by KT Fisher
“Come on up.” She says as she buzzes me through. The door automatically locks behind me and I enter the code to enter the next door. This one I already know, but the combination lock outside gets changed all the time. It’s one of Franky’s rules and with Devlin being so protective of Tasha, he also loves the safety of this place.
I climb the wooden stairs, which is lit by low lighting as soon as I opened the door. As I near the door, it’s pulled open and Tasha pops her head around, smiling down at me as I meet her at the top.
“Hey hun.” She greets, and closes the door behind me. “You want a drink?”
“Tea please.” I answer, taking off my bag and coat and placing them on the sofa beside me.
“Good choice.” She points towards me. “Seeing as I’ve already made us a cup each.”
I thank her as she places my cup on the coffee table next to me. “So where’s Drew?”
“No idea, but I do have a theory.” Her eyebrows rise, as she takes a seat on the other end of the sofa.
“Me too.” I smile, Sketch comes to my mind straight away. “You really think she’s with him?”
“Possibly.” She nods. “But who knows when it comes to Drew.”
And we both laugh, but then a silence spreads and I bite down on my lip as I struggle to begin this.
“Are you doing ok?” Tasha asks. “You worried me a little when I read your text.”
I look up to her and her eyebrows are no longer risen in mystery, but lowered and drawn in concern.
“You had a secret, didn’t you?” I ask quietly and Tasha looks taken back. A look of shock takes over her expression and her back straightens.
“A secret?” She asks.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to drag it all up.” Shit, the last thing I wanted to do was upset her.
“No its fine hun.” She sits closer, her eyes search me. “Yes I did have a secret I brought back from The Devils, why do you ask?”
I take a deep breath. “Because I have one of my own.”
A look of alarm hits Tasha, she doesn’t say anything, so I continue.
“I figured it was best to come to you and hopefully get some help.”
“Of course!” Tasha quickly answers, placing a caring hand on my knee. “You can tell me anything.”
“You won’t tell anyone?” I ask quietly.
Tasha slowly nods. “Not unless you want me to.”
I take a sip of the hot tea, my hands shake as I place it back down on the table. I gather all my courage as I face Tasha again. I need to do this.
“When we were at The Devils compound, you and Lauren did everything to protect me and I really love you both for it.” I start and I can already feel the emotion building and I see it shining in Tahsa’s eyes.
“And we would do it again.” She smiles.
“I know.” I nod. “But, can you remember when Demon and his guards came in, and Demon took me away? Well he took me to his room.” Tasha’s hand squeezes my knee and I realise that a few tears have escaped and are running down my cheeks. “He kept stroking my hair, petting me like an animal as he washed me. He actually bathed me, can you believe that?” I ask, looking up at Tasha.
She shakes her head, not saying a word. I remove my gaze from her so I can say what I need to. This is the first time I’ve spoken about this, the images and memories come back clearly as though it was only yesterday.
“He wrapped me in a towel and spoke to me as I dried.” A little laughter escapes me. “He had the nerve to speak about my family, wanted to know how I was treated at home but Demon was adamant that nobody would take care of me like he could. I knew he was wrong, of course I did, but I wasn’t going to tell him that.”
I wipe away my tears as more of them wet my face.
“Elise.” Tasha whispers, squeezing my knee again. “You don’t have to.”
But I know I need to and I know Tasha wants to know. She wants to help me because she’s always helped me. She didn’t even know who I was when I was thrown into that disgusting, dark room but that didn’t stop her and Lauren immediately deciding to look after me and care for me. But even they couldn’t stop what Demon wanted to do to me, what he did to me.
“I need to tell you.” I look into her eyes.
“Ok.” Tasha nods, taking my hand in hers.
“As I sat in that bath, I knew what was going to happen but I tried to ignore it. But when he removed my towel and told me to stand, it sunk in what was about to happen. I stood in the middle of his room while he circled me, he would touch me in certain places and toy with me but I couldn’t do anything. What was I supposed to do? I saw yours and Laurens faces when you fought against him, I couldn’t do that. It’s not me.” I take a shaky breath, trying to grab a hold of myself before I carry on. Tasha’s hand holding onto mine gives me the strength I need. “Eventually his hands started to wander and I was terrified.”
