Wild Wolf

by Karen Whiddon

  “The professor?”

  She nodded. “Mostly. But there have been others. Boulder’s a dog-friendly town. How do you deal with the domestic animals’ reactions?”

  For a moment he wasn’t sure he understood. “You mean they—”

  “Sense what I am. Most of them don’t like it. Their eyes see human, but their noses tell them I’m wolf. I’ve been attacked at least six times.”

  Now he understood. “That’s easy to correct. It’s all in the way you walk, the way you present yourself to them. I forget sometimes you weren’t raised among shifters. We’re taught at an early age how to blend in.”

  She made a sound, part grunt, part sigh. “You can’t tell me that every single shifter, and I believe you said there were thousands worldwide, receives training.”

  “The one raised in a pack environment do. Of course, not everyone is brought up in our lifestyle.”

  “Exactly. What about those? How do they cope?”

  He had no idea. “Maybe they know instinctually how to deal with pets. I do know that this particular issue is rarely a problem.”

  “It is with me.” She gave him a sad smile. “That’s why I find life easier living away from society. Even as a child, I never fit in.”

  “You didn’t know there were others like you.”

  “No. But I still wonder how like me they really are.”

  “Any difficulties can be overcome with training.” He winced, aware he sounded like he was reading directly from an advertising brochure. Once, he’d believed everything he’d been taught wholeheartedly, without reservations. Now, looking at Raven’s haunted, beautiful face, he wondered how much he really knew.

  He really needed to talk to Beck. He said so out loud.

  She sighed. “Why are you so obsessed with these people?”

  He gave her a sharp glance, but saw only curiosity in her face. “These people, meaning my job?”

  She nodded.

  “My job has always been my life. The Society is very select when they choose Protector candidates. I left my family when I was four and went to live in a dorm. From that point on, everything I thought, said or did was directly related to being a Protector. Without that…”

  “You think you are nothing.” Her soft comment made him wince.

  Finally, he nodded.

  “Have you ever known anyone who’s done what you did?”

  “Disobeyed an order?” He thought for a moment. “Actually, no.”

  “And you claim I live a sheltered existence. Just because you’ve never heard of it, doesn’t mean it never happens.”

  “True,” he admitted, though he found the idea unpalatable. “But if that’s the case, then the fact that no one ever speaks of it isn’t good.”

  She frowned. “What do you think happens?”

  Saying the words out loud felt like blasphemy, but he said them anyway. “I’m beginning to think they’re exterminated, just like a Feral who can’t be rehabilitated.”

  “That would make you, all Protectors, nothing more than—”

  “Murderers.”

  Chapter 9

  T he blizzard continued on until late the next afternoon, depositing more than a foot of heavy powder. Forced to wear her human form so long, Raven felt antsy. Part of the reason was the close proximity to Simon and the unsettling effect he had on her.

  For so long, living as close to a wild animal as she could manage, her desires had been simple. Food, shelter, the companionship of her pack and sleep. Anything she wanted, she took.

  But she’d never craved anything the way she had begun to want Simon. Fighting this constant desire made her snappish, with a bad case of cabin fever.

  After her comment about Protectors being murderers, Simon withdrew even further from her, brooding and pacing and muttering under his breath. She left him alone until she could stand the silence no longer, then made a small comment or two, hoping to start an argument.

  Nothing worked. He ignored her, not seeming to even notice the confinement, not appearing to mind being trapped in the tiny chalet with her. When she spoke, he grunted an answer. He treated her, she thought with disgruntlement, like an annoying younger sister. Perversely, this only made her want him more. She’d never been one to pass up a challenge.

  In fact, while the blizzard raged outside, she felt more and more trapped, contemplating changing and heading outside. Only the intensity of the storm stopped her, because even wild things had to hunker down when the weather got this bad.

  Her furious restlessness finally got Simon’s attention.

  “What is wrong with you?” he asked, watching her wear circles in the worn and faded rug.

  “I don’t like this.” She delivered her answer, the understatement of the century, in a surly tone. “I’d rather keep moving.”

