I nodded.
“So, friends look out for one another and add a psychic twist and you can understand how I feel when something’s up. You are going to ruin everything by being so manic about Charming. Slow yourself down and see where it goes. Let it evolve organically.”
“Organically? You make my life sound like produce.” I objected.
“You know what I mean. Chill. Relax. Mellow out and enjoy the ride, Sophie. Don’t be such a control freak, you are not in control of this. Accept it and you will be happier. You could ruin everything and enjoy nothing if you stay on this path. I know this. I’m a psychic, remember? I’m telling you, no, I’m warning you.”
Her eyes looked into mine, her expression communicating even more than her words and her words had sunk in. Big time.
“I’m going to change my attitude, I swear. I’m signing up for yoga classes and I’m going to hang out with the dorm kids more. I’ll even go on Facebook, but to be honest I have never spent a lot of time on there.”
“Okay, well good. I knew you’d be reasonable but it has to start now. Not next week. Stop moping and fretting and jump back in to normal,” she said, making quotes with her fingers as she said it. “Charming has been part of your daily life all along remember. Oh, he’s smiling at me.”
She smiled back at him and I gave them both my most innocent smile and took a giant bite of my cookie.
~
I was on my knees, yards of pale pink cotton gathered around me, my arm in a bush picking a fat ripe blackberry. There were hundreds of them and a brown wicker basket beside me was nearly filled to the brim. Suddenly a buzzing bee landed on my arm and I shrieked.
“Hold still, I’ll get it.” Charming’s voice said from above me. Kneeling down, he flicked the bee away and leaned in to kiss me gently.
“Hi,” I smiled at him and watched his mouth as he popped a berry in it and chewed. “Hey, we haven’t washed those yet!”
Laughing, he picked another one and held it to my lips.
”Live life on the edge Soph,” he challenged me and I bit into the juicy berry. “You have been eating these off the vine all your life. These are your favorite.”
“Really? I don’t think I’ve ever had them before. At home they come in little square containers that cost like six dollars each. Mom never buys them. These are amazing.” I looked around and saw we were in a wooded area with a well worn path. “Where are we?”
“Behind your house, not too far from the rose gardens,” he answered, giving me a reference point. I was becoming somewhat familiar with my old home.
“It must have been so wonderful growing up here with you. It’s so beautiful, and you are so beautiful,” I said looking into his gorgeous blue eyes. He kissed me again and all was right in my world. I just wanted to stay forever. I started to wonder while I was kissing him about doing other things besides kissing, wondering when we’d get beyond this. Kissing him was awesome, but surely we had done more than that. I was becoming anxious to move it up a step.
Suddenly Charming laughed into my mouth and pulled back. Damn, I had forgotten that he could hear my thoughts. And they made him laugh? Great. I frowned at him, my brows crinkling in confusion and embarrassment.
“Sophie! I’m sorry! I’m just…you shocked me. Sweetheart, when you were Lily you would never have even thought that way. It simply wouldn’t have happened. Why do you think we were getting married so young?”
“Really?”
“Wel,l partly. I wanted you so much and I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t anxious to be able to sleep with you as my wife. It was a different time, my love. You have no idea.”
“So, we’ve never slept together.”
“No.”
“We have only kissed, that’s it?”
“That is it.”
“Wow, this is interesting. So, we have spent two lifetimes as virgins?”
“I’m afraid so.” He laughed and I joined him. No wonder I always woke in the middle of kissing him. He stood up and helped me to my feet wiping the loose dirt off of my pink dress. Leaving the full basket on the ground he held both of my hands in his.
“You are simply perfect, Sophie. I love everything about you. I wish you could hear my thoughts when we are in your world when I am hearing yours. If you could keep hearing how much I love and adore and want you then you would not have a moment to spend being afraid I will disappear. Take comfort in knowing that you are mine, as I am yours. Across lifetimes, defying reason and fate, I am here. We are together.
“I love you, Charlie Fields. You turn me inside out. You take my breath away. These dreams are my heaven.”
“I know, love, they are the same for me. Don’t waste time wishing we could stay here, don’t try to change anything. Just be. I’m here, and I’m there. We are always together. Please let that be enough.”
“Let it be enough? It’s everything. I get what you and Melissa and Kara are all trying to tell me. I get it, Charming.” Suddenly, finally, I really did understand. I was undermining my own miracle with my immaturity. It was like a light went on. And the fear that had been clawing at me went away. It simply evaporated.
Reaching up to wrap my arms around his neck and pull his mouth to mine I lost myself in his kisses until one more time I sat up, looking around at my real world. I smiled and stretched and relished the crazy life that was mine.
Chapter 14
Rylee called me as I was heading out of the dorm to my first class.
“Hey! Kind of early for you isn’t it?” Rylee loved sleeping in and hadn’t scheduled a single class this semester that started before noon.
Her laughter filled my ear and made me smile. “Ya, well mom and dad woke me up to tell me they are going to buy me a ticket to San Diego this weekend if you aren’t too busy for company. They want me to check out your school and see if I would be happier there.”
