After a spritz of perfume and putting on some earrings, I gave up the act and decided not to go.
I fell on my bed with an “umph,” tapping my fingers on my mattress. At eight-thirty, I still hadn’t moved. There really was no reason for me to go. I could accost Wreck at school on Monday. Or not at all. This meeting didn’t have to happen. We’d moved through this life with minor interaction so far. He didn’t avoid me, but he didn’t seek me out. We had AP Calculus last year. We sat next to each other every day and it never seemed to matter.
Why did it feel like it mattered now?
I kicked my wedges off and went downstairs to grab a snack. Illa had been gone by the time I made it home, and she hadn’t answered her phone when I called. I felt sick in my own home. The enormous mansion atop this canyon had always felt purposely empty. I no longer asked where my parents were. No longer concerned myself with their answers.
“Why are you all dressed up?”
I jumped out of my bones, gasping so hard I had a hard time breathing. My father stood by the back entrance to the kitchen, briefcase in hand, tie undone, dress shirt untucked. “Dad,” I huffed, sagging against the counter.
He remained still, his frosty blue eyes pinned on me, lips pressed firmly together. His head tilted to the side fractionally, studying me. I didn’t know what to do other than stare back.
“Going out?” he finally asked.
“I was thinking about it.”
“With who?”
I thought his question was odd. He did his best to ostracize me from the rest of the world, he knew I had no one to go out and see. He hadn’t asked where, but who, like he already knew the answer. I didn’t understand why my heart was pounding. This was my father. I begged for attention, he ignored me, I lost my first love, and he didn’t mind the breaks in my heart. Since he’d come between Tristan and I, I’d stopped fighting our relationship and accepted that there wasn’t one.
“The Charming Knights are throwing a party for their new captain.”
For some reason, he smirked, nodding as he indulged me. “Where’s the party?”
I wasn’t going to say Wreck’s name. I refused. I opened the fridge. “Illa made some chicken fajita bowls. Want me to heat you up one?”
“No. I had a dinner meeting tonight with Owen Wreckmond.”
My face fell, staring at the glass bottles of sparkling mineral water. “Oh? How’s he doing?” They were close business partners. It had been a while since I’d seen Mr. Wreckmond personally.
“Well.”
I heard him from behind me now. I pulled out a container and pulled the calorie sticker in Illa’s handwriting off and tossed it in the bin, opening the door to the microwave.
“You’re to go to that party tonight. You’re to see the Wreckmond’s boy. If anything negative comes back to me one more time with your or his name in it, I will fire Illa and strip her of her retirement. If I hear positive things about you and Cage, then I’ll add a thousand dollars to her retirement fund for every good thing I hear. If I see it, that’s two thousand. If I love it, that’s ten thousand. If it makes me happy, Illa will be living the high life for the rest of hers. If you screw this up, she will rot, Hallie. Do I make myself clear?”
I clenched my shaking hand into a fist. I had no weak spots in my life. But Illa. She was my best friend, my only shining spot in this world. I imagined her poor, with no medical insurance, no money. She’d lose her house, become homeless. Father would make it so she never worked again. She would be hungry, alone, so far from the strong constant in my life. I couldn’t let that happen. I didn’t even want to consider fighting for fear he’d do it.
“Yes,” I whispered, meeting his cold furious eyes.
He smiled, but his eyes didn’t brighten. “1,000 dollars will be added to her retirement fund before midnight. Let’s shoot for two next time, yes?” He leaned in and kissed my cheek, his hot breath on my ear as he muttered one more threat. “You’ll change your shirt before you leave. You still have a reputation to uphold.”
I ran to the sink and puked. I sagged to the floor and brought my knees to my chest, eyes blurred from my angry hot tears. Only monsters used the people you loved as leverage. And in my case, there had only been two, and my father had done his best to hold them over my head. What would happen when I had children? Would he use them as leverage too? The man I ended up with? If my father had a say—and he would—it wouldn’t be someone I loved. It would be someone he chose.
