Once Burned, Twice Spy

by Diane Henders

  “Well, fine!” Dermott snapped, and sprang to his feet. He strode out and slammed the door behind him.

  In the momentary silence, Ian turned to me. “I’m sorry this sting turned out to be so dangerous for you.” He sighed. “And lethal to Dirk. As far as we know, he wasn’t involved in the plot against you.”

  “So why was he even there?” I asked. “Why would Grandin bring him along only to shoot him?”

  Holt spoke up. “Grandin’s not talking yet, but we guess he wanted to make it look as though he was following the extradition procedure. Only FBI has the authority to arrest, so he needed Dirk to keep up the pretense. Plus Dirk’s murder would have been another serious charge against you so even if you managed to escape, Grandin would have the law on his side while he continued to push for your extradition.”

  I swallowed to wet my suddenly dry throat. “Um… about those extradition requests…?”

  “Withdrawn,” General Briggs said. “The United States is cooperating fully with our investigation of Grandin, and the United Kingdom has also withdrawn their extradition request now that they know it was Grandin who drugged Nora Taylor.”

  Thank God. One more hurdle cleared.

  But not the most important one.

  “So that means John and Arnie and Skidmark and Reggie and Jack won’t be facing any charges,” I said, and held my breath.

  If I said it as though it was a foregone conclusion, maybe everybody else would agree…

  “Correct,” Stemp said.

  I sagged with relief.

  “That concludes our business here,” Briggs said. “Stemp, we’ll leave the questioning of Nora Taylor and the decision regarding Kelly’s status to you.” He shot a commanding look around the table. “Dismissed.” He rose and strode out.

  In his wake, Stemp added, “Kelly, Travers, and Holt; stay.”

  Everyone else rose and moved toward the door. The gold-braided crowd left first. Spider came over to hug me on the way out, but his face was strained and I could feel him trembling.

  “Good luck,” he whispered, squeezing me fiercely. “I… I hope…” He gulped and hurried away without completing the sentence.

  Skidmark lingered, helping Ian into a wheelchair that I hadn’t noticed behind the crowd in the conference room. When Ian was settled, Skidmark wheeled him over.

  “No hard feelings, I hope,” Ian murmured.

  I lowered my voice in deference to his headache. “No, of course not. Thank you for everything you did. Will you forgive me for tranquilizing you, too?”

  “Of course.” He smiled with a ghost of his usual joie de vivre. “All part of the game.”

  My heart clenched at his pallor and the lines of pain etched on his face. “I hope you feel better soon,” I added. “You must have a hell of a concussion.”

  “Yes,” he whispered. “My only remaining goal is to go to bed for a very long time.”

  “I’ll get you back upstairs and into the ambulance,” Skidmark said cheerfully before turning to me with a grin. “And I don’t owe you fifty bucks after all. He recognized me, but that wasn’t our bet. I bet you that he wouldn’t rat me out, and he didn’t.”

  I made a face of mock disgust. “Fine. I’ll let you weasel out of it this time, old man.” I stood and hugged him. “Thanks,” I whispered.

  He squeezed me in return. “No problem.” He drew back, his hands on my shoulders as he eyed me steadily. “No matter what happens… it’s been an honour to serve with you.”

  I swallowed the lump in my throat and croaked, “Thanks. You, too.”

  Skidmark nodded and pushed the wheelchair away, his rapid breathing loud in the silence.

  Kane and Hellhound were hovering behind me, and I turned to look up at them. “You’d better help him. He won’t even make it to the elevator before he runs out of breath.”

  “Guess we don’t have a choice,” Hellhound said reluctantly. “Good luck, darlin’. Love ya.” He gathered me into a hug, his lips pressed to my hair.

  “I love you, too,” I whispered.

  We held each other for a long moment before he released me. Kane stood uncertainly, and I went to him without hesitation and wrapped him in a hug, too. His arms came gently around me and I pressed my face into his muscular chest.

  If Sam had twisted my mind to fear Kane’s love, could I overcome the programming?

