Realm of the Goddess

by Sabina Khan

  Uncle Suresh’s home was in an upscale neighborhood judging by the luxurious homes with sprawling gardens we passed on the way. Tall wrought iron gates separated his estate from the outside world. I realized this had to be a requirement of any Rakshakari home, given the kind of lifestyle they led. We went down a long, winding driveway and finally stopped in front of a massive entrance flanked by actual armed guards in uniform. I saw Shiv raise an eyebrow as we pulled up.

  “Uncle Suresh, what’s with all the security?” he asked.

  His uncle turned to him with a wry smile. “Things have changed since you were living here, Shiv. We cannot take any chances.”

  Shiv didn’t respond as we got out of the car and went up the marble steps to the main door. All of a sudden a flash of black and brown shot out the front door and jumped on Shiv. The next moment he was on the floor of the entrance rolling around with his beloved Dobby. I just stood and watched. The expression on his face was one of sheer joy.

  After they both calmed down, Dobby came to me and put his cold nose on my hand. As I ruffled the fur on his head, he wagged his tail and gave me kisses. I was in heaven. After a while I looked up and saw a young woman trying to greet us. She wore a white sari with a thin yellow border running along the bottom. Because she seemed so young, I was surprised to see her in white, the color of widows. She folded her hands in a namaste, as did we, and after giving her some instructions, Uncle Suresh ushered us into the lavish interior of his home. The living room, or drawing room as it was called in India, was tastefully furnished with antiques. By the time we were seated, the young woman had brought in a tray of tea and assorted cakes, cookies and other goodies. I was starving and wasn’t shy about helping myself, while Uncle Suresh and Shiv made small talk about relatives and acquaintances. I was curious about the young woman, so with the excuse of having to use the washroom, I went to find the kitchen. She was there, chopping vegetables, and was a bit startled when I walked in.

  I asked in Bengali for her name, but she replied in English. This didn’t really surprise me; given that there were around twenty-six different languages spoken in India, English was often the only common language, a remnant of two centuries of British rule. Her name was Aruna.

  “Aruna...I’m Callie. Thank you for the tea and cakes. They were delicious.” She didn’t respond, but her shy smile told me that she was pleased. I waited for her to say something and was rewarded for my patience.

  “I have heard about you from Mr. Suresh and the others.” She glanced up from her vegetables and looked directly at me for the first time. “I didn’t think that you would be so young,” she said softly.

  I smiled. She was really pretty, with delicate features. She wore no makeup yet her skin was flawless, her doe-shaped eyes dark and fringed in long black lashes. Once again I wondered about her white sari, but I couldn’t very well ask her something so personal. Even though I’d just met her, I felt profound sadness when I looked at her.

  “Can I help you with anything?” I asked, feeling bad that she was stuck in the hot kitchen, no doubt preparing our evening meal. As soon as the words came out of my mouth I regretted them. She looked up at me pleadingly.

  “Please...no, thank you...I can manage on my own.” She nodded toward the living room. “Why don’t you go and relax with the others, it’s so hot in here.”

  I got the distinct feeling that I had been dismissed, so I turned around to go back. She was probably worried that she’d get in trouble if Uncle Suresh found me helping her. As I walked back I could hear Shiv and his uncle. It sounded like they were arguing. All I caught was a snippet of what they were saying.

  “...talk about this later,” Shiv was saying as I walked in.

  “Callie, there you are. You must be exhausted from your long trip.”

  Uncle Suresh looked over at Shiv. “Why don’t you show Callie to her room and let her freshen up. Dinner should be ready soon.”

  “Uncle Suresh, I don’t think I can eat anything tonight. Would you mind if I just went to bed?” I asked.

  “Of course, I understand. I hope you will be comfortable. If you need anything at all, please just ask Aruna. She sleeps downstairs and can bring you anything you need.”

  I thanked him and followed Shiv out of the living room into the foyer. A spiral marble staircase led up to the second floor. As we walked up I ran my hand over the smooth mother-of-pearl inlaid banister. And I couldn’t take my eyes off the richly colored tapestries that hung on the walls. These Rakshakari sure knew how to live. Shiv led me up the stairs, down a hallway and came to a stop in front of a heavy wooden door.

  “You should get some rest, Callie. We still have a lot of preparation to do before we head off for North Sentinel Islands.” I nodded and he turned away to leave, but I grabbed his sleeve.

  “Shiv...wait. What were you guys talking about when I walked in? Is everything alright?”

  “Yes, of course. We were just talking about some family stuff...don’t worry.” And with that he turned around and walked away. Something didn’t feel right, but I figured I was just really tired and needed to rest. With the twelve-hour time difference I knew I was going to feel awful in the morning. I went in and realized that someone, probably Aruna, had already brought up my luggage, and I gratefully took my PJs out and changed. I barely managed to brush my teeth before passing out. The last thing I remembered was the heavenly softness of the pillow as my head sank into it.

