Redesigned (Off the Subject #2)

by Denise Grover Swank

  Damn my mouth. Why did I start down this path? But now that I’ve frolicked headlong into it, I decide to press on. I owe it to Lexi. “Don’t you think she should have a real college experience that doesn’t include living with her brother and having him chaperone her every move?”

  Anger flickers in his eyes. “Let it go, Caroline. You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

  He slides off the bed and picks up his clothes, angrily stuffing his legs into his underwear and jeans.

  “You can’t smother her forever.”

  “Let it go, Caroline.”

  But for some reason, I can’t. I’m like a dog with a bone, and I refuse to give it up, even when I know it’s suicide. “Have you ever asked Lexi what she wanted?”

  Reed pulls his shirt over his head, his face red. “Caroline, let’s not forget this isn’t a real relationship. We’re doing this until your Prince Charming shows up on his white horse. Based on those limiting parameters, I think it nullifies any say you have in my affairs with my family.” Cold Reed is back, the man I’ve encountered in a host of places. But I never thought I’d find him in my bedroom.

  “If I’m so disgusting, what are you doing here? You can’t find anyone else to talk dirty to?”

  His face softens, and he closes his eyes with a groan. “No, Caroline. God, no.” He grabs my arms and drags me against his chest. His arms wrap around my back and hold me in place. “Please don’t say that. This isn’t dirty, and I don’t want to be with anyone else. I don’t think of you in any way but with respect and adoration.”

  I try to pull back, but his arms hold tight.

  “I’m just protective of my sister.”

  “I guess we’ll have to agree to disagree.”

  “Have dinner with me tonight.”

  I grin against his shirt, but my earlier happiness has faded, leaving an empty ache in my chest. “I don’t know if I’ll have time.”

  He sighs, gripping my arms and taking a step back. “You’re giving me the brushoff.”

  “No. I’m being truthful. I’ve got so much to do and so little time.”

  “We have a committee meeting this afternoon. You can tell me if you think you can make it then.” His eyes have lost their earlier sparkle.

  I want to cry, and I’m not even sure why. I feel like I’m losing him, but then again, the plan is that he’s temporary. He’s never been mine to lose. The ache in my chest expands and steals my breath.

  “Reed?”

  His hand lifts to my cheek. “Um?”

  “Will you kiss me before you go?”

  He smiles, but it doesn’t reach his eyes. “As if I could physically leave you without kissing and fondling you again.” His mouth lowers to mine, and his hands cup my butt, pressing my pelvis into his. “If I were getting a doctorate in physics, I’d concentrate my studies on the unexplained and unprecedented phenomena of the pull you have on me. Is it gravitational? Electromagnetic? Is it some new force science has yet to discover? Perhaps I should change my doctorate. I’m sure I could get a Nobel Peace Prize out of it.”

  I grin against his lips, grateful some of his playfulness has returned. “Maybe you could be an overachiever and go for both.”

  He kisses me softly then leans his forehead to mine. “I think I’ll see how my current attempt at overachieving goes.” His presses another soft kiss to my bottom lip and drops his hold on me. “I’ll see you this afternoon.”

  I’d follow him out the door, but I’m completely naked. I’ve had this entire conversation with him without a stitch of clothing on and I never gave it any thought. What has this man done to me?

  After I take a shower, I throw on my robe and pad out to the kitchen to make a cup of coffee.

  Tina’s standing in front of the sink, eating a bowl of cereal. She sees me, sets the bowl down, and claps, a cheesy grin on her face. “Bravo.” She holds her hand up to high-five me, but I ignore it. “That was one hell of a good time you had last night.”

  Shit. I squeeze my eyes closed. I’m going to die. “Sorry.”

  “Oh, hell no. Don’t ever be sorry for great sex. Is it that Brandon guy? I thought you decided not to go out with him anymore.” She picks up her cereal and shovels in a spoonful.

  “No, it’s not Brandon.”

  “So? Who is it?” Her words are muffled by her mouthful of food. “Do I know him?”