  “Me, too, but not in that.” Gesturing at the window, he smiled, causing her stomach to do flip-flops. “We have no choice but to wait this out.”

  The first night, Simon let her have the bed and tried to sleep on the sagging couch. The second, he told her they should switch, but he couldn’t do that to her. No one could sleep on that couch, he’d said.

  “I hope you don’t mind if I share the bed with you?” The last he delivered with a rakish grin.

  All she could do was stare. Her throat had gone dry, and she knew if she tried to speak, her voice would come out in a croak. She licked her lips, wishing for lip balm.

  “I—” she finally managed.

  His grin faded. “I didn’t mean like that,” he said quietly. “Just for sleep. I won’t touch you, I promise.”

  “I’ll take the couch.” She turned away so he wouldn’t see her conflicted emotions in her face.

  “No. Listen, I’m sorry.” He reached for her, touching her shoulder.

  In the interest of self-preservation, she flinched away. “Don’t touch me.”

  Narrow-eyed, he watched her, lowering his hand. “What’s wrong with you?”

  “I was raped.” The words felt as if they were torn from her.

  “Yes, I know. By the professor.”

  “Over and over and over.” Closing her eyes, she tried to blot out the images, but she couldn’t. She wouldn’t cry, couldn’t cry, she’d wept over all that too many times in the past, and she was done crying for something she couldn’t change.

  But now Simon reached for her, and heaven help her, she couldn’t move. At first. Then, she found herself struggling, blindly striking out, terror and rage filling her as she tried to get free.

  He wouldn’t let her go.

  “Shh.” He held her, murmuring soothing sounds, over and over until she ceased struggling and stood frozen, feeling like a captive rabbit, trembling in his arms.

  “I won’t ever hurt you,” he whispered, smoothing her hair, his touch gentle, his voice soft. And suddenly she wanted more. More. Damn it. Much more. She wanted things she had no right to want. Things she had every right to want. His touch, washing away the stain of the past, cleansing her body, fulfilling her…

  With a soft cry, she pushed him away. This time, he let her go.

  “You take the bed,” he said quietly from behind her. “I’ll sleep on the couch.”

  Ashamed, aroused and feeling more than a little sorry for herself, Raven turned without a word and climbed the stairs.

  The next morning they danced around each other, skittish as strangers. When the snow finally stopped falling, Simon opened the door to two feet of fresh powder.

  “We should have taken skis.”

  As an attempt at a truce it was pitiful, but Raven was so tired of the silence, she said the first thing that came to mind. “Can you ski?”

  He glanced at her. “You never learned?”

  “No.” She sighed. “Maybe if we had snowshoes…”

  “We’ve got to get going. The Protectors won’t let a little thing like this deter them. We’ve got to go.”

  “As wolves or humans?” she asked.

  “I thin
k we’d better stay human.” When she frowned, he held up his hand. “We’re going farther down, maybe even as far as Boulder Canyon. They won’t think to look for us if we travel closer to civilization.”

  Despite her reluctance, his logic made sense.

  “Can we change before we leave and go for a hunt? My wolf,” she touched her chest, “is restless.”

  This brought another of his achingly beautiful smiles. “Mine, too. Sure, let’s change. It’ll be good to let our wolves out.”

  Raven didn’t wait to hear anything else. Stripping off the hated, yet warm clothing, she cracked the front door open, dropped to the floor and changed. She ran out the door in a flash of black fur, leaving Simon behind.

  Simon supposed he should be glad Raven was so skittish. He didn’t know why he’d proposed they share the bed, which would certainly have been a test of his self-control. Trapped in such close proximity to Raven, he’d found the temptation overwhelming. He’d had to mutter the Code of Ethics to himself several times, each time he looked at her and his body stirred.

  The instant the words left his mouth, he regretted them; even more so when Raven had begun freaking out.

  Changing to wolf would be a huge relief.

  Shedding his clothes, he dropped to the floor to begin his own change.

  She waited for him by a grove of trees, her compact body coiled as she prepared to spring into a run. As he neared her, she took off. Grinning, he gave chase.