“No way!” I squealed with excitement and a couple guys walking near me turned to stare. I didn’t care, I was so happy. “That is so awesome. When are you coming?”
“I can fly out Thursday evening and come back on Sunday afternoon.”
“I can’t wait! I miss you so much, Ry.”
“Me too. I will get my ticket right now and send you the itinerary later. Should I bring anything special?”
“No, just make sure you bring your bathing suit, we will definitely end up at the beach.”
“The beach sounds amazing. You have no idea how I miss it. I hate the desert, it is such a sick joke, all this sand and no ocean.”
I laughed and we said our goodbyes. A visit from Rylee was just what I needed. I put my cell phone in my pocket and was still smiling when a voice startled me.
“Well, somebody is in a good mood this morning.” I jumped, as Colin laughed.
“Hi Colin. Yeah, I am. That was my best friend, Rylee, she is coming out for the weekend.”
“That’s cool. Where does she go to school?”
“Arizona , but she is trying to transfer out next semester.”
“Really? I‘ve got lots of friends who go to school there and they all love it.
“I know a lot of people who love it too, but she hates the desert. We grew up together at the beach and she will be happier here. We’ve been inseparable since pre-school so I am glad she wants to check our school out.”
He smiled, “That would be cool then.” We started to head in two different directions and before we parted he stopped me.
“Hey Sophie, I’m having a party at my house on Saturday. Why don’t you come and bring your friend.”
“Thanks, maybe I will.”
“Cool. I will give you the address in class tomorrow.”
Waving at Colin I headed into my class thinking now Rylee could compare the parties at her school with the ones here. She would love that. Far more social than I, she would enjoy every minute and I would put up with it for her.
Hours later, as I finished my last class for the day, my cell phone rang. It was mom letti
ng me know Gran’s medical tests had all turned out okay. I sighed happily, although thanks to my personal psychic I already knew she would be fine. I filled mom in on Rylee coming to visit and I could tell she was as happy as I was about it. My parents weren’t ones to worry, they knew I was both responsible and not terribly adventurous. In high school they had actually encouraged me to go out on Saturday nights instead of hanging out with them. Not that they didn’t love my company, they had told me, it was just important for me to have fun with people my own age. Rylee and I hung out a lot, but I always had to share her with her latest boyfriend. She seemed to have been in a steady string of six month romances since ninth grade. The longest one actually made it to 10 months during our junior year. He was a senior and she dumped him the day he got in to Notre Dame. When I asked her why, she had said there was so way she was going to be in a long distance relationship from California to Indiana. When I reminded her he still had several months before he actually left she looked at me like I was crazy. Long distance relationships were unfathomable to her, even ones that hadn’t happened yet.
I had my first assigned paper of the semester to write so I spent an uneventful few hours in the library. I didn’t mind, libraries were one of my favorite places actually. My stomach let me know I’d worked through dinner and I grabbed a sandwich to go from the dining commons. Turkey and avocado on whole grain, more my usual fare than the burgers and fries I had been comforting myself with lately.
Eating in front of my laptop, I followed Kara’s advice and checked into some of my normal pre-Charming activities. I went on Facebook and saw I had several friend requests from people I had met here in the dorm and in classes. Accepting them all I then checked my email and a couple of blogs I liked to read. I gave these only half my attention, the other half was watching the clock for bedtime. Rylee called with all her flight details and we talked a bit about what we would do. Aside from touring the campus and Colin’s party, which I kept for a surprise, there were so many options to choose from. The San Diego Zoo, Sea World, beaches, Balboa Park and the museums, shopping, the beach. It would take her a two week visit to see it all. I especially wanted her to meet Kara and I told her I would try to arrange dinner one of the nights. By the time we said goodbye it was well past a presentable bedtime. Yawning, I fell right to sleep.
~
I was standing at the bottom of a sweeping staircase, drawn to the sound of a piano, its haunting melody calling me. With one hand on the carved cherry wood banister, the other holding up the mint green and white striped dress I wore so I wouldn’t trip, I hurried up the steps and down a long hallway. The notes grew progressively louder until I stood in the doorway of what must be a music room. A harp stood next to a piano where Charming sat playing, eyes closed, fingers flying across the keys. The song was eerily familiar, yet I didn’t know it. He played on for several minutes until he opened his eyes and saw me standing there.
“Sophie, how long have you been standing there?”
“Long enough to learn one more reason to love you. That was so beautiful. You are so talented, Charming.”
“Do you remember it?”he asked, his eyes searching mine.
“It sounds so familiar. I loved it didn’t I?”
“You did.”
“What is it called?”
“Lily’s Song”
“No wonder it sounds so familiar. Did you write it?”
He nodded, then stood and met me as I crossed the room. Pulling me against him I wrapped my arms around him and laid my head against his heart.
“Charming, I know I sound like a broken record, but I want to stay here with you and be Lily again. I want all my memories back.”
Kissing my hair he replied, “Sweet Sophie, I wish I could give you all our memories, there are so many and they are all so precious.”
The sadness in his voice took me by surprise and my only wish was to see him smile. “Charlie, I’m here. We’re together. What shall we do? Let’s not waste a moment of our time together being sad.” I looked up at him and wrapped my arms around his neck.
