Selected Assistant

by Robin Roseau

  “Pounce all you want.” I paused. “Whose idea was it to capture me like that?”

  “I don’t understand the question.”

  “Violet made me think you were one of the giant spiders.”

  “That is why you were screaming?”

  “Yes.”

  “You’re not mad?” I shook my head. “The pounce, as you put it, is the Kitsune style, when we are free to do so. I wasn’t going to let you see me, but Violet told me to trust her. I let you see me, and then you turned, offering your back.”

  “Your favorite pounce.”

  “My favorite pounce,” she confirmed.

  “The spiders, the silk,” I said. “They trapped my hands.”

  “That was for my safety.”

  “I’m glad, then. There was more silk.”

  “So you wouldn’t get hurt. That was the part I was worried about. Violet told me to trust her for that, too.”

  “If you pounce in the future, you are responsible for ensuring I don’t get hurt.”

  “I’ll make sure.”

  “You bit me. You have a venomous bite?”

  “No. I wasn’t the only one who bit you. One of the spiders did, too. When I pounce on real prey, I break their necks. Well, my ancestors. I’ve never actually pounced on real prey. You know what I mean.”

  “I do.” I nodded. “I don’t want that to be every date. I want other events, and some should be things that don’t scare me. But if you want to hunt me again, you may. I’ll always say ‘yes’ when you ask. But I don’t want to tromp all over the forest for hours, trying to avoid Violet’s traps.”

  “But she may scare you?”

  “Let me ask this: why did my being afraid matter to you?”

  “Prey should be afraid, even if the realization is brief.”

  “It is primal?”

  “I can pounce, and it is fun, but your reaction woke something asleep in me. And that was the next part of my thanks.”

  “Not too often,” I said. “And not when I’ve had a bad day.”

  “All right. Thank you.”

  “You’re welcome.”

  “The last part of my thanks is for what we shared last night, once we came here.”

  “I loved every moment.”

  “As did I. I have never done that with another species. I didn’t know how I would feel, and I had heard that my oil worked on you, but I didn’t know how well.”

  “Quite well.” I smiled. “Please, I hope we’re doing that again.”

  She chittered. “Yes. When you wish to be soothing, you can use your hands only. And you can groom me with a brush.”

  “Was that a request for now?”

  “No. I’m about to invite you to breakfast.”

  “Yes.”

  Laser

  Jasmine was in the robotics lab when eventually I arrived. She, Felicia, and Amanda were watching a computer screen, but they all turned to me as I approached.

  “Good morning,” Amanda said briefly. “I am having a very difficult time remembering this is a work environment, and any comments I want to make are inappropriate.”

  I laughed. “Go ahead.”

  “Felicia, I do believe our little girl had hot alien sex last night.”

  “I’m only taking Felicia’s lead as an example, and mine was only a two-some.”

  “Hey! I told you about that in confidence.”

  “That’s fine,” Amanda said. “But we’re talking about your hot alien sex.”

  “Well, we were. Now we’re not.” I shifted my gaze to the Catseye. “I would like to speak with you.”

  She dipped a tentacle, rose, and then wrapped tentacles around me as we walked across the room. She turned to me. “Are you upset?”

  “No.”

  She used her tentacles to lift my face further. Then the visor deactivated, and she pulled it from me.

  “Hey!” I complained.

  But she held my head steady and looked into my eyes. “You’re still high.”

  “I’m fairly sure there’s nothing illegal about what I took.”

  She snuffled. “Not a thing.” She settled the visor back then waited for it to activate. “What did you want to talk about.”

  “I don’t know.”

  She snuffled again. “You wanted someone to know you’re high.”

  “I don’t know,” I said. “God, Jasmine.”

  She pulled me to her, and we hugged. “I really like her, but I really like all of them, and you and… everyone.”

  “You’re a good person,” she said.

  “Carolina told me I should ask you to introduce me to an Octal, but you already did. If the Kitsune can do that to me, what can an Octal do?”

