Realm of the Goddess

by Sabina Khan

  I took it and placed it on my lap. The cover was soft, some sort of cloth, dark brown with the title in gold, embossed letters.

  Rakshakari.

  And underneath that in smaller letters:

  History and Organization of the Council.

  “So,” Shiv said, nodding his head toward the book, “this has all the information you need about the Rakshakari. Everything you want to know about who’s who and how it all got started.”

  “Could you maybe tell me the important bits?” I asked, thinking I didn’t really need to know every single detail. There would be time for all that later, after I’d found my parents.

  Shiv smiled and nodded. “I suppose I could do that. So let’s see...where to begin...I think I’ll start by telling you about the organization. So we have the Elders, they are sort of the head of the Rakshakaris. They live in seclusion on Mount Kailash.”

  I nodded. I had heard about Mount Kailash from my grandmother. It was located remotely somewhere in Tibet and in Hinduism it was known as the home of Lord Shiva. My grandmother had described it as a place of great power and peace, the source of three great rivers in Asia, but most of all that it was older than any civilizations we knew about. I forced my attention back to Shiv.

  “At first the Rakshakari Council only had branches in India, but over the last hundred years or so they have spread all over the world.”

  “It makes sense, I guess,” I said, thinking out loud. “People from India live in all parts of the world now.”

  “There are training centers as well, so the new initiates can learn combat techniques. So in North America we have one center here in Seattle, one in Houston and one in New York. Vikram is the head of the Seattle center; you’ll meet him tomorrow. He’s quite the character, but I’m not going to tell you anything. You’ll have to wait and see.”

  “And what do the Elders do?”

  “They are the supreme authority on anything and everything to do with the Rakshakari,” Shiv replied.

  “But if they’re in seclusion so far away, how do they even know what’s going on?” I was imagining a group of old monk-like men sitting on a mountaintop and meditating.

  “I’ve never seen one, but I’ve heard that they are really old, like hundreds of years old, and that they’ve developed special powers from all their years of isolation and deep meditation. Some even say that they are avatars of the Trinity.”

  The trinity included Brahma the creator, Vishnu the maintainer or preserver and Shiva the destroyer or transformer. The idea that these Elders were avatars of the three gods was a fascinating idea but not necessarily one that I bought into. There was still a large part of me, my cynical side, that didn’t accept any of this. But then there was the other side of me, the voice of reason that said it couldn’t be a coincidence I’d always had those dreams and that Shiv and his family knew all about them. That, plus the fact that at the moment they could provide me with some sort of help in finding my parents. Without them I had no clue where to begin. And then there was the fact that my father had come to me in my dream. That was what compelled me to believe that I was right in trusting Shiv and his family. Now I pulled my attention back to what he was saying.

  “So tomorrow, when we go to the center, you will meet all the other Rakshakari who work or live there.”

  “They live at the center?” I asked.

  “Yes, some of them have no family. Many of them come to us from orphanages.”

  “I thought that Rakshakaris were all descendants of the same bloodlines.”

  “Yes, that’s true,” Shiv replied, “but many in India are orphaned as infants because their parents die in battle. And if there is no one left in that family, then they get placed in orphanages by a neighbor or someone.”

  A heaviness weighed down my heart at the thought of these poor children who would never know their parents. “But then how do they end up as Rakshakari?”

  “Rakshakari are all born with a mark,” Shiv said, turning around and pulling the right sleeve of his shirt down to expose his shoulder. I moved closer to get a better look. There it was, his birthmark, a dark bluish one, shaped a little like an eye. It was almost indistinguishable among his many other serpent tattoos. I sat back down and looked at him.

  “So what is it exactly?” I asked. “It looks sort of like an evil eye.” I’d seen symbols like this in books and movies, but usually they were actual tattoos, not birthmarks.

  “Actually, that’s exactly what it is,” Shiv said. “It’s a symbol for protection against evil. And that’s what Rakshakari are born to do.”

