Selected Assistant

by Robin Roseau

  “Everything we brought is human friendly,” said one of the new Catseye. “Hello, Amanda.”

  Amanda got up from the chair and took a hug. Then there were more introductions, and I met Violet and Bluebell. The other two were a species called Octal and were called Sudden Quiver and Silent Seas.

  “Is one of you male?” Felicia asked.

  “No,” said Sudden Quiver. “You see this difference.” She gestured to her forehead. “These begin to develop when I became our queen.”

  “It’s very complicated biology,” Audra said. “I’m starving. Posey, will you make a plate for me?”

  “Of course.”

  We ate buffet style. I sat back quietly, utterly awed and overwhelmed by everything, but when a lull in the conversation arrived, I said, “Audra.” She looked up at me. “It is my opinion a nursing mother shouldn’t be volunteered for a particular duty. I’ll do it, but do you think I could hold her later.”

  “Deal,” Audra said immediately.

  “You can hold me later, too, if you want,” said Dahlia from Bay’s lap.

  “I would love to hold you,” I said.

  “Not yet,” Bay said, gazing at the little creature with such an expression. I thought some expressions might transcend species.

  “Not yet,” agreed the child. She looked over her shoulder. “You are very soft and cuddly, Bay.”

  Bay chittered, and I thought he was pleased.

  “How does anyone get any work done with this much cuteness around?” Amanda asked.

  “Some days it’s a challenge,” Andie said.

  “Could I ask a question?” I asked.

  “That’s a waste of time,” Jasmine said. “You can always ask.”

  “Thank you,” I said. “How old is Dahlia? She looks so small, but she’s speaking full sentences.”

  Dahlia turned to me when she heard her name. “I’m three and a half Earth years old.”

  “Catseye mature faster than human children,” Violet explained. “And they are little sponges for knowledge. We aren’t necessarily markedly smarter than humans, but the things we’re good at learning, we’re very, very good at learning. Language is one. Dahlia will finish the equivalent of a human high school education about age twelve and will probably have a masters or even doctorate degree about the age a human is entering college. Maybe not for the doctorate.”

  “In effect,” Posey said, “we bypass some of the learning stages of humans, but a lot of that is because our play time tends to be more educational than play time for human children, and we let our children direct their own education far more than human children do.”

  “Muriel is teaching me programming,” Dahlia proclaimed.

  “Programming,” I echoed.

  “Beginning programming,” Muriel clarified.

  Test Drive

  I got to hold both Dahlia and Callaia. I nearly wet myself in joy, holding the baby, but Dahlia was exceedingly sweet, and I could have been happy holding her for hours.

  But we’d come for work, and so eventually we watched nearly everyone leave with promises to see them again, “Maybe tomorrow.” The three of us were left with Muriel, Bay, and Jasmine.

  “I think the best thing to do is to show you the new avatar,” Jasmine said. “Muriel, Darling, should we put you back first?”

  “Could you take me out for a while before you go to bed, Jasmine?” Muriel asked.

  “Of course, Darling,” Jasmine said. “Let’s wheel you down to Andie, and then we’ll show them the robotics lab.”

  I thought it was interesting watching Muriel as a robot push the bed holding the real Muriel, and my heart went out to her. But then Jasmine and Bay took us in one direction; Muriel went in another.

  They led us through the facility and eventually into a large room that wasn’t all that different from our own work spaces. The ceiling was very tall, and along one side sat our crates, already open and waiting for us. To the left, along the wall, was Muriel’s new avatar.

  We came to a stop facing it. Amanda was the first to speak. “Bay, when I saw the current avatar, I was stunned. I don’t know what to say about this one.”

  Bay chittered happily.

  It was a robot. It was clearly a robot. It looked like a fusion of a human and a robot, a sort of bionic woman. The abdomen and legs were very ex machina, but it had a human-appearing face, arms, and hands. It was wearing tall leather boots, the only clothing. I thought if it were dressed, it might be hard to tell it apart from a sleeping human. Apparently, I wasn’t the only one who thought so.

