Craving Her Love

by Hope Paris

Showering took a lot longer than it should have. Jason tended to my body for so long that the water went cold. But I wasn’t complaining, not when he could still make my body sing. The positions he put us in just had me exploding all over again.

  I am feeling thoroughly relaxed as I sit beside Jason, holding his hand as we drive towards my apartment. I have heard of being sated after sex, but until a few days ago I didn’t know that it existed. Now I know it does, and it feels great. I feel lighter than I have in a long time.

  Jason can’t seem to keep his hands off of me, even as we drive through the city. His thumb keeps running circles around the back of my hand, which I find both soothing and arousing. I settle into my seat and watch the world go by.

  When was the last time I felt this comfortable with a man? I can’t remember. Probably never.

  As we turn into the street where my new apartment is, I start to feel the nerves coming back. I will have to face Claire. The prospect of coming into contact with my little sister does not sit well with me. I’m not about to admit it out loud, but I’m scared of her. She is getting more erratic, more out of control. I’m sure that she shoved me deliberately, but I’m not going to push it any further; it will upset Mom, and she’s my priority. Claire knows it.

  I understand that she’s suffering from our father leaving and learning that she was adopted, but she’s lashed out at us for long enough. I should be putting a stop to it, but I’m not sure that I can.

  Jason is right. I am too soft on her. But it’s going to take a lot for me to swallow my pride and agree with him out loud.

  “Mel?”

  I look around. Jason is frowning at me. Then I realize that we’re right outside my apartment building. I hadn’t even noticed that we’d arrived. I sit up.

  “I’m okay.”

  Jason looks like he doesn’t believe me. I stare back at him. He can think all he wants, but I’m not going to change my answer. Finally, Jason sighs and looks away, reaching for his door.

  “Let’s go up. Leah’s expecting us.”

  “Okay.”

  I undo my seatbelt, and Jason is around my side of the car before I’m done, opening the door for me. He helps me out, pressing a kiss to my hand before he shuts the door. Then he links his fingers with mine. It’s a nice feeling, and I find myself leaning into him as we walk up to the front door. I’ve had relationships before where men acted like gentlemen with me, but none of them had made me feel like this—not so safe, comforted, warm.

  But is Jason going to stay around for long-term or is he going after a couple of weeks? Don’t commit to anything until you know where he stands with you.

  That’s not easy when he won’t discuss us at all.

  And that is where I’m in trouble. I am enjoying this time with Jason so much but I’m also aware of our current predicament. We may be sexually involved for now, but that doesn’t mean we will be once everything has settled down.

  I certainly don’t want it to be, but unless Jason tells me what he wants out of this in the long-term, I have to take what I can get—and expect a broken heart at the end of it.

  We step into the elevator and head up to my floor. As we ride up, Jason releases my hand and tucks his arm around me, drawing me against his side. He kisses me, his mouth lingering on mine before he pulls away.

  “What was that for?”

  “Because I wanted to.” Jason smiles and kisses my forehead. “Is it possible to get addicted to one person in such a short space of time?”

  “Are you saying that you’re addicted to me?”

  “I’m addicted to something when you’re around. I just have to find out what.” Jason nuzzles my hair. “I just know I don’t want you going anywhere for now.”

  I swallow. That’s the closest I have gotten to an admission from him.

  “Are you like this with all your PAs?”

  Jason looks at me, his expression intense.

  “You’re not just a PA, Mel.”

  He doesn’t extend on that comment. I’m about to push him when the doors open to my floor. Stepping out of Jason’s arms, I head to my apartment door and fish out my keys. Jason is close behind me as I head into the apartment.

  Leah is sitting on the couch with her laptop, wearing glasses as she frowns at the screen. She looks up as we come in and puts the laptop aside, taking her glasses off and rising to her feet.

  “Melanie.” She nods a greeting at Jason. “Mr. Ford. Is everything alright?”

