, which only seemed to intensify her fury.
“I said that we are not having sex. Damn it!” she screamed before crumbling to the floor. Jack stood in awe of how things had turned so suddenly wrong as he watched her become a sobbing heap on the floor, gasping between breaths. He knelt down in front of her. “Elise, honey, I’m sorry. But I swear. I’m telling you the truth.”
“You want the truth, Jack?” she finally asked, once she’d managed to pull herself together a little.
He eyed her suspiciously and handed her a tissue.
“The truth is that we can’t have sex because I’m bleeding. I lost the baby...”
Jack inhaled and paced the floor in front of them. “What?” He ran his fingers through his hair. “When?”
“Last week,” she replied, her expression blank.
“Are you sure? Because I read that sometimes bleeding is normal in early pregnancy.”
“Where? Where did you read that?”
Jack cocked his head to the side as a confused expression played across his face. “In the baby books I bought.”
“Oh, Jack. How very typical of you. That’s sweet. It really is… but yes, I’m sure. The doctor confirmed it.”
He felt the color drain from his face. “Well, why didn’t you tell me, then?”
“Oh… I don’t know. Probably for the same reason that you didn’t tell me about your little trip to Iceland. Or that your friend was coincidentally there at the same time. Do you think I’m stupid, Jack? All it takes is a tiny bit of research. And you really don’t cover your tracks very well, love.”
Jack sighed and sat down on the bed. He said nothing, which was his normal M.O. in times of trouble.
Elise crawled over to where he was sitting. “Look, Jacky…”
“Don’t call me that. Don’t you ever call me that!” he spat.
“Ok, JACK… You’re right. Let’s not do this tonight. I think it’s best that we put this all behind us. I didn’t want to ruin our wedding, so I didn’t say anything before. Same as you, really. The doc says we can try again… that there was no reason for it… he said sometimes these things just happen.”
“Is that why you threw the twenty-five percent shareholder bit in my face when I returned? Because you knew?”
“Oh, Jack. Don’t be so dramatic. I wasn’t exactly lying, was I?”
“Well, it sure makes a hell of a lot more sense now.”
“Jack. Stop it. I thought you said we were going to put this all behind us.”
“No. Actually, I didn’t say that. I wouldn’t even know where to start,” he scoffed.
“Well, how about this? You lied. And I didn’t exactly tell you the whole truth either… but what’s done is done. It’s time to think about our future now and let the past stay where it belongs, which is in the past. I promise to tell the whole truth from now on—so long as you promise to never see that girl again.”
Had Jack heeded his mother’s advice and taken his marriage day by day, he would’ve seen this for what it was. Instead, he’d been too busy thinking about what had taken place, and what it meant for his future. Unfortunately for Jack, like most people, he was too involved with his past and too concerned about his future to see what was happening right in front of him. If he had been paying attention to the present moment, he would’ve clearly seen that his marriage had been obtained under false pretenses and that by not consummating it, he could have quite easily obtained an annulment.
Jack dropped his towel and dove into the infinity edge pool as he did every evening at this time, rain or shine. He swam lap after lap until he was spent—until even one more lap became impossible. It helped clear his mind, he told himself. On this particular day, his mind drifted back to his wedding day and how he now realized that he was nothing more than just a stand in. It could’ve been any groom up there at the altar that day, and it probably wouldn’t have made any difference, he thought to himself. But that’s not to say that he didn’t try. By god, he had tried. What most people didn’t realize about Jack was that while he was a relentless businessman, he could also be forgiving—albeit he never forgot. That is exactly what he did when Elise confessed that she’d known about
both the miscarriage and his trip with Amelie prior to their wedding. He forgave her. If he remembered correctly, “Let’s just call it even” had been the exact words he’d used.
For the next five years, he’d tried so hard to make the marriage work. Jack didn’t consider himself to be a quitter, so how it was that he found himself banned from his own home—banished to the lake house, and going on day forty-eight of this—he had no idea. Elise had thrown him out—or more accurately, pushed him out—and for the first time in a long time, Jack found himself without answers as to what to do about it. He didn’t want to give up. He wanted to work at it. But working on a marriage takes two, and so far, he was minus one in that department. It baffled him. He’d given her everything she had ever wanted. With the exception of the one thing that obviously mattered most, and that happened to be one that even he couldn’t fix—carrying a pregnancy to term.
