Selected Assistant

by Robin Roseau

  “At the base is a female Niecor and Greygreen,” Violet said. “At the top is the Loris, a male Luxan, a female Martian, and a male Hobble.”

  “The Loris and Luxan are a team?”

  “Yes,” Violet confirmed.

  “Do Lorises hate being touched?”

  “They prefer controlling the touch,” Violet explained, “at least when dealing with other species.”

  “So, he wouldn’t let me pet him.”

  “Is that what you want?”

  “And a date.”

  “With the Loris?”

  “The Luxan. Is he already married?”

  “He is not,” Violet replied.

  “I want permission to touch the Loris, but if he wants to control it, that’s fine, and a date with the Luxan. He can take me to a nice restaurant.”

  “That could be arranged,” Violet said.

  “In Paris, I think.”

  I laughed. Violet snuffled. “You can start with that and see what he says.”

  “I suppose he can’t do that. Security.”

  “There are restaurants friendly to us,” she replied, “very good restaurants. Three are in France, but only one of the three is in Paris.”

  “Where are the other two?”

  “Bordeaux and Cannes.”

  “Then he can pick between them,” she said. “How do I negotiate?”

  “You can yell.”

  “I bet you can patch me through to them, can’t you?”

  “I can, but I’m not offering to. Yell, Ms. Browning.”

  There was a pause, and then she said, firmly. “Hey. You. Yeah, you, you cute little Loris!”

  “All Lorises are cute,” someone said. It didn’t sound like a Loris. “Which cute Loris do you mean?”

  “I’m fairly sure there’s only one cute Loris within listening distance. If I’m wrong, you can let me know.”

  “I am listening, human prey.” That sounded like a Loris.

  “What am I offered if I agree to surrender to your team?”

  “We will treat you quite well as you become our prisoner, but you need not surrender. We will have you soon enough.”

  “All right, then. I’ll wait here.”

  There was a pause, and then the Loris asked, “Was there something you would like?”

  “Yes, as a matter of fact, there is. You.”

  “Me?” he squeaked.

  “I do not wish to make you uncomfortable, but I’m dying to touch you. Maybe that’s asking too much.”

  Again, there was a pause. “You want to touch me. No, you want to pet me. I’m not a dog.”

  “You’re far cuter than a dog. Well, not as cute as a Golden Retriever puppy, but cutter than any adult dog. Do you really blame me, Sir Loris?”

  “My name is Chervil,” he said.

  “Are you telling me ‘no’, Chervil? I don’t want to be offensive. It was suggested I negotiate; this is what I thought of.”

  “How would you want to touch me?” Chervil asked. “I can’t imagine you are asking for a minute or two, and that’s all.”

  “Perhaps… God, I feel like an idiot, but I’m going to ask anyway. I’m too big to sit in your lap, but you’re not too big to sit in mine for a while.”

  I heard various sounds, including what sounded like snuffling from Violet.

  “For how long?” the Loris finally asked.

  “Only as long as you’re comfortable,” Danette replied. “If that’s only a minute, I understand. If it’s until my lap grows numb as we talk or something, I’d be in heaven.”

  “I will agree, if you surrender.”

  “I want something from your Luxan partner, too.”

  “What would you like, human prey?”

  “Dinner at a nice restaurant in France.”

  That elicited fresh laughter, and then the Loris asked, “Am I invited to France, too?”

  “No, this would be a date, but if you want to spend more time with me than a few minutes in my lap, I’d like that. A lot. Perhaps you’ll take me to another restaurant. How about it, Mr. Luxan? I’ll surrender for a promise of a Loris in my lap and a date at a French restaurant with you.”

  “Are you asking me on a romantic encounter?”

  “Yes, but it’s just a date. Do Luxan date?”

  “Not in the human fashion, but I am willing to give it a try,” he replied. “Chervil and I agree to your terms as we understand them, but I don’t want you to surrender.”

  “I don’t understand.”