  “Muriel prefers this one for the appearance?” Amanda asked.

  Bay chittered again, but it was Jasmine who answered. “No. The skin can feel everything natural skin can.”

  “Oh, shit,” I said. “Seriously?”

  “Yes,” Jasmine said.

  “May I touch it?” Felicia asked.

  “Be our guest.”

  Felicia stepped closer. She ran a hand along the arm. Then she clasped the hand like she was giving it a handshake.

  “Bay,” she whispered, then nothing else.

  “That isn’t the hard part,” he said. “I could have made the first one look like this.”

  “I like the first one,” Jasmine said. “Bay, everyone loves the first one.”

  He chittered again, then return to English. “There were two difficult parts. The first was to give her a more expressive face.”

  “The current one has expressions,” I said.

  “Yes. This one is better, much better. But the real advances are in the sensors. I did face, hands, and arms. There are other sensors throughout the body. If you touch it anywhere, Muriel knows, but it isn’t the same. This uses the technology from four species.”

  “Humans being one of them,” Jasmine clarified.

  The door opened, and Muriel strode through. She stepped over to us and said, “Bay is an artist.”

  Again, Bay chittered before stepping over to lean against the much taller robot. She put her arm around him.

  “I think what we should do is let Taisha give it a test drive,” Jasmine said. “Muriel will need to teach you. Then it’s time for her to get some sleep, so I’ll go see to her. Bay can teach you the major systems, Felicia, and the two of you can discuss your plan of attack.”

  “That works,” Felicia said.

  “Give me a minute with Taisha,” Amanda said. She stepped away, and I hurried after her. We came to a stop on the other side of the shop, and she turned to me. “You didn’t sign up for something like this, and I’m not sure Finley knew this was part of the plan. If you don’t want to do this, I will.”

  “Are you kidding?” I said. “I’m dying to try it!”

  “It put Muriel in the hospital.”

  “If you want to do it, Amanda, you’re the boss’s wife. But you don’t have to. I bet Felicia asks for her turn, too. It’s alien tech. It’s an alien virtual reality. You’re not really going to take that away from me after teasing me with it, are you?”

  She laughed. “No. But if you want me to take a turn, I can.”

  “If it comes to that, I’ll tell you.”

  “All right then. Ready?”

  “You bet.”

  We turned and walked back, the other four watching us. “What do I have to do?”

  “We have a version of Muriel’s bed,” Jasmine said. She gestured. “It only has the basic biomedical monitoring, which is tied into the systems in our health clinic. But it otherwise has the same systems as her bed.”

  We walked over. The bed was inert as we approached, but then the lights on the side came alive. “Have any of the failures been from this bed?” Felicia asked.

  “No,” Jasmine said.

  “Do those displays indicate the status of the person inside?” I asked.

  “Yes, the basics.”

  “Is more complete information available somewhere?”

  “Yes,” Jasmine said. “They can bring up quite a bit in the medical center.
”

  “I could be wrong, but I imagine that this is going to take time. I imagine Felicia and I will spend a lot of time alone.”

  “That is likely.”

  “I would really like if she has access to that information,” I said. “Is that possible?”

  “Yes,” Jasmine said. “It will take some time.”

  “I can do it in the morning,” Muriel offered.

  “Thank you. What do I do?”

  “Climb in,” Jasmine said. “Muriel will control the system, and you’ll enter Virtual Reality. She’ll guide you from there.”

  “All right.” I headed for the bed, but she set a tentacle on my arm.

  “It works better if you divest yourself of your clothing.”

  “Of course, it does,” I said. “Bay, turn around.” I didn’t argue further. I turned my own back and began undressing. Amanda took things from me as I removed them. Then, without glancing at anyone, I climbed into the bed. I squirmed around for a moment, and then it began closing over me, offering me modesty. Soon, I was nearly entirely covered, with just my head and shoulders visible.