  Chapter Eleven

  The next morning I rose bright and early, feeling well rested and eager. I showered, changed into jeans and a light cotton tunic and made my way downstairs. Shiv wasn’t anywhere in sight, but breakfast was served. It looked delicious and I was ravenous. Uncle Suresh was up too, and we made small talk over light, fluffy pooris and curried chickpeas. Dobby came around and vacuumed any crumbs that fell from the table. Every now and then he would come and stand conveniently close enough for me to scratch his ears. Shiv joined us after a while and announced that since Uncle Suresh was still waiting for some permits to come through, we would be taking a trip to the Kali temple. I perked up, thinking that maybe we would get some leads or at least some information. I doubted the same sadhu who had given me the pendant was still there. So many years had gone by, and he had already seemed so old back then. Either way, it couldn’t hurt. Plus I really wanted to get out and see the city...my city, which still held so many memories.

  I was sad that I couldn’t go visit my aunts and cousins, but I’d decided already that it would be too difficult to tell them about my parents, and I knew I wouldn’t be able to lie to them about why I was really there. My grandmother had passed away a few years ago. She would have been able to help me. I knew this deep inside because I had always felt a deep connection to her.

  After breakfast we were on our way. Uncle Suresh insisted we take his car and driver. I was grateful for the air conditioning as we cut across the insanity that was Kolkata traffic. I knew the heat would be unbearable once we got out of the car, so I sat back and enjoyed the ride. I was struck by the fact that it didn’t feel as though any time had passed since I was last here. What should have taken a mere ten minutes ended up being an almost hour-long drive that involved many twists and turns along Kolkata’s winding alleys. Finally we were there, and as I stepped out of the car, the humidity slapped me in the face. There was no other way to describe it. It was a physical thing that made your clothes stick to you in a highly unflattering manner and turned your hair into a ball of frizz. Luckily, I was not concerned with my appearance right now.

  I was desperate for anything that would lead me closer to finding my parents. It was no coincidence that the sadhu had insisted on giving me that skull pendant here all those years ago. As we walked up the concrete steps to the inner temple, I filled Shiv in on the events of that day ten years ago. He didn’t seem too surprised, which made sense given the fact that his whole life had been about all this. We went inside to find the priest, and it turned out it was Mr. Bhandal, the s
ame man whom my parents had come to see ten years ago. I didn’t want to get my hopes too high, but I felt I finally might get some information about what had happened to my parents. I knew it was a long shot, but there was a voice inside me, probably born of desperation, that was telling me I would find answers here. I took a deep breath and began to tell Mr. Bhandal about our visit years ago. It took him a while, but eventually he did remember.

  “Yes...I do recall a couple from America. The wife was Indian but the husband was white, I remember,” he said, tugging at a little tuft of hair at the back of his head. He wore a saffron-colored dhoti and had white sandalwood paste on his forehead. Even though it had been a long time, being here brought a rush of memories. Or maybe it was just that I wished I could travel back in time to when my parents were safe.

  “Do you remember what kind of information they were looking for?” I asked, realizing with a sinking feeling that I was about to be disappointed.

  “Actually, your parents came back again once more after that day. I could never forget that visit,” he said, his eyes narrowing, as if just realizing who I was.

  “I don’t understand...when did they come back?”

  “You were very young. They said they needed help. They said they had to find a sadhu, someone they had met outside the temple.”

  My mind was reeling. If my parents had come back here, it must have been after the nightmares started. Why would they have been looking for the sadhu unless...unless they knew it had something to do with the pendant? Which brought me back to my original dilemma. Had they known about all this the whole time? So many questions were swirling around in my head, I felt as if it was going to explode. But I had to focus and I couldn’t afford to lose it right now.

  “Mr. Bhandal,” I said as calmly as I could, “would you be able to tell me why my parents came to you the first time? It had to do with some research they were doing.”

  “As a matter of fact, I may have copies of some of the papers they brought with them. But you have to understand...it has been a long time, it may have been thrown away,” he said apologetically. He started walking further into the temple and Shiv and I followed. The inside was darker and therefore much cooler, a relief from the heat. He took us to a room at the back, off the main hallway. It was small and cramped, with a desk overflowing with papers in one corner. Against the wall were a couple of tall bookshelves, also filled with cardboard boxes. There was a tiny fridge in the corner and he reached into it to pull out two cans of soda, which he offered to us. I took mine gratefully since my throat was parched.

  “Please have a seat while I try to find the papers. It may take some time,” he said, squatting on the floor in front of the bookshelves and pulling down a couple of boxes. As he rummaged around in them I had to resist the urge to sneeze as dust flew around the room and settled on every surface.

  “Mr. Bhandal,” I said after what seemed an interminable time, “maybe if we all look together, we could find it faster.”

  He stood up, surprisingly limber for someone with such a large frame, and swatted the dust off his dhoti. Then he looked at me with his bushy white eyebrows meeting in the middle.

  “You are not a patient one, are you?” he said, waving a sheaf of papers. “I think I have found what you are looking for.”

  I had to stop myself from jumping up and grabbing them from his hand. Shiv must have noticed because I could feel him glaring at me. I think I was actually embarrassing him. I chuckled inwardly at the thought and then turned my attention back to Mr. Bhandal, who was spreading the papers on top of the desk. I stood up and walked to the other side to look over his shoulder.