  I turn my back to her and change the cup in the coffeemaker. “Yeah, you do.” I press the button to make a cup of coffee, then turn to face her. “It’s Reed. Reed Pendergraft.”

  She blinks. “Wait. The Reed Pendergraft in the math department? The boring guy who took me home before eleven o’clock on a Friday night?”

  The Reed in my bedroom was anything but boring. “Yes, the Reed you went out with.”

  A wicked grin lights up her face. “Maybe I need to give Mr. Pendergraft another chance.”

  I’m surprised at the possessiveness that shoots through me. “I think he’s currently taken.”

  She holds her fingers up like claws and scratches them at me with a wicked grin. “Look at you. Pulling out your claws over a math professor.” She laughs. “Who would have thought it?” she says as she sets her bowl in the sink.

  My back stiffens. “What does that mean?”

  She scrunches her face in disbelief. “Come on, Caroline. Everyone knows the guys you date have to meet certain criteria. Reed definitely doesn’t make the mark.”

  “What criteria?”

  Laughing she shakes her head in disbelief. “Are you serious?” Tina rests her butt against the counter and crosses her arms. “Major. They have to have a major with a huge potential salary. Then there’s their current financial situation. Coming from families with established money is a big plus. And of course, looks.” She lifts an eyebrow. “I don’t blame you on that one. You’re gorgeous. You deserve to marry a gorgeous man.”

  Nausea rolls in my stomach. “Anything else?”

  She twists her mouth to the side in thought. “Only that you’re a Virgin Mary in the bedroom. Although what I heard last night disproves that.”

  “Wait. What do you mean I’m a Virgin Mary? Who says that?”

  She squints at me like I’ve lost my mind. “That’s your reputation, Caroline. Guys see it as a challenge to, one, see if you’ll even go on a date with them. And two, see how far they’ll get. Rumor has it they can’t get to third base until after the fourth date. You’re known as the Ice Princess of Southern.”

  I close my eyes in horror. “I think I’ve heard enough.”

  “Good to have evidence that you aren’t the cold fish most guys think you are.” She rinses out her bowl and puts it in the dishwasher. “When you’re done with him, let me know. I might try to get him to go a round or two. Color me intrigued.”

  I go back to my room, leaving my coffee in the kitchen. If I try to drink it, I’m sure I’ll vomit.

  Is that why Reed made this proposal? He knew my criteria, and this is his way of getting in my pants? Is that why he’s agreed to make this temporary, thinking he’d get a shot at Ice Princess Caroline?

  Scarlett and Tucker were fuel for the gossip mill because Tucker was a soccer star with a bad-boy reputation. He changed when he started dating Scarlett. But I’m not like Tucker. I’m a nobody. I faced more than my share of ugly gossip in high school. I thought I had escaped rumors at college. Stupid me. Gossip is everywhere.

  I call Scarlett on the way to school, still feeling ill. “Did you know there were rumors about me at Southern?”

  “Uh…” she pauses. “In any particular topic?”

  “There’s more than one?” I wail.

  “Caroline, stop. I was teasing. No, I haven’t heard anything, but you know the only people I hang out with are math people and Tucker. That’s who you need to talk to. Tucker knows all the gossip while I don’t care.”

  I latch onto something she’s said. “So you mean the math students don’t hear the gossip? What about Tina? She kno
ws some of the gossip.”

  Scarlett snorts. “Tina is an anomaly. I can’t speak for everyone, but the probability is that people in the math department aren’t privy to gossip. Nor interested.”

  So maybe Reed hasn’t heard it.

  She pauses and her voice takes on a suspicious tone. “This is about Reed, isn’t it?”

  I remain silent.

  “Spill.”

  I tell her about my car not starting, and Reed driving me to the center and how wonderful he was with the kids. “He wanted to talk about last Friday night.”

  “I should hope so.”

  “He told me that I’d read things wrong. He was disgusted with himself because we were there with other people.”

  “Do you believe him?”

  “He seemed genuine.” I clear my throat. “There’s something else.” I can’t bring myself to tell her our arrangement. It sounds superficial and dirty.

