Hurricane Butterfly

by Vermeulen, Mechelle

  “Okay, I’ll just get my phone.” My cheeks pull up nervously as I swing around and rush back inside, glancing at him through the large windows of the lounge. I grab my phone from the table. Three missed calls from Alice. I scroll to her number when the phone buzzes in my hand.

  “Hey sorry, I’ve just seen…“

  “What the fuck, we have a life and death situation on our hands!” Alice can be a little dramatic at times. I take a breath in, but she starts again before I can say a word.

  “So, Melissa just came back from the gas station, and a guy driving a brand new Camaro asked Luke if he knew where to find Ben! She took a pic of him, oh my God he’s fucking delicious, I mean, sex on a stick delicious, seriously, I can’t explain, anyway…‌I’m sending it to you now.”

  “No, wait…‌look I can’t talk now, I need to call Ben.”

  “Oh my God, is he there?” she yells.

  “Yes.” I turn and see him standing in the foyer, hands in pockets, eyes set on me. A naughty grin brushes his lips, and I feel myself melt into a puddle on the floor.

  Ben picks up on the first ring. “Hey Soph, what’s up?”

  “Uhm there’s someone here looking for you.”

  “Oh?” he remarks absentmindedly.

  I glance back, yup, still looking. “He said his name is Josh Roxwell?”

  The line goes quiet for a moment “Where is he?” he asks in a toneless voice.

  “In the living room.”

  “I’m on my way.”The line goes dead, and I stand with the phone in my hand when from my peripheral vision I see smoke bubbling from the oven.

  Shit! I grab the oven mitts, run around the kitchen table, and pull open the oven door. Smoke engulfs me as I retrieve the charcoaled cupcakes, and throw them into the sink. As I spin around, I bump into a rock-solid chest.

  Gulp. I look up at him. He’s about two feet taller than I am. The same height as Ben. The corners of his lips lift a smidge as he grabs my hand and pull me out of the ball of smoke and into the lounge. His hand feels warm and strong and wraps around mine like a glove.

  “Are you okay?” He stands so close that I can smell his spicy aftershave. God, he’s gorgeous. How is it that Ben has never talked about him?

  “Yeah, I’m fine, better than the cupcakes.” I smile nervously. This is the strangest feeling I have ever felt. He looks at me it is as if he knows me, as if it would be perfectly fine for him to take me into his arms and kiss me until I’m breathless.

  The side of his mouth lifts as his tongue traces over his bottom lip, painfully slowly, as his hand brushes gently against my mouth. “You have something on your lip.” The line between his brows deepens, “pink,” he mouths.

  My heart thumps as I watch him slip his finger with a smidge of pink cream frosting into his mouth. Wow.

  “So, you’re friends with Ben?”

  “Y…‌yeah, we’ve known each other for almost four years.” He looks away, and I realize I’ve been holding my breath.

  “Do you live here by yourself?” his hand trace over the stubble lining his jaw.

  “Uhm, no, I live with my Nana. My mom left when I was very young, so my grandparents raised me. Pops died a few years ago, and now it’s just the two of us. ” Stop talking Sophie, you sound like an idiot. Breathe.

  “I see.” He nods slowly, still smiling, his eyes on mine. “You are very sweet, Sophie Blake. Ben is very lucky to have someone like you.”

  I gasp inwardly, nervously rubbing my wrist. “We’re just friends.” I blurt out in a shaky voice. Why the hell did I just say that!

  “Sophie?” Ben’s voice pulls me out of the spell I’m under. Both of us look up at Ben standing in the door with a dark expression on his face.

  “Ben.” I try to catch my breath, but it’s no use. My heart’s racing, and my whole body’s on fire.

  Josh calmly averts his attention to Ben, then walks up to him and holds out his hand, which Ben reluctantly takes.

  “What are you doing here?” Ben says in a low tone.

  I fold my arms over my chest and take a deep breath, trying to get a grip on myself but my body betrays me, missing the nearness of him. The animosity in the room grows by the second. Ben shoots a quick glance my way; his eyes are stone cold.