  “While I introduced you to Sudden Quiver, she didn’t use her pheromones on you, and that is undoubtedly what Carolina suggested. She is called a queen for a reason. Are you asking for a more intimate evening with her?”

  “No.”

  “Are you asking me not to give you to her for an evening?”

  I laughed. “No. I’m telling you I know I’m high.”

  “Ah.” She unwrapped from me, but only to adjust. It felt nice. “You’re going to continue to rotate, and I’ve told people that I’m not accepting any claims for you until Muriel’s avatar is fixed, and then perhaps for a period after that.”

  “All right.”

  “Good. Was that really what this was about?”

  “I don’t know. I think I wanted a hug, and maybe someone with her head on straight to talk to me.”

  She snuffled then got us moving back to the other two. They were watching, and Amanda had an especially concerned expression. “Taisha is high,” Jasmine said. “Several of the species produce fairly powerful pheromones, including Kitsune. I need one of you to take responsibility for her, or else I have to keep her with me and stuff her into a cell where she’ll be safe.”

  “Don’t do that to me,” I said immediately.

  “I’d give you something to do or help you sleep for a while,” Jasmine replied.

  “I’ll take her,” Amanda said.

  “No operating heavy equipment,” Jasmine said. “Her brain is working, but she’ll probably zone out. If she does, just let her enjoy it. She’ll come down over the next few hours. Get lots of fluids into her.”

  “I don’t need babysitting.”

  “Yes, you do, and you made sure I figured it out.”

  “Give her to me,” Amanda said. “Take that off.” She gestured to the visor. Jasmine did it before I could, and she set it aside, but it would be waiting for me later. She turned me to Amanda, even lifting my face towards her. “Your pupils are dilated.” She shifted her gaze to Jasmine.

  “She’s fine. It’s not a hallucinogen or anything like that.”

  * * * *

  Amanda mother-henned me. It was sweet. I was able to work, but Jasmine had been right. Several times I zoned out, and once I found myself leaning against Amanda when I came back to myself. That time, I looked over at her. “How long was I out of it?”

  “Twenty minutes. I’m jealous.”

  “I’m sorry your mate doesn’t produce really good but safe drugs,” I said with a laugh.

  “We were discussing lunch,” Felicia said. “If you hadn’t come back to us, we would have ordered delivery.”

  “I think a walk is a good idea.”

  “Sure.”

  It was mid-afternoon before I felt normal. I asked Amanda to check me. “Your eyes are back to normal, and you’ve been together for an hour. I think you’re fine.”

  “I don’t have any heavy equipment to operate yet, but I wouldn’t trust myself.”

  “I pinged Jasmine about it. She said you must have sucked Aventurine dry for it to still go on, or maybe it was from right before you arrived.”

  “No, late last night.” I sighed happily. “Amanda, I really want to keep my job.”

  “Don’t you worry about that,” she said. “Jasmine has been talking to me about how
to talk to Finley.”

  “Really?”

  “No promises. There are complications.”

  “Still.”

  “Still,” she said. “Okay?”

  “Let’s fix the avatar, then worry about this.”

  “Good plan.”

  But she stayed with us, and so she was still with us when the door opened, and three Catseye, four humans, and the entire linguistics departments, with their plus-ones, filed into the lab. I recognized Danette. She was wearing her own visor, and was looking around avidly.

  “We have guests,” I said, as if that wasn’t obvious.

  “Well, go welcome them,” Amanda said.

  “I will.” I climbed from the chair, smiled and walked over. “Good afternoon, everyone. Hello, Danette.”

  She turned to me. “What is this place?”

  “It’s the robotics lab. Do you want to see what we’re doing?”

  “Sure.” I grabbed her hand and pulled her to Muriel’s avatar. “Oh, wow,” she said. “That is stunning. Did you make that?”

  “No, a little Loris named Bay did, and he’s fucking brilliant. There’s a woman working here with ALS, or something like it, and this is how she gets around. Our company built one of the systems, though, and it’s flaking out. We’re trying to figure it out and fix it.”

  By then, some of the others had stepped over to us. I felt a Niecor hand on my shoulder. I smiled up at her.

