by Hannah Gray
“Thank you for trying,” she says softly before reaching up and running her fingers through my hair. “I don’t want to live in a world where you and I are apart.”
Her words, though they might seem small, mean so fucking much. She’s always been so quiet with how she feels. I know she loves me. I know I’m the one for her. But she has a hard time saying the words out loud.
“Me neither, baby. But right now, we need to get your beautiful ass back to work.” Spinning her around, I slap her ass hard. “Chop-chop.”
twenty-four
Ally
The next weekend comes fast, and here I stand, ready to go out in front of a shit-ton of people and sing the national anthem. I love that Cole did this for me, but at the same time, I sort of want to castrate him for it.
“Don’t be so nervous, girl. You’re going to totally kill it,” Sloane says before giggling. “And remember, no matter what, you will never be half as bad as me.”
My skin feels hot with anxiety; it prickles and feels itchy. My brain is in an almost-foggy state. I’ve never been this nervous to sing in front of people. But this is a lot of people.
I try to give her a smile to let her know I’m okay. Though I think it just comes out as an awkward, weird-as-fuck facial expression, of which I have no control over.
Damn Cole and his ideas.
“And now, our very own student, Ally Lee James, will sing the national anthem.”
The words echo through the stadium, and I actually think my stomach might fall out of my butthole. But even still, I make my way to where I was told to go, and I take the microphone. And once I have it, that thing that always happens, happens again. I’m fine as the words begin to flow out of my mouth. I couldn’t tell you how they sound because my heart is pumping so loud in my ears that I can’t hear a damn thing other than that. But I know I’m singing the words.
When I’m done, I find Cole in the line of players, and I give him my best smile.
He did this for me. He gave me the honor of singing the national anthem at a college football game. And what an incredible thing that was to do.
He points to me and claps. Telling me he thinks I did a good job, and really, that’s all that matters. The fact that he believes in me is everything.
“Go down there and give your fine-ass boyfriend a kiss,” Sloane says, shooing me away.
I roll my eyes but oblige. Secretly wanting to throw my arms around him and drink him in.
Cole poured every ounce of himself into this game. He was on fire, and it was a beautiful sight to watch. And the team won by a landslide.
“Hey, superstar.” I wink. “Looked pretty good out there.”
“Pretty good?” A wolfish grin stretches across his face. “I was fucking legendary.”
“Eh … you were all right.”
Scooping me up in one swift move, he presses his lips roughly against mine. “You’re so full of shit. I’m surprised your eyes aren’t brown.”
“I’m just playing.” I kiss him, tasting the mint gum he’s been chewing. “You were fucking legendary.”
“Damn straight I was.” Twirling me around in a circle, he puts his nose to my neck. “And you, Ally Lee James, were fucking incredible.” The stubble on his face tickles my skin. “And unbelievably sexy. You were born to be on a stage, sweet cheeks.”
Setting my forehead against his, I peer into his eyes that look more green than blue today. “I don’t know about all that. But thank you for setting it up for me to do that. I was nervous, but I’m so glad I did it.”
“Anything for my angel.” He nips at my neck.
The truth is, as much as I love to sing, I’m starting to second-guess that I want an actual career in it.
“Yo, Storm, party tonight at Andrew and Asher’s house. You coming or being a little bitch?” Knox calls out to Cole.
Usually, Cole wouldn’t take being called a little bitch too well, but I can tell that anything that comes out of this guy’s mouth is all in good fun. I’ve been around him and Weston since Cole and I have been spending more time together, and I have to say, I enjoy hanging around them. And I can tell they are good friends to Cole, which obviously seals the deal for my stamp of approval.
Setting me down on my feet, he looks down at me. “What do you think? You feel like partying tonight?” Pressing his mouth to my ear, he drops his voice low enough for only me to hear. “Or we could go back to my place and have a party of our own.”
My lips curve up in a smile. “While the latter is rather tempting, I could actually go for a little Crown and a lot of dancing.” I look at Knox and tip my chin up. “Sloane will be with me.” I don’t ask; I tell him.