My tears fall faster and Tasha let’s go of my hand and wraps me in her arms. “Oh Lissy.” She kisses my forehead. “Please tell me he didn’t?”
I look up at her as she cradles me. “I was a virgin Tash, he took it all away from me.”
“Oh honey.” Tasha holds me tightly.
“He knew, Demon said he didn’t but when he was inside of me he looked down at me, almost in awe. He asked me if I’ve ever had sex before and I said no, I had to tell him the truth because he could tell. He smiled down at me and thanked me as he took my virginity. He didn’t care that I was crying, or that I had my eyes closed. I tried to zone out but I couldn’t.”
I’ve gone way past being able to hold back my tears now and to be honest, I don’t care. Tasha holds me, trying to comfort me as I let it all out. As much as it hurts, this feels good. It feels right.
“I can’t believe you haven’t said anything before.” She whispers when my crying has calmed a little. “You’ve carried this on your own for so long.”
“I didn’t want to upset you or Lauren.” I say between my sniffling.
Tasha holds me back at arm’s length, her frown deep and upsetting. “Why would this have upset us?”
“You tried to protect me, I didn’t want you to know that he had already gotten to me.” I look down at my hands.
Tasha sighs. “Look, I kept my own secret. Those bastards gave me scars but it was Demon who liked to give me his own, private lashings. I was ashamed of my body, I couldn’t let Devlin look at me and it nearly ended our relationship before it even began.”
I knew about her scars, but I didn’t know it was that bad.
“You shouldn’t have kept this to yourself though Elise. We’re all here to help you. Don’t worry about upsetting me and Lauren, we wanted to keep you safe. I’m just happier knowing the fucker is dead.”
I nod in reply. “I just thought, if you found out what he had done, you and Lauren would be upset you didn’t save me.”
I couldn’t hurt them like that, even now I’m struggling to tell her.
Tasha sends me a smile. “You were protecting us as much as we were you but you shouldn’t have worried Elise. We looked out for you and yes, it would have upset us finding out what Demon did, but only on your behalf. Not for our own selfish reasons.”
“I know that now.” I smile. “But back then, in that place, I couldn’t let you down.”
Tasha shakes her head. “You never could. We just didn’t want you to go through what we experienced at the hands of the Devils.”
Glancing over at my cup of tea, I add the last part. “I don’t know what to do about Bomber.”
“What do you mean?” She frowns.
“He thinks I’m a virgin, but the truth is every time he gets close, Demon is there.” I reach for my tea and take a much needed drink.
“You need to tell him.” She simply answers. “And you already knew this.”
I did, but I had hoped Tasha would give me a solution. So I nod as I swallow my drink.
“The secret is getting on top of you isn’t it?” She asks.
“It’s because you love him.” Tasha announces and it shocks me. I choke on my tea and Tasha laughs. “You think I didn’t know?”
“No, it’s just.” I come to a stop, not knowing what to say.
“You’re not the only one who knows things, Elise.” She slightly laughs.
My cheeks burn. “It’s just, Bomber is from my past. Before the Devils and everything that happened and I don’t want him to know I’m damaged.”
Suddenly, Tasha is sat up straight again. “You’re not damaged!”
“Tasha.” I argue, but she interrupts me.
“No, I won’t hear it. Elise you aren’t damaged and you won’t let Demon torture you from the grave. Bomber loves you as much as I know you do him. He won’t think you’re damaged, he will understand and be as pissed as I am because you kept it to yourself for so long.” She gives me a pointed look.
“Do you think I should tell the girls?” I ask her.
“It’s up to you hun, I can’t tell you that.” She smiles. “But, I do know from experience that when you tell the people closest to you who need to know, you feel a shit load better.”
“I don’t want my parents knowing.” I add quickly. “I’ll tell the girls, and Bomber but I can’t have my mum and dad knowing what I went through.”
