by Hannah Gray
I’d already hated birthdays because she never remembered mine. And if I’d tried to tell her, she’d usually flip her shit and call me ungrateful.
So, yeah, birthdays have never been my favorite thing. Once I found her dead, that was just the icing on the cake for why I fucking hate birthdays.
He pulls a lighter out of his other pocket and lights the candle. “Make a wish and blow it out.”
Closing my eyes, I make a wish. A wish that means more to me than anything else. I wish for Cole’s dreams to come true.
He’s done this every year since I was thirteen. Our foster parents never acknowledged our birthdays either, and we obviously didn’t have much money for presents or cakes. But he knew I loved cupcakes, so a pack of cupcakes was what I got. He made sure of it each year.
Looking at him, I blow the candle out.
Holding it up to my mouth, he nods at it. “Take a bite.”
I do as I was told. No doubt, my face is covered in the creamy filling. Taking it from him, I glance down before smiling. He looks away for a split second, just long enough for me to smash it against his face.
I can’t stop myself from laughing as he wipes his arm over his cake-covered face.
“Oh, you’re going to pay for that!” he says before pulling me against him, wiggling his eyebrows. “Or you can lick it off of me. I think you got some down here,” he says, patting his crotch.
I roll my eyes. “You are such a perv.” Leaning up, I kiss his frosting-covered face. “But thank you for always doing this. It means a lot to me.” I smile. “Even if I still fight it every year.”
“Every. Single. God. Damn. Year.” He shakes his head with his hands on my hips. His eyes are more green today than blue as they dance between mine. “Well, besides the one we were apart.” His expression looks pained.
“But you did this with all the other ones,” I point out. “Because that’s who you are.”
He’s the guy who knows that, deep down, I’d be sadder if we didn’t acknowledge my birthday at all, so he does something small yet special like this. He’s also the guy who could try to throw a surprise party or tell Sloane it’s my birthday, but he knows I would hate that. So, instead, he does something that is comfortable for me.
Like I said … that’s who he is.
And who he is, is way too good for who I am. But I hope he never figures that out.
Cole
I know Ally’s birthday is a hard day for her. It’s a painful memory of her mother’s death. And honestly, I don’t think she’s sad because her mom is gone—because her mom was a rotten bitch to Ally—but that day still clutches the trauma of it all. What probably holds more significance is how shitty birthdays were when we were kids. I think it’s hard to love a day the way the rest of the world does when, growing up, you watched the other kids’ parents make the day they had been born so special while our parents couldn’t even lay off the drugs long enough to realize what day it was.
Can’t go wrong with Hostess CupCakes though when it comes to Al. She doesn’t want extravagant or expensive. She just wants the familiarity of the same thing. And the comfort of knowing that somebody cares and that someone remembers her.
Something else Ally also hates? Change. So, I knew this was the one thing that was familiar, that she likely wouldn’t stab my dick for doing. If I had tried to throw her a party, that shit would have landed me in the hospital—no doubt about it.
“Where are we going?” she says from the passenger seat.
Her bare feet up on the dashboard is a sight I could surely get used to.
“You’ll see, sweetheart.” I wink. “Just sit back and let your sexy ass enjoy the ride.”
“Better not be a fucking surprise party,” she mumbles under her breath. “I’ll murder you.”
“Ally, you know better than that. I like my nuts, and I’d like to keep them intact. Don’t need to piss you off and have you go cutting them off or some shit.”
“Good thinking,” she deadpans.
She turns her body toward me, and her forehead creases. “Hey, um … I hate to bring this up, but have you thought about talking to Matt and Jenn yet?”
“Not yet,” I lie.
The truth is, I’ve thought about it a disconcerting amount of times. For some reason, I’m as nervous as a little bitch. I didn’t live with them long, yet they treated me good in that time. I guess part of me isn’t ready for it to end. But I’m afraid telling Ally that will make her feel like she is no longer my number one. Which isn’t it at all. She’ll always be my number one. But this whole having family in the stands, cheering for me, thing, well, it feels better than I imagined it would.
