by SK Williams
Who Goes First?
We had too much to drink that night
she fell asleep long before me
She danced in her dreams
and kicked at my knees
I smiled sleeplessly
as she tossed and turned
and softly moaned
tangled up in lucid fantasies
I watched her
and wished I could be there too,
where we are forever
And though I think she was sleeping
her hand sprang out and clutched
my fingers
She pulled me in
and I nestled up close
and fell into the darkness
to find her
Swallowed up in the dark
I love you in the night
I’ll find your fingers
and trace your shape
and remember your form
in light
We’ll go on –
journey deeper still
into the dreaming
Beyond the land we know
so well
And there, bid goodbye
to reason and
to meaning
You & I
Before it all began
there was an explosion
of light
and matter
in every direction
We saw cities rise and fall
animals and humans alike
being born
growing up
growing old
and dying
And we saw ourselves
suckling babies
pimply teens
always incomplete
without each other
And then we met
and there was an explosion
of light
and love
and matter
I wonder if we met as children
would you have chased me
around the playground
professing your love
and picking me lilies?
would I have noticed you
or let you kiss me on the cheek?
would I have been embarrassed
or ashamed
or would I be the one
chasing you?
I wonder if we would still end up here
There is you
and there is me
We are not together
but there’s a place where we are
and sometimes I go there
I bring you lilacs
and you greet me on the porch steps
with kisses
and we talk about our days
by the fire
and when our lips grow tired
you run your fingers through my hair
and I work the knots out of your shoulders
and kiss your neck
and tell you
You deserve to be kissed
every day
every moment
I’ve had this dream before
and I’ll have it again
I’m back in these places I try to forget
People there laughing at me and I can’t
shut them out
I run and I run and I can’t run away
but your hand is there to find my own
your words are gentle in my ears
and I feel them in my soul
it’s only a dream
but you are with me
and I realize now that it’s okay –
it’s all I need
I can turn back and face them
I can be here with you
Healing is
being in the quiet and the darkness
with the soft glow of the blazing fireplace
and your arms wrapped around
A book in my hands
and soothing words falling from my lips
our heavy eyes pulling us back
The storm outside
thunder booming and crackling overhead
and the insistent patter of droplets
the groan and grate of the wind
tearing between the trees
all of these sounds
and I hear none of them
Healing is
here
Linger a few minutes longer
with me in this dark space
help me forget all the things
I need to do today
with just your embrace
I feel the sunlight creeping across the sheets
but I want to hold the dark
where I can be whomever I want to be
instead of what they want to make me
please, keep me here
stay with me
Explore these freckles of light
with your gentle fingertips
Find the unseen lines
drawing them to each other
across the nothing
Fill each silence with a smile
or, if you must,
interrupt it with a kiss
Honeybee
I remember your lips
when I kissed you
You became a hummingbird
and you zipped and zoomed about
the flitting of swift little wings
tickled at my ears
And you sped away from me
but I chased after
shouting out – “but I love you”
but you kept on and on,
fluttering away
until you were a tiny dot
and then you came back
only you weren’t a bird
no, you were a honeybee
and your sound was a buzz
and it scared me
but I stayed still
and you stung me
but I smiled at you sweetly
Seeker in the dark
you find me where I don’t belong
in my own indecision and self-doubt
and take me to a place
far better than I ever deserved
where I can plant small seeds
that could blossom into tomorrows
if I am clever and kind enough
to nourish them
sometimes I lose the way
please, show me the path
when I lose it
There was smoke rising up to the clouds
between our tender fingertips
the lilacs at your feet
tickled your nose
with the smell of a smile
your kind little eyes held me up
to some cloud I had never
imagined myself on
I could turn to the sun at my back
and see my future from here
and my past as well, waving fondly
as though hoping I still remember it
that sweet summer night we fell in love
in the dreaming dew-dropped grass
The sheets open up
and I fall down down down
down deep inside
I’m awake
but my eyes refuse to open up –
they see no reason
I want to crumple up into a ball
and be thrown away
like a half-finished poem
> not good enough to complete
there you find me
and unravel the crushed edges
to flatten me out
and read every line
and maybe even help me
fill out the rest
I remember you
from a time long before we met
when the light had not yet peeled
the darkness back from the world
shapeless souls in the tumbles of emptiness
I remember the way our forms kissed
and the marks you left on my spirit
stayed upon me
when I felt my way into this body
I kiss you now and remember you
I’ve always known you
I remember
Travelers
We were old there
skin folded loosely over frail bodies
paper-thin bones ready to break
to a sudden gust
and our fingers trembled against our will
not out of fear, but because our bodies
defied us
But I remember
one thing remained the same
and it was the only way we seemed
to recognize each other –
our eyes
And then we were young