  “It’s fine, Leah.” Jason touches my back and I resist the urge to shiver. “Melanie and I are going to head off for a few days. With everything going on, we’re going to have a break from it all once Melanie’s packed a few things.”

  “Of course, Mr. Ford.”

  There is no surprise in Leah’s voice. No judgement in her expression. Just acceptance. I’m beginning to wonder how much she’s experienced with Jason over the years. I find myself hoping that she doesn’t have a bad opinion of me. With her close connection to Jason, I don’t want her to see me seen in a bad light.

  I look around. There is no indication that there is anyone else in the apartment. It’s ten-thirty in the morning and Mom isn’t around. She’s normally an early riser.

  “Where’s Mom? She’s normally up by now.”

  “She’s still asleep.” Leah sighs. “She was up all night wondering where Claire was. I tried to get her to sleep, and she finally went to bed about five-thirty.”

  “You’ve been up all night?” Jason asks.

  “I caught a few hours.” Leah shrugs. “I’m used to it. I’ll manage, but Victoria looked like she was about to drop.”

  I feel a pang of regret. Mom was worrying about Claire all night, and I wasn’t here for her, to calm her down. It should have been me doing that, not Leah. Then I feel Jason’s hand squeezing my shoulder, as if he knows that I’m getting upset. That soothes me a little. I have to remind myself that I’m not my mother’s keeper, and that Jason needed me last night. I chose to take care of Jason’s needs. And mine.

  I shouldn’t feel guilty about this at all. Claire is a woman now. I am not responsible for her.

  That’s easy to say, but not so easy to shift.

  “Claire hasn’t come home at all, then?” I ask. “Can’t you get hold of her?”

  Leah shakes her head.

  “No. We called multiple times, texted almost every ten minutes. She never responded and then her cell phone went directly to voicemail shortly after midnight.” She frowns. “Could she be drinking?”

  I don’t want to think about it, but what else would Claire be doing at night? She’s been out drinking before and come back completely hungover or high or both.

  “It’s possible. Or she’s doing drugs.”

  Leah’s frown deepens.

  “She’s eighteen. She shouldn’t be doing that.”

  “When you have friends who are older and able to get hold of the strong stuff, it is perfectly possible. No one’s standing over her.” I gulp. Now I feel embarrassed. “Either one of those is enough to keep her on a bender for a couple of days.”

  Jason growls, which makes me jump. He steps away from me and folds his arms with an angry frown.

  “She’s far too young for any of that. I don’t understand how she thinks that’s okay.”

  I feel like I should defend her, but I can’t. I’m tired of it. What I really want to do is have Claire come home and then go straight off to therapy or jail or rehab, whichever is most suitable for her. I’m fed up with her attitude and how she treats Mom and I. Trying to defend her actions in front of my lover and the woman he has hired to help us out with our finances is too shameful for me. I look at the floor, unable to meet their eyes.

  Jason sighs.

  “Look, Mel, you need to be stronger about this. I know you’re strong underneath. You’re not responsible for Claire. She’s eighteen now—an adult. If she’s going to screw her life up, she’s on her own. She doesn’t need to drag you and your mother down with her.
”

  He’s right. And it makes me feel awful that I have to be told this by someone outside of the family. My stomach churns. I nod, still unable to look at him.

  “I need to go and get changed.” I head towards my bedroom—a room I haven’t actually slept in yet. “Get a few things.”

  Jason

  Melanie spends a little too long in her bedroom, enough to get me worried. But Leah assures me that Melanie is fine. I decide to trust Leah on it—I don’t want to crowd Melanie too much.

  She’s been through a lot lately, and I know it’s hard to ask for help with her sister. Claire is putting a strain on both her mother and sister with her actions. If she knows this and doesn’t care, the girl is one cold individual.

  I have a lot on my mind right now with Miguel Salazar and wondering who has it in for me enough that they would sabotage something so important for me and my company. But to focus completely on that, I need Melanie with me. I can’t have her distracted because of her sister. Melanie is good for me, and she’s kept me on an even balance after such a short space of time together. I want her with me, and I want her focus.

