Selected Assistant

by Robin Roseau

  “I don’t care for that form,” she said. “But perhaps you’re right.”

  “Perhaps I’m not, but I hope you’ll invite me, and I hope we can dance. I’d like that.”

  “I would, too. I think it’s time for me to walk you home.”

  “All right.”

  We didn’t speak, and we didn’t touch. But we walked together, neither of us in a hurry. Outside my door, we turned to each other. “We started off poorly,” she said.

  “We did,” I agreed.

  She set her hand on my arm. I looked down at it, then looked up, smiling. “I’m sorry I tried to…” She trailed off.

  In response, I set my hand over hers, momentarily trapping her. “You’ve apologized. I’ll be offended if you host your dance and don’t invite me, or if you don’t invite me to dance.”

  “You’re a relatively young human.” I was trying to figure out if she was offering some sort of slight. But I nodded agreement. “You’re doing better in all of this than I am.”

  “Ah. Our situations are different. You have responsibilities that I don’t have. It’s making it harder for you, I think.”

  “Maybe you’re right.” She paused, and she hadn’t tried to take her hand away, but she looked down at it then up at me. “I’m trying to imagine being in your position.”

  “The recipient of so much exotic attention?”

  “Exactly so.”

  “It has me turned around and questioning myself,” I admitted. “I’m handling it better when I don’t try to look too far ahead. And ultimately, it’s not why I’m here, so when it gets to be too much, I go to work.” Then I squeezed her hand, still on my arm, before withdrawing mine.

  Prudence looked down at my arm and then ran her hand up my arm to my shoulder. She looked into my eyes. “I’m sorry for the awkward way we began,” she said. “It was entirely my fault. Thank you for forgiving my mistakes.”

  “You’re welcome.”

  “I–” She gave herself a little shake, which was interesting. “I didn’t even know I had these questions, and I’m not sure why you bring them out in me.”

  “That seems like basic psychology,” I replied. “I must seem exceedingly exotic to you. Amongst humans, at least, we are frequently attracted to people we find exotic in appearance. Perhaps Tutor are the same. Next, other people you respect are having the same questions, and that has you thinking. Plus, with humans, the unattainable holds extra attraction. Because of the attention your staff is giving me, I’m unattainable for you. I don’t imagine it has anything to do with me at all; I’m just the right human in the right place.”

  She cocked her head. “How much of that do you believe?”

  I shrugged. “I’m speaking from a human perspective. Perhaps Tutor psychology is entirely different. Neither of us are psychologists for our own species, much less one evolved light years apart.”

  “And being the right human in the right place? That seems self-deprecating and to completely ignore your own obvious attributes.”

  “Was that a compliment, Prudence?” I asked with a smile. I didn’t wait for a response. “I’m reasonably attractive and reasonably intelligent, but attractive human women are everywhere, and many of them far more beautiful than I am.” I offered another shrug, although she may not have recognized it as having any meaning. “As I said, the right human in the right place.”

  “I think, Taisha, that you are exactly the right human in the right place. I feel better knowing I don’t need to, hmm. You humans might say ‘mother hen’. I don’t need to mother hen any of my employees who grow increasingly fond of you.”

  I smiled wryly. “I’m glad you approve.”

  She squeezed my hand. “Good night, Taisha.”

  “Thank you for a nice evening, Prudence,” I replied. “Good night.”

  I watched her walk away. Yet again I wished I had my visor back, as I would have liked Jasmine’s perspective. But as she hadn’t seen fit to return it, and she hadn’t provided other means of contacting her, she would simply need to remain ignorant of the evening’s conversations.

  Or, at least for now, of my own puzzlement.

  Niecor

  Neither Felicia nor I decided Sunday was an excuse to take a day off work. We spent the morning setting up test after test, trying to convince the avatar to reset. Nothing worked. Several times, we gave each other knowing looks. And then, just when I was going to mention lunch, the robotics laboratory door opened, and several of the aliens walked in, Amanda with them. I saw Jasmine, Forever Twilight, and Cape and Bight, the Martians who Felicia had been spending time with.

