Realm of the Goddess

by Sabina Khan

  Chapter Eight

  When we got back, Shiv told his parents and Vikram what had happened. He left out the part about the plan to meet Ben, instead making it sound as if we had just run into him. It didn’t even matter to me. I was cold inside and felt nothing except icy rage and the burning desire to demolish everything that Mahisha stood for. He would not take one more thing from me.

  My fury was boiling over and I could feel the heat in my veins. I had to go somewhere where I could release it before I took it out on someone in the room. I looked at Shiv in a silent appeal. It only took a few seconds. The others were still talking, trying to figure out the next move. Shiv got up, told them we needed to leave and took me to the training hall. Tara was there, already getting things ready for the next day’s lessons. She looked surprised to see the two of us, but Shiv quickly told her what had happened. She nodded, handing me a pair of gloves, and nudged me toward the punching bag that hung from the ceiling in one corner of the gym.

  I was hesitant at first, but then the fury took over, guiding every ounce of anger I was feeling into my hands and into every punch that landed on the bag. Each time my fists made contact with the tough material, they exploded with pain, but I couldn’t stop...I didn’t want to stop. It was as if the hurt kept me from feeling the intense guilt that was threatening to take over. Guilt over Ben becoming a pawn in this cat-and-mouse game. Then there was the paralyzing fear that Ben...my Ben was at the mercy of those demons. I couldn’t allow my mind to go there. Instead I concentrated on each punch and continued until I felt every bone in my fingers would shatter. I stopped, wiping the sweat from my face and letting my arms fall. Tara and Shiv were watching me with the same strange expression.

  “Callie...” Shiv said, clearly not sure what to do next.

  “I’m okay.” I flopped down on a mat and Shiv and Tara joined me.

  “Callie...I’m so sorry about your friend —” Tara began, but I put up a hand.

  “I’m sorry, Tara...I can’t...I can’t deal with this right now.” I could feel my eyes welling up and the last thing I needed right now was to have a breakdown.

  “What are you going to do?” Shiv asked softly. I looked at him and shrugged, my shoulders rising and falling in defeat.

  “I don’t know what I can do.” I felt utterly hopeless. I had no idea where to even begin. “They used him to get to me. He doesn’t even have a clue about what’s going on. I lied to him...I never imagined they could get to him.” The tears threatened to spill over, and this time I let them as I remembered the bruises I had seen on his face in the light of the streetlamp at the park. He wouldn’t have known what was happening and what I was involved in. I couldn’t even begin to imagine the betrayal he must have felt when he realized I had kept so many secrets from him. I shook my head, angry for letting myself fall apart like this. I stood up and looked at Tara and Shiv.

  “Look...I appreciate that you are trying to help, but I need to focus right now. Ben’s my best friend. If anything happens to him...anything else...I will never forgive myself.”

  Shiv stood up and helped Tara to her feet.

  “Callie...whatever it takes,” Tara said and Shiv nodded.

  “We’re here for you. We’ll help you train and we won’t stop until you’re ready to face them,” Shiv said. Then he put an arm around my shoulders. “We’ll find him, Callie. I promise.”

  We walked back to the main house in silence. I knew I had a difficult road ahead of me, but somehow with Shiva and Tara by my side I was less terrified.

  When we joined Vikram, Dev and Nina, they didn’t ask why Shiv and I had left so abruptly. I had to assume that this was not the first time they had lived through something like this. In their line of work, loss was probably a professional hazard and handling it must be all too familiar to them. I was glad I didn’t have to explain myself, and besides, I had other things on my mind.

  “I want to know how to channel Kali,” I announced. They all looked at me. “You said that her powers will manifest in me. I think that the time has come.”

  “Callie,” Vikram said, shifting in his armchair by the fireplace. “Kali’s powers are not something to can turn on with the flip of a switch.”

  “Well, then tell me what I have to do,” I demanded, bristling at his condescending tone. A dark expression crossed his face for a fleeting moment and then it was gone. Nina, who had been sitting quietly in her chair, hastily intervened.