  “We’ll help you up, and then we want you to run. You won’t get far.”

  Danette laughed. “Not if the other teams are going to catch me instead.”

  “They will pursue the remaining prey,” Chervil said.

  “Then we have agreement,” Danette said. “The thing is, I don’t know how to climb up.”

  “Mr. Veil Nebula,” Violet said. “Perhaps you can send Chervil down with the body harness. Ms. Browning, please remain exactly where you are and let them see to your safe retrieval.”

  “Will do,” Danette agreed.

  There was a pause, then Violet said, “I’m going to have to focus on this now, Taisha.”

  “I don’t get to watch?”

  “No. What is your plan?”

  “Did you have a preference?”

  “No. I can tell you’re near exhaustion. All three of you are.”

  “I don’t have a plan,” I said, “And you have more important things to worry about.”

  “Do you have a preference over who catches you?”

  “The females, but it’s fine either way, Violet.” I paused. “It’s mostly downhill from here if I keep heading west.”

  “It’s thick, thick jungle the remaining distance. There’s a trail.”

  “A lot of trails in what is otherwise pristine wilderness.”

  “We make the trails,” she replied.

  “Can you give me a map to the trail or something? Does it head west?”

  “All the way to a cove somewhat north of Beginnings,” she said. “There’s a pointer and a distance appearing on your visor.”

  “I see it.”

  “I’ll send the Niecor and Greygreen in your direction,” she said.

  “See you later.”

  * * * *

  They took longer than I expected. Violet had been correct: the jungle was thick. I stayed to the trail. I knew I wouldn’t make it to the ocean, and I was beyond ready to be done. My feet hurt, and I was hot and sweaty besides.

  And so, I wasn’t entirely unhappy when I heard something fly over the tops of the trees, moving quickly. I didn’t see anything through the heavy canopy, but there was a whoosh, perhaps two whooshes together, coming from behind then passing over the top of my head.

  “Well, Taisha. You have done very well. You’ll be the second to last who is caught.”

  “They haven’t caught me yet, and I think they might have trouble. They’re in some sort of aircraft.”

  “Some sort,” she agreed.

  “I presume Danette is fine.”

  “Of course. All trussed up, just like you will be shortly.”

  “We’ll see.” I took a hard left and began working into the thick, thick undergrowth. Following the trail had been difficult; this was beyond difficult.

  “Oh, don’t do that,” she said.

  “Why not?”

  “Let them chase you, Taisha.”

  “They can chase me just fine.”

  “Yes, they can, but you can’t hurry.”

  “I bet they can’t take whatever they were flying into this stuff.”

  “Not quickly, but yes, they can. Taisha, some of the hunters in this event are ambush predators.”

  “What does that mean?”

  “They lie in wait, like a snake, perhaps.”

  “Okay. And?”

  “And some are stalkers.”

  “Like a cat.”

  “Yes. And some prefer to chase down their prey.”

  �
��Wolves.”

  “Yes. The larger species prefer a chase.”

  “That’s what the Luxan wanted.”

  “Yes.”

  “It’s what the Niecor is going to want. What’s her name?”

  “Forever Twilight.”

  “I like that,” I said. “I don’t remember what the other one is.”

  “A female Greygreen who has chosen the name Makiko Pulsar. She will enjoy a chase as well. Finding you in here…”

  “This is better strategy, Violet.”

  “If the goal is to hide, or to put off capture as long as you can, yes. But you’re not remotely near the time limit, and the goal is for everyone to have a good time.”

  I thought about it. “All right.” I turned around. “Um. Am I going the right way?”

  “Yes. It’s not far back to the trail.”

  It wasn’t far, but it was work. I leaned over, panting for a moment, and then I straightened. “Unless they circled, they’re west of me now. Why aren’t they already here?”

  “It took them time to find a place to descend. They’re now moving towards you, but far more slowly to avoid flying into a tree.”

  “That sounds like it might hurt. Which way do you want me to go?”