“That’s fair enough.” She agrees, and we finish our tea. Tasha keeps comforting me, letting me know she’s always here for me.
“So, how are you and Drew liking living here?” I ask, feeling myself calm as the subject is changed.
“Great.” She smiles, but I notice an edge to her.
“What’s up?” I ask. “She’s not bringing too many men back, is she?” I laugh.
“Actually, I’m moving out.” She informs me, her face looking so guilty.
“You’re moving with Devlin?” I ask, feeling so happy for her.
“Devlin and I found the perfect house and it’s ready to move in as soon as we are, but I feel bad and I can’t bring myself to tell Drew.” She frowns. “Ignore me, my worries are nowhere close to yours.”
I give her a glare of my own. “Drew will be fine, you’re worrying over nothing.”
“Maybe.” She wonders. “But the truth is, I love living here. I’ve never moved in with a man, it’s always been my dream to have the happily ever after but it’s not me. I will ruin it.”
“Our life is hardly a happily ever after situation.” I laugh. “You love Dev, nothing will go wrong. You’re stressing too much.”
I know about Natasha’s past and I can understand why she doubts herself and her new life with Devlin, but she’s not who she used to be and I spend the rest of my time demanding that she believe me. We don’t talk about Demon again, but arrange as to when I should tell the girls and how I should handle it with Bomber. But no matter what Tasha says, I can’t stop worrying as to what Bomber will think.
Chapter Twelve
Elise
I look at myself in the mirror, angling my body to look at my chosen outfit from all sides. I’m going out for a meal with Bomber and I don’t want to look too dressed up but I’m going to try and deliver some bad news, so I want to look nice and hopefully it will soften the blow. He asked to take me out for a meal, and I accepted thinking that I could tell him my secret afterwards. As I look at my black wet look leggings and burgundy, floaty blouse I throw my purse down on the bed however, it only bounces and falls to the floor and I sigh in defeat. Who am I kidding? It doesn’t matter what I wear or how I say this, it’s going to hurt Bomber as much as it does me. I just hope it doesn’t change the way he feels about me, now that I’ve let him in I don’t think I could go through losing him again.
My phone begins to ring on my bed and I’m surprised to see Tasha’s name and not Bombers.
“Hello?” I answer.
“Hey.” Tasha greets me. “How you feeling?”
“Like shit.” I heavily sit on the edge of my bed.
“It will fine babe, Bomber loves you. I know that for sure.” She tries to assure me but it’s no use, she can’t see that I’ve gone past believing.
“Maybe.”
“Have a nice night and then try to tell him the truth. It will work out I promise.” Tasha tries to soothe me from her side of the call. “Look, the girls’ night is all planned and I will be beside you the whole way, you just have to do this one on your own. I know it’s hard, but you will thank me later. I promise.”
I look up to the ceiling, begging myself not to cry. “Can you come with me?”
She laughs quietly. “This is one to do by yourself and you can do it.”
I hear Bomber’s car pull up in front of the gates and Tasha and I say our goodbye’s, she wishes me luck just before I hang up and I approach my bedroom window, waving at my man as he stands by the door of his car. Taking a deep breath, I gather my things as well as myself, picking up my purse from the floor, and then go to meet him. A terrible feeling of dread feels heavy on my heart, I have to tell Bomber because the thought of the girls knowing and Bomber not, kills me with guilt.
A loud knock on the door sounds and I jolt from my misery. Why has he knocked? I told him not to knock!
I race down the stairs but it’s too late, Scrappy has opened the door and I spy my mother standing at the edge of the entrance hall, a huge smile in place. She looks so happy and it makes me cringe.
“I’m here for Elise.” I hear Bomber.
“No shit.” Scrappy answers.
“Bomber!” My mother holds her arms high, beating me to the front door. “Come on in!”
Bomber looks to me and I give him an ‘I told you so’ look. Well, I try to at least.
“It’s time to go.” I push past my mother and Scrappy, wanting to escape this embarrassment.
“Oh, you can’t have a drink with us before you go?” My mother pushes, beaming towards Bomber.
