No One Is Innocent

by Gayle Tiller

  * * *

  A day later, I was released from the hospital. When I walked into the lobby of the hospital, Sheila was waiting for me. She looked worse than I did. Her hair was limp and her face was drawn and tired. Sheila said, "Jazz, I am not going to ask you anything. I just want to take you home."

  I said, "I need to get my car from the hotel."

  "It's already been taken care of. I turned it in yesterday. I also have two tickets for San Jose, the plane leaves in three hours."

  I wanted to protest, but I was too weak to say anything.

  Sheila summoned a taxi. We rode in silence to the airport. We then boarded the plane. We didn't talk for the next few hours.

  When we got back to my house, Sheila said, "I am staying with you until you get better."

  "I am fine. You can leave now."

  "You are not fine. And I am not leaving. You may have gotten that nurse to throw me out of your room. But no one is going to throw me out from here not even your father."

  Why did she have to mention him? The last person that I wanted to think about was him.

  "Sheila, please leave."

  "I am not and that's final. I am going to take a shower and I need some clean clothes."

  "I don't have anything that will fit you."

  "All I need is a pair of sweats and a tee-shirt. It doesn't matter what size they are. It's not like I going to the ball or anything."

  I mumbled, "Okay."

  Sheila then went into the bathroom.

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  I rummaged through my clothes for a pair of sweats and found a pair that was too short for me and an oversized tee shirt. At least, she will be satisfied.

  The phone rang. I didn't feel like answering it so I let the answering machine pick it up.

  It was Dad. He said, "Jasmine, where are you? I have been calling for three days and you have not returned my calls. I came by the house and you weren't there. Are you okay?"

  God, I didn't want to talk to him. But if I didn't, he would just show up at my front door.

  I picked up the phone and said, "Hi."

  "Jazz, where have you been?"

  I wanted to say "to hell," but I knew that I couldn't tell him the truth. I said, "I went out of town for a few days."

  "Where?"

  I couldn't tell him Arizona, so I said, "Reno."

  "Reno? Why did you go there?"

  "I didn't want to tell you, but I met this guy and we went there and we had a blast."

  "You went to Reno with some guy. Why would you do something like that?"

  "Dad, look I am 37 years old. I'm not getting any younger. This guy is a really nice person and we clicked. So we decided to go away."

  "What's his name?"

  Shit his name. God, I better make up a believable name. So I said,

  "Warren."

  "Warren. Hmm, what is his last name."

  I wanted to say Whiskey, but that would be stupid. Instead, I said,

  "Whitney."

  "Warren Whitney. What does he do for a living?"

  "Warren is self-employed."

  "In other words, he has no money."

  "No, he is doing fine financially."

  "So, when do I get to meet him?"

  Meet him. Shit, never.

  "Dad, he just had to go back east on a business trip. He won't be back for a couple of weeks."

  "Jasmine, when he comes back, we will have dinner."

  "Sure, Dad. I'll let him know when I talk to him tonight."

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  "Oh Jazz, you better just check him out to make sure everything is okay with him. You know what I mean."

  "I already did that. Warren isn't married. He's all mine." That was the truth.

  "Good for you. Anyway, how about dinner this week?"

  I lied and said, "Sure."

  I then hung up the phone. I was amazed how well I had lied.

  When I turned around, Sheila was standing in the living room with a towel draped around her.

  She said, "Why did you lie to your father and tell him that you went to Reno with a guy?"

  "Because I didn't want him to know that I was in the hospital in Arizona, because of my drinking." And I didn't want Dad to know that I knew he was the murderer.

  "Jazz, you need to tell your father the truth. Call him back now and tell him the truth."

  "I can't do that. It is none of his business."

  "Your father is your only family. You have to tell him. He can help you."

  "Sheila, I am sick of you lecturing me. Stay out my relationship with my father. And if you tell him anything, I will never speak to you again."

  "Jazz, you're making a mistake."

  "No, I am not. Now here are your clothes. I am going to bed now."

  I crawled into bed and went back to sleep for a few hours.

  I woke up shaking from a nightmare. In my dream, I saw Dad strapped to a chair. Kristal was the executioner for the state of California.

  She was holding hands with Chuck who was rubbing her belly.

  I saw Mama dressed in an old gray dress splattered with mildew and blood. She couldn't talk, but she was waving a note with something il-legible scrawled on it. Keith and Sheila were chanting, "Give him the lethal injection. He's a murderer."

  Kristal said, "It is now his time to die." She then raised the needle to Dad. I ran toward Kristal and wrestled her to the ground. Chuck grabbed the needle from Kristal and stuck inside Dad. Dad screamed,

  "Jazz, you are a traitor. You shall be damned forever." After that, he was dead. Mama beckoned me to hug her for comfort. When I did, she vanished leaving a trail of blood throughout the chambers.

  Was I losing my mind? What was happening to me? Who was I to judge Dad's actions? And why should I be the one to turn him in?

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  I simply did not have the strength to do it. I was too afraid of the re-percussions. I had already lost Mama. And now I would lose Dad forever.