  “Is there somewhere we can talk?” Josh asks calmly.

  Ben’s brows arch. “Right here’s fine.” He gestures to the lounge.

  The air is almost static as Josh follows Ben into the open kitchen and lounge area and sits down. It’s clear that this is a very uncomfortable situation for both of them, but they try to act as civil as they can. I decide to excuse myself to give them some privacy and go into the kitchen to try to clean up the burnt mess.

  Ben sits forward with his elbows resting on his knees. His hands sound rough as he rubs them together. “Why are you here?”

  Josh pulls an envelope from the inside pocket of his jacket and puts it on the coffee table between them. “It is a copy of my mother’s will. She passed away two months ago, and the estate has just about settled. This is for you.”

  I can see Ben’s back stiffen from where I’m standing. Suddenly he seems unnaturally uncomfortable. “I’m sorry, I…‌didn’t know.” He stutters.

  “My father has sold the company and moved out of the house. He’s living in the holiday house.”

  Ben runs his hand over his beard, nodding slowly as if deep in thought, then leans forward and takes the envelope between his fingers.

  My heart almost stops as my phone suddenly vibrates in my hand. “Don’t hang up,” Alice says on the other line.

  “Freaking hell, you’ll give me a heart attack,” I whisper.

  “Why are you whispering?”

  “Josh and Ben are sitting in the lounge. Something’s up. I’ve never seen Ben this uncomfortable. ”

  “Okay, so here’s what we know so far, Joshua Roxwell, twenty-five year old son of property tycoon Edward Roxwell, he lives in Seattle. He is the only son of the late philanthropist Grace Roxwell; she built clinics and shit all over Seattle. Edward Roxwell recently sold his business. He looks like a guy with many enemies if you ask me. Grace died a few months ago in a car accident, and her daughter, Josh’s sister, Lilly, died four years ago, looks like it was a suicide.”

  I lean out behind the cupboard only to look straight into Josh’s dark stormy eyes. “How do you know all of this?”

  “Google, jeez Soph, have you been living under a rock?”

  “Well, whatever’s going on, it’s not pretty. They can hardly look at each other. There’s so much freaking tension between them, it feels like the air is going to turn to ice.”

  “Oh my God, can you please not pretend like you don’t have a Mr. Walking Orgasm in your house!” I imagine her glowering at me with her one hand in her side.

  I roll my eyes. “You’re not helping Alice.” I wet my lips imagining how his lips would feel against mine. How his strong hands would pull me up against his body and fold his arms around me shielding me from the world. Okay, time to snap out of it.

  “Okay, see you later, and I expect details, so get your bony little ass in there.”

  It’s easy to see who the reporter is. I push the phone into my pants pocket, take a deep breath, and walk out into the lounge.

  Chapter 3

  ~Josh~

  I knew from the moment my mother brought him to the house, things would never be the same. Not that my life was fucking perfect. He quickly became the perfect son, and everything I was not. The only reason the private school hadn’t thrown me out was my father’s money. He didn’t care what I did, just as long as I didn’t embarrass the family.

  My mother was a saint, end of story, and someone my father didn’t deserve. She tried to keep the peace, but after Ben arrived, it became a fucking lost cause. She had her hands full with Lilly. Ben was the only one who seemed to have a fucking connection with her, and as much as I fucking hated it, they ended u
p becoming extremely close. After four years, I can still feel the fucking anger and hate radiating from him.

  “What’s this?” I can see his throat muscles contract as he pulls the envelope closer, carefully lifting the flap then pulls out the papers. He glances up at me, then back down as the contents glide out onto the table.

  “It’s a copy of the testament and a letter we found in her personal safe. She wrote it a month before…“I stop; it never gets easier to say it.

  He holds the envelope between his fingers for a moment, and then slips it back in the bigger envelope, glancing over his shoulder at Sophie standing by the kitchen table. “I can’t look at this now,” he says and puts the envelope face down on the coffee table.

  Okay, so he hasn’t told her about any of this. That’s why he’s being so cagey. “I understand.”

  “How long are you staying?” He doesn’t try to hide the sting in his words. Of course, he wants to know how fast he can get rid of me.