  “It won’t really matter now, Taisha,” she said. “They’re going more slowly than they were, but significantly faster than you can walk.”

  “When I see them, you want me to run, don’t you?”

  “Yes. Please stay to the trail, but make the final capture as difficult for them as you can without engaging in combat.”

  “Have you been coaching all of us?” I turned west. I’d been east. Maybe I’d see a little more of the forest.

  “No. Only a few.”

  “So, Princeton is going to be the last caught,” I muttered. “That will make him insufferable.”

  “He is a very good man,” Violet replied. “Why the animosity?”

  “Were you watching at the beginning? He elected himself leader, and he was a little chauvinistic about it.”

  “I think you’re reading things into his behavior, Taisha,” she replied. “You don’t know anything about him.”

  “I know he’s a guy who thinks he’s hot shit.”

  “What’s really wrong? You’ve performed quite well.”

  “I got lucky,” I said. “And that’s not what this is about.”

  “He would have been the third caught. He tried to protect Genevieve, but the hunters who first found them were specifically hoping for a woman, and so they captured her instead of him.”

  “See? Chauvinist. He thinks women need protecting.” I paused. “I’m not going to worry about that.”

  “You’re tired.”

  “Yes, and I hope there’s a bath waiting for me.” I came to a stop, took three slow breaths, and straightened. “I’m fine.” I began walking again.

  It took another couple of minutes before I saw my pursuers. They were both riding what could be described as aerial jet skis. I came to a stop, staring at them. They zipped past me, both a little higher than my head. I spun to watch them, and they each turned back towards me. “You have got to be kidding me.”

  “Now would be a great time to run,” Violet prompted me.

  “If I were seriously trying to evade them, I’d dive back into the forest, and we both know it.”

  “Please run.”

  “Fine.” I turned and ran.

  After that, it would be a while before I had enough wind to give voice. I heard them behind me. When I looked over my shoulder, I saw them both coming after me. Their air skis were faster than I was, but they remained behind me, following single file.

  I ran perhaps two or three hundred yards with the aliens following me before I decided this was ridiculous, and I was out of wind. I came to a stop, bent over and breathing hard. And behind me, the aliens also came to a stop, the Greygreen in front, the Niecor a little higher and to the Greygreen’s right, looking past her at me.

  “What. Are. They. Waiting. For?” I panted.

  “Perhaps they’re letting you catch your breath,” Violet replied.

  They waited, watching me. I slowly caught my breath then turned to face them. “Well?” I asked in a firm voice.

  “Please run,” Violet said gently.

  “I’ve been running.”

  “And I’d like you to run again.”

  “Why?” I paused. “There’s something in front of me. That’s why it took them so long.”

  “You’re not going to run into anything,” Violet said.

  I sighed and turned around, but I didn’t run. I simply jogged. Slowly. Violet didn’t prompt me to run faster.

  It was another minute before I emerged into open land. I came to a stop right at the edge of the forest then turned to my pursuers. I set my hands on my hips. They came to a stop, twenty yards from me. “I presume the chase ends here.”

  “Perhaps in another thirty meters or so,” Violet said. “Do be a dear.”

  “Is that spelled D-E-A-R or D-E-E-R?”

  She snuffled a laugh. “Perhaps both.”

  I backed away from my pursuers. They followed me, then spread out. When I had backed the thirty meters that Violet had asked for, with no signal I saw, both of the air skis surged forward at me. I gave out a squeak and tripped over backwards just as the Greygreen fired something at me.

  I landed on my ass, then flat on my back. “Oof.”

  But the Greygreen missed. I heard something hit the grass past me, and there was a cable attaching it to her air ski. “Ha!” I laughed. “Saved by my own clumsiness. Again.”

  The Niecor said something; I didn’t hear what. Then she unlimbered a huge-ass, Terminator-sized bazooka gun thing from over her shoulder and leveled it at me. I squeaked again and dived to my left, rolled, got to my feet, and ran.

  Right under her air sled.