“Perfect,” he mutters before stalking off.
His body language tells me he isn’t big on the idea. But oh well. Where I go, she goes.
“Who even are Andrew and Asher? No frat guys, right?” I ask Cole.
He shakes his head. “Fuck no. They are seniors on the football team. They have a place off-campus.”
Tilting his head to the side, he tucks a strand of hair behind my ear. I don’t know how he makes such a small movement seem so intimate.
“I hope we can have a place off-campus next year too.”
Pulling my lips to the side, I hold my hands up and shrug. “We shall see.”
His eyes narrow slightly as he watches me. “Yeah, we will.”
He wanted me to give him more. To tell him, Yes, yes, let’s do it. Let’s plan to move in together! But the truth is, I haven’t even come clean to him yet about all the secrets I’ve buried. I’m being disloyal, and I know that isn’t exactly the best recipe for us moving into a place together.
Hopefully by next year, everything will be out on the table. But then again, what if Sloane wants to room together still? I can’t be that girl who drops her one and only friend for a guy. But he isn’t just a guy.
One thing I know for certain is, I am excited to tip back some Crown and shake my ass against Cole and Sloane. My experiences in the past shouldn’t ruin my chances at being a normal college girl. And normal college girls get dolled up and go to parties. That’s exactly what I plan to do tonight.
Cole
The music pounds through the speakers at the party, and I’m standing here, wondering why in the fuck Ally was so hell-bent on coming separately.
Because she lives to be a pain in my ass—that’s why.
“Where’s your better half?” Weston grins, handing me a beer.
Taking it gratefully, I take a long pull from it and frown. “She insisted we meet each other here. She wanted to come with her friend and ‘run into each other.’ Get the whole ‘college experience.’ ” I shake my head. “Women are batshit crazy.”
Clinking his beer against mine, he nods. “True that, brother. True fucking that. But I gotta tell you, that girl of yours, scary as she might be, she can fucking sing.”
“Hell yeah, she can. She’s going places. Big places.”
He eyes me over. “That scare you?”
Playing with the label on my beer bottle, I shrug. “It never did before.”
“And now?”
“And now”—I sigh—“I don’t know. She keeps me at arm’s length. I don’t even know if she realizes she’s doing it.” I shouldn’t be telling him any of this. My relationship with Ally has always been sacred to me. Yet here I am, spilling our secrets.
“Then, make her let you in. I’ve seen the way that chick looks at you, my man. She’s ride or die, no doubt.”
Finishing my beer, I set it down and run my hand over the top of my head. “Yeah, she is. She always has been. I just want to make sure she’s riding shotgun because she wants to. And not because she’s loyal to a fault.”
He lightly slaps me on my back, and his eyes meet mine. “I promise you, a girl like her, if she didn’t want to be riding in that car, her ass would have never gotten in the seat in the first place.” He winks, and then he’s gone.
I hope he’s right. I�
��ve tried to push these feelings aside. Feelings of fear that I’ve had that she’s going to leave when she finally figures out I’m not what she wants. That she can be a star all on her own, without me. Honestly, if I lost Ally, I’m not sure I’d survive it. That’d be like taking my heart out, and how the fuck could I live without a heart?
I smell some chicks perfume before she speaks, pulling me from my thoughts. It’s obnoxiously strong and not welcome.
“Hey there, big guy,” she purrs before dragging a nail up my arm and across my chest.
The last thing I want to be is rude, but Jesus Christ, I wish these chicks could understand the word boundaries.
When I turn toward the chick who is undoubtedly trying to be Cole Storms’s fuck of the night, I remove her hand from my body. Which causes her to stick her lip out and pout.
“Come on, handsome. I promise you, I can be one hell of a good time.” As she leans into my ear, her fake-as-fuck tits push against my side. “In fact, I can be anything you want me to be.”
