Love by Night

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Love by Night Page 5

by SK Williams


  bodies tumbling and weightless,

  with only each other’s form to guide our way

  through the dark

  We are alone here, in this place

  Just the two of us,

  the moon and the stars

  I would love to spend eternity

  exploring the depths with you

  just the two of us

  and millions of miles

  of places to go

  A Reception Beneath the Stars

  We were out on this big boat somewhere

  and it was the middle of the night

  I saw us dressed up

  in our nicest clothes

  in clothes far better

  than anything either of us

  has ever owned

  And there was the smoothest

  sultry jazz band playing

  music straight from their soul

  We held each other close

  our other hands wrapped around

  flutes of bubbly champagne

  sweet notes tickling our noses

  We danced with such reckless joy

  and wore smiles that

  overlooked our fancy clothes

  I stared at you and wondered

  if I was dreaming

  and you kissed me

  awake

  Whenever I wake up

  next to you

  it feels like

  coming home

  Your hands are cozy autumn evenings

  sitting fireside in sweaters

  while the leaves fall outside

  Your kisses are early spring dewdrops

  from last night’s gentle rain

  blossoming beauties from deep within

  Your heartbeat is a warm summer day

  wild and full of a youthful energy

  to soak our basking bodies beneath the sun

  Your eyes are merry winter songs

  singing wordless over the chill

  of the promise of the long winter night

  I won’t always have the words

  to pull you back from the dark

  but I will always be here

  to sit with you in it

  and take your hand

  or wrap my arms around you

  until it passes

  for every day of sunshine

  there will be a night of darkness

  but I want to spend both of them

  with you

  I will be careful with you

  but I promise to be reckless too

  I will be thoughtful in words

  but also passionate in action

  I will know when to follow

  but lead when you don’t know the way

  I will hold you close

  but if you ever tell me to leave,

  I’m sorry but it’s something

  I’ll never do

  Storm Shelter

  There will be long gloomy days

  full with storm clouds and claps of thunder

  the wind will howl and

  the dogs will whimper

  lightning will tear apart the sky

  but we will be safe

  with each other

  and we will know

  every storm will pass

  We hid out in old abandoned houses

  protected by crumbling fences

  We went wherever they weren’t –

  wherever we could be together

  We stayed a night in a castle

  a day in a haunted house

  and a few dozen

  huddled up together

  surrounding ourselves

  with blankets and cardboard

  Oh, but we were so happy

  and I wouldn’t take back

  a single day

  Things I’m grateful for:

  • My life and health

  • The family I have – including the friends

  • Great food and refreshing drinks

  • Sunsets and sunrises

  • The stars and the moon

  • The sea and the wild

  • Soft blankets and softer cuddles

  • Good books

  • You

  I never knew I liked grocery shopping

  until I pushed the cart around with you

  I never knew I liked mornings

  until we shared some tea and smiles

  I never knew I liked cooking

  until we made it more than just a meal

  I never knew I liked hosting

  until I saw how we work as a team

  I never knew I liked reading with someone

  until we burned through some books

  together

  I never know what I’ll discover next

  with you

  but I can’t wait to find out

  One of our favorite things to do together

  is walk the streets

  and point out the houses we pass

  to talk about the wonder

  of what living there would be like

  How old do you think that house is?

