Rock Stars Don't Like Big Knickers

by Nikki Ashton

  “Only those that I think are feisty enough to give me some banter back, and I think you are pretty feisty.”

  Martha couldn’t help it, she had to look at him; she could always take a cold shower when she got home. Luke licked his lips and his eyes sparkled with a hint of naughtiness.

  Martha gulped back a moan. She could not allow herself to start crushing on him again. She was not fifteen and he was not the school hottie and this was not the school concert after-party, and he was her boss.

  Sensing her discomfort, Luke decided to play fair. “How long have you lived in the village?” he asked.

  “Sixteen years, I moved here just after I had Betty.”

  “Wow, that’s pretty young to have a baby. I take it the father isn’t on the scene?”

  Martha bit her bottom lip. She shook her head.

  “It must have been difficult bringing up a child when you were so young and alone. You must have only been a kid yourself.”

  “Yeah, it was, but my uncle Graham helped out. He still lives in Rickeby,” she said. “He was amazing, even giving me the deposit for my cottage.” Martha wasn’t sure why she was telling him, but he asked, and yes she always told the truth, well, almost always.

  “So, you were a year below me at school you said?”

  “Yes,” Martha replied. “I was in the school concert with you. I was in the choir and played the recorder. You won’t remember though. I used to hang around with Tina Harding.”

  Luke smiled and closed his eyes. “God, Tina Harding, Titty Harding we used to call her because of her massive...well you get the picture,” Luke replied with a laugh. “Can’t say I remember you though. Particularly, the school concert or the party afterwards.”

  Martha heaved a sigh of relief, glad in some ways that he didn’t remember her following him around aching for at least a smile in her direction.

  “I have to admit I was a nightmare during my last few weeks at school, I was rude and obnoxious.” Luke leaned against the cupboard, waiting for the next dish to be washed.

  Martha took a deep breath as she thought about Luke and her crush on him during that time. “I always thought you were pretty cool, most people did actually.”

  Luke shook his head. “I’m not proud of how I behaved then. My poor parents had to fight for me not to be suspended a few times in my last year. I think the teachers just turned a blind eye at the end as they knew I’d be out of their hair before long.”

  “I know what you mean, I think they wanted me to leave when I got pregnant, but my Uncle Graham fought against it.”

  “Not your parents then?” Luke asked taking another dish from Martha.

  “God no, they threw me out almost as soon as the blue line appeared on the pee stick. I was a whore as far as they were concerned.” Martha shuddered remembering the day vividly. “I have never spoken to them since. I only know that they’re still breathing because Uncle Graham hears from a cousin who gets a Christmas card from them.”

  “Nice. So what about your daughter’s dad, didn’t he want to help?”

  Martha stopped washing the dish in her hand, wondering whether it was appropriate to talk to her new boss about such things. She wasn’t ashamed of Betty’s conception, it was one silly mistake that had given her a beautiful daughter, but she didn’t want Luke to judge her.

  “Sorry, it’s none of my business,” Luke said.

  Martha looked at him and shook her head. “No, it’s fine. I’m not ashamed I just hate to think that people might judge me.”

  “Hey, you’re talking to ‘Mr Fuck Up’ here, who am I to judge anyone?”

  Martha took a deep breath. “I have no idea who he was.”

  “Shit, did he force himself on you?” Luke almost dropped the plate he was drying.

  “God no, there was a group of us on the school field one night during the summer holidays; you know how it was –cider and cigarettes. Well a group of boys from another school joined us and we started playing ‘Truth or Dare’. I got so drunk taking forfeits instead of dares that finally I had to do one. I was dared to go into the cricket pavilion with one of the boys and...well... One quick feel led to another, and hey presto, nine months later a baby appeared.”

  Luke stood open mouthed as he listened. “Did you never try and track him down?”

  “What was the point of ruining his life? It was a quick, rather clumsy fumble between two pissed up teenagers playing a stupid game. It was so dark in there and I was so drunk I didn’t even know which one it was.” Martha’s cheeks reddened. “I know that makes me sound like a slut, but I wasn’t, it was my first time and I was more than willing.”

