“Are you okay?” his words fall into the space between us filled with an unspoken desire that I have never felt before. A small voice inside my head reminds me of Ben’s warning, but I push it aside. Whatever he’s doing to me, I can’t fight it…I don’t want to.
“I’m fine. Thanks.” My words come out in a whisper as his eyes caress my face, my lips, my heaving chest. Electricity shoots up my arm as he takes my hand in his.
“Dance with me.” His request is not a question but more of a spoken need.
I bite down on my lip as the warmth of his breath brushes against my neck, leaving sparks on my skin as I follow him through the crowd like a sheep to slaughter.
Chapter 6
~Josh~
I thought the half bottle of Jack I finished in my hotel room would take the edge off, but it didn’t. Coming here was a huge fucking mistake. I mean, what was I thinking? Ben still hasn’t forgiven me, and he probably never will. The lilac-colored envelope, bent and stained in my pocket is still my constant companion and my curse. I have to give it to him, but this isn’t a good time.
Neither one of us is ready to face the past again. I guess time doesn’t heal all wounds. The look in his eyes is still the same as that day we stood side by side at her grave. He couldn’t hide it then, and he can’t hide it now. He blamed me; he’s still blaming me. Secretly, I want him to, clearly I’m not ready to deal with forgiveness.
I’ve done what I came to do, and I should just get the fuck out of here, but…this girl, this angel is fucking with my mind. The things I want to do with her I’ll probably regret, but I just can’t help myself, those eyes, so deep and crystal-clear like Holy Water, could wash away my sins, and destroy my demons. She is the last person I need to be around, for my own good and hers. She’s so fucking sweet, and her smile is real, just like the feelings she pulls from my hollow chest.
Ben’s unspoken warning was clear. She is off limits, no exceptions. But after all we’ve been through, he should know that I don’t do hands-off very well, and this girl has something that I want, but don’t fucking deserve…to feel again.
Her eyes are big blue pools as she looks up at me, chest heaving, biting on that plump, pink bottom lip. Jack doesn’t have shit on her.
Seeing Ben has dredged shit up that I needed to fuck out of my system, and the only face I saw when I milked my cock in the shower this morning was hers. Her small hand trembles in mine as I lead her even further through the crowd, to the farthest corner of the dance floor.
I slip my arm around her back, gently pulling her closer until her heaving chest presses against mine. She trembles as I dip my head down and breathe in the flowery scent of her long, golden hair.
Walk away now, Sophie, tell me to fuck off, and walk away before I won’t let you. I slip my fingers around her tiny waist and let my thumb graze on the side of her back, just below her full breast.
My lips brush against her forehead, and I can feel her tense in my arms. “Why can’t I stop thinking about you?”
Her voice quivers as her full pink lips part slightly. “You’ve had too much to drink.”
She’s right, I numb the pain, except this time, I’m feeling every.fucking.thing.
“I thought it would help to get my mind off of you.”
Her eyes linger on my mouth as her tongue wets her bottom lip. “Did it?”
Wrong response, sweetheart. Being this close to her, breathing in the smell of her hair, her skin, makes me want to break open this fucking cocoon of innocence and get to know the angel inside.
For the first time I’ve met someone in whose presence my guilt creeps back into the shadows. There, it waits, to torture me when I’m alone with my thoughts.
“What do you think?” I press my eyes closed and push the voice telling me I’m going to fuck this up to the back of my head. My fingers slide between her heaving breasts, down her stomach to the edge of her dress, grazing against her naked thigh, I will her to stop me now.
“I…I, don’t know.” She speaks under her breath as her head turns, her eyes lift to meet mine. She gasps as I swing her around quickly and then pull her back against me with my arm around her waist.
A small moan escapes her lips as her fingers clench against the side of my pants, sending my cock into full salute.
“Why did you come here? She says in a soft voice as her head turns, her eyes lift to meet mine.
“You are very direct, Miss Blake.” My breath brushes against the side of her face.