  I was still fascinated with the whole orphan thing.

  “So you’re saying that somehow these orphans find their way to other Rakshakari?”

  “Some are drawn to us when they’re older and their powers start to manifest. Others are found by Council members.”

  “You mean that they actually go around to orphanages and look for them?”

  “Yes, think about it,” Shiv replied. “India has so many poor people, and orphanages are full of unwanted children. The Rakshakari do a lot of social work, including working with orphans, trying to get them placed in good homes. When they come across ones who have the mark, they bring them to the centers and give them a better life. One with purpose and security.”

  “But what about a family?” I couldn’t bear to think that these children grew up without the love of parents and siblings.

  “Callie, if the Rakshakari didn’t take them, they would end up being turned out into the streets when they turn sixteen. The orphanages are full and there’s no room for them once they get to that age. Plus, if they don’t get initiated they end up with all kinds of psychological problems.”

  “What do you mean, psychological problems?”

  “Well, we are different, all Rakshakari are. It’s in our blood. And if we aren’t doing what we’re supposed to, things go wrong. Some Rakshakari have powers. And if they aren’t taught to control them they can mess with their minds.”

  This was getting more and more interesting by the minute. So now they had powers too. But then I remembered that just this morning Dev had mentioned my dad having a power, oneiric manipulation.

  “So you all have powers? What’s yours then?”

  “Not all of us,” he replied. “Some do and they can develop at any stage in life. But the ones who get it as children have it the worst.”

  It made sense. I could relate with those kids on some level. When I’d first started having my nightmares, I thought I was going crazy. It wasn’t as if I could just talk about it to anyone. So at first I suffered in silence until my parents and teachers began to notice little changes in me. I became withdrawn, avoided sleep and ended up passing out in class one day. When I told my family, their reactions seemed odd to me at the time. My grandmother immediately told my parents to take me to a holy man. It was strange, but my usually modern parents agreed immediately. At the time I’d thought they were doing it just to appease my grandmother, but now I had to wonder if they hadn’t suspected something back then. Of course, the holy man had just muttered some things and nothing had changed. I continued to have the nightmares, and after a few unsuccessful sessions with a therapist they decided to move to Seattle. I guess at the time they must have thought they might be able to escape whatever was happening to me by running away. Now, when I thought about the orphans I felt glad that at least the Rakshakari were there to help them. I had to wonder, though, how many others were never found and what fates awaited them. I shook myself mentally. I had to get out of this funk. My focus had to be on my parents right now; that was all that mattered.

  “Okay, so what else do I need to know before I meet everyone this afternoon?” I wanted to be prepared.

  “Well, Vikram will insist that you start combat training immediately,” Shiv said.

  “Combat training...” I said. “That should be interesting.” This Vikram fellow had no idea what he was getting himself into. I was a swimmer, so
I was in good shape, but I was known to be quite clumsy. How that was going to translate into combat maneuvers, I wasn’t sure, but I guess I would find out soon enough. Shiv stood up and looked at me.

  “Callie, look, it’s going to be a bit overwhelming meeting everyone and I don’t want you getting stressed out or anything.” He looked worried, and I was glad that I had him to lean on. I didn’t want him to think I was getting all mushy, so I put on an expression that said I was totally fine with all the craziness going on around me.

  “Don’t worry, Shiv,” I said nonchalantly. “I’ll be fine. But I would like to borrow your laptop to do some research.” He nodded as we walked out of the library and up the stairs. I spent the rest of the morning looking up oneiric manipulation. I was still shocked to realize that my father had this whole secret identity that I knew nothing about. Stirrings of resentment started up in my gut, so I was glad that my cell phone made the familiar bleep sound for a text notification. I picked it up off the bed and looked at the screen. It was from Ben. Damn it. I had forgotten to get back to him. I knew that he would be worried, really worried by now. My last text would have kept him going for a little bit, but we had never gone too long without getting in touch with one another before. I had to see him and give him some sort of explanation. I made an impulsive decision.