Wreck.
He’d gone by that name since first year private school. I’d accepted his nickname for what it was, his truth.
Wreck and I didn’t make sense. Finding him attractive physically didn’t mean I would emotionally. I had never looked at him that way. Not like with Tristan. He’d given me a taste of freedom, made me look at the world differently, which made me know myself. That was love. Wreck never would be.
When I heard a door close from somewhere in the mansion, I got to my feet and tossed my food. I wasn’t hungry anymore. I ran upstairs and pulled a light black sweater from its hanger and put it over my top. Defying my father in private felt like a small victory.
“Dad?” I called in the hall outside his office, my voice wobbly.
“Come in.”
I pushed his office door open to find him on the phone. “Hold on.” He raised his eyebrows at me.
“Can I take the CTS?” My first car was still parked in the garage collecting figurative dust.
“What’s wrong with the Audi?” he asked coolly.
“It’s out of gas.”
His eyes tightened at my lie. “Let’s try this again.” He hung up his call without warning the caller. “What’s wrong with the Audi?”
“No one else at school has one. If I show up in that, they’ll know who I am immediately.”
“Why is that any of your concern? They’re going to know who you are when you go inside.”
I just wanted to do what he wanted in what I wanted to do it in. “Please?” I begged, despising my breaking voice.
His tightened eyes became slits. “There’s no need to be upset, Hallie. It does you little good. Take the Audi. You need to get used to being set apart. You are apart. Go.”
I didn’t have to ask to know that the CTS would be gone tomorrow. Within its absence, I learned what I wanted to know coming into his office tonight. If I loved something, he would ruin it. If I loved nothing, I’d have everything.
Wreck’s mansion was across the canyon, overlooking the entire city. I couldn’t see the city from my mansion, and instead overlooked the back of the canyon and its beautiful crags. I preferred it that way.
The towering glass and stone structure stood atop the hill like a gilded king, watching the city from narrowed suspicious eyes. The curving turnabout driveway was crammed with luxury vehicles. And just like I assumed, everyone outside stopped and looked at my car when I drove through the open gates.
I parked near the security station and got out, my wedges sounding my steps on the stone driveway. I didn’t look at anyone. Kept my eyes straight. It wasn’t gossip to me anymore. It was like everyone knew something that I didn’t, and I was the unaware victim walking toward her villain.
Every senior at Charming High was here. I eased by couples making out in the gigantic living room, which seemed to be the make out spot judging by all the tongues I saw. I tried the game room, the kitchen, the theatre room, and then decided to go out back. The Wreckmond’s backyard was the size of ten football fields. The Olympic sized pool was glowing turquoise. There seemed to be a lot of commotion on the basketball court. I followed the ruckus to find the guys playing a game.
I saw Ryder’s ice-blond hair and knew Wreck had to be close by. I searched the people sitting on the grass watching to finally spot him lying on his back, body sprawled out like a crime scene. Eyes closed, chest barely moving, still wearing what he wore to school today. But his feet were bare.
Seeing him felt like seeing a secret I hadn�
�t known my father had been keeping.
I ignored the eyes on me and went over to him. I settled beside him with my legs crossed and my back to his face, so I didn’t have to see his eyes. I watched the football team play basketball. Ryder threw a shot and made it, celebrating silently with a smug grin as his teammates cheered.
Kellen was nowhere to be found.
My heart pounded. I didn’t, wouldn’t, ask. I swallowed the bile that came up and hugged myself. I didn’t want to know.
I didn’t want to fucking know where Kellen was. It was the final straw in this fight I’d been warring with myself. There was no winning.
No way out.
“Can we talk?” came Wreck’s deep voice from behind me.
I nodded, watching his friends play.
“I wanted to apologize for my behavior today.”
I closed my eyes against the tears. Dad got to him too. I ducked my head between my knees.
“That was incredibly rude of me.” I heard him sit up. “Look at me.”
I shook my head.
“Hallie, please. I have to do it. Please,” he begged.