  “Well,” I said. “While we’re happy to give a more complete tour, I don’t think that’s why we’re all here.”

  “Physical activity,” Forever said.

  “They want to shoot us,” Danette said. “And that one isn’t offering to let me shoot back.”

  “That one,” I said, “doesn’t make the rules.”

  “I’m glad she’s so big, because I probably can’t hit anything smaller.”

  We clustered together. It was Prudence who said, “We were going to host an event in the arena here.”

  “Laser tag?” I asked.

  “Yes.”

  “We don’t have rules yet,” said Verity, her sister, “But we should assume it’s aliens against the humans.” I laughed. I was the only one.

  “Felicia?” I prompted.

  “I’m not playing forty to seven, but if they can promise reasonably fair rules, we could play, unless boss-wife-lady overrides me.”

  “No. I think play sounds like fun, but I’m an old lady and require a handicap.”

  “Right,” Felicia said. “Old.”

  “Sure,” Jasmine agreed.

  “Really?” Amanda asked.

  “We’ll let the humans have first choice of the weapons they want.”

  “Should I be nervous?”

  “No,” she said. “Unless you don’t want to play.”

  “Taisha told us a little bit about her event last night,” Felicia said. She glanced at Danette.

  “Don’t mind me. What event?”

  “I let myself be hunted,” I said. “And they found ways to make me scream in terror. I’m not sure if I can explain more.”

  “I think I get the idea.”

  “Nothing like that,” Jasmine said. “Simple laser tag. We’ll probably play several games. Unmated humans are the prizes.”

  “Sounds good,” Amanda said. “What do I do with mine when I catch her?”

  “I imagine that is between the two of you,” Jasmine said, not missing a beat.

  “I’m not sure I like these rules,” I said. “There are only three of us, unless you have more stashed somewhere. Furthermore, I feel like actually playing to win, and Danette is three times as competitive as I am. I don’t believe her when she said she can’t shoot straight. She’s probably a former Marine sharpshooter or something.”

  “Not hardly,” Danette replied.

  “Are you really refusing to let yourself be a prize?” Jasmine asked.

  I turned to face her. “I don’t know.” I paused. “I don’t know what happens to prizes.”

  “They get taken to dinner.”

  “Well, that’s not much of a prize, then, because I’ll go to dinner with anyone here who invites me.”

  “What she said,” Danette agreed.

  “I’m surprised you’re still here. This is a long vacation.”

  “I was invited for an extended stay as a guest of the resort,” she said. “They worked it out with my employer to work remotely.”

  “Fabulous.” I turned to Jasmine. “Offer some real rules.”

  “I was serious, actually.”

  “All of you are going to compete over the three of us?”

  “That leaves three winners. I think that’s good. Don’t you?”

  “I’m pretty sure Amanda doesn’t want to win one of us.”

  “Sure I would,” Amanda said. “Dinner and a shoulder massage sound lovely.”

  I turned to Skye. “You’re going to let your wife win one of us?”

  “Hell, no. I am.”

  I laughed. “And?”

  “And then you’ll have dinner with us, and I’ll let my wife play with you for a while. And no, I’m not going to tell you what that really means. Assume whatever you want.”

  I looked around. “And what if one of us wins?” I asked Jasmine.

  “What do you want?”

  “Cuddle time with one of the furries.”

  Chervil squeaked but then he said, “Okay.”

  “Really?” I asked.

  “Yes.”

  “I’d play for cuddle time,” Felicia agreed.

  “Me, too,” said Danette. “But this still doesn’t sound even. I can’t imagine more than an hour or so of cuddling, but if someone wins one of us, it sounds like an entire evening.” She smiled. “Cuddle time with a furry plus a date with the non-winner of my choice.”

  “That,” Felicia and I both said together.

  “Are you asking for another trip to France?” Jasmine asked.

  “No. Anywhere he wants to take me.” She paused. “In fact, you can pick who it’s with, so anywhere he or she wants to take me.”

  “All of you agree to that?” Jasmine asked.