“Tell me where I am,” I requested as he smiled at me.
“This is the music room in my house. The piano is my escape I guess you could say. I play it when I’m sad or bored or worried. Music can take it all away. It puts everything into perspective.”
“And the harp?”
“The harp is Charlotte’s. My parents wanted her to play, but I’m afraid she is not terribly interested, which simply makes her terrible.”
Laughing at the thought of hyper Rylee playing a harp made me understand why Charlotte was not into it.
“My sister would rather be jumping the horses or planting in the garden. Indoor activities don’t hold her interest.”
“Nothing’s changed. Are you excited for her visit?”
“Yes. It’s only been a few weeks since I last saw her and I never realized how much I would miss her.”
“Me too, actually.”
“It should be fun. She will love San Diego.”
“I can’t wait for her to meet Kara and see what she says about her future. I will bet you that no matter what she tells her she will try to renegotiate her reading.”
“Poor Kara, be sure to warn her.”
Smiling up at Charming I was taken aback by the intent way he was studying my face. Did I imagine that I saw a glistening of tears in those navy eyes?
“Charlie, what’s wrong?” My heart lurched in dread, fear causing it to race.
“Nothing, nothing is wrong. I just feel, after all this time, so taken aback by how much I love you, how very much you mean to me Sophie.” His hands reached to cradle my face and he leaned in to rest his forehead against mine. “The words I love you just seem so inadequate, yet there are no better words to express it. You are my love, my best friend, my soul mate, my life.”
My eyes now held tears too as I spoke. “We are one heart, Charming. We just are. We are the luckiest two people in this world, or any other.”
There was no more talking then. His mouth enveloped mine and time stopped. I don’t know if it was moments or hours later when I awoke, but I awoke smiling and in awe of love.
Chapter 15
By Thursday afternoon I had the weekend planned and all my homework for both Monday and Tuesday’s classes completed. I was as excited as I had been waiting for Santa when I was small as I waited impatiently for Rylee at the baggage claim. Jumping up and waving as I saw her descend on the escalator, she did not notice me at all as she smiled up at a tall dark haired guy. Watching them take their phones and obviously exchange numbers I glanced to the space where I knew Charming stood and rolled my eyes. Only after the guy went off in a different direction did she finally look around for me.
“Sophie!” she screamed and ran straight for me wrapping me in a hug. “Oh my god, I can’t believe I’m here! I already love it! I don’t want to go back!”
Laughing we headed out to my car and threw her bag in the back seat. “Oh I have missed Sofibug too!” She said referring to my personalized license plate that came with my car when my parents bought it for me. It was slightly embarrassing at first, but we had definitely grown fond of calling her Sofibug over the years. “Can we put her top down?” We also referred to my car as a she. No boy car would want to be a baby blue beetle.
“Of course we can. Hop in.”
“Oh my god! I almost forgot! Where is he?” She practically yelled and I was confused.
“What are you talking about?”
“My brother, where is he? Is he here? Can he hear me?”
I smiled. “Of course he’s here, and yes he can hear you and see you. He’s right here on my right side.” I gestured to my side and watched her take off her sunglasses and squint trying to see him.
“You can’t see him Ry. But he’s here, believe me.”
“Well hello big brother!” she kissed the air and laughed. “Maybe you should come visit me in a dream too.”
“I’m sure he wo
uld if he could control it, Ry.”
“I always wanted a big brother and to think I had one all along. But you can’t bring any cute guys home.”
Rylee laughed again and totally serious asked as she reached for the door, “Does he get the front seat? Should I get in the back?”
“You are fine, Ry. Remember he has been with us all our lives, you don’t need to act any different now. The only thing that has changed is that we know he is here.”
“Okay, cool,” she said and happily got in.
I realized then that something was different now. I searched Rylee’s face for Charming’s features, looking hard for the family resemblance. But while Charming was tall and lean, Rylee was short and curvy. Where Charming’s eyes were a deep, navy blue, Rylee’s were a pure baby blue. Her smile was just as perfect, but she hadn’t been blessed with those heart stopping dimples of his, and her hair was a shade lighter than his golden blonde. Still, how had I not seen as I drew Charming’s face millions of times growing up that the shape of their face was identical. And had I noticed? Well, I would have assumed I had just subconsciously borrowed that feature.
“You have no idea how happy I am to be here Sophie! A month in Arizona felt like a year. I will never complain about being hot in California again.” She shuddered and reached out to turn on the radio.
“You really hate it, don’t you? I know how unhappy I would be if I were stuck in a place where I didn’t fit.”
“Well, yeah, I really hate it. Except for a few friends I’ve made, and that a couple of my classes are pretty cool, everything else sucks.”
“Well you have an entire weekend to spend hopefully falling in love with San Diego.”
“Where should we begin?”
“Are you hungry?”
“When have you known me not to be? What’s for dinner?”
“You get to choose. I thought we could go for Mexican, but I know where we can get Italian, Greek or maybe salad. Name your craving.”
“Mexican sounds perfect. I brought my fake I.D. I could totally go for a margarita.”
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