  “Any final words?” Felicia asked.

  “Cute,” I said.

  Jasmine moved closer. “The first time, the bed will have to calibrate to you. You may notice some sensations. It takes a few minutes. Try to relax.”

  “Are you getting monitoring data?”

  “Yes,” Muriel said. The robot moved closer. “Taisha, you do not have to do this.”

  “I take it everything is elevated.”

  “Rapid breathing, and your heart rate is 97.”

  I closed my eyes and took several deep, careful breaths, willing myself to calm down. I opened again and looked up at them. “I’m about to test drive one of the most advanced robotic devices to walk on this planet. Is that right, Bay?”

  “Not one of the most advanced,” he said. “The most advanced.”

  “I live for this,” I said. “Let’s do it.”

  “All right,” Jasmine said. “Closing it up. Remember, the calibration takes a few minutes. It shouldn’t be too disconcerting.”

  “Someone’s monitoring me?”

  “I am,” Muriel said.

  “Do it.”

  The bed closed. I was still wearing the visor, but with nothing to see, it was dark. I tried to access command mode, but the visor said, “System integration in progress.”

  I sat quietly. At first, nothing appeared to be happening. But then I began to feel a variety of sensations. Heat, then cold. My right hand began to vibrate. That was a little disconcerting, especially when my left leg began to twitch. The worst was when it felt like things were crawling on my face. But I was held securely and couldn't move.

  Then…

  Light.

  I was sitting in a meadow. There was a woman sitting opposite me. She smiled. “Can you hear me?” She looked elfin and stunningly beautiful.

  “Yes. Muriel?”

  “Yes.” She looked me up and down. I looked down.

  “You dog!” I exclaimed. “Put some clothes on me!”

  She laughed. There was a pause, and then she said, “Spoil sport. There.” I checked again, and I was dressed in something out of a Boris Vallejo painting.

  “Muriel,” I complained.

  “Are you really going to deny the crippled girl?”

  “You really milk that, don’t you?”

  “Are you offended?”

  I thought about it. “No. Change this into something unlikely to make me self-conscious.”

  “Fine,” she said. “You’re definitely a spoil sport. There.”

  I looked down and I was wearing a nun’s habit. I snorted. “Seriously?”

  “You’re never satisfied,” she said. I could hear the amusement.

  “Why can you talk so well here?”

  “Because it’s not really me talking,” she said. “It’s me trying to talk. The equipment senses that and figures out what I’m doing.”

  “Is that what I’m doing, too?”

  “Yes.”

  “It’s difficult to believe it calibrates that quickly.”

  “They’ve had a lot of practice,” she said. “And this isn’t the first time you’ve sat in one of these chairs.”

  “Oh, I suppose,” I agreed. “I tell you what. You can have a little fun with my clothing.”

  “How about this?” I looked down. She’d enhanced my chest and applied more than a little lift. In keeping with her appearance, I was dressed like something from a Dungeons and Dragons campaign, but I thought it was cool.

  “Nice,” I said.

  “I’ll show you how to do it yourself, but not tonight,” she said. “You wouldn’t believe the things I can do in this world.”

  I looked around. “It’s beautiful. Is this a real place?”

  “Yes. This is one of the Catseye worlds.”

  “Really?” I asked. “Are you just teasing me?”

  “No. Jasmine comes here sometimes.”

  “That has to be hard,” I said. “To come so far.”

  “I couldn’t do it. Could you?”

  “I really don’t know. And receive the sort of welcome they did? No.”

  “There are people like you,” she said. “Jasmine was really pleased when she learned you were coming. She wanted to meet you.”

  “Really? Why?”

  “I’m not sure. Don’t ask me if she has special plans for you. She doesn’t share that with me. You might be able to milk Andie though.” She paused. “All right. This is the virtual reality world. When I first came here, it was amazing. They brought me to the Sydney Opera House. I asked them to put me back there and let me die.”

  “Oh, Muriel.”