“What do you do beside drive for two hours to deliver an envelope with documents?” A dimple appears on her cheek, and I have to restrain myself from lifting my hand and caressing her face. She has a way about her that makes me see nobody else but her. It’s easy to see why Ben is so fucking protective.
“I keep an eye on the family business. “How about you, what do you do when you’re not killing cupcakes?”
The corners of her mouth pull up, and that cute dimple makes an appearance again. “I’m studying to be a teacher.”
My heart clenches as a dark shadow passes behind her eyes. “If I had teachers like you, I might have actually enjoyed school.”
She nods slowly as the darkness behind her eyes fades away. “I take it you were a stubborn child.”
I drag my eyes away from her lips, but God I want to kiss her right now. “I prefer misunderstood.”
She nods slowly, as if she understands the words I’m not saying. With her gaze set on me, my hand lifts to cup her chin, the crowd disappears, and before I know it, my lips press against hers.
Chapter 7
Liquid fire surges through my veins as his lips crush mine. There’s a moment of hesitation before my lips start to move with his, but when they do, it’s magical. The butterflies in my stomach are frantically flapping their wings against my ribcage, my brain is a ball of string, and my body is buzzing under his touch.
It is as if he pulls every unspoken coveted desire from my soul. His lips dripping with promises that leave me feverish. Everything about this is so crazy. I do not know anything about this alluring stranger, except Ben’s warning. The need building inside of me is drowning out the small voice telling me to stop.
I groan in his mouth as his hands glide down the sides of my waist, then come to rest on my hips. My lips move with his then he pulls away, leaving my skin on fire under his touch. Suddenly everything around us disappears.
I can feel his erection pressing against my hip as he captures my mouth again, this time with an all-consuming urgency, which leaves me breathless. Nothing could have prepared me for this kiss, and then, too soon and without warning, he pulls away leaving me panting, in a haze of lust.
Alice’s voice slices through the neon smoke and pulls me out of my haze. “Ben, no, WAIT!”
“Get your fucking paws off her!” Ben’s voice booms behind Josh as he pulls him back by his shoulder. Josh falls back, and before he can turn Ben throws the first punch.
Josh staggers into the crowd, wiping his mouth. “You don’t want to do this, Slone.”
Ben stands straight, arms hanging on his side, “Mph, I’ve waited long enough, I don’t care who the fuck you are in Seattle, but here you’re just another guy getting fucked up because you can’t keep your hands to yourself.”
Josh cracks his neck. “I don’t have to explain myself to you.”
“When you force yourself on my friend…then you do.” Ben slams into Josh, pushing him into the crowd that scattered like marbles.
“Ben, stop it!” I yell, but it is no use.
Suddenly Luke and a couple of other guys jump in and try to pull them apart. Ben takes a swing again, but Jimmy, the barman who doubled as a bouncer, grabs his hand and pulls him away.
“Don’t you ever touch her again or I swear to God…” Ben yells out as they hold him back.
Before I know what I’m doing, I am kneeling by Josh’s side. There’s a small cut on his lip. He look
s up at me. “What are you doing?” he asks under his racing breath.
I grab a few serviettes from a nearby table and push them into his hand. “Helping you.”
“Why?”
I look up and find Alice staring at me with an expression of disbelief written all over her face. She shakes her head, her eyes teary. I open my mouth to speak, but she turns and walks away before I can say anything.
“Alice, wait—“I watch as she jogs after Ben who stomps off with Luke by his side.
When I turn back, Josh’s eyes are already on me. Its dark grey and unreadable, like him. “Do you need a ride home?”
“Shit!”My hands fly to my mouth.
He gets up, dusting his pants off. “Don’t you trust me?”
I feel like I should be running after Alice and Ben, they’re my friends, and this is all my fault.
“Should I?” I fold my arms.
“Probably not.”He walks to the bar and orders a Jack on the rocks.