  And I know she won’t get it together unless I help her. And I want to help her. Claire is clearly making Melanie miserable. I want to take that away from her.

  There are a lot of things I want to do to Claire Page, but I know getting even will just alienate me from Melanie. And I don’t want that.

  It takes a while, but Melanie emerges from her bedroom with a bag and a fresh outfit—a pair of jeans with a simple sleeveless shirt in pale green, her hair tied back in a simple ponytail. She looks fresh and young with this look. She keeps her eyes averted as she joins me, focusing on Leah and asking her to get Victoria to text when she wakes up.

  We are silent as we go back to the car, and Melanie doesn’t respond when I say that I’m taking her to lunch. I’m starting to get hungry and there’s a nice little place nearby that I want to take Melanie to. It’s been a while since I took a girl out anywhere that wasn’t a hotel. Melanie is making me do a lot of firsts lately.

  And that doesn’t scare me as much as I thought it would.

  We arrive at the restaurant and the maitre d’ greets us warmly, making a few warm comments that make Melanie blush. He leads us to a table towards the back of the restaurant. As a frequent customer, they know my favorite table—one that’s a little apart from everyone else, a little intimate, but in a place where I can see the rest of the room. I like privacy while I eat.

  Melanie grips my hand tightly as we walk through the tables. It is only half busy, a little early for the lunch hour, and she’s practically plastered up against my side.

  “What is it?”

  “This feels a little too flashy for me, Jason.”

  I almost burst out laughing. This was the least flashy place I knew.

  “You blend in perfectly here. You’ve got nothing to worry about.”

  “You blend in here. I don’t. And people are staring at me.”

  I hear the deprecating tone in her voice and it makes me want to wrap her in my arms and not let go. I squeeze her hand.

  “People are looking at you, yes, but they’re not thinking that you look out of place. They see a beautiful woman who is having lunch with a man and they’re envious because they want to be the one taking you to lunch.”

  “You tease me too much, Jason.” Melanie keeps her head down as we reach our table. “That’s not it.”

  I sigh. We’re seated and handed menus before the maitre d’ walks off. I can see Melanie is still feeling uncomfortable, and I begin to have second thoughts. Is she uncomfortable about being seen with me? That doesn’t seem likely. Does she really think she’s not attractive enough to be with me?

  I don’t understand women’s emotions sometimes. They’re all over the place. Melanie’s confidence seems to have disappeared. Maybe it’s because she’s worried over her mother. That would make sense. She’s concerned about Victoria's health and how Claire is behaving. If I were in that situation, I’d be thinking the same thing. Melanie loves her mother dearly, and her family will always come first.

  The problem is, she thinks family comes before her health. Last night was probably the first time Melanie has done something for herself instead of for her family. Then again, she was putting my needs first rather than hers. I was her priority.

  I make a mental note to make sure Melanie takes time for herself. If that means I manage her mother and sister’s timetables so Melanie can have time to focus on herself, so be it. As long as Melanie feels good.

  I want to make her feel good.

  Melanie focuses on the menu, silently reading through the options. I don’t push her, letting her go at her own speed. If I push her too much, Melanie’s going to clam up and I won’t get anything out of her. And we do need to talk about her sister, how she’s trying to sabotage both Melanie’s job and her relationship with me—if you can call what we have right now a relationship.

  And I want to call it that. Melanie is much more than a PA to me. I hope she realizes that.

  Claire has to stop and I need Melanie on board.

  A waiter comes over and takes our orders. Then he takes the menus and heads off with a promise of bringing our drinks over. That’s when I speak, watching as Melanie folds and unfolds her napkin.

  “What are we going to do about Claire, then?”

  “What?” Melanie stops folding and stares at me. “We?”

  “She’s my tenant now, Mel. I own that apartment. If she keeps going on as she is, she’s going to violate the lease agreement.”

  Melanie’s eyes widen. Then she takes a deep breath and squares her shoulders.