  “Does your daughter know all of this?”

  “Yes,” Martha replied, looking Luke directly in the eye. “I’ve never lied to her about it. I’m not sure why I’ve told you though,” she said with a soft laugh.

  “Everyone needs someone to talk to sometimes Martha, and I promise I don’t judge you. I think you’re amazing actually. I don’t know how you’ve kept your shit together through all that. I take my hat off to you.” Luke laid a hand on Martha’s shoulder; it was the only way he could think of to show his support, words just didn’t seem enough.

  The heat from Luke’s touch made Martha give a tiny shudder.

  “Thanks, but Betty’s made it pretty easy. She’s a great kid and I’m very proud of her.”

  “I’ll bet, how old is she, seventeen?”

  Martha nodded. “She’ll be eighteen at the end of May, then hopefully she’ll go off to uni’ in September, if she get her grades.”

  “I think my nephew Noah likes her,” Luke laughed nudging Martha.

  Martha rounded on him and gave her best ‘death stare’.

  “Well she can’t be distracted by boys, not in her last year. I need her to concentrate on passing her A-levels.”

  “Oof,” Luke threw his hands up in mock surrender. “Okay Mamma Bear, I’ll tell him that he needs to stay away.”

  Luke shook his head and frowned as Martha continued with the final dishes, working in silence. Finally, with everything done Martha wiped around the sink, rolled her sleeves back down and sighed.

  “All done. Thanks for your help,” she said, glancing at Luke. “I really appreciate it.”

  Luke hung the damp tea-towel over the radiator and smiled widely at Martha.

  “No problem, it was good chatting with you. Oh and I’m sorry about earlier, about the way I spoke to you and joking about you taking a booty call. It was rude and uncalled for.”

  Martha dropped her head, wishing her hair wasn’t up in a ponytail so that it could hide her crimson face.

  “No problem,” she mumbled.

  “Let me make it up to you. How about I take you out for a drink one night?” Luke touched Martha’s elbow, making her jump.

  “Oh erm, I don’t know. You don’t have to, and I’m not sure it’s appropriate.”

  “I know I don’t have to, but I’d like to. Plus, I know I’m paying your wages, but I could do with someone my own age to talk to around here. So go on, I’ll even pay you overtime if it makes you feel better.”

  He comically fluttered his eyelashes, causing Martha to giggle.

  Oh what the hell, what was the worst that could happen? Perhaps she should say no, but it would be rather nice to spend some time with another adult, and a pretty hot one at that.

  “Okay,” she said eventually, “if you’re sure.”

  “Excellent,” grinned Luke. “I’ll look forward to it.”

  Martha smiled a thin lipped smile and hoped she hadn’t just made the worse decision ever.

  Chapter 6

  “Muuuuum, Uncle Graham is here.”

  “Alright,” Martha said, struggling down the stairs, her arms loaded with a huge bundle of washing. “I heard you the first time. I was just changing the beds.”

  “Well, you didn’t answer, so I thought you hadn’t heard.” Betty scowled at her mother, who had been in a foul mood all week.
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br />   Martha had worked every day at the house, cooking, cleaning and helping Lucia but there had been no sign of Luke. Every time the phone rang, or the intercom for the gate buzzed, Martha had held her breath, hoping that it might be him, but he hadn’t appeared all week, and so hadn’t spoken to Martha about going for a drink. It wasn’t missing out on a date with Luke that she was annoyed about – okay, so he never said it was a date – it was more the fact the he hadn’t done what he said he would. He could have phoned her, even if it had just been to say he wouldn’t be able to make it for some time, a phone call would have been appreciated. It was the height of bad manners and just proved that he really was as arrogant and infuriating as Martha originally thought.

  “Hi Uncle Graham, has Betty made you a cuppa?” Martha managed a smile for her uncle as he looked up from his newspaper.

  “Yes thanks love, although it’s just as crap as she usually makes.” He winked at Betty and carried on reading.

  “Uncle Graham! That’s not very nice, I make lovely tea. Anyway,” she said, leaning down to kiss his cheek. “I’m off to Em’s to do some course work.”