  “Callie, I can help you with this. I have spent many years studying the effects that the powers of the Goddess have on her avatars. There are ways to master them, and the sooner you learn them, the stronger you’ll be.”

  There was something about Nina that usually put me on edge, but I had to admit that now she was putting my mind at ease.

  “That would be great, Nina, thank you,” I said graciously.

  “Good, we’ll start immediately. Vikram, if we are done here...”

  “Yes, of course, Nina, you and Callie go ahead. We can finish up here on our own,” Vikram said, waving us off in his usual imperious manner. I decided I most definitely did not like Vikram very much. Maybe I was being childish, but there was something about him I couldn’t define that made me uneasy.

  Nina and I left the main house, and to my surprise we didn’t go to any of the school buildings. Instead she took me to the residence building where I was staying with the other students. We went up to my room. Although it was meant for double occupancy, I did not have a roommate. Nina indicated that I should sit on my bed. I did, not having the faintest idea what to expect.

  “Okay, Callie...I want you to relax. Just kick off your shoes and get comfortable. We are going to practice some meditation.”

  I stared at her in disbelief. This is how I am going to channel the Goddess. By meditating?

  “Trust me, I know what I’m doing. I have studied the art of Goddess Manifestation for many years. Just close your eyes and take deep breaths.”

  Was she for real? What the hell was Goddess Manifestation?

  I closed my eyes obediently and started breathing deeply. Soon I was hyperventilating and I was pretty sure that was not what Nina had meant by deep breaths. I’d never been good at yoga or any kind of meditation. When I’d started having the nightmares, my mom had tried to get me to do yoga with her, hoping that would stop them. I would either fall asleep or just worry about all the other things I could be doing instead of just lying there with my eyes closed. This wasn’t any better.

  “Nina, I don’t think this is working,” I said, opening my eyes. She didn’t reply. She had made herself comfortable on the bed across from mine and was clearly in a deep meditative state. She sat with her legs crossed in a traditional yoga pose, another feat I had never been able to master without toppling over. I toyed with the idea of using my finger to see if she would too, but I restrained myself. Eventually she opened her eyes and looked at me disapprovingly. Her thin lips curved downwards and her even thinner eyebrows arched in a subtle sign of disdain.

  “Callie, if you’re not going to take this seriously, then no one can help you.”

  “It’s not that...I just can’t do this right now. Don’t you know some spell or something?” I regretted the words as soon as they came out of my mouth. Nina was not amused.

  “Spell?” she said, her voice shrill and loud in the small room. “Do you think I am a witch?” Thankfully, it was a rhetorical question, but I still had to bite my tongue. I didn’t want her any more worked up than she already was.

  “No, of course not,” I managed after gulping down my original response. “I just meant that maybe there was something I could chant or...” I trailed off weakly.

  “Look, Callie, this is not going to be easy.” She sat down next to me, and when she spoke again her voice was considerably softer. “There is no short cut...you’re going to have to do this the hard way. You are a very lucky girl.” I smiled at that, shaking my head. “Lucky” was not the word I would use to describe myself these days
.

  “No, Callie, I’m serious. The Goddess has chosen you, so that must mean that you have the strength. Now you just have to tap into that.”

  In a way her words made sense. Why, of all the billions of women in the world, would I have been chosen by Kali? There had to be a reason. Even if I didn’t know what it was, I did know that it was something. Maybe I would just have to wait to figure out what exactly it was, but for now I had to learn how to channel her powers. Time was running out for my parents and for Ben. I took a deep breath and nodded.

  “Okay, I’ll try again.”

  Nina gave me a smile and stood up. “Alright, now this time try to focus your thoughts. Find something you can draw strength from and concentrate on that.”