  Before they reached us, Felicia and I gave each other one more look. “I know,” I said.

  “We can keep trying.”

  “We’re wasting time. We both know what we need to do.” I paused. “Although…”

  “What?”

  “Maybe the problem is the stuff Bay removed, or disabled, or whatever he did. We already know it’s a system reset caused by an overload. Face it, Felicia, the reason it’s not failing is because something is missing that was there when I first reproduced the failure. That either means something that’s turned off, or it requires a human in the mix.”

  Jasmine heard that part. They all probably heard it. She sort of… expanded, like a peacock billowing out its feathers. I wondered if it were conscious, but it was certainly difficult to ignore. Everyone turned to her, even Forever Twilight, the Niecor who had helped to catch me during the hunt.

  “What is she arguing to do, Felicia?”

  “We’re not arguing,” Felicia said. “We’re voicing what we both know.” She shifted her gaze back to me. “Not yet.”

  “Fine,” I said. “But Bay needs to put it back, or turn them back on, or reverse whatever it is he did. We’re not testing the same system that I broke.” I turned to Jasmine. “I will not touch the brain interface without your approval, but we need to eliminate the other choices.” I paused. “Are you really this distrusting?”

  “I’m sorry,” she replied. “Years of working with human women.”

  “And we’re that untrustworthy?”

  “Think about the situation most of them have been in,” she added. “And Andie and both sisters have quoted the line about being easier to beg forgiveness than permission. For that matter, Muriel can be as manipulative in that way as anyone.”

  “I bet the only time you say ‘no’ to her is when it’s about her own health.”

  “Pretty much,” Jasmine agreed.

  “Jasmine, there’s no way I’m getting back into this thing with the intention of failing it without proper safety settings, and I can’t do that myself. If you need to test drive it to understand why I’m so adamant, then let’s set that up.”

  “You’re right,” she said. “But not today. We came to get you for lunch. You have a date this evening with Forever Twilight, but she thought you might like to begin early. Dr. Depths prescribed light exercise for you.”

  “We could all use a little light exercise,” Amanda added.

  “Are you calling me soft?” Felicia asked.

  “Is that really what you heard her say?” Jasmine said.

  “She’s teasing me,” Amanda explained.

  “I’m not sure being hunted would be light exercise,” I pointed out.

  “While I would very, very much enjoy hunting you,” Forever said to me. “We agree with you.”

  “Although it was mentioned,” Amanda added. “We actually have a request.”

  “Prudence told me you suggested we hold a dance,” Jasmine said. “Which I think is an absolutely lovely idea.”

  “I think I thought it would be an evening event, and with more warning so people could be there.”

  “Yes. Wednesday evening.”

  “None of us know how to dance,” Forever explained.

  “Oh,” I said. “Who is coming?”

  “Everyone.”

  “Unless one of these two has had a past life,” Felicia sai
d, gesturing to Amanda and me. “None of us are dance instructors.”

  “We just need to work things out,” Amanda said.

  “The plan,” Jasmine said, “Is lunch and then meet in one of the meeting rooms here. We’ve used it for dances before.”

  “I love the idea,” I said. “So, our date is starting now, Forever?”

  “No,” Jasmine answered for her. “Your date begins at dinner, but a shared activity begins now. Which means you will be getting passed around from one set of alien arms to another.”

  I laughed. “And will there be tentacles in the mix?”

  “I can stay for a while,” Jasmine said. “But I have other duties. I’ll stay long enough for a dance with each of the humans, if no one minds that I put myself at the front of the line.”

  “No one minds,” Amanda declared. “Felicia, shut down here.”