  But if Nora said I’d been programmed, I wouldn’t live long enough to try…

  I pulled away. “You’d better go after Skidmark.”

  They nodded and each squeezed my hand before they left. Their grip should have been comforting, but the warmth of their hands couldn’t dispel the chill at my heart.

  This was it.

  Nora would be questioned.

  And her answers would determine whether I lived or died.

  Chapter 49

  When only Stemp, Holt, Jack, and the two guards remained with me in the conference room, Stemp rose and nodded to the two guards.

  “Please escort us to Nora Taylor,” he said. His gaze coasted over me, his face devoid of expression.

  The guards took their place behind and ahead of me, and we marched out of the room. Too afraid to think about what lay ahead, I studied Stemp’s back as he strode in front.

  What was he feeling right now?

  Anger at me for concealing that his parents were agents? Or for not turning myself in as soon as I found out I might be programmed?

  Fear that I might have revealed the existence of his wife and daughter?

  Regret that he might have to kill me?

  Or relief and triumph at the knowledge that if he killed me I would cease to be a threat?

  Or maybe he felt nothing. Maybe he turned off all his emotions while at work.

  I wished I could do that.

  Too soon, we rounded the last corner and stopped in front of a closed conference room door. The guard beside it eyed us impassively as Stemp nodded to our two escorts, who took places on the other side and across from the door.

  Three guards. Not for Nora.

  For me. In case I had been programmed…

  I sucked in an unsteady breath as Stemp opened the door and gestured me inside. I crept through, locking eyes with Nora.

  She sat in a comfortable chair with a teacup on the table beside her. Like a guest. Not a like prisoner.

  Not like me.

  “Hello, Dani-dear,” she said gently.

  I gave her a nod, unable to trust my voice.

  Holt took up a position beside me, just out of arm’s reach. I wasn’t fooled by his apparently casual posture. Stemp stood on my other side, just as dangerous as Holt and even more frightening with his cold control.

  “Dr. Travers,” he said, motioning Jack forward. “Please set up the lie detector.”

  Jack moved forward to secure the electrodes around Nora’s forehead. After she had finished calibrating the instruments, she looked up. “Ready for your questions now, Director.”

  “Very well,” Stemp said. “I’m activating the video recording…” He keyed the appropriate commands into a small remote before continuing, “Dr. Travers, you’re dismissed. I’ll let you know when we’re finished.”

  She wordlessly clasped my hands with cold fingers before hurrying out and closing the door behind her.

  Stemp turned back to me. “Kelly, you may begin questioning.”

  “Me?” Shock popped the word out of my mouth before I could stop it.

  “If you wish.” Stemp eyed me, his expression giving away nothing. “If not, Holt or I will do so.”

  Was he testing me?

  Or was he only trying to make this easier on me? He of all people would understand how I was feeling right now.

  But did I really want to ask the questions?

  I glanced at Holt, and Stemp added, “Holt has been briefed regarding all your activities with the Department, and his security clearance has been upgraded accordingly.”

  My heart wavered between relief and dismay. I wou
ldn’t have to watch what I said around Holt now; but his upgraded security clearance probably meant I’d be working with him more in the future.

  Shit.

  But I wouldn’t be working with anybody ever again if Nora didn’t give the right answers…

  I turned to face her, but she was already speaking to Stemp. “I’ll have to ask you to leave now. As I told you earlier, what I have to say is for Aydan’s ears only. I won’t answer questions if I’m being observed or recorded.”

  “Understandable,” Stemp replied smoothly. “I apologize for the inconvenience, and we don’t expect you to divulge any classified information. But we are aware that you told Agent Kelly you are her mother; and also that you said Sam Kraus had embedded secret commands in Agent Kelly’s mind. For your own legal protection and also for ours, you must confirm or deny only those two questions under the lie detector with witnesses.”

  I studied him, searching for a clue in that unreadable façade. Was he lying?

  “Only those two questions?” Nora asked.