“Okay,” she answers quietly. “Just wanted to check in on it. Sorry to pry.”
Reaching across the console, I take her hand in mine. “Don’t be sorry.” I sigh. “All right, I have thought about it. I just don’t know how to go about it.”
“Can’t avoid them forever, Storm.”
I nod. “I know. Since it’s only four hours away, I think we should drive down to their house sometime this weekend. Get it over with, you know? I have practice Sunday morning at five thirty, but we could head down after that. Don’t have to be back until six at night on Monday, so we could get a motel.” I wiggle my brows and wink. “Unless you have to work?”
She looks thoughtful. “I work Sunday breakfast shift, but I could see if Carla could cover it, and then I’ll cover for her next weekend.”
“Sounds good, sweet cheeks. Can’t go down there and face the awkwardness without you.”
She giggles. “You just know I’ll protect your ass if they get mouthy.”
“Pretty much.” We get closer to our destination, and I grin at her. “We’re almost to the surprise party, where fifty people are going to jump up when you walk in.”
“Fuck off. You know bet—” She stops mid-sentence as she looks up at the huge sign as we turn into the parking lot. “Wait …” Her lips tremble. “Here?”
“You’ve always wanted to go to a Shinedown concert. So, here we are. Happy birthday, Al.”
Her eyes grow misty as they dance between the large stadium and me. “Cole, I don’t … I don’t … wow, I can’t believe you got me tickets.” She shakes her head. “I’ve never been to a concert before.”
“Neither have I, so I guess today’s the day we break our concert cherry, huh?”
“You’re too good to me.” She reaches over the console, throwing her arms around my neck. “Way too good.”
“Not true.” I press a kiss to her lips. The sweet taste of Juicy Fruit lingers on her pouty lips. “But you can pay me back later. Let’s go find our seats.”
Ally
“How did you get seats this close?” I ask him, gazing up at the stage a few rows in front of me.
He looks uneasy before he answers, “Matt and Jenn are always pushing their credit card on me. I told them I’d use it for certain things, important things, but I’d pay them back every cent once I made it into the NFL.” He frowns. “Well, maybe sooner if it all blows up with them Sunday night.”
“I don’t think it will,” I tell him. “I really think it will all be okay. I’m telling you, they aren’t bad.”
“I hope you’re right,” he mutters just as the music begins.
The curtain slowly lifts, showing Shinedown behind it. “Black Cadillac” comes booming out of every speaker, and I’m so thankful that nobody around us is actually sitting.
Dancing against Cole, singing and laughing like we don’t have a million problems going on inside of our heads, is exactly what I need.
When the song switches to “I’ll Follow You,” Cole murmurs into my ear, “This will be our wedding song.”
Craning my neck around, I grin up at him and mouth, It’s perfect.
And it is. It really is.
thirty-four
Ally
The ride to Florida on Sunday has my stomach in knots. We decided tonight would be for us and us alon
e. We got a fancy motel not far from Matt and Jenn’s house, and we will go there Monday morning for breakfast before making the drive home.
I take in the giant bathtub, which is actually a full-sized hot tub.
“Cole, this is nuts.”
Setting his bag down, he shrugs. “Guess Jenn and Matt wanted to do something nice. They probably know we’re going to drop the bomb that I know tomorrow, and they’re trying to butter my ass up.”
Swaying my hips as I walk over to him, I glide my hand up his shirt, feeling his deliciously hard abdomen.
Shit, he is absolute perfection.
“Either way, there’s a lot of area in this suite.” Backing up, I walk toward the bathroom, where a huge glass shower awaits.
Pulling my shirt over my head, I drop it on the floor, followed by my pants. Only in my bra and thong, I spin around and face the man I love. Whose chest is now rising and falling much harder.