  That place has nice bones, but it’s

  definitely a fixer-upper

  Those stairs are fine now

  but when we’re old –

  That arch over the front door

  The color of the roof

  The garden you could plant

  I love the cut of that fencing

  Someday, my love

  we will have a place of our own

  Whatever happens

  I know it will always be like this

  the same page that we are on

  the healthy way we communicate

  the flow and vibe that we bring

  the groove that we cook with or clean

  the way that we share everything

  with each other

  even the hard stuff

  but especially the love –

  the love we have for things

  for people

  for each other

  whatever happens

  I know

  it will always be like this

  I will always remember our first house

  our upside-down doorknob

  our hall lights that never worked

  our unfixable faucet

  our warm refrigerator

  our windy recycling days

  our power outages

  our first carpet and couch

  our brisk morning walks around the block

  our cozy movie nights

  our paintings on the walls

  our game nights we’d host

  our delicious home-cooked meals

  our lazy days in bed

  our little needy dog

  Wherever we go from here

  I will take this place with me

  We’ll paint the world across the walls

  and we’ll start here

  where we grew up

  We’ll stretch our arms out wide

  mark every place we want to drive

  we’ll push pins in the places

  and take a drive together

  to replace some of those pins

  with memories

  We’ll name the places far away from us –

  the places we’ve only ever dreamed of

  and someday we’ll save up the money

  and cross the oceans instead


  to press our fingers against

  this soil in distant lands

  instead of the images in our minds

  We’ll go there – wherever we can

  we have our whole lives to get there

  together

  I look forward to a few things

  the notes you leave in my lunchbox

  the way you flick the porch light

  on and off

  as I back out the driveway

  the “I love you” text you send me

  as I drive away

  the soft snores you sing

  while I read you to sleep

  the way you fall into my arms

  when I return home to you

  in the morning

  the steaming cups of coffee we sip

  as we meet at this place in between –

  me about to fall sleep

  and you, just barely waking up

  the days we count down together

  to the weekend ahead

  when our worlds align once more

  these passing moments

  are all that get me through

  I remember the feeling of

  your lips on my cheek

  our feet against the warm beach

  the waves lapping at our ankles

  your heart beating soft and tranquil

  the wind through my hair

  darling, take me back there

  Meals

  There will be breakfasts in bed

  I’ll put the coffee on and give you just a

  splash of

  cream – until your coffee looks

  caramel

  there will be nice dinners

  we’ll get dressed up real nice and go out

  somewhere that costs more than it should

  but we’ll go there like we belong –

  we’ll know what we deserve

  there will be takeout nights

  you’ll get the silverware and the plates

  set up on the coffee table while I take

  our order from the delivery driver

  there will be picnics in the grass

  we’ll lay out a blanket and snack

  on the fruits of our labor –

  holding each other close and just

  being there in that moment together

  there will be all kinds of meals

  and they will all be a part of us –

  an important part

  that we’ll always share together

  On days when work is too stressful,

  when my self-discipline is nonexistent,

  when I’m too tired to even feel human,

  you smile, you make me laugh a little,

  you help me keep perspective.

  When I feel anxious and depressed,

  unsuccessful and like a big lazy blob,

  you motivate me, you encourage me,

  you make feel capable, strong, and

  altogether lovely.

  I know these bad days will never go away.

  Being with the love of my life doesn’t

  mean a happily-ever-after every day.

  But it does mean the bad days aren’t

  as frequent.

  It does mean I feel stronger to fight

  for my happiness.

  It means you make me love myself

  a little bit more.

  A Letter to Future Us

  We want you both to keep looking forward

  to the days to come – to the days

  and nights you’ll spend together

  We want you to experience new things

  every year until your last

  We want you to keep your hearts open

  to each other – to keep sharing the things

  you love, to share new things you discover

  We want you to share things with each other

  that are sometimes hard to talk about

  We want you to look at us here and know

  we’re happy – and we hope you never

  lost this

  We hope you still look at each other

  with those alluring eyes –

  with tender searching hands

  and forgiving lips

  and kind, listening ears

  We hope the distance between us here

  and you there

  is long and full of adventure

  We want you both to be happy

  with who you have become

  and the marks you’ve left on hearts –

  and we hope they are tender impressions

  rather than scars

  We want you to know it is okay

  that you’ve made mistakes

  because we know you both have

  We want you to know you did enough

  and you are enough

  and we are proud –

  don’t look back at this time

  or the time between then and now

  with regret

  We want you to remember

  it is never too late to change –

  not even now

  We love you both

  and we love that you found each other

  that you found someone to show you

  everything you deserve

  You are the sun in the day

  and the moon in the night

  You brighten my life

  and if I ever forget

  I just have to look up at the sky

  and know that there’s a you

  who loves me

  You are the moon

  always shining

  always there for me

  even when I can’t see you

  You rise at night

  and gently kiss the world

  And even the dark sides of you

  are beautiful

  Sometimes I am scared

  because I don’t know what comes next

  a ring

  a question

  a house

  a couple kids

  Where do we go?

  Does this fun just disappear –

  this me and this you?

  these people we are now will be no more

  I see ourselves shrinking and scrambling

  out the door

  how do we still be ourselves?

  how do we hold on to everything we are?

  Whenever the time comes

  if ever the time comes

  I hope I can be a good father

  I am so scared of messing it up

  of making someone like me

  I will read our kid to sleep

  and let them leave the light on

  if they need it

  I will let them be whomever

  they want to be

  I hope they don’t feel the pressure

  but I hope they’re better than me

  I hope they know no matter what they do

  I will be proud of them

  I used to not want to be a mother

  and that’s something

  you just don’t tell people

  Now I can see how that life could be

  and I’m starting to want it for myself

  I want to give that kind of love

  to someone else –

  I have so much of it to spare

  Maybe it never felt right before

  but with you now

  it does

  It is fu
n to pick out names

  to imagine what little quirks

  or facial features

  or skills they will pick up from us

  to wonder who they will become

  and how we will raise them

  or the ways we will love them

  it is fun to wonder

  to think of what could be

  if we decide we want to maybe

  expand our little family

  When the old bones break

  when the hair falls from my head

  when the body grows frail

  and fades to dust,

  my love will remain

  I remember when

  you said,

  “Promise me,

  if we become more than this,

  we won’t lose this.

  I don’t ever want to lose

  our friendship

  even if we’re more than friends.”

  And I know some days

  move faster than others

  and that was so many days ago

  but you’re still

  my best friend

  and I never want that to change either

  You still make me feel invincible

  you still help me find the stars in the dark

  and the moon in the day

  you still make me smile and laugh

  and remind me that everything

  will be okay

  you still help me find the words

  when I can’t find my voice

  you still speak up for me

  when I feel like I don’t have a choice

  you still make me want to be better

  but you also still remind me

  that I’ll always be enough

  When I grow old,

  I will find a new way

  each day

  to tell you why I love you

  When I grow old,

  I will still laugh at your dumb jokes

  When I grow old,

  I will still take your hand when

  you’re staring off

  When I grow old,

  I will still take out the trash

  and wash the dishes

  When I grow old,

  I will still read you to sleep

  When I grow old,

  I will still look at you with wonder

  at how I ever tricked you to be mine

  I don’t know quite

  how many days, or months, or years

 

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