  Can you meet me at the park in 15 minutes?

  He responded, Sure. Usual spot.

  I hesitated only for a second before deciding I wasn’t going to tell Shiv where I was going. I needed to see Ben alone. I snuck quietly down the stairs and out the door and made my way to the park. Our usual spot was by the swings. We had played there as kids, and when we got older it just became the place we hung out whenever one of us needed to talk. I had no idea what I was going to tell Ben. If I told him the truth he would think I was insane. But there was a part of me that wanted to tell him so badly. I wanted someone from my real life to know what I was going through, someone with whom I had a history and who knew my family.

  He was already there by the time I turned the corner of my street. From here I could see the whole area. There was a water park and it was empty today. During the summers it was packed with people, kids mostly who just wanted relief from the heat and parents who sat on blankets spread out on the grass. Today there were a handful of kids and parents scattered throughout the park, but there was nobody by the swings. Except for Ben.

  Chapter Six

  He was already sitting on one of the four swings, waiting for me. I sprinted over to him and sat down on the swing to his right. He looked at me for a moment before speaking.

  “Callie, what’s going on? You said you had a family emergency, but then I went to your house this morning and no one was there.”

  A feeling of dread shot through me. That was exactly what I’d been trying to avoid: Ben going to my house and being attacked by something waiting for me.

  “I’m sorry Ben...things have been crazy for the last few days.” I tried to think of a plausible reason and came up with the lamest one possible. “One of my aunts in Kolkata died, so my parents had to fly over there. I’m staying with some family friends.”

  I hoped he would let it go at that, but I should have known better. After all, it was Ben. He was nothing if not persistent.

  “Why didn’t you stay with us?” he asked, sounding a little insulted.

  “I wanted to, but you know how my mom is. She was all worried about appearances and all that crap.” I felt I was being convincing, and deep inside I felt awful about lying to my best friend like this, but I couldn’t risk involving him in my mess.

  “I’m sorry about your aunt. Were you close to her?”

  This was not going well. I had to change the topic somehow.

  “Kind of,” I replied. “But I might have to fly there too, so I won’t be able to stay in touch for a while.”

  “Callie...I know we haven’t been spending that much time together recently, but...”

  He began to fidget with the zipper of his hoodie. I had never known Ben to fidget. It just wasn’t who he was. He was confident and funny and a great listener.

  “Ben...whatever it is...you know you can tell me. I’m sorry I haven’t been around.”

  “No...it’s okay, you had your stuff to deal with. I just need to tell you something and I know this isn’t the best time, but...”

  He never got a chance to finish because just then Shiv came bounding around the corner. He stopped for a second and looked around until he saw us by the swings. Then he ran over to us.

  “There you are...I’ve been looking all over the house for you,” he said, barely out of breath. He nodded at Ben. I did not want to see the look on Ben`s face, but I knew I would have to.

  “Umm, I was going to tell you that I’ve been staying at Shiv’s parents’ place...” I said, knowing what Ben must be thinking. So much for how my mom felt about appearances.

  Ben didn’t say anything at first, but then he slowly got off the swing. “That’s great...umm ...I have to get back...” he mumbled, giving us a weird little wave as he turned and walked back toward his cul-de-sac. I couldn’t have felt worse if I tried. I had lied to my best friend and Ben deserved better.

  “I’m sorry, Callie, I feel like I interrupted something, but my parents are looking for you and they’re not too happy that you ran off without telling anybody.”

  “I’m sorry. I had to talk to Ben. I just disappeared and he didn’t know what happened to me. I owed him some kind of explanation.”

  “So what did you tell him?” Shiv’s expression was controlled, but I was sure he was worried I had told Ben something about the real situation.

  I was beginning to feel a little annoyed, so my tone was sharper than I intended. “Don’t worry, I didn’t tell him the truth. Your secret is safe.”