  “And….”

  Simple is best. “We’ve agreed to try to date.”

  She’s silent.

  “Why aren’t you saying anything?”

  “Why are you wasting your time with him? You know he’s not your type.”

  “You mean poor.”

  “I prefer to think of it as financially challenged,” Scarlett says.

  “You of all people should understand my reasoning.”

  “There’s more to life than money.”

  I laugh and it’s ugly and raw. “Tell that to eight-year-old me. The one who’s immortalized on the wall of pictures at the Middle Tennessee Children’s Charity. The little girl who went to bed crying because her stomach burned with hunger. The girl whose clothes came from the charity and were so worn and faded, they had to be fifth- or sixth-hand, not second. Or the twelve-year-old girl who only had one pair of shoes. A worn pair of sneakers with holes and the soles falling off. I wore them all fucking year, Scarlett.” I choke on the lump in my throat. “You tell the girl whose life was a living hell all because she didn’t have money. You tell that girl money isn’t important.”

  “Caroline.” Scarlett’s soft voice soothes my pain at my remembrance.

  “So even you think I’m a gold-digging, frigid bitch?”

  “Did Reed say that?” She sounds livid.

  “No.” I smirk. “Ironically, he’s the one person who didn’t.”

  “Does he know about your past?”

  I blink and remain silent for several seconds. “You know the answer to that.”

  I can hear her disappointment in her silence.

  “How’s your mom?”

  “I have no idea.”

  “Don’t blow this, Caroline.”

  “Enough with the lectures, Scarlett. I’ve gotta go.”

  “Okay.” She sounds worried. “But I hate for us to hang up this way.”

  I sigh. “We’re good. I’m pulling into the west parking lot now so I need to focus on getting a parking spot.”

  “Okay.”

  I hang up before she finishes the word.

  I call Tucker next and immediately ask, “What are the rumors going around campus about me?”

  Tucker’s voice raises two octaves. “Hello, Tucker this is Caroline. How are you? Good, I have a question.” His voice returns to normal. “That’s how it’s done.”

  “And yet we still get back to the same question. What are the rumors going around about me?”

  “Caroline.”

  “I’m a big girl and I’m about to go into class so I don’t have time for the tiptoe bullshit. I want to know now.”

  He pauses. “The fluffy version or the straight version?”

  So Tina was right. There really are rumors about me. “Give it to me straight.”

  “You’re at Southern for your M.R.S. degree.”

  “I see.” The sad truth is the rumors are right.

  “Most guys see it as a personal challenge to get you to bed.” He lets that one soak in. “That’s why I put the fear of God into Reed Friday night. In case that was his reason for sniffing around.”

  “Thanks.” I hang up and walk across campus toward my Environmental Sustainability for Designers class. I want to trust Reed, I really do. But I need to hear it from his own mouth. If he really got me into bed as a challenge, wouldn’t he get laid and move on? But then why would he? The sex is great. Why not stick around and enjoy it? I’ve handed him a commitment-free relationship on a silver platter. Isn’t that what most guys dream of? And all set up by my own rules.

  It’s difficult to concentrate on my class, and I consider calling Reed and confronting him but when my class is over, I pull out my phone and find a text:

  Did your car start this morning? I should have stuck around to make sure you got to campus okay.

  That doesn’t sound like a guy looking for a quick lay. For now, I decide to take him at his word until he proves me otherwise.

  It started fine. Thank you. For everything.

  My pleasure.

  I laugh at his last text, sure it has more than one meaning.

  My next class isn’t until this afternoon so I grab a coffee and a bagel from the student center and head to the design lab. I can get a good three hours in before I have to stop for class, then I can get another hour in before the committee meeting. I’m going to practically be living in the lab for the next two weeks.

  I get the skirt constructed and realize I’m in huge trouble. The dressmaker forms are adult women sizes.

  “Caroline, you’ve got to go,” one of my classmates calls out. “Don’t you have a committee meeting at four?”

  I glance up at the clock on the wall. It’s 4:02. “Shit.”