  “What was that?” Martha appeared in the doorway leading into the kitchen.

  “I’m off to Em’s, we’ve got some course work to do for tomorrow.”

  “Oh okay, are you back for dinner?”

  “Probably not, Em’s Mum said we can have pizza.”

  “Okay, what about you, are you staying, Uncle Graham?”

  Graham shook his head. “No thanks, I’m off out on a date tonight.”

  “Ooh Uncle Graham, you sly old devil.” Betty turned back into the room and perched on the edge of the sofa. “Spill.”

  “I thought you were going out?” he said, smiling at his great-niece.

  “Not until I’ve heard the details about my new auntie. Did you like, meet her on the internet?”

  Martha let out a snort. Graham struggled with the concept of putting pound coins in shopping trolleys, never mind using the internet.

  “Hey, there’s no need to snort like that. No, as a matter of fact I met her at Rockabilly’s.”

  This time Martha and Betty snorted together.

  “Rockabilly’s? What on earth are you doing in a nightclub? You weren’t like perving on the girls were you?”

  Graham’s eyes widened. “No, I was not. Blimey, I’m only fifty-five, I’m not so past it that I can’t go to a nightclub.”

  Martha flopped down on the sofa next to Betty and nudged Graham’s leg with her foot.

  “So come on then stud, what’s her name and how old is she?”

  “Her name is Sally and she’s forty-nine, and if you must know it’s quite serious, she’s already stayed over a couple of times.”

  Betty suddenly started to make a gagging noise and shrugging her shoulders as though she was wretching.

  “Ugh, disgusting, I don’t want to know,” she cried.

  “Well bugger off out then.”

  “Take no notice of her Uncle Graham; I’m really pleased for you. Betty take your fingers from out of your mouth.”

  “Well, with that delightful vision in my head, I’m going. Bye, and please make sure you practice safe sex.”

  “Betty!” Martha threw the death stare at her daughter.

  Once she heard the front door slam, Martha turned back to Graham.

  “Seriously though, I’m really pleased for you. It’s been a long time since you had anyone special in your life.” She leaned forward and gently squeezed his hand.

  When her parents had thrown her out, Graham, her mother’s brother, became the father that her own had never been, and had supported her both financially and mentally throughout her pregnancy. Graham’s wife, Tanya, had died only a year before, so it was all still very raw for Graham and with no children of their own, having Martha and Betty around helped him too. He’d had a couple of romances over the years, but nothing serious, so hopefully this was now his time to enjoy life a little more.

  “Anyway, enough about me,” he said, blushing slightly. “What about you, how’s the job going?”

  “It’s good. Mrs Mahoney, Lucia, is lovely,” Martha replied. “She wants to chat and drink tea most of the time, or she’ll sit in the kitchen while I cook, so it’s not been too taxing so far.”

  “It’s a big house though, love. I bet it takes most of the day to clean.”

  Martha shook her head. “It’s fine, I’ve written up a rota so I don’t have to do it all in one day.”

  “And what is the great Luke Mahoney like? Has he changed from the silly little prat he was at school?” Graham arched his eyebrow.

  Martha looked up at him and shrugged. “Who knows? One minute he’s being a cocky rock star, the next really thoughtful.”

  “What did the cocky rock star do then?” Graham asked.

  “Oh you know, just throwing his weight around.” She didn’t think Graham would benefit from knowing that she’d also seen Luke butt naked.

  “Martha, this is Luke Mahoney we’re talking about. The Luke Mahoney. I need more gossip than that.” Graham laughed.

  “Seriously Uncle Graham, there’s nothing to tell, plus I have a clause in my contract.”

  Graham smiled. “Okay, I understand. So, did Betty enjoy helping out?” Graham folded up his newspaper and leaned forward in his chair.

  “Yes, she did, and Em and Ruby. They worked really hard.”

  “What does she think about the rock superstar living next door?”

  “She couldn’t care less about him,” Martha said. “But his nephew? Him, on the other hand, she was interested in.”

  Graham nodded. “Okay, and is he interested in her?”