Oh my God, what have I done? I push my fingers through my hair. He throws the whiskey back and puts the glass on the counter with a few dollars, and walks towards me.
“It’s settled then.” He grabs my hand as he walks past.
“What do you mean?” I stutter as he pulls me through the crowd as if he’s just bought me. My insides pull as he looks back at me.
“That you shouldn’t trust me.”
There’s a small crowd outside on the pavement, but otherwise the street is quiet. My knees buckle underneath me as he holds onto my hand. We stop next to a black Camaro, and he opens the door looking at me like the big bad wolf.
“It’s okay, I’ll behave, I promise.” He smiles.
I slide into the black leather seat, and he shuts the door. Suddenly I am cocooned in the familiar smell of spicy aftershave, mint and whiskey that is Josh. The driver’s door opens, and he gets in. He looks over at me and without warning leans across and pulls the safety belt over me. Being this near to him sends a rush of heat through my body. It isn’t a good idea, but then nothing I’ve done tonight was.
Too soon, we pull up in front of the house. My eyes instinctively dart around for Ben’s truck but it isn’t there. My insides quiver as he parks in front of the house and kills the engine.
“Did you want something to drink? “I push my hair behind my ear and look over at him.
“I think I need something stronger to take the edge off, besides you’re one hot mess, sweetheart.” He drew his tongue over his bottom lip.
I can feel heat spreading down into my panties. This is the best mistake I’ve ever made. I feel completely out of my depth, drowning in him, but I’ve never felt this good. My breath hitches as his hand cups my face then leans over and kisses me on my forehead, leaving me wanting more of him. He takes my phone from my hand.
“Here’s my number, call me when you’re in Seattle.”
I nod, unable to form any words, “Thanks.” The fresh air that streams into the car as he opens the door momentarily pulls me out of my daze.
“It was nice meeting you, Sophie Blake, take care of yourself.”
He turns around and gets in his car, not looking back as he drives off, and just like that, he’s gone. I lock the door behind me and watch the headlights of his car through the lounge windows. For the next ten seconds I am drifting on a cloud, heart pounding, and lips hurting missing his…what have I done?
My phone buzzes; it’s Alice.
“Where are you?” Her voice sounds cold.
“Home.”
“How did you…”
I cut her off, “Josh.”
There’s a moment’s silence. “How long have you known?” she says through sobs.
It’s hard to concentrate still feeling his touch against my skin. “What are you talking about?”
“He’s in love with you, Soph! Did you see him tonight? He went on like a mad man trying to defend you!”
Oh my God. A dull pain shoots through my skull. “No, it’s not what you think, I promise you, there’s nothing between us, never was and never will be.” I choke on my own words. “My God, he’s my friend—I—I don’t feel that way about him.”
She snorts, “Well, clearly he doesn’t feel the same way. You know how I feel about him, and—I—just…”
I push my hair from my face, pacing back and forth. “No, Al, listen to me, this is not about me, Ben told me shit about him and Josh. I mean, they hate each other, he asked me to stay away from Josh because of that, and I couldn’t…”
She lets out a slow sigh, sniffling. “Exactly, he shares everything with you. I don’t know-“
“Al, please, don’t let them come between us, please. I know how you feel about him but promise you, I’ve never been attracted to Ben, never will be, my God, he’s nice but I just don’t feel that way. Besides, if I did, why would I kiss Josh?”
The line goes quiet for a while before she answers. “I suppose you’re right.”
“Look, just please don’t be upset with me, I swear to you there’s never been one single second of attraction between us, he’s just in a weird place and with Josh here, it’s all freaking exploding, and it’s affecting all of us.”
“What were you thinking?”
I feel my insides cringe. “I don’t know what to say Al. I can’t explain any of this.”
She sniffs, “I have to go, Ben’s in the bathroom getting cleaned up.”
“Are we good?”
“Yeah,” she mumbles.
“Alice, please tell him…I’m sorry.”