Exhausted, Jack climbed out of the pool, toweled off, and picked up his cell. For the ninth time that day, he dialed Elise. This time was no different—his call went straight to voicemail. He set the phone down and sank back in the lawn chair. As he watched the setting sun sink further and further into the sky, he did his best to recall their last conversation word for word. He racked his brain trying to figure out what he might be missing—what it was that could have been so different from any other time that would make her act this way.
“We should just call this what it is,” Elise said. She was sitting on their sofa resting her face in her hands. “It’ll never happen, Jack. Don’t you see? It isn’t happening. It just isn’t meant to be!”
“It’s ok, sweetheart. We’ll just do what the doc suggests and hire a surrogate,” Jack said, as he leaned into her and rubbed her back in circles.
“No. I’ve already told you! How many times have I told you this? I do not want to watch another woman carry my child and know everything I’m missing. I just won’t do it!”
Jack exhaled. “Ok, then. We’ll just revisit adoption. I’ll put a call into the attorney tomorrow.”
She looked at him, disgusted. “I don’t want someone else’s child! I want our child.”
Jack stood and paced their sparsely decorated living room. He couldn’t for the life of him find anything in that room that reflected his taste. “Look, Elise, I know you’re upset right now. I’m upset, too. But this is the eighth time now. And at some point, we have to start considering your health and the risks associated with recurrent miscarriages. I think it’s time that we come to terms with the fact that we may be forced to pursue other options.”
She glared at him, her mouth hanging open. “Upset? You think I’m upset? I’m devastated, Jack. Devastated! Do you have any idea what it feels like to have your body betray you like this? No. You don’t. You don’t have a fucking clue what it’s like. You’re little contribution to this whole mess just happens to be the fun part, doesn’t it?”
“Elise. Please. I know what it’s like to watch someone I love suffer. And I just don’t want to do it anymore. We agreed the last time that we would try just once more. It’s too risky. Even the doctors say so. I’m not just going to stand by and watch this happen again.”
“Then what are you going to do, Jack?”
“Well, as I said… I was hoping that we could come to an agreement on our other options.”
“As far as I’m concerned, there are no other options, Jack.”
Jack stopped pacing and met her gaze head on. “Sure there are. You just need time. This is a lot to handle all at once.”
“No. I don’t think you understand. I’m finished. With the whole baby thing. With this marriage…”
“I know you’re devastated Elise but please don’t say things you don’t mean.”
“But I do. Mean them. This is your chance, Jack. Run! Go be with her. It’s what you’ve wanted all along, isn’t it?’
He walked toward the front door. “I’m not doing this again, Elise.”
“I’m not either. I’m done, Jack. You must think I’m an idiot. A fool! You think I haven’t seen her photographs hanging on the wall in your office. You think I don’t notice whenever a new one appears. Well, I’m not stupid, Jack! I know you’re still in contact with her.”
“We’ve been over and over this, Elise. And I’ve told you again and again I haven’t spoken to her since the wedding.”
“Do you know why I didn’t tell you I’d lost the baby before the wedding? Because I knew. I knew that I’d lose you, and well, you know me… I like to win at all costs. It’s why we’ve always been so good together. But the joke was on me with that one. I didn’t win, Jack. Not really, anyway. Winning isn’t winning when you realize you’ve already lost. Do you know what it’s like to wake up next to your husband every day and know that he’s in love with someone else? Do you have any idea how that feels? You’ve never been that good a liar, Jack. Tell me you don’t still love her. I want to hear you say it.”
“I love you.”
“Wrong answer. Get out! Get out now! Just go!” She shoved at his chest hard. Jack relented. She just needed some time to cool down and process everything, he assured himself. “Fine. I’ll be at the lake house if you need me. I’ll head back tomorrow afternoon.”
“Don’t bother,” she said, slamming the door in his face.
The next morning, Jack was awakened to someone buzzing from the front gate asking to be let onto the property. It was a moving van, and it just so happened to be full of his stuff. Jack drove home the following day only to find that all of the locks had been changed. She just needed time, he told himself. She just needed time. He’d worked too hard and given up too much for this to be the end of it.