  “I’m not sure.”

  He cocks his head, and I know what he’s thinking. Leaving would probably be the best for both of us, although I can’t help but feel there’s more to be said. Maybe it’s too soon, maybe we both need more time. But the way he‘s fucking looking at me, makes me think that no amount of time will ever make this right.

  My eye catches her as she walks back into the lounge and stands next to the couch where Ben sits. She looks up at me with those innocent baby blues, and it’s not just my cock that stirs, there’s something else. Even if he’s not saying it, I know Ben well enough to see he’s so fucking protective over this angel; he’s practically slamming his fists on his chest. I know; I’ve seen him do it with Lilly.

  “Can I get you something to drink?” She flicks her hair to the back, and it falls like a golden veil around her shoulders and down over her breasts. I can almost picture her, naked, with her pink nipples peeking through.

  Ben clears his throat, catching me off guard, “No, thanks Soph, Josh was just leaving.”

  Off course, he wants me gone, now that I’ve pulled the skeletons from the closet. He’s like a fucking cat on a hot tin roof. If it weren’t for the Jack, I probably would’ve been the same.

  I get up, take a pen lying on the cabinet to my right, and scribble my number on the back of the envelope “In case you change your mind, call me.”

  Ben nods, but I know he’s never going to call. He’s found a way to move on, and I fucking despise him for that. He is doing what he did with Lilly. He has found someone who needs him; he’s her protector, that’s how he copes with shit. For me, it’s about not letting anyone close enough for my demons to destroy them.

  Chapter 4

  Ben seems tense as he walks into the kitchen where I’m trying to get another batch of cupcakes on the go, but my brain is scattered. The only things I can think of are those sinful silver grey eyes looking right into the very depths of my soul. It’s as if there’s an invisible force field pulling me in while peeling back the layers I’ve been hiding under. It scares me as much as it excites me.

  “Hey, everything okay?” I turn to put the margarine back in the fridge, but mostly just to avoid eye contact. I know he can see how much Josh’s presence unraveled me.

  “Yeah, fine.” An awkward moment passes between us. “And you?”

  I bump the fridge closed with my hip and give him my best smile. “Yeah, why?” I try to sound absentminded, but it’s hard with those stormy eyes burned into my mind.

  Ben leans back against the cupboard, just staring out in front of him. “Look, Soph, I’m sorry he just showed up here, honestly, I had no idea he was coming. I haven’t seen him in years, and I hoped I never would.”

  “It’s fine, really, it’s nice meeting old friends of yours. You never talk about your life in Seattle.”

  He throws his head back and strokes the back of his neck. “He’s not a friend,” his voice is strained.

  “What do you mean?” I can feel my pulse climbing.

  He lets out a deep breath as he pushes himself from the cabinet. “There’s not much to tell.”

  Clearly that wasn’t the case, but it’s none of my business, so I’ll let it go. Time was what he needed, not an interrogation. Alice is going to be deeply disappointed with my sleuthing skills, or lack thereof.

  He takes bottled water from the fridge and glances back at the big white envelope lying on the coffee table, which is clearly making him anxious.

  “His family took me in after my mother died. I lived with them until I was twenty-one, then I came back here to take care of my dad.” The words rush from his lips like an unprepared speech.

  Goosebumps shoot up over my skin. This is the first time he’s talked about any of this. “Oh my God; I had no idea.”

  “It’s a part of my life I prefer to keep in the past. Josh and I have never seen eye to eye. He thinks that I ruined his life. The day I left, we had a big fight, and it didn’t end well. I packed my bags and left, and I’ve never been back.”

  He gazes at the floor, working his jaw. “I need to ask you something.” He looks up at me with soulful blue eyes.

  My mind was still trying to absorb all of this. “Of course, anything.”

  “If he ends up staying in town, please just keep your distance. He’s not the type of guy I want hanging around you,” he pleads.

  I try to swallow the lump in my throat. The one guy I’ve felt an unexplained connection with, the one guy that gives me butterflies in my stomach, turns my head into a ball of string and my legs into jelly, this is the guy I have to stay away from? Shit!