“Our table is booked.” I tell her, now standing beside Bomber and trying to urge him to step away from the door.
My mother sulks like a child, Scrappy smirks like the annoying sibling he is and Bomber just stands there, a charming smile on his handsome face. I am so glad my father isn’t here to see this.
“Elise is right, we have to get going but I’ll share a drink with you another time June.” He flashes her his most gorgeous smile. “That ok?”
My mother nods her head quickly. “Of course.”
Scrappy makes a disgusted sounding grunt and shuts the door, ending the contact between my mother and Bomber.
“Did you really have to flirt with her like that?” I demand as we walk down the garden and towards the car. “Poor Dad won’t have a chance now.”
Bomber laughs. “I wasn’t flirting with your mum.”
“Really?” I frown as we get to my door.
Bomber leans into me, trapping me between himself and the car. “Why Elise, are you jealous?”
“Of course not.” I scoff.
Bomber smirks, a small chuckle escaping before he plants a lingering kiss on my lips. “Don’t worry baby, I’m all yours.” He kisses me again, and opens the car door for me. Helping me in like the gentleman he is.
Bomber gets in beside me and I continue to frown. “I still don’t like it, watching her face light up like that was wrong.” He laughs as he starts the car, but I don’t think it’s funny. “It creeped me out.”
Sill laughing, he pats my knee and squeezes. “Don’t worry baby, you’re it for me.”
He gifts me with a quick look and I’m left speechless. I’m filled with love, but at the same time I’m shit scared. I know in that moment that I have to tell him, but the heart breaking part is I don’t know if I can bring myself to.
Demon has stained me forever.
***
Bomber fumbles with the door as he carries me to his club room, we laugh as he struggles but makes no attempt to put me down.
“You wanna put me down?” I ask against his
kissing mouth.
“Never.” He growls back, causing me to laugh again but I soon forget that when he finally opens the door and kicks it shut. He squeezes my bottom, with both hands now that he’s not trying to open a door whilst balancing me.
Bomber lays me down on the bed. “One sec.” He holds up a finger and runs back to the door, locking it. “I don’t want a repeat of your surprise party.”
I take the time to remove my jacket. “Yeah, me neither.” I can’t help but laugh. I don’t want my brother to ever see me in that state again.
Bomber quickly returns to my side and we resume our kissing, but its short lived when there’s a loud knock on the door.
“Fuck.” Bomber groans.
“Bomb?” I hear my cousin, Baby from the other side.
“Stay quiet.” Bomber whispers.
“Just go answer him.” I whisper back.
“Bomb?” Baby shouts again. “I know you’re in there, I saw you practically clawing Elise’s clothes off on your way here.”
I close my eyes in embarrassment but all Bomber does is stay put and laugh.
“What the fuck is wrong with your family?” Bomber asks. “They have a radar on you or something?”
“Elise are you naked? Is that why you’re not answering because yeah, I don’t wanna see that. Just get under the quilt or something, I need to talk with Bomb.”
“Oh my god, will you go and see what he wants.” I beg Bomber, who is still snickering away.
“Or are you already in the middle of your sweet loving?” Baby continues, “I can just wait out here, just keep it quiet will yah?”
With a heavy sigh, I jump from the bed and march over to the door. Yanking it open, I frown in the face of my sarcastic cousin.
“Elise!” Baby smiles, his arms open wide as if I’m about to run into them. “Nice to see you in clothes.”
I hold back my eye roll and turn to look over at Bomber, who has a stupid smirk in place. “Bomber!”
“Ok.” He stands, walking over to us. He kisses my forehead and then looks to Baby. “Let’s talk.”
By the way the smile fades on Baby’s face, I know its important club talk, so I take a step back and Bomber gives me a grateful smile before stepping into the hall with Baby. The door softly closes behind him and I go back to the bed. I guess that’s the good thing getting with a girl who has grown up in the club, I already know all the rules and procedures. I can’t be a part of what they’re talking out there, and to be brutally honest, I don’t want to.