Three days later, a courier arrived with divorce papers, and Jack realized that no amount of time was going to change her mind. The following day, Jack met with his attorney in his office. Jack sat at his desk opposite the grey-haired man who rattled off facts, which Jack didn’t hear. He was too focused on one of the photographs that hung on his wall. He looked from picture to picture before settling on one. It was sunrise in New Orleans. He hadn’t remembered her taking that particular shot. He couldn’t recall whether he’d been there or not when she did.
The attorney cleared his throat. “Beautiful photos you have here. Before we leave, remind me to get the artist’s name. I’d like to purchase one like that for my wife,” he said pointing to a shot of the beach that Jack knew had been taken in Hawaii.
“Will do.” Jack nodded and focused his attention back on the man.
“So I assume the first question you have is how much the dissolution of your marriage is going to cost you. Thankfully for you, the prenup we had drawn up beforehand is pretty iron clad.”
Jack tilted his head. “Actually, no. I wasn’t thinking that.”
The man took his glasses off and used his tie to wipe the lenses down. He readjusted them on his face and looked at Jack. “All right. Well…”
Jack glanced at a photograph of vibrant wildflowers and imagined how they must smell. That picture was taken in Florence, he wanted to mention. Instead, he looked at the paperwork in front of him. “I want to give her everything she’s asking for.”
The man frowned briefly before his expression turned to concern. “Are you sure? According to your prenuptial agreement, you don’t owe her near what she’s asking for...”
Jack waved the man off, interrupting him mid-sentence. “It was all for her, anyway.”
“And your business? Do want to give her the additional ten percent she’s asking for.”
“Yes.”
“Mr. Harrison, as your attorney, I highly advise that you give this some more thought. There is no logical reason for you to give your estranged wife a penny more than what’s listed in that agreement There were no children produced during the marriage, so I mean it when I say there’s absolutely no reason for you to agree to any of her requests.”
“You’re right, there isn’t.”
The man stood. “So you’ll
give my advice some thought, then.”
Jack pursed his lips. “No. I intend to sign today. I want to get this over with. There’s no reason to drag it out. You see, David… May I call you David?” he asked pausing but not long enough to allow the man to answer. “I realize that what’s in those papers means nothing to me. I’ve worked my whole adult life building all of this.” He motioned around the room. “I’ve made many people very rich, and in the process, I’ve done quite well for myself. But you know what? Very few of those people are truly happy. All they care about is the bottom line. All they want is to obtain more, more, more. I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately. About what it is that I want, about what makes me happy. And there are only a few things on that list. One would be those photographs,” he said pointing toward the wall. And the other is my place on the lake. The rest, well… the rest I really couldn’t give a shit about.”
The man nodded although his expression gave nothing away. Clearly, he thought Jack had lost his mind. “Ok, then, I’ll have everything drawn up and sent over by close of business.”
Jack stood and shook the man’s hand. “Just so you know… I plan to sell the business once the divorce is final. Not that it really matters to me, but she’ll actually get a whole lot less by agreeing to these terms than she would otherwise.”
The attorney frowned. “I see.”
“I just thought you should know that I haven’t completely lost my mind.”
“No. But whatever she has on you must be pretty substantial for you to be so generous.”
Jack smiled and nodded in the direction of the door. “Guilt. Remorse. Regret. I’ve always found that they typically cost about the same.”
TWENTY-TWO
Jack’s secretary buzzed him. “Mr. Harrison, there’s a Mr. McDowell here to see you. But I don’t see him on your calendar, sir.”
“It’s ok. Send him in, please, Sherry.”
The man entered Jack’s office and sat before being asked. Jack had been told he was the best at what he did, but thus far, Jack hadn’t been so sure. Even with the best private investigator, three weeks had passed and nothing. Not a trace of her. The magazine refused to give any information saying only that she was a contractor, and while they gave her a list of suggested shots and locales—they did not have the final say on when she visited each location. Sam McDowell, a man not much older than Jack himself, looked worn. He looked decades older, his eyes tired and downcast. Which could only mean one thing: no new information.