“While I’m sure that’s all true and I have no doubt you’re great and all, I’m going to have to pass.” I attempt to smile, trying to at least treat this chick with kindness.
Her hand reaches up and touches my hair, causing me to flinch. It’s never sat well with me when chicks think they can just put their hands on the football players simply because of the team’s overall reputation of being fuckboys.
“I’ve been told I give the best head at this campus.” She smirks proudly, and I’m suddenly so fucking thankful that Ally has a brain and knows not to tell people out loud how good she is at sucking dick.
That would be awkward.
“Wow … what an … accomplishment. That sounds wonderful, but I’m all set.” Pointing to Dex, who’s standing by the pool table, I nod my chin at him. “That guy right there will gladly take you up on your … talents.”
“I’m also down to do anything,” she says slowly. Not getting the hint. Not fucking getting it at all. “Even back door.”
“What’s going on over here?” Ally’s smooth voice coos as she glances between us.
“Not a damn thing,” I say, drinking in her body like water.
The girl who apparently can suck dick like a motherfucker snarls, “We were getting ready to go somewhere. Can I fucking help you?”
Her breath smells of cigarettes. Mix that with whatever perfume she’s wearing, and it makes my fucking stomach turn.
It’s like a slutty nana meets chain-smoker, sprinkled with a little bit of porn star. But not the hot kind.
Ally’s eyes shift between us. “Were you now?” Her eyes finally land on mine.
“Fuck. No,” I growl. “I was polite the first fifteen times you came on to me, and I turned you down, but now, I’m really fucking over this.” Moving forward, I grab Ally’s hand with no other intention, except to get the fuck away from this weirdo.
Leading her outside onto the back lawn, I see a few chairs next to the fire.
Pulling her down onto my lap, I grip her thigh. “Took you long enough to get here.”
She doesn’t look at me, and her body is rigid. “Seems like you were getting on fine without me,” she answers bitterly.
“What the flying fuck, Ally? That bitch came on to me. It happens a lot here, and it means absolutely nothing.”
Of course, at that exact moment, a group of girls decide to all take their clothes off and climb into the hot tub.
Leaning over the edge, completely topless, one slurs, “Storrrrmy baby, come in here and keep us company.”
Ignoring them, I keep my eyes trained on Ally.
“Let’s just go. This was a fucking stupid idea,” I say through gritted teeth.
“Stooorrrm,” she slurs again. “I promise you, I’ll treat you way better than that frosssty bitch can.” Her friends all giggle obnoxiously. “Bitch isn’t even that good-lookinnng.”
“She does not deserve a guy like him. I’ve heard his dick is huge,” another gushes. “I can’t wait till it’s my turn to ride it.”
“Wait … isn’t that the girl who sang the national anthem at the game?”
“Yeah, she wasn’t even that good.”
Pushing herself up, Ally struts over to the hot tub. “Reeeally fucking classy, you dumb bitch.” She tsks them. “Cole Storms doesn’t sleep with bitches who have loose vaginas that are the size of the Grand fucking Canyon. So, I’m sorry to say, sweethearts, but you’re shit out of luck.” She shrugs apologetically. “Maybe you can get surgery to fix your pussies, just like you got surgery to fix your tits.”
“Ugly bitch,” one yells before splashing water.
“Slut!” another screeches.
“Enou—” I start to yell but am cut off when I see Ally pick up their clothes before throwing them into the fire.
Walking backward away from them, she smiles, holding her hands up. “Whoopsies! Hope that wasn’t anything too expensive.” Covering her giggle with her hand, she shrugs. “I’m just so damn clumsy when I get around thirsty bitches. My sincere apologies.”
Once she gets away from them, she turns around and walks back into the house. Long, dark hair cascading down her back sways with every step she takes. Her hips moving side to side is a welcome sight.
“Ally,” I yell, but she keeps walking.
Following her out the front door, I grab her arm. “What the fuck are you doing?”
A bitter laugh escapes her as she points her finger at me. “Is this just how it’ll be? As in from here on out?”