  “Sure.”

  “All right, then. You see? I was serious.”

  “Excellent.”

  * * * *

  She had body suits for all of us. They looked like the suit I’d worn last night, although she said, “These are specific for laser tag. They stiffen when you’re shot. We’ll demonstrate outside.”

  So, we changed, and then she handed a gun to Audra. “Pick your victim.”

  “You.”

  Jasmine snuffled. “Pick someone who doesn’t already know what will happen.”

  “Amanda.”

  “Excellent,” Felicia and I said in unison.

  Audra turned, pointed the gun at Amanda, and began shooting her. Amanda complained. It was Oberon who caught her when she started to tip over, her suit stiffening based on where the giggling Audra shot her.

  “That was fun,” Audra declared. “Anyone else want to shoot her?”

  “I think I’m shot enough,” Amanda complained. “I can’t move.”

  “You’re moving more than I could last night,” I said.

  “Resetting the suit,” Andie said. “You have her, Oberon?”

  The Luxan actually picked Amanda up. She was stiff as a board, but then she slumped in his arms. She squeaked, but he held her carefully before putting her on her feet. She turned to him. “Thank you.”

  “You’re welcome.”

  We picked weapons. I saw Audra and Skye both grabbed two, so I duplicated them.

  “Let’s move outside,” Jasmine said. “Ten minutes of practice, then we’ll make a game. During practice, a shot will start to stiffen your suit, but it only lasts a few seconds. Suits stiffen slowly, so you normally have time to make it to the ground gracefully.”

  We made it to the arena. “I want to see what it’s like to get shot for real.”

  “Sure,” Audra said. And th
en everyone lifted a gun and began shooting me.

  “Hey!” I complained. But I had time to drop to the ground before the suit finished stiffening. But then I couldn’t move, head to toes. One hand could still wriggle, but Felicia stepped over and shot it several times.

  “Thanks for that,” I told her.

  “You’re welcome.”

  “Resetting it,” Jasmine said. Ten seconds later, I could move normally. I cautiously climbed back to my feet. “Spread out. Remember we’re all here to have a good time, so I don’t recommend picking on any particular person, especially not the Catseyes.”

  Practice was fun. There were obstacles set up, and most of us found one to dash behind. I found myself hiding behind one, Carolina beside me. We eyed each other, but I said, “That would be too easy and petty besides.”

  “True.” Then she turned, poked her head around the obstacle, and lifted her gun.

  As I said, practice was fun. I did some shooting. I got shot. But everyone was under sufficient cover that our suits were resetting as quickly as we were getting shot, so I don't think anyone entirely stiffened up. Then Jasmine’s amplified voice said, “That’s good. Let’s meet for rules.”

  We gathered in a circle at the center. On arriving, Danette said, “I’ll play any games that seem fair.”

  “With this many people, teams are a good idea,” Audra said. “Agreed?”

  “Like lots of us against lots of them?”

  “I was thinking smaller teams.” She did a quick count. “First, teams?” We agreed to that. “Then this is my suggestion. Each human should pick an alien, and she should pick someone she doesn’t know very well. I’d pick Prudence, for instance.”

  “There are more aliens than humans,” Skye pointed out.

  “Well, that’s still a lot of teams,” Audra said. “I think then the remaining aliens should pick a team. Let’s see how that looks.”

  I thought about it then walked over to Verity. “Would you like me on your team?”

  “Yes, Taisha.”

  There were 18 aliens and 7 humans. We ended up with 7 teams of 3 and four aliens leftover. Audra considered then said, “Three of us have more experience with this. Each of you join one of the other teams.”

  So, I ended up teamed with Verity, Chervil, and Makiko.

  “Very good,” Jasmine said. “The computers will count a point for each shot that contributes to someone’s suit stiffening, but even if you become entirely stiffened, you can continue to fire wildly. Your guns stop firing if a member of the other team physically touches you once you are at least three quarters disabled, which is worth five points. You earn a team score, so even if someone is disabled, her team can continue to score points for her.”