  “Yes,” Stemp confirmed.

  “Oh.” She relaxed. “All right, then. Go ahead and ask.”

  Stemp gestured for me to proceed.

  Suddenly I couldn’t speak.

  What if she was really my mother?

  What if she wasn’t?

  Holt shifted impatiently but Stemp stood motionless, watching me with that disturbing reptilian gaze.

  “Are…” My voice came out in a croak, and I cleared my throat. “Are you… my m-mother?”

  Nora lifted her chin in that wrenchingly familiar gesture and smiled at me. “Yes.”

  The green light flashed.

  My heart stopped.

  My knees wobbled and Stemp’s strong hand closed around my upper arm, steadying me. “Do you need to sit?” he asked quietly.

  “N-No.” I sucked in a breath and locked my knees, aware that my entire body was vibrating but unable to stop it. My head floated dizzyingly and I realized I was breathing too fast, shallow ineffectual panting.

  I forced a long, slow belly breath. In… two… three… four…

  Out… two… three… four.

  Holt frowned. “Come on, Kelly, spit out the second question. I’d like to get out of here in time for supper.”

  Supper.

  Nichele and Dave’s wedding was in a couple of hours.

  I wouldn’t make it.

  I would never see the light of day again, because Nora had been telling the truth.

  She was my mother.

  And that meant Sam had programmed me.

  Despair drained the last of my emotions and my voice came out completely flat. “So is your real name Nola Kelly, and was your maiden name Nola Smithers?”

  She smiled again, as though she wasn’t ripping my world apart. “Yes.”

  Green light.

  “Formerly married to Gordon Kelly, my father?”

  “Yes.”

  Green light again.

  There was no other way to ask the question.

  I moved on, feeling nothing but leaden exhaustion. “And did Sam Kraus plant secret mental programming in my brain?”

  “Yes,” Nora said without hesitation.

  The light blinked red.

  Red.

  My knees buckled and I staggered. Only Stemp’s grip on my arm kept me from falling.

  Nora frowned. “There’s something wrong with your polygraph. I’m telling the truth. Ask the question again.”

  I couldn’t speak.

  After a moment of silence, Stemp rephrased the question. “Are you aware of any subliminal programming in Aydan’s mind?”

  “Yes!”

  Nora crossed her arms and frowned at the blinking red light. “Your polygraph is defective.”

  I found my voice at last, a papery whisper that hurt my throat. “It’s not a polygraph. You’re a good enough liar that you can probably beat a polygraph, but this is a new kind of lie detector.” I summoned the strength for the last two words, my heart burning with bitter betrayal. “It’s infallible.”

  “Wha…?” Nora blanched and swayed in her chair, but a moment later her spine stiffened and her chin came up. “That’s ridiculous.”

  “But it is the truth,” Stemp said in clinical tones. “Would you care to explain why you lied about the programming?”

  “I didn’t lie!” She glared at us, but she must have read the reality in our faces. The starch went out of her and she reached a trembling hand toward me. “Dani-dear… Aydan… I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, but I had to be sure you’d talk to me. I was so afraid you wouldn’t want to have anything to do with me…” Her lips trembled.

  Frozen in an icy coffin, my heart didn’t even quiver. A dead voice fell from my lips.

  “You were right. I don’t.” I turned and tottered toward the door.

  “Aydan, please!”

  I didn’t stop.

  Nora’s voice rose. “Wait! Don’t let her go!”

  “Kelly, wait.” Stemp’s flat voice halted me but I didn’t turn.

  Far beyond the ability to think, I stood there as though transformed to a pillar of salt in retribution for my mother’s sins.

  “Oh, thank you!” Nora quavered. “Aydan…”

  “Nola Kelly.” Stemp’s iron-hard voice cut across hers. “Or Nora Taylor, if you prefer. Under the terms of your diplomatic immunity, you are officially free to go. Please complete the necessary paperwork with Agent Holt, after which he will escort you out.”

  Nora’s voice rose. “No, I need to speak with Aydan, now!”