Reaching around, I unclip my bra, letting it drop to the floor before slowly gliding my thong down. “Think I’ll take a shower. I’m dirty.”
Turning around, I don’t even make it two steps before his arms are wrapped around me, dragging me to him as he walks us into the shower.
Tugging his jeans down as quickly as I can, I basically tear his clothes off like a rabid animal.
Fisting my hair, he puts his mouth to my ear, and his facial hair tickles my neck, making me squirm. “You trying to tease me, angel?”
“Oh no, I wouldn’t dream of it.” I giggle against him. “It isn’t teasing if at the end of it, we both get what we want.”
“Yeah? And what do we want?”
Acting shy, I bite my lip. “What do you want?”
Leaning down, he takes my nipple into his mouth and licks.
“What do I want?” He smirks. “What I want is to taste you and to watch as you come undone on my tongue. What I want is to fuck that pretty mouth of yours so hard that you almost have to tell me to stop. And then when you’ve had enough and when I’m almost over the edge, I want to fuck you against that glass shower.” His eyes intensify. “That’s what I want.”
Backing up into the shower, I pull him with me. His body is enough to make a bitch quiver on the spot.
The water sprays down over us as our lips, tongues, and even teeth clash.
He hoists me up, and a devilish grin plays on his lips. “So fucking beautiful. And so fucking mine,” he says before he sits down on the shower floor and brings me right down onto his face.
I cry out. The need I’ve had for this release all day has been taunting me. “Yesss,” I hiss.
His tongue moves with as much grace as he does on the damn football field. Each stroke serves a purpose. Each touch making me cry out in pure desperation for more.
The only words that could express how I’m feeling are pure ecstasy. My entire body trembles as I look down at him invading me this way.
It isn’t long before that feeling takes over. But I don’t want it to. Not yet anyway.
“Let go,” he demands. “Let go right now. All over my tongue.”
My body does what it was told before my brain even has a moment to think about it. And I grip his short hair and pull lightly. Moaning as I call out his name.
Climbing off of him, I waste no time in pulling him onto his feet before I drop onto my own knees.
Stroking his length with my hand, I lean forward and take him into my mouth.
“Jesus fucking Christ, Ally,” he growls.
Moving my mouth up and down on him, I work him over with my tongue. Making sure every spot gets sucked, licked, or touched.
Reaching down, he takes a fistful of my hair and angles my head up slightly to look at him. I watch his throat move as he swallows, his chest heaving as he breathes.
Knowing he’s close, I take him into my hand and pump him until, soon, he’s spilling himself on my hand and in the shower.
Once he’s finished, he sinks down against the shower wall, pulling me onto his lap. I straddle him as the water pours down over our bodies as if it’s washing away this night.
“Two out of three things you wanted, we just accomplished in one,” I tell him.
“And the night is still young.” Running his hands up my back, he grins. “And I also want to fuck you against the window, overlooking the city—with the lights off, of course. And on that shag rug in front of the fireplace.” Moving his hands down to my ass, he chuckles. “Hold on tight, baby. It’s going to be a long and wild ride.”
We might have just had intense orgasms, but here I sit, ready for the next.
Cole
Here we lie, completely tangled up in each other, her heart beating next to mine. The last thing I want to do is ruin the mood, but I know I can always talk to her.
“I’ve been having some flashbacks,” I say, causing her to crane her neck to look up at me.
“About your dad?” she says softly.
“Yeah,” I breathe out. “One of when he died and another of … when he … well, when I got the scar.”
“Maybe … it’s your brain just reminding you of things you’ve blocked out? Things you’ve tried to outrun?” she suggests.
I have always tried to just stuff my feelings down and focus on the present. No sense in dwelling on the past when there isn’t a damn thing I can change.
“Maybe,” I mutter. “Maybe I’m fucked up.”
“Well then, babe, we’re both fucked up,” she says, snuggling closer against my chest. “But that’s what makes us who we are. We connect through pain.”