  He gave me kind of a half-smile. “You know it’s your secret now too, don’t you?” he said softly. I hated that he was right, but I wasn’t going to give him the satisfaction of admitting that.

  “Let’s just get back,” I said as I turned and started walking back toward his place. When we got there his parents were already setting the table for lunch. There was basmati rice with peas and carrots, shrimp sautéed with spinach, curried lentils and a yoghurt salad with tomatoes and cucumber. I realized I was hungry, but first I had to give them some sort of explanation.

  “Callie, we were quite worried when Shiv said you weren’t in the house,” Nina began, her voice calm and composed but stern.

  “I’m sorry, I should have told you that I was going out,” I said as sincerely as I could. “My best friend Ben was worried about me and I knew he would go to my house looking for me.”

  “We understand, Callie,” Dev said, offering me the dish of rice. “We just need to make sure that you’re safe at all times. I’m sure you can appreciate that.” I had finished helping myself to the rice and passed the dish on to Shiv.

  “Look, Callie, we understand that you may be used to coming and going on your own, but things will have to change from now on,” Nina said. I decided I definitely did not like her and there were a few things I could have said to her, but my parents had raised me better than that. Maybe I was being sensitive, but I didn’t like her implication that my parents didn’t care when I came and went. But I knew this was not the time to get into all that so I swallowed my resentment with the shrimp.

  “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to worry you. I’ll remember to let someone know next time.”

  The rest of the meal was eaten in somewhat awkward silence, but then it was time to go to the center. I was quite intrigued to meet this Vikram and to see what the other Rakshakari were like. Mostly I was hoping they could help me find my parents.

  It was a long drive from their house to the center. About an hour later Dev pulled up outside a large compound surrounded by a wrought iron fence. A security guard opened the huge double gates to let the car pull in and Dev drove up a long, winding driveway and stopped under an awning in fron
t of the main entrance. It was all very grand. A large staircase led up to the front doors. Two large lion statues flanked the entrance. We got out of the car and walked up the steps. Before we made it to the front door, it was flung wide open and a man stepped out. He was Indian and seemed older than Dev, his black hair peppered liberally with gray. But his luxuriant moustache was his defining feature. It reminded me of the villains in the Bollywood movies that my mom loved to watch. I almost expected him to start twirling it between his fingers. Thankfully, he did nothing of the sort, but I still couldn’t stop staring at it as we reached the top of the stairs. He looked at me intently for a few moments. Then he gave a slight bow and smiled.

  “Welcome to the Rakshakari Center, Callie. We are honored to have you here.” And with that he turned around and led us inside. The interior of the mansion was even grander than I had expected. We stood on marble floors in the foyer. Statues of various Hindu deities stood in corners around us. Embroidered hangings adorned the walls. The scent of incense lingered in the air. To my right a curtain of marigolds separated the foyer from something on the other side. Vikram noticed me looking at it.

  “That is our temple room,” he said. “Come and have a look.”

  I looked at the others, but Dev nodded at me. “You go ahead, Callie. Nina and I have business to attend to.”

  “And I am going to the training room,” Shiv said. “We’ll catch up to you later.”

  And with that they were all gone, leaving me with Vikram.

  “Guess it’s just me then,” I said. Vikram didn’t say anything but just walked over to the flower curtain. He parted it and we went in. I stood for a moment to take everything in. The room was large, painted a golden yellow, which gave the feeling of being outdoors on a sunny day when in reality it was a typical cloudy Seattle day. There were more flowers everywhere, mostly marigolds, strung in garlands that hung from the statues of Durga, Kali, Saraswati and Lakshmi. I noticed that there were not many statues of gods. There were a few people praying in an alcove in a corner. Others were tending to the various offerings placed in front of the deities. Sweets, bowls of milk and more flowers. They were taking away the old ones and replacing them with fresh offerings. Soft music played in the background, creating a very tranquil atmosphere.