  As he plowed through the snow, Raven’s black wolf-self barely ahead of him, Simon felt all his worries melt away. Sensation flooded him—the cold, powdery snow under his paws, the sun warm on his fur, the icy breeze promising plentiful game and a fair winter day.

  His muscles flexed, powerful, working in unison in a way his human body never would. He leaped, simply for the pure joy of the movement, and when he landed he sent up a powdery plume of snow.

  A second later, Raven did the same, though she jumped at him. Hitting him hard, she rolled him in the snow, playfully snapping.

  Much larger than she, he pushed back, rolling her not once, but twice, then standing over her with his tongue lolling. His stance dared her to try to move him and being Raven, of course she did.

  Scooting out from under him, she tucked her hindquarters and ran, skimming the snow. Four wolf lengths away, he caught her and sent them both tumbling down a hill.

  While running with his own pack, Simon had seen other wolves play in a similar manner, though in small groups rather than one-on-one. Such play between two wolves was reserved for mates. Though Simon knew this (and suspected Raven did, as well), his wolf took too much pleasure in the lupine play to care.

  As he and Raven circled each other in preparation for another tumbling match, somewhere to their left a wolf screamed.

  Instantly, both he and Raven froze.

  The sound came again, piercing. Simon had only heard such a scream once before, when a wolf had gotten gored by an angry elk.

  The cry had come from a small grove of trees to their left. Glancing once at Raven, Simon immediately took off in that direction, running at a full gallop.

  Raven followed, gaining ground rapidly until she was close on his heels.

  Together, they burst into a small clearing. There, the snow was red with blood. One of her wolves, Theo, the young male who’d refused to leave her, shrieked again. He must have followed them. A black metal bear trap had closed around his back leg.

  In the space of a heartbeat, Simon changed back into human. Barefoot and naked, he hurried to within a few feet of the trapped wolf. Raven, knowing the quick shifts back and forth would cost her, also became human and grabbed his arm.

  “That’s Theo. One of mine. He’s in pain and he doesn’t know you. Let me.”

  He gave a curt nod. “You’ll have to hold him without getting bit. It’s gonna hurt like hell when I go to pry the trap apart.”

  “I know.” Murmuring low in her throat, she approached the injured wolf. Out of his mind with pain, the young male snarled and snapped, narrowly missing Raven’s arm.

  Naked in the snow, they both shivered. “We need something to wrap his leg. We’ve got to stop the bleeding.”

  Nodding, she changed back to wolf and took off for the cabin. Since they’d left the front door open, entering shouldn’t be a problem.

  Waiting, Simon changed to wolf himself since he’d be warmer. He kept a safe distance between him and Theo. The young male was in excruciating pain, snapping, moaning and grunting. Every now and then he let out an agonized cry, which pierced Simon’s heart.

  After what seemed an eternity, Raven returned. Still wolf, she carried what looked like a pillowcase in her mouth.

  When she reached him, she changed to her human form, immediately shivering. She held out the pillowcase. “This should be enough to use for a tourniquet.”

  Simon changed back, too, dreading the instant slap of cold, especially on the bottom of his still-numb feet.

  “Are you ready?”

  At her nod, Simon eyed the whimpering wolf. “You’ve got to hold him still while I get the trap off.” Simon knew he sounded grim. “Maybe you should try to subdue him as a wolf rather than human.”

  “It’d sure be warmer.”

  “Yes.” He glanced at the ever-widening blood staining the snow. “We’ve got to hurry before he goes into shock and I freeze. I’ve got to get that thing off and the wound wrapped before he loses too much blood.”

  He didn’t tell Raven that the wolf would most likely lose his leg. He could only hope the trap wasn’t rusty. Without a way to sterilize the wound, the risk of infection ran high and the young animal would be lucky not to lose his life.

  “Good idea.” Again, Raven instantly shifted into her wolf shape. Simon turned his attention to the young wolf. Weakening from the blood loss, the gray-coated wolf shuddered, struggling to keep his head up, snapping and snarling at nothing in particular.