  “What did they do with you during testing?”

  “You don’t know?”

  “No.”

  “A walk-through Paris, but instead of Parisians, everyone was an alien. I couldn’t figure out what to look at.”

  She laughed. “I bet. Well, this is better. It used to be sort of a program. We were along for the ride. They’ve been getting better and better. We have full autonomy, and we can feel things, but that part is sort of crude. The machines can give the most realistic sensations, but the computer doesn’t know what to simulate.” Then she glided closer and reached her hand out to touch my arm. I felt… something… but it didn’t really feel like a touch. “I have the code, but it’s not human, and it’s amazingly complex. I can code to their API, but then I’m limited to what’s supported. So far, that’s all I’ve done. It lets me bring in different places or play with the models. But I only have so much time.”

  “Sure.”

  “I’m going to help you learn how to interact here. First, let’s get you standing up. You don’t do it like you do normally. Instead, you just float up and unfold your body. I’ll help you this time.” And then I began to rise from the ground as if she was lifting me. I straightened my legs, and after a moment, I was steady on my feet.

  “You won’t fall down,” she said. “We couldn’t play sports or something here. But we can move around.” And she demonstrated, walking herself. I followed her, and it seemed quite normal. “Good,” she said. “We’re not going to spend a lot of time here, but I wanted to show you a little bit. We can do more next time, and I can access your visor for more control.”

  “Thanks.”

  “I’m going to put you into the avatar now. It’s active and waiting for you. You’ll still be supported by the hoist, but Bay will lower you to your feet once you’re steady. Everything will go black and then fade back in. Ready?”

  “Ready.”

  The world faded. It was black, and I felt nothing for several heartbeats, and then the world brightened. I was looking over everyone’s head, but I lowered my gaze, and my vision dropped.

  “Wow,” I said. And I heard my own voice, sounding very mechanical. “Hey, why do I sound like that?”

  “I imagine,” said Jasmine, “Because Muriel has a se
nse of humor.”

  “Ooh,” I said, still sounding like a caricature of a robot, “Can you give me any voice?”

  “Probably not any voice,” Muriel said. “But try me.”

  “Saoirse Ronan,” I said.

  “Ooh,” Felicia said. “She’s got that Irish thing.”

  “Just a moment…” Muriel said. “Working… working… Try it now.”

  “What do I sound like? Muriel!” Everyone else laughed. I’d sounded like Donald Duck.

  “Oops,” she said. “Sorry. My fingers slipped. Okay, read the line.”

  I was about to ask, “What line?” when words appeared, hovering in the air. “What are you talking about? Hey! Whose voice is that?”

  “Edna Mode,” Jasmine said. “Muriel, seriously?”

  “Who doesn’t love Edna?” Muriel asked. “Okay, fine. Everyone is a critic. There.”

  At this point, I didn’t trust her, and so I said cautiously, “What did you do now? Hey, who is this?”

  “Bond,” Amanda said. “James Bond.”

  “This doesn’t sound at all like Daniel Craig.”

  Amanda covered her eyes. “Sean Connery,” she said, shaking her head. “Sean Connery.”

  “Muriel,” I said in a thick, and quite scarily, male Scottish accent. “Do we really have time for this?”

  “I suppose not,” she replied. “Tell me you’re not having fun.”

  “No comment. Do you even have Saoirse Ronan?”

  “The whole time you were practicing voices, I’ve been searching,” she replied. “There. Try that.”

  “Testing, testing,” I said.

  “You chicken,” Felicia proclaimed.

  “Fine. I wish I could sound like an Irish girl living in Ireland.” I listened to myself. “Does Saoirse Ronan sound this sultry.”

  “She sounds exactly like that,” Muriel said.

  “It’s perfect,” Amanda said. She was smirking.

  But of all the voices Muriel had given me, I thought this was the best. “I’ll keep it,” I said. “Now what do we do?”

  “Now Bay lets you down,” Jasmine said.