  I closed my eyes. It took a few moments, but then I thought about my parents. In my mind I looked at the picture frame that I always kept on my nightstand. It was the three of us at the beach a few summers ago. Ben was with us and had taken the photo, which showed us leaning against a log. It was one of my most favorite family pictures, and it was what I focused on now. I remembered how happy I had been that day with my family, enjoying the togetherness. In my mind I tried to recreate the warmth and love when I was with my parents and how safe I felt. At first, nothing happened. But then I could feel some of the warmth from my thoughts seep into the rest of my consciousness like molasses, slowly coating my insides and leaving me feeling all gooey and soft. Then it changed, becoming something else, something that I could draw strength from. It lit me up from inside, this power, like I’d been connected to a battery and recharged. I opened my eyes, and from the look in Nina’s eyes I could tell that she’d noticed a change as well. I wondered if my hair was standing up or something. I reached out and touched it. Nope, my hair was fine.

  “How do you feel?” Nina asked, her eyes wide with wonder.

  “I’m not sure...I feel strong, I guess...but it’s strange...I can’t really describe it.”

  Nina looked a little disappointed. I wondered if she’d thought that I would have some spurt of supernatural power or something.

  “Okay, so what’s next?” I wasn’t going to waste time trying to make Nina feel better; I had plenty problems of my own to deal with.

  “Next, you continue preparing yourself. You have little time and much to learn.” She put a hand on my shoulder. “I have faith in you, Callie. Perhaps more than you have in yourself right now.”

  It took a few moments to swallow the lump in my throat. I didn’t want to show any weakness.

  “I can do it, Nina. I won’t let everyone down.” I spoke with much more conviction than I felt, but that was all I could do now. I had to believe I had it in me. And I had to train hard.

  <>~~<>~~<>

  The next day I decided to get an early start. I ate breakfast and joined Shiv and Tara in the training hall. They introduced me to a different weapon, a set of daggers called phurba. They were to be used at the same time. Tara demonstrated, and as I watched her once again, sparring with Shiv, I was in awe of the graceful yet deadly way in which she used them. I could only hope I would be half as good as she was by the time I actually came face to face with Mahisha. When Tara was done and gave the phurba to me, I held one in each hand, studying their appearance. They were as heavy as I expected, given that they were made of bronze. They were identical, their hilts bearing images of the goddesses, Durga, Shakti and Kali. Each was inlaid with what I assumed were precious stones.

  The blades were serrated and looked terrifying. I didn’t know if I could actually use them to hurt someone. But I did know that when the time came and there was a question of saving my parents, I wouldn’t hesitate. Tara showed me the correct way to hold them and I gripped one in each hand, my fingers in the grooves of the handles. Shiv picked up another set and we went at it. At first I was hesitant, seeing as I wasn’t wearing any protective gear. Apparently at the Academy they did not believe in training with gear that the Rakshakari wouldn’t be wearing during a real fight. It kind of made sense to me. I didn’t see the point of learning to fight safely, only to end up getting badly hurt when it came to the real action.

  I turned my focus back to the action. Shiv was taking it easy on me and Tara was shouting out instruction from the side. It took some time to get into a rhythm, but eventually I did and I could tell from the change in Tara’s voice that she noticed it too. I didn’t know when it started exactly, but at some point in our sparring something changed. It began deep inside, somewhere in my gut, a small worm of a feeling. It unraveled slowly and spread through the rest of my body until my fingertips tingled with it. The warmth kept building until it spilled over and then it was as if the daggers were just an extension of me. I felt as though I was performing some sort of a dance, the steps of which I had learned in some other existence. It came naturally, and without having to think about it I had Shiv on the floor with both daggers pointing down at him. It was as if a part of my brain still knew who I was and what I was doing, while another part of me heard echoes from a distant past. It was quite amazing, I had to admit, to feel in control for the first time in weeks. Plus, I loved the way Shiv was grinning up at me, his expression a mixture of smugness at knowing he’d been right and pride because I had finally figured out how to focus.

  We took a break and soon it was time for lunch. Thankfully, it consisted of pizza and salad. I was starving and wolfed down four slices. We stayed at the table longer than usual discussing the upcoming trip. After lunch Vikram asked us to join him in the library, where he had laid out several maps. As I sat down, I got a closer look. They looked like older maps, because some of the markings were different. Some were maps of British India from 1860, others were more recent. I noticed that on the older one someone had circled an area about 1,200 miles southeast of Kolkata. It was part of the Andaman Islands, which my parents and I had visited back when we still lived in Kolkata. The Andaman Islands were part of a colony the British government had chosen to use as a prison island of sorts during the centuries of the Raj. Of course, by the time we visited it had long been a resort island for tourists from all over the world. This little island that had been circled in red bore no name.