  “Why?” Stemp snapped. “If you are withholding information pertinent to this case-”

  “No, of course not! I just want to speak with my daughter. I’m her mother, for God’s sake, I haven’t seen her in thirty years…”

  I tuned out her voice, letting her pleas blur into gibberish.

  Stemp came up beside me. “Let’s go,” he said quietly. As we went out the door, he spoke to the guard on our left. “Notify Dr. Travers that she can pick up the lie detector now.”

  “Yes, sir.”

  I plodded down the corridor, concentrating only on placing one foot in front of the other. Stemp strode beside me in silence.

  When we reached the stairwell to the exit chamber I stopped. Unable to face him, I stared straight ahead. “Is… is it… over?”

  He let out a small breath that might have been a sigh. “Yes and no. Your status as an agent is unchanged with the Department.”

  “And…” I didn’t dare glance at him. “My status with you… personally?”

  “Unchanged. As usual, you are beyond reproach both personally and professionally, and you are free to go.” He hesitated, and when he spoke again his tone was wry. “Or as free as any of us are.”

  To my own surprise, that drew a bitter half-laugh from my throat.

  He went on, “As yet, we haven’t identified Grandin’s buyer. Holt will continue questioning Grandin in the hope of uncovering more information. We discovered that your mother is legally a British citizen, and as a member of their intelligence agency she is fully protected by diplomatic immunity; so we may never be able to investigate her to our satisfaction. I suspect that reconnecting with you on a personal level was not her primary motive. Although…” Dry humour crept into his voice. “Parents have been known to go to unreasonable lengths for their offspring.”

  I did turn to him then, finding him smiling. In spite of my own turmoil, my lips quirked up in return.

  “Were you surprised?” I asked.

  Stemp startled me with a belly laugh. “‘Surprised’ does not even begin to describe my feelings.”

  “But… you’re okay with it?”

  “More than okay.” He sobered, but the softness didn’t leave his eyes. “Thank you, Aydan. Thank you for believing in my parents when I could not; and for not allowing me to turn my back on them. I am grateful beyond words.”

  I blinked away the sudden moisture in my eyes. “I’m so gla
d you’ve reconciled. With… with Skidmark, too?”

  “With Skidmark especially,” Stemp replied, smiling. “I have immense respect for anyone who can fool me that completely for that long.”

  I swallowed the lump in my throat. “That’s great. Well, you’d better get going. Don’t waste any more time that you could be spending with them.”

  He started forward, but stopped when I didn’t come with him. He turned, frowning. “I thought you would be eager to escape the secured area.”

  “I…” The lump in my throat swelled. “I… can’t face anybody just yet,” I whispered. “Please tell John and Arnie I’ve gone to the bathroom and I’ll be up in a few minutes.”

  “Very well.” He hesitated, his gaze compassionate. “I’m sorry about… your mother.”

  I squared my shoulders to prevent myself from collapsing. “That woman may be my biological parent, but she’s not my mother.”

  Chapter 50

  Inside the washroom, I crept into a stall and locked the door. Curling down onto the toilet seat, I rested my forehead on my knees and wrapped my arms over my head. For once, I was comforted by the knowledge that I was interred in a subterranean vault.

  Maybe the earth would close around me, burying me forever in blessed silence and solitude. No more fear. No more pain. No more fucked-up knee-jerk beliefs that had turned out to be my own after all.

  If Sam had programmed my mind, Stemp might have killed me; but instead I’d been handed a life sentence without parole, trapped in the torment between my ears.

  I hugged myself tighter and a whimper escaped. I had almost dared to hope that I might finally be free…

  Stop it.

  I sat up and shook myself.

  No.

  No, goddamn it, I would be free.

  I shoved myself to my feet, straightening my spine. This new self-awareness was a gut-punch, but it was also a beneficial kick in the ass. I didn’t have to keep reacting the same way forever. Kane was probably right; I’d never get back to ‘normal’. But with enough time and work, maybe I could change.