nestled up against each other
only soft and far away sounds –
the gentle flitting of feathers in flight
and the croak of the wind
between the branches
steady breathing and hearts tap-tapping
yours or mine
those eyes
distant oceans
we weren’t here
but there –
somewhere I have never been
surrounded by the lapping of seafoam
the caw of chittering gulls
coarse and still soft sand
heating against our skin
the hammock swaying us
with the tide
I focused on your cold fingers
We were cold
but warm against each other
huddling tight beneath blankets
as the flurries of snowy summer
tickled at our cheeks
and frosted the grass tips
Our arms fanned out
making the angels
we might someday become
Our eyes against the heavens
defying the promise
of winter’s bitter kiss
Our eyes were closed
but the worlds we saw
in each other…
We took with us
The sun slipped away beneath the horizon
slivers of light faded
we walked the length of the beach
and lay there together in the dark
to watch the waves reaching toward us
and I realized I felt more bare
and vulnerable than I ever had before
and yet, I felt safer, too,
in the dark beneath the moon
with the rest of the world at our feet
I am a dreamer
a starry-eyed child
dipped in moonlight
who climbs up mountains
and sleeps in clouds
I can feel his hands upon me
from my shoulders down my spine
massaging away my worries
knots I’ve held up over time
he presses me – smooths me –
until I am made new
my neck falls loose like a noodle
my head grows heavy
my feet are weary
but then he finds those instead
between my toes and around my heel
he works and moves
and twists and soothes
my eyes grow sleepy
and contentedly, I fall to sleep
Sweet dreams
my little tosser
my little turner
my little sleep walker,
sleep talker
my little angel,
fanning your body out across the bed
my little cloud skipper
my little star sailor
my little moonbeam
I want you to close your eyes
and let me pick you up in my arms
and take you out to my car in the snow
and kiss you
and sing to you
until you fall asleep
And when you wake up
I want to kiss you
and carry you out
and lay you down in the sand
The water will splash your toes
and it will be warm
and it will surprise you
and I’ll kiss you
and I’ll kiss you
and I’ll kiss you until you wake
We left the shore behind,
drifting on the gentle waves,
lapping water at our sides
The clouds rolled out
across the water in billowing curtains
I took your hand in mine
and looked into your eyes
The moon shone on the horizon
and all the night sky
looked down on us with grace
The world fell away
on this night
and all that remained of it –
was our love
The lights were all on – even the lamps
she was staring down at me
sitting cross-legged on my chest
poking my cheeks
“Our boat is about
to disembark –
wake up!”
she said
And I did
to find her sleeping
soundly beside me
murmuring softly to herself –
or maybe to me –
“Don’t forget your pants.”
Captain of the Sleepless Voyage
O my little Calypso
sprawled out across the sheets
sunk into deep visions of beyond
her swirling wispy breaths
rippling white silken water
stretched taut beneath our forms
Yet these fingers plod on –
tracing over linen waves
exploring moonlit speckled skin
bare and rhythmic against the night
And I gaze upon her tightly kept lids
holding back
orbs of azure waters
uncharted lands beyond
It is far too late
but not yet early enough
for waking
And so I sail on
I can see the sea
in your blue eyes
I can taste the salt
from your tears
on my lips
I can hear the waves
softly falling against the shore
with my ear
pressed to your chest
and I can feel the water
all around me
slipping through
on its way to you
We left our bodies hours ago
swimming naked among the cosmos
constellations stretched overhead
like the string lights on our porch
eyes brimming with forevers
lips spelling love in every way we know
how to
here, we are free
and though the gentle twilight is fading,
I don’t want to go back
Imagine our lives unfolding –
playing out like little Super 8 movies
in a million different ways
Maybe we stay here or move far away
Maybe somewhere they speak our language
or maybe somewhere they don’t
Maybe we’ll have a little home
or maybe a castle
Maybe we’ll grow old together
or maybe we’ll have a couple kids
Maybe we’ll have two girls with your eyes
and my smile
or maybe we’ll try for them
and find out we can’t
Maybe we’ll make it big
or maybe we will stay this way –
our only happiness is each other
Maybe the film will go on forever
or run out before we’re ready
for it to end
Every film is beautiful
and I’d live them all
with you
Star kid,
lay down your head
don’t be afraid of the dark
journey deep into dreams
stay wild and wondrous
grow up gently
and don’t forget
to look up at the moon
when you’ve grown too old to run
When I go
lay me down
against the earth
where my heart can beat
with the beat of the mother
who bore me from her branches
who shaped me from dirt and bones
who will shape the next from my own
take me home
I’m not ready for the end
not when I feel
I’ve only just begun with you
I want to see what we will become
I want to see the choices we will make
together
I want to tell them all about us,
to shout it from the rooftops
I want to get lost in you
and forget about
life and death –
beginnings and end
I want to feel our love
forever
We crawl beneath
the thick silk sheets of the night sky,
swimming boundless,