I grimace at my next words. I’ve always been vocal about my feelings for Ally. But other shit? Hell no.
“Sometimes, I feel like I just don’t … fit. At the fancy college, with this team … I don’t know … I’m an imposter, it seems.”
She mindlessly traces over her name on my chest. “You fit more than you think, Cole. You don’t have any idea what anybody else has had to walk through. I’m sure a lot of people could relate to you and me than you think.”
I nod. “Very true. This is why I keep you around—you straighten my ass out.”
She sits up, and her hair falls to the side. “I do it because I love you. And don’t ever forget: you fit with me—perfectly. Rough edges and all.”
Rough edges and all.
thirty-five
Cole
Reaching her hand over, Ally runs it up my arm. “You okay, babe?”
“I’m good.” I nod. “I’ve got you with me, so it’ll all be fine.”
“You freaking know it,” she deadpans. “I’ll knock them out if I need to.” She hits her fist against her tiny palm.
I laugh. “No doubt, angel. No doubt.”
I know she would in a heartbeat, if shit got out of hand. She’d do just about anything for me.
“But for real, what is the plan here?” She seems concerned. “Are we going in there, guns blazing? Or are we going to first eat some of the dope-ass food you say Jenn cooks? You know I love a good home-cooked meal. Lord knows we haven’t had many of those to enjoy.”
“I don’t really know. I feel like I won’t form a plan until I’m actually there. Should we have a signal?” I wink.
Her face lights up, and some of the worry leaves it as a laugh bubbles out of her. “Ca-caw, like a crow, could be bad news bears. And the words gummy bears could be, Let’s take it nice and easy.”
“Gummy bears?”
She nods. “I mean, yeah. That seems like the nicer approach, the more likable one. And I mean, come on, who doesn’t love gummy bears?”
“You’ve got a point, ghost rider. You’ve got a point.”
She nods, looking forward out the front window. “Let’s just take it as it comes. Whatever happens, I’m here.”
Thank fuck for that.
“It’s probably no secret we didn’t come here to bond over lasagna,” I say, glancing between Matt and Jenn. “I want answers. And I want them now.”
Even though I must admit, this l
asagna is fucking delicious. Which is why I waited until we were almost done with dinner to drop my bomb that I know what’s going on.
Ally basically moaned with every bite she took of the fucking stuff, so I couldn’t not let her finish her food. Growing up, we never had home-cooked meals like this. I didn’t want to cut her experience short. Nobody loves their food as much as Ally.
Jenn looks at Ally. “You told him?”
Ally nods. “Damn straight I did. I should have told him much sooner. As in right when I found out.”
Jenn nods slowly. “It’s okay. I know we put you in a hard spot.”
Matt takes his wife’s hand into his and looks at her.
Giving him a small nod, she smiles sadly. “Go on. He deserves to know.”
Fucking right I do.
He pushes his chair back, and it scrapes against the expensive tiles. He stands and disappears down the hallway briefly before returning with a picture. Once he sits back down, he slides it across to me.
I feel Ally’s hand tighten on mine, reminding me she’s here. In this moment, everything seems like I’m in a damn tunnel. One I am stuck inside of and want to get out of.
Looking down at the picture, I feel my heart pounding in my chest so loud that I wonder if everyone else can hear it.
A boy, likely age eight or nine, stares back at me. The boy looks vaguely familiar, but what is really familiar is the run-down trailer that sits behind him.
“I don’t understand,” I say out loud, not to anyone in particular, more to myself. “I don’t get it.”
The room is eerily quiet for a beat before Matt finally clears his throat.
“I lived in that trailer for the first ten years of my life,” Matt says, looking down at the table. “With the same monster you grew up with.”
I jerk my head up at his confession. His head lifts, and his eyes meet mine.
“Wh-what?” I ask, feeling Ally’s grip tighten and her thumb moving up and down along my hand.