  “I don’t think so, he seems pretty busy, he works as Luke’s assistant. Anyway, I’ve told her that she can’t get involved with any boys this year, not with her A-levels coming up.”

  Graham steepled his fingers and rested his chin on them. “She’s a good kid; I’m sure she’s listened and understands.”

  “I hope so; I want her to get a good start in life.”

  Silence fell for a few seconds, as Martha wondered whether to tell Graham about Luke asking her out for a drink. He’d known she’d had a couple of dates over the years, but for some reason she didn’t want to tell him that the resident Mr Sex God of Rock has asked her. Then again, nothing had come of it anyway; the egotistical idiot hadn’t even called.

  “So,” Graham broke the silence, “what about you? What was it like meeting Luke, after all these years? Does he still light your fire?”

  “Ugh, you’re so funny. But, no he didn’t.” Martha lied. “I did ask if he remembered me from school.”

  “And?”

  Martha smiled weakly and shook her head. “No, he didn’t.”

  After Graham left, Martha made a sandwich and then busied herself doing the washing. She was just about to sit down and watch some T.V. when she heard Ernie clambering through the dog flap. After the sound came the smell, and as he strolled into the lounge she understood why. He was covered in cow manure.

  “Ernie!” she cried, determined to kill either Betty or Graham for leaving the garden gate open. “I don’t bloody need this at eight o’clock at night, you stupid animal.”

  Every so often, if he could escape, Ernie would wander down to the field and take great pleasure in rolling in the cow muck, and if he was feeling particularly mischievous he would eat it too. Normally he was extremely well behaved and if the gate did happen to be open he would simply sit watching the world go by, but then at other times, like today, he would have a brainstorm and think, “Ooh I know I’ll go and roll around in cow shit, what fun that will be”.

  “Ernie, you are one disgusting dog,” Martha moaned as she picked him up and carried him upstairs, at arm’s length, for a good hosing down.

  Once he was in the shower cubicle, Ernie was in his element. First of all he lay on his back and let Martha rub shampoo into his belly, while he caught the jet of water from the shower in his
open mouth. Then, once his belly was done, he got onto his feet and lifted his chin in the air while Martha scrubbed the suds into his back. Finally, Martha was just about to rinse him off when Ernie, in his excitement, decided to thank Martha by leaping up and running around the bathroom at full tilt. As he jumped he knocked the shower head out of her hands causing it to writhe around, spitting out water like a snake in urgent need of some charming.

  “Ernie,” she shrieked. “No!” She stood up and reached in to turn off the shower.

  Ernie, still sopping wet and not in the mood for behaving, continued to run around as though his tail was on fire, bombing out of the bathroom and into Martha’s room, hurling himself onto her bed and frantically rubbing his head on the pillows, before jumping off and moving onto the next room. Finally after three laps, of the entire first floor, he stopped in front of Martha who, already dripping wet, was watching him from the bathroom door. Ernie blinked at her and then gave one last almighty shake, which soaked her even more.

  “You little sod,” she growled, wiping a droplet from her nose. “Next time Betty can wash you.”

  Suddenly, Ernie pricked up his ears and started to bark – less than a second later Martha heard a knock at the door. Ernie ran down the stairs and Martha followed him. She shut Ernie in the lounge and threw open the door.

  Standing in front of her, looking dangerously sexy and very handsome, was Luke.

  “Hi,” he smiled.

  “Oh hi,” she whispered, quickly running a hand through her damp hair.

  Martha closed her mouth quickly, trying to stifle the familiar urge to lick him. She coughed nervously, and thrust her hands into her jeans pockets, aware that they were shaking. They were like a couple of maracas accompanying the drum beat that her heart was knocking out.

  “Pleased to see me then?” Luke nodded his head towards Martha’s chest.

  She looked down and squealed, thrusting a hand against each breast. Ernie had soaked her white, Marilyn Monroe t-shirt, not only making it rather see through, but the chill in the air and the coldness of the water had forced her nipples to attention, making Marilyn’s strategically placed eyes bug out as though she had a thyroid problem.