  I reluctantly agree to appease him.

  “If everything goes as I think it will, he’ll be out of here in the morning, and things can go back to the way they were.” He gives a relieved smile.

  My heart falls to the pit of my stomach. The way things were…

  Trying to carry on with a life that’s dead and gone. Taking sleeping pills to keep the nightmares away. The endless whispering behind cupped hands whenever I go into a shop in this town. Having my friends hover over me, afraid that I might break. Worrying that I might not finish my studies and start to teach next year.

  That’s the way it is. My life, or what is left of it.

  My eyes trace along the piles of books stacked everywhere, along the walls and even on the stairs, the dried herbs hanging from the wooden beam in the kitchen, the wicker baskets with balls of wool, and Nan’s knitting sitting atop it. This is it, my dreams are reduced to this, my safety zone.

  I am trapped inside of a body that I no longer know, and the fear of ever having to share it with someone else who would never know the real me, the girl underneath the scars.

  “Soph?” Ben’s voice pulls me out of my daydream.

  “Sorry, I was just thinking about what you told me. It’s so sad that you guys had to part like that.”

  He turns to look out the window, facing the front yard. “Just trust me on this, please.”

  I scratch the inside of my arm folded against my chest. I am lost for words still reveling in the nearness of him. Ben’s request seems so simple, but everything inside of me is rebelling against it.

  Will you hate me if I take a rain check for tonight?”

  “No, of course not, it’s fine.”

  “Maybe we can go to the pub on Saturday. That Indie band you like so much is playing.”

  “Cool, I’ll tell Alice.” I give him my best smile.

  Chapter 5

  ~Two days later~

  It is just after eight when we park Alice’s old Toyota underneath the last streetlight. We get out and started the short walk to the pub’s front door where a couple of tourists are standing around. Saturday nights are crazy. There are still a lot of tourists around for September, and tonight is no exception. Alice grabs my hand, pulling me inside. The beat of the drums hits us as the doors open, and we are engulfed in smoke. Colorful lights rise between the smoke from the sea of
bodies on the dance floor. The bar is on our left, and a lounge encircles the dance floor on the outskirts with private tables and rooms on the farthest end.

  This place used to be the lamest pub in town, until a few months ago when it came under new ownership. Michelle Anderson, an ex-stripper and single mom from New York bought it and changed it into the hottest place in town, complete with bouncers at the doors, and sexy girls working the floor, and Jimmy, the barman. He is an ex-MMA fighter and Michelle’s right hand. He nods at me as we pass the bar, pushing through the crowd. The last time he saw me was the weekend before the attack when I came in with Ben to help with the lighting in the bar.

  We stop at the bottom of the staircase. “I don’t see him,” she huffs. “Just wait here, I’ll be right back.” And with that, she turns and disappears leaving me standing there like a hooker on a street corner. I let my hair down hanging over my shoulders, and two layers of mascara and lip-gloss was enough, but still looked natural.

  The white, peasant mini with sweetheart neckline was a safe choice. It covered the ugly scars on my back and shoulder but it did not hide my insecurities. My fingers pull at my hem when a guy I recognize from outside appears at my side.

  “Hi, can I buy you a drink?” he asks in a heavy British accent.

  I take a step back, glancing over my shoulder for any sign of Alice, but there’s none. “Uhm, thanks, but I’m actually with someone.”

  He looks around. “Really, where is he?”

  Okay, now that I didn’t expect. I take in a breath thinking about what to say next when I feel a firm grip on my waist.

  “Is there a problem?”

  Josh’s voice washes over me like a velvet river. I turn, and my eyes trace up his black tee shirt, his neck, stubbly jaw, lips, and last but not least, his stormy grey eyes. My heart flutters as he leans over, sliding his hand around to my hip.

  “No, no problem, I just thought she was alone,” the British guy offers, but Josh doesn’t seem impressed.

  “She’s not, so I think it’s time for you to go.” His tone is clipped as he stands over the pale looking guy. He doesn’t wait for a response and turns his back on him.