  Issuing a low growl of warning, Wolf-Raven crossed to Theo’s side. She lowered herself slowly until the bulk of her lupine body sprawled across the injured wolf’s torso, pinning him down. Each time Theo raised his head, she bared her teeth. Because she was his Alpha, he finally gave up.

  Now. Simon went to the trap. Made for bear, the heavy iron trap appeared to have been set and forgotten. It looked old and rusty. His heart sank.

  He glanced once more at Raven. Then, satisfied she’d be able to keep the young wolf from lashing out at him in pain, Simon began prying apart the rusted metal, his blood-covered fingers freezing.

  The instant he got the trap open, the nearly severed leg began spurting blood. He packed the wound with snow and ice and wrapped the tourniquet tightly on the upper leg.

  “I wish we had some pain meds and antibiotics.” He swore fiercely. “This is worse than I thought. Raven, if you want this wolf to live, we’re going to have to go into Boulder. I grew up there and one of my best friends is a vet. He’ll help us.”

  She stared at him, her wolf eyes unblinking.

  “Help me get Theo into the cabin.”

  Watching the tenderness with which he tended the young wolf, Raven knew a moment of doubt. Though she kept trying to force herself to see Simon as the evil Terminator, his actions constantly surprised her.

  Though she hadn’t asked, she didn’t understand why he’d bothered to help the wild wolf. Taking care of the injured animal would slow their progress by days, maybe even weeks. From the way he’d talked about Ferals, wild wolves should mean nothing to him, but he never once considered abandoning the wounded animal.

  She could almost like the man for that.

  Especially since she would have refused to leave Theo. For him, she would venture into town.

  A few hours later, Simon had rigged a sled using plywood, some old two-by-fours and rope.

  “We’ll take him down the mountain on this,” Simon told her.

  They dressed silently, each eying the wounded wolf. Theo had lapsed into a fevered unconsciousn
ess, but their attempt to lift him had him snapping. Finally, Simon had to place a makeshift muzzle over his snout.

  Together they lifted the injured animal onto the sled. Theo let out a moan, then a grunt, before lapsing back into unconsciousness.

  Simon took the left rope, Raven took the other. Pulling the sled together, they headed down toward Boulder.

  Daylight had begun to wane by the time they finally rounded a turn and saw Boulder stretched out below them.

  The injured wolf still lay unconscious on the rough sled they’d made, his shallow breathing and weak heartbeat testifying to the urgency of the situation.

  “Where’s your vet friend located?” Raven asked.

  He withdrew the cell. Now he had plenty of signal. “Let me call him.”

  “Wait.” She touched his arm. “Is he in your Society?”

  “The Protectors? No. He’s a friend, just a guy I went to college with up in Fort Collins. He’s not pack.”

  Glancing at him, she raised a brow. “I thought you said the Protectors took you when you were four.”

  “They did. But we weren’t kept in a compound or a monastery. We were sent to foster homes, in a community where other Protectors lived. It wasn’t until I was put on active duty that I had to go live in headquarters. It’s kind of like the human military, I guess.”

  She nodded. “Are you from here, then?”

  “Born and raised. I grew up in Longmont.”

  She hadn’t known he was a Colorado native. Nor that the Protectors had apparently allowed him to have some semblance of a normal life. But then, why should she?

  Simon made the call, talking in a low voice. When he finally closed the phone, he gave her a thumbs-up. “I filled him in on what’s been happening. We can bring Theo to his clinic. He’ll meet us there.”

  “Great.” But she couldn’t make her feet move.

  “Are you ready?” He seemed to understand her fear.

  “I grew up in Boulder,” she told him, careful to keep her voice neutral.

  “Yeah, you told me. You went into town to steal food and supplies.”

  “Not that town.” The words came out in a rush. “Nederland, maybe even as close as Golden, but not Boulder. Never Boulder. Too many bad memories there.” Though she’d mentioned her fear before, she thought she might have understated how she really felt. Terror might be a better description, if her pounding heart, tight chest and trembling were any indication.