  I needed to talk someone. But who? There was no one that I trusted. I then thought of someone who I could go to. But I couldn't tell Sheila where I was going.

  I locked the door to my room and climbed out the window and walked to the bus stop on Monterey Road.

  I took the 68 bus to Monterey and Curtner and walked to the place where I needed to go.

  When I got there, I entered the gates of the cemetery. I hadn't seen Mama since her last birthday. I needed to talk to her and see what was the right thing to do.

  I kneeled on her grave and said, "Mama, I know about your affair with Bill Roberts. It was wrong for you to cheat on Dad. How could you do that to him?"

  Tears ran down my face and I cried, "I also know that Dad killed your lover Bill and I don't know what to do. He also killed five other people.

  And a woman and her lover are facing the death penalty for murders that they did not commit. But this woman Kristal is not innocent. She had an affair with my husband, while we were married.

  Mama, I know I should turn in Dad, but I don't want him to die. I don't want to be the cause of his death. I just can't do it. What should I do? Please help me."

  I let out a wailing sound and began to cry uncontrollably. I wanted Mama to be there and hold me. I wanted her to guide me and love me.

  Why couldn't she be here?

  I cried and cried until my eyes were swollen. I wiped the tears from my face and sat silently over my mother's grave.

  I looked at the sky and waited for an answer, but none came.

  I stared at my mother's grave and thought about Mama's perfume. I missed the scent of her perfume. It was always so fresh.

  I needed to smell it now. I then remembered where the perfume was.

  It was packed away with Mama's other belongings in El Sol's Storage which was just two blocks away.

  I said to Mama's grave, "Thank you. You have helped me."

  I walked from Mama's grave to El Sol's Storage. I remembered I did not have the key, because Dad had the only copy.

 
; What was I going to do? It was still daylight, so there had to be someone in the office.

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  I went into the office and saw a woman in her sixties with short blue gray curly hair.

  I said, "My name is Jasmine Myers and I am a private investigator. I am here to look at the storage garage for my mother Angela Myers. But I need you to open it for me, because I don't have the key."

  The woman looked at me suspiciously and said, "Why don't you get it from your mother?"

  "Because she is dead. The garage has my mother's belongings, but my father has the key."

  "Then you should get the key from him."

  "I can't, because he is in the hospital in Arizona. He just wants me to bring him a couple things."

  "Why?"

  "Ma'am, I don't want to burden you with my problems, but the doctor told my father that he may not make it through the night. He just wants to see the letters my mother wrote to him while they were dating and a bottle of her perfume. He wants this so he can join her in heaven."

  "Sorry, miss. I didn't know. Let me go and get the key. For your sake, I hope he pulls through. It's hard enough to lose one parent, but two is too much. I know what that's like, because I lost my mother three years ago and my father died last year."

  "I'm sorry to hear that."

  "But you miss are so young. That just isn't fair."

  She then handed me the key.

  I walked to Mama's storage garage. When I opened the door, it was very musty inside and it was full of cobwebs. It looked like no one had been inside it since my mother's belongings were brought here.

  I looked at the boxes, which were carefully labeled. I saw a box labeled Angela's personal belongings. I opened up the box and saw Mama's perfume and letters. I sprayed the perfume on my hand and inhaled it. It smelled sweet like Mama had.

  I looked at the letters. Several of them were from when Mama and Dad were dating. I saw a letter to Dad dated March 11, 1983.

  Ron,

  The love died between you and me years ago. You blamed me for the miscar-riages. You told me because I was evil, I lost my babies. How could you say such a thing?

  You made me feel worthless. It was not until I graduated from law school that I started feeling worthy again.

  And you withdrew from me like I had done something wrong.

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  It's no wonder that I found myself in the arms of another man.

  Ron, I never intended to hurt you. I was looking for love. That's all I ever wanted.

  I am sorry how you learned about our affair. I had no idea that you went through my papers on a regular basis. I am sorry that you read the letters.

  Letters where he not only told me that he loved me, but where he had confessed that he had been passing as a white man. His mother was a fair skinned mulatto, who had died when Bill was a child and his father was a white man.

  Bill had told everyone that his mother was Italian. No one knew about him passing as a white man. Not even his wife or children.

  You wanted to ruin his career by exposing this. How could you? You knew that there was no way in hell that San Jose would elect a black mayor. How could you be so evil?

  You told me that you would not do this on the condition that I stop seeing him.

  I told you I wanted a divorce. You told me that if I sought a divorce, you would charge me with adultery and turn Jasmine against me.

  I tried to stop seeing him, but I couldn't. I was too in love with him to end our affair.

  You tried to ruin him with the union, but that failed.

  A week later after the election, you killed him. Yes, Ron I know you did it.

  I know that you buried the body under the house. I saw you digging in the backyard that night. You told me that you were planting a garden. But you dug up at least six feet and that was deep enough to bury him.

  I also know that you probably killed him with your gun and you probably are storing it as a keepsake.

  How sick can you be?

  Now, you may want to ask how come I never went to the police? Because Ron, I am too weak to go through an interrogation and I only have a few weeks left to live.