  “Mom and I can handle it.”

  “With all due respect, how’s that going?”

  Melanie’s expression tightens. Her eyes flash at me. She folds her hands on the table.

  “Things are not as simple as you make them out to be. We have had to deal with so many problems that it’s impossible to keep count. We’ve tried everything. You think you can get Claire to listen to you because you’ve got money? It doesn’t mean everything.”

  “Who said anything about money?” I sit forward. “But seeing as you’ve brought up the topic of money, maybe I can get her the help that she needs that you couldn’t access before. Privately funded rehab, for one, where the treatments are more focused and you’re less likely to slip through the cracks.”

  “Rehab?” Melanie stares at me. “You want to put Claire into private rehab?”

  “She needs to go, Mel. She can’t carry on like this. It’s affecting both you and your mother. I’m surprised neither of you have collapsed yet. She’s out of control and you can’t deny that.”

  Melanie’s lips tighten. She doesn’t respond. I take a deep breath and reach across to take her hand. She doesn’t pull away.

  “This isn’t what I want to do, Mel, but if you’re determined to help her, then I’ll do it to help you.”

  “Because of me, you’ll do it?” Melanie sounds dazed.

  “Yes. I want Claire to fuck off out of your life. She’s hurt you and your mother more times than I want to count and she’s tried to steal from me. I’m not having it. Something’s wrong with her and it needs to be addressed before someone gets seriously hurt, or killed.” Melanie winces. “But you don’t want her to be in trouble. So, it’s rehab—a one-time offer from me, and if she blows that, she’s on her own.”

  In that event, we do it my way. I’ll have her evicted and put on the street. Melanie and Victoria might not forgive me for that, but I’m fed up with seeing an eighteen-year-old brat treat her family the way she has. It’s not okay. Melanie has to realize that one day.

  Maybe she already does, but the bond of family is still strong. I understand that, but there has to be a line drawn. Claire blurred the line a long time ago and now it needs to be redrawn—this time on my terms.

  She won’t like it, but enough is enough.

  I hear someone la
ughing. The sound cuts through the chatter. And it sounds very familiar. Across from me, Melanie has also stilled, her face paling.

  “You heard that, too, didn’t you?”

  Melanie nods. I look across the restaurant. There’s a couple at a table by the window—a young woman wearing smart grey pants and a bright orange vest with her hair down, along with a handsome older man wearing a suit. She’s sitting close to him, giggling at something he’s said and constantly touching his arm. And the man is lapping it up.

  Claire is here. Having lunch with Miguel. And they’re looking more than a little acquainted with each other. Especially when Claire leans over and kisses Miguel. The bastard doesn’t pull away. If anything, he puts his arm around her and says something that makes Claire laugh.

  What the fuck?

  I feel like I’ve been slapped in the face. I can’t believe what I’m seeing. How is this possible? Now I know who it is that said not to go through with the investment.

  “Oh, my God,” Melanie gasps. “Is that Mr. Salazar?”

  “It is.” I scowl at the sight. “I didn’t know Claire knew him.”

  “Neither did I.” Melanie frowns. “You don’t think . . . She’s the one who put the investment on hold?”

  “I was coming to that conclusion,” I say grimly. “Especially after those social media posts about you yesterday.”

  Who else could it be? Claire is the only one I seem to have pissed off enough to go after me. The girl has now somehow gotten her claws into Miguel and got him doubting me enough that he’s starting to back off. And because I refused to drop the theft charges against her? It sounds too ridiculous.

  Then again, Claire is an immature brat. Of course she would be malicious.

  I watch as Claire gets up, whispering something to Miguel, before taking her bag and heading in the direction of the restrooms. Melanie stands up as well.

  “Will you excuse me a moment, Jason?” She steps away from me and leaves the table. “I’ll be back in a moment.”

  “What are you doing?”

  But Melanie’s already walking away from me, heading towards the restrooms. And just seeing the tension in her body and the angry stride, I’m glad that I’m not going to be anywhere near this.