I lifted my head and looked at him. Not because I wanted to. But because Wreck had begged me. Me. His eyes were bloodshot and there were popped vessels in his left eye. His throat was sporting a deep black bruise in the shape of a collar and his face looked pale. He looked like he’d been in one hell of a fight, but hadn’t actually gotten hit. And if I looked closely, the bruise closer to his ears looked like finger impressions.
He was off. Wild, untamed.
I scooted away from him. “Who did that to you?” I could hardly look at him.
He looked around to see if anyone was listening. “Football.”
“Bullshit. I was there, Wreck. You had a helmet on and you got hit on your side. Not your neck.”
“It’s from my practice jersey.” He tried to meet my eyes. “Do you forgive me for my behavior?”
“Why do you care about whether I forgive you?” I scooted away further. “Did my dad do that to you?” Tears fell down my face.
He looked around again, rabidly. “Smile, please.” When I didn’t do it, he hissed under his breath and reached for me, but thought better of touching me, and put his fist in his lap. “Smile before he kills me. Please, Hallie.”
I didn’t know what he was talking about, but I gave him what he asked for. I smiled with tears on my face. It was the fakest heaviest smile of my life.
“You’ve got to keep that smile on your face all night, okay? On Monday, we can go back to living our lives, but tonight, you’ve got to pretend. Okay?” he stressed, eyes so intent and untamed I felt my stomach drop. “Smile all night. Laugh. Make them think we’re the best of friends.”
I couldn’t ignore him on Monday. He could ignore me, but I had to keep giving my father what he wanted. This was as much for Wreck as it was for Illa. “I forgive you, Wreck.”
“Let’s hug.” He tried to stand, falling over a little and clutching at his head for a moment before standing upright.
I stood on wobbly, unsure legs. He opened his arms with a forced smile. The sight of him smiling while he was so obviously in pain was our lives in one heartbroken summed up moment.
I walked into his arms and wrapped my arms around his waist. My head came to rest on his chest perfectly. I squeezed him hard, so hard I heard him groan, but I didn’t lessen my hold. I held him because for the first time in my entire life I wanted to hold on to something without my father tearing it away from me. He’d never take Wreck from me. Because I didn’t want Wreck. Just his comfort. Father cared little for comfort.
Wreck’s arms held me around my shoulders and his face buried in my neck. His warm breath moistened my shoulder. The longer we stood that way, the closer we got. The tighter our holds became. His shirt smelled like cologne and his sweat, this unique tangy rich scent. As we stood there, someone turned the outside speakers on, and a new song came on.
I loved this song.
I’d never tell anyone.
“How long are you staying?” he muttered in the crook of my neck.
Until Illa’s rich and happy. “All night?” I checked.
“You stay until you want to.” He released me, and I saw his shoulders sag. He bent to pick up his phone. “I’m going to get a drink.”
I followed. He turned around to stare down at me but seemed to accept my presence. I grabbed hold of his elbow and held on as he cut across the lawn, putting us close to Trudy and her gang. They were sitting on the edge of the pool in their bathing suits, feet in the water, chests overflowing their tops. They looked like women. Sexy rich women who had everything they wanted. They’d fall in love, I’m sure it didn’t matter with who, and keep what they loved.
“Did you really buy her those sandals?”
He looked at me blankly. “What are you talking about?”
“Trudy Lowell. She said you bought her a pair of Valentino sandals. Didn’t sound like something you’d do.”
Recognition filled his bloodshot eyes. “Yeah, I did actually.”
“Hmm.”
“Aren’t you going to ask me why?”
I thought about it. Didn’t matter why. He had, which was what she’d wanted me to know. “No.”
“Can I tell you anyway? It’s a funny story.” He looked at his arm and then at me, for what? Permission? He wanted my permission to release me? What the hell was going on with him? I let him go and crossed my arms around myself. “Maybe you can try that laughing like I’m incredibly hilarious I’m making you so happy everything’s cool between us thing I mentioned earlier.”