  Yes, I should have gone to the police in November, when I first suspected. But I was hoping that I was wrong. That was also the same time that I learned that I had cancer.

  When I first told you I had breast cancer, you told me that God was punishing me for my evil actions. Right then, I wanted to die. How could you be so heartless?

  But I did not want Jasmine to lose two parents at the same time. I did not want to hurt her.

  So I did nothing and I regret to this day that I did nothing. But Ron, you are not free. No, even after my death, I will be watching every move you make.

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  And I do have a secret to tell you. I told someone about you being the killer.

  This person isn't going to come forward now, but this person will tell the truth eventually. And when truth is told, may God show mercy for your soul.

  And Ron, I do have one favor to ask you. Continue to pretend that you are a loving father to Jasmine. Never let her down the way you let me down. She is your flesh and blood, so you must treat her right.

  -Angela

  I stared at my mother's letter for a long time. She had known the truth, but she had done nothing. Was this a sign that I was not to go forward? I left the garage clutching my mother's letter and perfume. I returned the key to the lady in the front office.

  "Thank you for letting me into my mother's storage."

  "I hope you found what you needed for your father. Again, I am really sorry you are going to lose him."

  "So am I."

  I walked to Monterey bus stop to catch the 68 bus home.

  When I got back home, Sheila was standing on my front porch.

  She glared at me and said, "Where have you been?"

  I said, "Soul searching."

  "Have you been drinking again?"

  "No, I haven't."

  She smelled my breath. "Good. Why did you leave?"

  "Sheila, I am not in the mood to answer your questions. I need to go to my office. If you want to come, you can go with me."

  "Okay, I will go with you."

  * * *

  When we arrived at my office, there were over forty messages on my answering machine. A few were from the media and the others were from clients except one message that was from Barry Brown's wife. According to her message, Barry had died peacefully in his sleep last night. She had found my card on the dining room table and said if I had any questions, I should call her.

  I played that message three times.

  Sheila asked, "Why are you replaying that message?"

  "Because I want to."

  I pulled out Barry's declaration, my mother's letter and Ralph's e-mail.

  I was tempted to shred everything so Dad's life would be spared.

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  But without it, Kristal and Chuck would be sentenced to die. Their child or Kristal's child would never really know them. Was that fair?

  Was that right?

  But I would lose Dad forever.

  I began to type on the computer about the case and finished a few minutes later with my conclusion. I printed the document and put it in my briefcase along with the declaration, Mama's letter, and Ralph's emails.

  I said to Sheila, "We need to leave now."

  "Where are we going?"

  "Don't worry about it."

  Sheila reluctantly followed me out of the office. We jumped into my car and drove to the one office that I needed to go to.

  We saw the receptionist and asked for him. He came out and took Sheila and me into his office.

  I said, "James, I have something to show you."

  I pulled out my summary of the case, my mother's letter, Barry Brown's declaration, and Ralph's e-mails and handed over to him.

  He read the documents and said nothing for a long time. It felt like eternity.

  Finally, he sai
d, "Jasmine, you are a courageous woman. I know how hard this is for you."

  Sheila asked, "What he is talking about?"

  He looked at Sheila and said, "You don't know?"

  Sheila asked, "Know what?"

  I said, "I didn't tell her anything."

  James said, "Jasmine, can I show her this?"

  I nodded and James handed her the documents.

  Sheila read the documents and started to cry.

  "I am so sorry Jasmine. I never knew. Please forgive me."

  "Sheila, once I found out. I needed some time to think about it. I am sorry for the hell that I put you through."

  She hugged me and said, "That is what best friends are for."

  James said, "I know that you are probably concerned that he is going to get the death penalty."

  "Will he?"

  "It's highly unlikely. He's a cop. And to charge him with the death penalty, will destroy the department. I don't think the DA would be will-ing to do that.

  "Are you sure?"

  198

  "I am."

  "Now, let's go meet with the Chief."

  When we got up to leave, to my horror Dad was standing at the door to James' office.

  Dad said angrily, "Jazz, you lied to me. Trying to tell me some bullshit that you had met a man and went away with him to Reno."

  "Dad, I had a reason."

  Dad said, "I know what that reason is. And I am not going to prison."

  He then grabbed Sheila by her arm and pointed a gun to her head.

  "Dad, let her go. She is innocent."

  Dad shouted, "The town slut is innocent? Bullshit!"

  "Dad, please let her go. If you want to hurt someone, please let it be me."

  James interjected, "Lt. Myers, everything is going to fine. I'll guarantee it."

  Dad yelled, "No, James, everything is not going to be fine. You are about to screw my life up and send me to prison. You are nothing but a low life opportunist. Now, if the Chief or any other law enforcement official is contacted, Sheila is dead. And that is not a mere threat. It will be carried out. So don't screw with me."

  James replied, "Lt. Myers, we won't notify anyone."

  Dad said sarcastically, "James don't try to bullshit me. And as for you Jazz, I am disappointed. Goddamn it. But I should have known you would tell somebody about me. You are just too goddamn honest for your own damn good."