  * * * *

  “Well, shall we?” Jasmine said with a gesture. We got up and saw to our things, and then she got us moving towards the dining hall exit. In the hallway, Cape and Bight moved to flank Felicia, taking her arms. Forever Twilight stepped beside Amanda, collecting her arm. Jasmine moved to me, and then she wrapped a tentacle around my head, covering my eyes.

  “Hey!” I complained.

  “We’ve already turned off their visors,” Jasmine said. “You’re not wearing one, but if you prefer, we can use a hood.” She wrapped me in more tentacles and got us moving.

  “We’ve been traipsing all over this facility.”

  “Not hardly,” Jasmine replied. “Are you really fussing, Taisha?”

  “I bet you already know humans respond in a variety of fashions to surprises. I bet I would have smiled sweetly if you had asked first.”

  “You are offended.”

  “No, but wrap more tightly.” I pulled one of the tentacles around me a little more. She snuffled — from all around me — and did just that.

  It was a several-minute walk. I don’t know what it is about not being able to see, but it tended to turn me quiet as well, and it seemed to have the same effect on Amanda and Felicia. Instead, the aliens talked casually.

  Then we arrived wherever we were going. They brought us to a stop, and then Jasmine unwrapped from me, my eyes first. But I clutched at one of the tentacles for a moment longer before releasing it. When I looked, she was watching me.

  But then I looked around. We were in a moderately large room, and from what I could tell, everyone from the linguistics department was there, plus three humans.

  “We’re going to be popular,” Felicia said, sotto voce.

  “We’ll dance with each other, as well,” Forever said.

  Then Prudence stepped forward. She took my hand and led me away from Jasmine. I found myself at the center of a circle of attention. “Jasmine Brighteyes, thank you for hosting us here, and for hosting this event today.”

  “You’re welcome.”

  “This idea started with a conversation,” Prudence said. “But in talking to several of the people here, it quickly became apparent most of us don’t know any more about dancing with a human than I did before Taisha danced a few steps with me. None of us was comfortable with that, so we want to remedy the situation.” She turned to me. “This was your idea. Will you get us started?”

  “I can try. I think we should talk it over first.” I turned. “Jasmine, I bet you’ve held dances before.”

  “I’ve held countless small parties in which dancing occurred, but it has always taken effort to get it started, nearly always begun by one of the humans, although we frequently get someone who says she is very interested in dancing with a human, and so it begins that way.” She snuffled. “It works better when a human starts it, but conveniently I have three that enjoy prompting it.”

  “Why aren’t they here?”

  “Duties.”

  “That’s too bad,” I said. “What style of music do you play?”

  “The humans tend to pick.”

  “Human music?”

  “Yes.”

  “Fast or slow?”

  “I don’t know how to measure that.”

  “Huh,” I replied. I turned to Amanda. “I think a mix of moderate and slow.

  She nodded. “Explain why to them.”

  “Sure. There are two basic styles of human dance.”

  “I’m sure there are far more than that,” Felicia pointed out.

  “Touching, and not touching.”

  She laughed. “Oh. Sure.”

  “Jasmine, how do we get music?” It was just a slight pause, and then music filled the room, then it adjusted volume. “Okay, how do we change that?”

  “I can give control to someone wearing a visor.”

  “Me,” Amanda said. “What do you want, Taisha.”

  “Something fast.”

  There was a pause. The music turned off. And then some electronic dance music started. I stepped to Felicia, grabbed her hand, and pulled her into the circle. Then I began dancing with her. She joined me, and then we did typical club dancing for about thirty seconds before I said, “That’s enough.”

  Amanda killed the music. There was silence, and then Prudence said, “That’s not what you showed me.”

  “No,” I said. “That’s what most modern humans do in response to music at that tempo. Oh, sure, people who are trained dancers can probably do something else with it. I don’t think that’s what you want.”

  “I thought…” Prudence started to say.

  “Amanda, a slow song. Felicia, will it freak you out to slow dance with me?”

  “No.”

  Amanda found some music. It was nice. Felicia and I came together, and then I whispered, “I don’t care who leads.”