  “What is this place?” I asked, looking at Vikram.

  “That is North Sentinel Island,” he replied.

  “I’ve never heard of it,” I said, pulling the map closer to get a better look. The fact that there was no name on it struck me as odd. Vikram seemed to sense my confusion.

  “It’s not marked on any maps because it isn’t really part of India, or any other country, for that matter. There’s a small tribe living there. But they have been untouched by civilization.”

  “So why are we interested in this tribe?” I asked.

  “Well, because they are said to be the first people to come out of Africa around sixty thousand years ago. They have survived and managed to stay completely remote. No outsiders are allowed on the island.”

  That took a few moments to sink in. My mind was reeling. The fact that there was an area that no government or any other party had been able to take over was quite the feat. I wondered how they had done it. How had they kept everyone out for so many centuries and not fallen prey to the lures of modern life?

  “And,” Vikram continued, “because we have reason to believe there is an ancient temple hidden deep in the jungles. And that is where we think the Sword of Kali has been hidden.”

  “I thought outsiders can’t go there,” I said, confused because none of this was making any sense.

  “That’s true, but we have accounts that go back thousands of years, and they provide sufficient evidence that what we suspect is true.”

  “Think about it, Callie,” Dev said. “What place is more perfect than one so remote, no one will ever think of looking there?” He looked more animated than I had seen him since we’d met.

  It did sound possible. The battle between Mahisha and Kali had taken place about five thousand years ago. Her sword was never found, but according to Nina
, even within the anthropological community there were those who believed such a sword existed. So if somehow it had been hidden on this remote island that time had forgotten, it would have been kept safely out of Mahisha’s hands. It was the perfect hiding place. A sliver of excitement began to grow deep inside me, as though finally things were beginning to fall into place. I knew there were many other details left to iron out, but at least this was a start. We had a quick dinner of sandwiches in the library as we talked more about the native inhabitants of the island and the very infrequent encounters outsiders had with them. From what I heard it seemed that each time it had been a disaster for those who encroached on their shores.

  I listened to them talk for hours, asking questions whenever I felt I was missing a big piece of the puzzle. As the evening wore on I found myself fading. I knew I was done for the day.

  “I’m sorry, but is it okay if I go to bed? It’s been a long day,” I said, standing up and stretching my aching legs. I felt like an old woman, but I knew that tomorrow morning it would be even worse.

  “Yes, of course, you need to rest,” Vikram said. I wished everyone goodnight and left them to continue. I went upstairs, took a hot shower and got ready for bed. I was asleep as soon as my head touched the pillow. That night I slept without dreams or nightmares. It was the best sleep I’d had in a long time.

  Chapter Nine

  The next day dawned bright and sunny and I woke up feeling refreshed and ready for another day of training. In fact, Seattle was enjoying an unusual string of good weather, and the initiates and I took full advantage and trained outside most days. Tara had me running laps every morning, and I hated her for it. Apparently it was to improve my stamina. I hadn’t realized my stamina needed improving, but she was the boss as far as my training was concerned. I was also required to spend time with Mr. Perkins, professor of demonology, in addition to my regular class time. This I did not mind since I had a lot of catching up to do. Plus it was sort of fascinating. Some of the demons we studied were the stuff of horror movies and nightmares. I learned about Makra demons, Kleesha demons, Kaama demons, Agni demons, and Maya demons. Some would burn their victims from the inside out while others would drive them crazy by creating illusions in their minds. Before I knew it, two weeks had passed and it was time for Shiv and I to go on our trip. On some level I think we all knew that this trip could end up being a total disaster, but given the circumstances and the urgency, this was the best option. I felt that Vikram and the others hoped the rest of Kali’s powers would manifest somehow in me between now and when I actually came to face Mahisha.