  She didn’t fire at me. Instead her machine gave a roar, and she flashed past me before spinning sideways and dropping five feet, right at the mouth of the trail leading into the forest. She wobbled just a moment then aimed the huge gun at me again. I skidded to a stop and turned right, trying to put off her aim. I ran five steps then reversed direction again, heading back towards the Greygreen. I didn’t see what she was doing, but I put her machine between me and the Niecor and came to a stop. When the Niecor went one direction, I went the other, making sure she didn’t have a shot at me. She went the other way, and I circled back. Then I circled more and more, and she came around the Greygreen, leveling her gun. I turned and ran, directly underneath the Greygreen’s sled and running for the forest trail again.

  I almost made it, but the Niecor flashed past me. I actually ran into her machine, catching myself with my hands. I froze, looking up at her. We stared at each other. “I’m surprised you haven’t climbed off that machine and just grabbed me.”

  “We’ll explain after we finish catching you,” she said.

  She didn’t have her huge gun pointed at me. “Why haven’t you fired that at me?”

  “They’re slow to reload, so I don’t want to fire and miss.”

  “You could hardly miss now.”

  “It is unsafe from this close. You would be hurt.”

  “You could have grabbed me when I bumped into your machine.”

  “And yet, we’re going to shoot you. It is time to run, lovely prey.”

  “Is it?”

  “It wouldn’t be at all sporting for Makiko to shoot you like this.”

  I spun. The Greygreen’s air ski thing was aimed at me. I turned back to the Niecor. “Hers is built into the machine, but yours is portable?”

  “It’s heavy,” she replied. “Even for me. They are sized for an Ardent. Do you know the Ardents?” I nodded. “I have one in my machine as well.”

  Her machine was floating in the air, and it really did resemble a jet ski, or a floating motorcycle, or something. And on the handlebars were the controls.

  And a big, red button. I reached out,
slammed my open palm on it, and then turned and ran, ducking around the other side of the Niecor, putting her between me and the Greygreen.

  I didn’t get to see everything, as I took off, but her machine stopped making noise, and then there was a bang and a cry of surprise, mixed together.

  I ran for the forest, and then I was inside the trees.

  But then something slammed into my back and wrapped around me, capturing both my arms. I tripped and began to fall, but then I gave out an “oof” as I was jerked into the air.

  It was deeply uncomfortable. I swung and jerked around as the Greygreen flew past me, and then I was pulled along behind her, perhaps five feet in the air. She turned around, and I swung wide, nearly hitting one of the trees, but only nearly. Then we raced forward, quite quickly, with me dangling helplessly.

  We flew over the Niecor. I got a look at her. Her air sled was sitting on the ground and she was standing beside it, her gun up, watching me.

  The Greygreen took me for an uncomfortable circle of the field, a fairly rapid circle, and I didn’t at all care for it. But then she brought us to a stop. I swung for a moment, but the Niecor stepped forward and grabbed me, and then they lowered me to the ground, the Niecor pinning me in place as I panted heavily.

  I heard the air ski settle down and grow quiet, and then there were footsteps. I turned my head as the Greygreen knelt down, looking at me as I lay on my stomach. “Did I damage the machine?”

  “No,” said the Niecor. “Only my pride. Well played, little human.”

  “I’m going to tell you this. If you bring me back dangling like that, I will be on the next flight home.”

  “Are you upset?” asked the Greygreen.

  “No, but I will be now that you know how I feel,” I said. “Good shot, Makiko.”

  “We must finish trussing you,” said the Niecor.

  “Do you think perhaps proper introductions are in order?”

  “Shortly.”

  I didn’t try to fight them. While it had looked like Priya had been shot multiple times, the remaining restraints were applied more gently. I became entirely wrapped, arms and legs, and then they sat me up.

  “I am Makiko,” said the Greygreen. “You belong to us now.”

  “I am Forever Twilight,” said the Niecor.

  “Do I use your entire name?”

  “If I may call you Taisha, you may call me Forever.”