“How what will be?” I grunt.
“Being around you. It’s now you and the entire campus. You belong to them now.”
“Fuck that. I do not belong to this fucking campus. Cut the shit.”
“How would you like it, huh?” She levels me with a harsh glare. “How would you like it if every single time we went out, a dude was trying to fuck me?”
“Damn it, it’s not the—”
“It is the same!” she yells, cutting me off and stomping her tiny foot. “It would be no fucking different! She said your dick is huge. What if that Kent guy had said my tits were nice? How the hell would you like it?”
I get it. I do. I would lay a motherfucker out for hitting on my girl. I know I would. And if Kent had said a word about her tits, he’d be receiving his meals through a straw. But I didn’t ask for this type of attention. And truth be told, I hate it. I wish I could just go about life and be left the hell alone. But that isn’t how it works now.
“You’re right; it’s the same. I’m sorry. I’ll do better at trying to keep them away.”
“How, Cole? How can you keep girls from acting like this? How?”
“I don’t know!” I slam my hand against the wall, causing her to flinch. “It’s just part of my life now, Ally! Shit’s different than it was back in the Falls, Jesus fucking Christ!” I regret the words as soon as they leave my mouth and make their way into the world.
“Good to know that things are different.” She moves back a step, trying to put a bigger gap between us. “You’re the one who’s different. Chilling with your buds, letting bitches hang all over you, walking around like you’re God!” She holds her chest, and I watch as she crumbles before me. “It used to be us. Me and you, together.”
“It still is us. I’m right here. I have been right. Fucking. Here.” Stepping up to her, I glare down. “I am not the fucking one who chose to leave in the first place, remember that?”
“How could I forget?” she hisses. “You remind me every. Single. Day.”
“Guess I haven’t gotten over it.” I shrug lazily. Being the resentful dick that I am.
“Good.” Her venomous eyes narrow. “I suppose you never will either.”
“How the fuck can I when you can’t tell the fucking truth to save your life, Ally?”
She isn’t a liar; she is just withholding information from me. Information I need in order to move the fuck on.
“Go fuck up more parts in your life wit
h heated words, Cole.”
Tears roll down her face, and I should want to stop them, but I’m too fucking pissed.
“You show up here, begging for me to fuck you. Giving me nothing in return, and I’m the one who is fucking things up?” I laugh. “What the fuck happened to you, Ally? Because you aren’t the girl I knew before.”
“You’re right.” She pounds her fist against her chest. “That girl is dead. And guess what, Storm. So are you and me.”
“No surprise there,” I say sharply. “You’ve been looking for a way to sabotage us since we started back up again. Congrats, Al. You’ve done it again.”
“You don’t know what the hell you’re talking about, Cole.”
She tries to leave, but something in me snaps.
Grabbing her wrist, I anchor her in place.
“Let me go! I’m not yours to control, Cole! I don’t belong to you.”
“Well, fuck you then. Because I belong to you. I fucking belong to you and you alone.” I get an inch from her face, and my chest heaves with every uncontrolled breath that I take. “Rub that fucking lamp, Ally. Rub that godforsaken thing, and I’ll be here, at your feet, chained to you for the rest of my miserable life.”
“Don’t you get it?” She shakes her head, wiping tears away with her sleeve. “I don’t want to be your master. And you sure as hell aren’t mine.”
Dropping her wrist roughly, I glare down at her. “Good.”
As she leaves, I can’t stop myself from what I say next. “Don’t come crawling back to me. Not this time.” And then I say something that I’ll soon realize are poisonous words that I’ll regret for the rest of my pathetic life. “You want to treat people like dirt, Ally? Well, now, I see why every person in your life has left you. It’s all crystal clear.”
Turning around, she comes at me, fist flying as her tear-soaked face sobs.
I catch her fist in my hands, holding it down.
“Fuck. You,” she screeches in a high-pitched sound I’ve never heard come from her.