  “It looks like your parents were very interested in Kali’s weapons. Most of what is in here is about the six weapons she carried.” He picked up the top few sheets and handed them to me. I walked back over to where Shiv was sitting and sat back down next to him. I skimmed the first couple of pages quickly and then handed them to Shiv. Mr. Bhandal was right. All the information on these pages was about the stuff I’d been learning about at the Academy. It talked about the sword, the mace, the bow and arrows, the thunderbolt, the chakra and the trident. I put the papers down and looked at Shiv.

  “They knew...and they never said anything...” I felt so betrayed and angry, I could hear my voice rising. Shiv shot me a warning glance and moved his gaze over to where Mr. Bhandal was still poring over the rest of the papers. I got it. Trust no one. Vikram could not have been more paranoid about the fact that Mahisha’s people were everywhere. I tried to keep calm, but it was difficult. Mr. Bhandal seemed completely oblivious. I could see his lips moving as he read what looked like handwritten parts on the paper. It was probably my mom’s writing, in which the letters always looked like they were falling off the page. All of a sudden he looked up.

  “I remember now,” he said, looking quite excited at this sudden revival of his memory. “They were particularly interested in any information about Kali’s sword.”

  “Kali’s sword?” I repeated, not wanting to face the reality that I was the last to know what was going on with me. Everyone had known about this...Shiv, the other Rakshakaris and now my parents.

  “Yes, Kali’s sword,” he repeated slowly as if talking to a particularly young child. “Are you alright, my dear? You look a little pale.” I nodded slowly, thinking of all the years I had spent agonizing over losing my mind. All the friends I had lost because I was the weird girl who screamed from her nightmares during sleepovers.

  “Yes, thank you, Mr. Bhandal, I’m fine. Thanks for all your help.” I gathered the bunch of papers that were scattered on the desk. “Do you mind if I take these?”

  He shook his head, handing me the rest. I looked at Shiv and he stood up. I had to leave. I felt as if I couldn’t breathe in here, and I needed to get some fresh air.

  We both thanked him profusely and left. The driver came running back to the car from the tea stall across the street when he saw us coming down the stairs, and we rode back to the house in silence. My head was spinning, the questions and anger creating a maelstrom of emotions that threatened to boil over at any moment. Shiv must have understood what was going on inside because he did not press me to talk, and for that I was grateful. By the time we got back it was past lunchtime, not that I could have eaten anyway. But Aruna made me a cooling mango smoothie and I felt it would be rude to refuse. I took it up to my room and sat down on the bed. I had to sort out all this new information and what it meant. According to the priest and his papers, my parents had gone to him looking for answers about Kali’s weapons. One thing was certain: they had known what was going on all along. What I did not understand was why they wouldn’t have told me. But even through all the anger and resentment I was feeling toward them at the moment, I was certain about another thing — they loved me unconditionally and they must have had a good reason for not telling me.

  Thinking about that calmed me. I would find out their reasons soon enough...I hoped. Now I had to figure out if their research could help me in some way. In my dream my dad had told me not to worry about them and to focus on finding the sword. That was what had kept me going until now. Even when Ben was taken and I felt as if I should have done something to stop it, I had kept reminding myself that my parents were still alive, and somehow they would guide me through this. And I would get Ben back. I had to, because if I didn’t I could never make it up to him for being such a rotten friend. It occurred to me that although I was supposedly a reincarnation of Kali, it wasn’t as if I suddenly had superpowers. I would have to rely on my own strength and ability. Strangely enough, this thought did not fill me with trepidation; rather, it fuelled my determination. I was not going to wait around for some goddess manifestation as Nina had suggested. When I’d trained with Tara back in Seattle, I had actually surprised myself sometimes. Even though at the time it felt like Kali’s powers seeping through, making me so strong and focused, I realized now that my own anger and passion had given me the ability to fight. And I co
uld do better, much better. I went downstairs after a while, and soon it was time for dinner.

  “Uncle Suresh, when do you think we will be traveling to the island?” I asked between forkfuls of biryani. The spicy rice and vegetable casserole made me reach for my third glass of water.

  “It may take longer than we had expected, Callie,” Uncle Suresh said, helping himself to some more cucumber and yogurt salad. “We have run into some problems with the transport and the permits.”

  “Permits?” I was confused.

  “North Sentinel Island doesn’t fall officially under India’s jurisdiction. It has to do with the indigenous inhabitants of the island who’ve never had any contact with the outside world,” Uncle Suresh explained.

  “So it’s been difficult to get people who are willing to take us there. The island is not exactly known for being welcoming,” Shiv added.

  I realized this could actually work for me. “Uncle Suresh, I would like to spend more time training. As you know, I haven’t really had much time, and I have a lot to learn.”

  Uncle Suresh looked pleased. He picked up his glass, drinking almost half of the water before he answered. “Aruna might be able to help you with that,” he said to my surprise. “She’s an expert in kalaripayattu. And we have plenty of space here for you to train.”