I watched him get a beer from the fridge on the deck. It had an outdoor grill and an awning overhead to protect the electrical items from the elements. The picnic tables were large enough to sit ten comfortably.
Were we ever really comfortable?
“I guess you have to tell me now.”
“She was giving me head a couple months ago on Sparrow Cliff. We hang out up there,” he explained emptily, pausing to twist his beer top and taking a long swallow. The entire time, his eyes were on mine. “And instead of swallowing my load like a real lady, she choked, and I ended up jizzing all over her shoes. She cared more about her shoes than anything else. Wouldn’t shut the fuck up about them, so I bought her a new pair. Laugh.”
I slapped my knee like that was the funniest story I’d ever heard, which made him smile. His smile was genuine though. There was a small twinkle amidst the popped blood vessels. My laugh garnered the attention of others. I felt like an absolute idiot, especially since I found his story disgusting. The only person I’d ever done anything with was Tristan.
“Tell me a story,” he said, giving me a wink that was more pleased than anything else. “Make me laugh. I never laugh, so that ought to draw some attention.”
I tried to think if I’d ever seen him laugh and couldn’t remember if I had. Then again, that was probably the first time he’d heard me laugh as well.
“I get really bad cramps on my period. I have to take birth control to calm them.”
He gawked at me. “Gross.”
I giggled at his disgusted expression. “And a story with semen and Valentino isn’t?”
He smirked. “That’s my life.”
I scrunched up my nose and shifted from one foot to the other. “You didn’t laugh.”
“You didn’t make me.”
Wreck was back. The dare in his eyes, the prick in a navy Hugo Boss dress shirt. The same douche who flipped me off on the football field. I rose my fist and gave him the finger right in his face, my pale pink nail facing the middle of his forehead.
He grinned before he could help himself, transforming his face from hard man to youthful boy. It was odd to go backward, but he did. From mature to boyish in seconds. His teeth were unbearably straight and perfect flawless white. His eyes glimmered, and I never realized how blue his eyes were before. In the turquois glowing off the pool, they looked royal blue. His las
hes were long, goldish brownish, like his hair.
I pressed my finger to his face and then I put my palm on his face, shoving him away as he ducked out of my assault. He didn’t laugh, but I’d let his smile slide. It was pretty enough to get its own way right now.
He took another drink of his beer and nodded at it. “You want one? If not, there’s other choices in the kitchen?”
“I’ve never had a beer. My father would hate it if I had one.” I bit my lip and swallowed down my fear. “I’ll have a diet soda if you have one?”
He stepped closer to me and bent his head, putting his eyes closer to me. I could smell the beer on his warm breath and his lips were perfectly lined up with mine. But this wasn’t about our lips. This was about our eyes. They bored into the other. He looked like he was sifting through things, lifting up items and searching for something only he knew was there.
“I have whatever you want, Hallie. Go sit down by the guys. I’ll bring it to you. You want anything else?”
Wreck was gone again. Cage was back. I sighed. “No. A soda’s fine.” I hadn’t eaten anything at all today, maybe that’s why I felt like I was falling down.
When he saw my hesitation, he blew an impatient breath out of his nose. “What do you want? Tell me.”
“I can get—”
“Hallie.”
“I’m hungry.”
He nodded in relief. “Someone ordered pizza. That cool?”
“Yes. Thank you, Wreck.” I smiled softly at him.
He just looked sad. His eyes were bleeding red, the bruises around his throat were deepening in the darkness. The sight of them knocked the hunger from my system, but I ignored it and parted ways with him, walking around the pool, past the eyes, and back over to the basketball court where a new game had started. Out of all the guys, I liked Ryder the most. He didn’t care about me whatsoever, maybe that’s why.
He sat on the grass sidelines, sweat dripping down his incredible body. I may have snuck a peek at his abs. Sweat dampened his ice-blond hair and his pale face was flushed a deep red. He didn’t acknowledge me when I sat beside him. But he didn’t get up and run away either.
Wrecked_A Novel Page 6