  I grab my bag and toss in a few items, but leave my fabric and pieces at my worktable. “I don’t have time to pick this up. I’ll be back in an hour.”

  “Go. I’ll watch it.”

  I hurry across campus and walk into the conference room in the dean’s office at 4:10. Everyone looks up at me as I walk in. I half expect Reed to give me a stern admonishment, but that was the old Reed. New Reed looks up with a soft smile and says, “We were just finishing the marketing report.”

  Everyone’s eyes widen and they look from Reed to me then back at Reed as though he’s grown a third eye on his forehead. It’s obvious to everyone this is uncharacteristic of Dictator Pendergraft.

  They’ve skipped my report so they come back to me, even though I don’t have much to tell. The company in charge of setting up the runway has been hired and confirmed. The theater department has agreed to help with lighting and all the design students now have child models.

  When everyone reports on their duties, Reed looks happy. “We’re in good shape. How about we skip a meeting on Friday and discuss anything that comes up in a group e-mail?”

  No one complains. The last thing anyone wants to do is spend late Friday afternoon at a committee meeting. The glance Reed slips my direction tells me he has other ideas of how to fill the time.

  After the meeting is adjourned, everyone files out, but I take my time putting my legal pad back in my bag. Reed hangs back as well, but so does Lexi. When the last person walks out, Lexi’s face lights up. “Where were you last night, Reed?”

  Reed’s head shoots up. “I told you I stayed all night in the math department and came home to shower.”

  She sucks in her lips and looks back and forth at us as she tilts her head. “Hmm.” She doesn’t believe it for a minute. She directs her attention to me. “Did Reed take you to the center to measure the children?”

  “Of course,” I say. I feel like I’m being interrogated. Then I realize I am.

  “And did he behave himself?”

  My face burns with a blush. “He was a perfect gentleman.” I don’t know what Reed has told her about us. Perhaps he doesn’t want her to know, since this is temporary.

  Reed walks over to me and wraps an arm around my back. His hand rests on my hip, so there’s no doubt we’re together. “We went to dinner when we finished up.”
<
br />   Thank God he doesn’t tell Lexi what we finished up before dinner.

  Her eyes light up. “Dinner that lasted all night?” Her eyebrows rise playfully.

  Reed’s fingers dig into my hip and I fight the urge to let my body melt into his. I really need to work on self-control with him. “I jumped her car but stuck around the math department working until she called asking for her keys. So I followed her home to make sure she didn’t have any trouble.”

  “I bet you did. You’re such a gentleman, Reed,” she teases.

  But the truth is that Reed is a gentleman. I’m sure he would have followed me home even if I’d told him no to sex.

  She lifts up her hands. “What you two do is your business. But I couldn’t be happier for you. I love Caroline.” She winks at Reed. “I think she’s perfect for you.”

  When she picks up her bag, I ask, “Did Brandon call you?” Reed’s arm stiffens against my back.

  Her smile fades. “No.”

  “He still might.”

  She shrugs and leaves the room.

  “Don’t do that.” Reed says in a low voice.

  I take a step away from him to watch his face. “Do what?”

  “Meddle in Lexi’s life.”

  I put my hands on my hips. “What are you talking about? I asked her a question.”

  “You’re encouraging her to go out with Brandon McKenzie.”

  “Well, why not? He’s a nice guy.”

  Reed is livid. “He had a DUI two summers ago. His father is rumored to have multiple affairs. The apple often doesn’t fall far from the tree.”

  My eyes fly open. “Oh, my God. You did an Internet search on him? Why?” Did Reed even know that Brandon was interested in Lexi?

  Ice water floods his eyes. “I had my reasons.”

  I shake my head. “I don’t have time to discuss this right now. I have to get back to the lab before someone moves my things.”

  “So that means you won’t go to dinner with me?”

  My chest squeezes with regret. Despite how badly this conversation is going, I still want to be with him. But I’m also beginning to panic. “I have to work. I would have said no, even if we hadn’t had this disagreement.”