Chapter 8
~Josh~
I had to use all my strength not to take her into the house and fuck her senseless, fuck away the pain and desires wreaking fucking havoc inside of me. When I got in my car with that fucking envelope this was the last thing I expected to find. I was a fucking emotional mess. I never cried after Lilly or Mama, couldn’t, I fucking wanted to, but there was too much hate inside of me for tears.
I knew what to expect from Ben, same shit, I can deal with that, but her, she was the fucking wildcard in the deck shuffled by the devil himself. I have to get the fuck out of here, before I turn around and go back to her. She needs to hate me; she needs to believe every fucking thing Ben tells her.
The redhead watching me at the end of the bar could be a good distraction, one I desperately needed. Those baby blues needed someone like Ben, someone who has his fucking shit sorted.
She saunters over and sits next to me at the bar. Two seconds later the barman places a martini on a napkin in front of her. “Enjoy boss,” he says in a burly voice.
She lifts her finger. “Thanks Les, and one for this gentleman over here.”
I put my Jack down and look out in front of me. “Thanks, but I’m fine.” She lifts a brow and purses her lips. I grab her hand just before it reaches my crotch.
“Sorry darling, I’m not in the mood.” I close my hand over hers and pull it away.
The sides of her mouth pull up. “Well if that’s the only obstacle, it’s an easy one to fix.” Her hand lingers on my thigh, and someone takes the seat next to me.
“What the fuck are you still doing here?” I look up to see Ben next to me, his eyes glued to her hand on my leg. As always, he only gets to see the fuck-ups.
She sits back, removes her hand, and takes up her glass. “Ben, what a nice surprise to see you here.”
He seems on edge but smiles politely. “Hi.”
“And how’s your friend, the cute little one with the blue eyes?” She glares at me while speaking to Ben.
Was she talking about Sophie? His shoulders tense up as he clears his throat before answering.
“She’s good.”
“Well I’m glad to hear. Please let me know if there’s anything I can do, poor girl, I can’t imagine what she’s been through.” She finishes her drink and stands up.
“I hope you boys come back soon.” Her hand traces across my shoulder
s as she walks past.
“You need to fucking go, I don’t want your family’s money, I can’t…” he takes a deep breath, “nothing’s changed, you’re still the selfish, egotistical motherfucker too proud to man up to your mistakes.” I can see the rage flicker up behind his eyes.
I take a sip of Jack and pull out my wallet. I am not in the mood for Ben’s lectures, but he is going to give me one, anyways.
No matter what I say it isn’t going to change what has happened between us, nothing will. The black hole between us is growing by the second.
“You gonna tell me what she’s talking about?” My eye catches the redhead eyeing me from the other side of the bar, and Ben sees it too. He huffs and takes a sip of his beer.
“It’s none of your fucking business. Now get in your fancy car and go back home. I’m sure there’s enough pussy to keep you occupied.”
Of course, he is so fucking protective of that blue-eyed angel. I lower my hand over the glass and dip the two fingers carrying her sweet scent into the Jack then suck it off, and my cock jumps into full salute. I have a new demon, disguised as an angel, one I don’t want to run from.
“Look, I’m out of here tomorrow. I just came to deliver the documents. I know you don’t believe me, so that doesn’t change anything between us.”
He turns his head away from me. After a long pause, he lowers his head and takes a deep breath. “She was attacked by a dog nearly a year ago, there, now you know, now get the fuck out of here.”
He drifts off for a moment. “You keep your fucking hands off her, Roxwell, or I swear to God this time, I won’t hesitate.”
I can’t imagine something that horrific happening to this girl. Now pieces of the puzzle are coming together. I recognized the same look in her eye that I see in myself. Fear. She’s been through enough, and I ain’t going to make it better.
I’m a fucked up mess. If I’d known this, I wouldn’t have pulled that stunt on the dance floor tonight. Ben’s right, I should leave.
Hurricane Butterfly Page 3