  “You.”

  I got us moving. At first, it was just swaying like people do, holding each other closely. I laid my head on her shoulder, which felt nice. She felt nice.

  I needed to get out more.

  Then I added some musicality. I wasn’t a trained dancer, but I could move us around a little, but slowly, in keeping with the slow style of the music.

  “This is nice,” I whispered.

  “Yeah.”

  We separated, and Amanda turned down the music. I looked around, and the body language of every single alien in the room had shifted. “I believe, Prudence, that is what you had in mind.”

  “Yes,” she agreed.

  “Not every human is going to be ready to dance like that with someone she doesn’t know. She may wish to maintain more distance. It was actually a little weird dancing with my coworker that way.” Then I looked at her. “But nice, too.”

  “Andie said she’s sending a playlist,” Jasmine said. “She was watching this part.”

  “There are cameras in this room?”

  “Yes; Amanda and Felicia are wearing them.”

  I laughed. “Oh. Amanda, can you check out the playlist?”

  “It looks perfect,” Amanda replied.

  I nodded. “All right. I got us started, but none of you are a robot or computer, and almost everyone else in here is better at managing this.” I turned to Prudence, but she was looking at Jasmine. I shook my head. “Jasmine?”

  “I’m not staying.”

  “You’re staying long enough for a few dances, but we need to get everyone involved.”

  “Let’s choose partners for a song,” Jasmine said. “Because I need to leave, I’d like one of the humans.” Before I could move, Amanda grabbed a tentacle and then spun around, wrapping herself in it. I thought it was cute.

  I found myself in Verity’s arms. “You’re a Tutor.”

  “Yes,” she said. “Prudence’s sister.”

  “Ah.” I lifted my voice. “I hope everyone has a partner. Stand somewhere you can see Verity. Generally, one partner will guide the steps. I will show Verity, but then if she wishes control, she may.”

  A new song came on. I listened for a measure then began swaying. “People who can’t dance just do this,” I said. “Let’s a
ll try it. Gentle swaying.”

  * * * *

  We didn’t really teach them that much, but it was nice, really nice. I got my dance with Jasmine, and she clearly had already done a lot of dancing with a human, so I relaxed and enjoyed it. At the end of the song, I sighed happily and continued to hold my partner. As she didn’t immediately unwrap from me, I thought she was enjoying it as much as I was.

  “It is just dance,” I said. “A temporary connection between two people. Jasmine is mated, but she can enjoy this time with me, and I with her.” I stepped away. “Thank you, Jasmine. That was absolutely lovely.”

  “Yes, thank you, Taisha. I must go, but Amanda can control the music. This room is yours as long as you choose to stay. The humans must be escorted and blinded. I leave that to you, Prudence.”

  “We’ll take care of them.”

  The species present were humans, of course, one Catseye, two Tutors, three Hobbles, one each Komodo, Luxan, Niecor, Greygreen, Kitsune, and Loris, and three Martians. Of these, the Kitsune and Loris were both distinctly smaller than I was. The Luxan and Niecor were quite a bit larger. The rest were within the range of human-normal. That made them easy partners.

  We had to work things out with Chervil, the Loris, and Aventurine, the Kitsune. Chervil was first. “Are you comfortable being held like this?” I asked him, using Amanda this time as my model.

  “That might depend on the woman,” he replied. “I’m comfortable to dance with any of the three of you.” He gestured to the humans. “Or with my more petite coworkers.”

  “Aventurine?”

  “I’ll be okay, but I only want to dance with women.” She paused. “Or Chervil. I’d like dancing with him.”

  “It may be your dance would have young boys near your size.”

  “With the awkwardness of youth but the strength of a human male?”

  “A young male.”

  “Nevertheless,” she said.

  “All right. Here’s the next part. Chervil, you may have a hard time leading.”

  “I don’t understand what you are saying.”

  “There is nearly always one partner who makes the decisions. May I show you?”